Nekromantik (1987)

Nekromantik

Rob and Betty are two deranged necrophiliacs who share a small flat in Berlin. Rob works for a street-cleaning agency where he cleans up dead bodies from road accidents, and takes some of those bodies home so he and his girlfriend can have a nasty threesome now and then. After one of their sex rituals, they have a fight, break up, and Betty leaves Rob alone with their cat – which he smashes in a rage and then takes a bath while he rubs the cat’s intestines over his body. He loses his mind completely, as if he already haven’t, and goes out at night chasing hookers to kill (and rape their dead bodies). And to fill out the running time, we get some bizarre and tedious artsy-fartsy avant-garde montages that doesn’t add much more than an urge to push the fast-forward button.

 

The trivia page on IMDb can tell us that the director, Jörg Buttgereit, never intended to be a director and Nekromantik was just a film to rebel against the German film rating system, trying to shock as many people as possible. And I’m not doubting that for one bit, since there isn’t much film-making to witness here, really. The technical aspects speaks for itself when the director has to start the commentary track by explaining that someone is pissing on a dead pigeon in the opening scene, which you can’t see due to the poor image quality. And when the director says it’s terrible, then that’s all you need to know. Most of the film takes place in a cramped, filthy apartment, shot with a Super 8 camera showing close-ups of the couple sitting and daydreaming, bathing and fucking a corpse when it gets too boring. We also get a complete random, pointless stock-footage scene where a rabbit gets skinned and slaughtered on a farm to add some cheap shock value. However, I can at least point out a certain, hysterical scene that includes a big, erected rubber dick that doesn’t look real for a second, which is the films most memorable moment, for all the wrong reasons. Even though Nekromantik is too sloppy and amateurish to be taken seriously, it quickly found its way to controversy and made its purpose by being banned in numerous countries, and has a dedicated cult-following.

 

To point out some qualities, the musical score by Hermann Kopp is pretty remarkable, the poster is pretty cool, and the cadaver dolls look decent enough, which took four weeks to make, and I assume that’s where the budget was spent. They also used slimy pig’s eyes to put in the corpse’s head, since they couldn’t afford to make fake eyes, which one of the actors got the honor to suck on during one of the nekro-love scenes. He could tell us that it tasted like turpentine. Yummy. John Waters is of course a big fan of Nekromantik in which he calls it “Ground-breakingly gruesome” and proclaimed it as “the first ever erotic film for necrophiliacs”. So, at the very first glance at the title and cover you should quickly know if this is your thing or not. And if you don’t get enough, there’s also a sequel, Nekromantik 2 (1991) to enjoy. And just to put the cherry on the top if you want to feel extra dirty and maybe a little nauseous, also check out the short film Aftermath (1994) by Nacho Cerdà.

 

Nekromantik

 

Director: Jörg Buttgereit
Country & year: Germany, 1987
Actors: Bernd Daktari Lorenz, Beatrice Manowski, Harald Lundt, Collosseo, Henri Boeck, Clemens Schwender, Jörg Buttgereit
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0093608/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Relic (2020)

RelicKay needs to visit her old family home after receiving the message that her elderly mother Edna has gone missing. Bringing her daughter Sam with her, they both try to find clues which could help them figure out Edna’s whereabouts. Once inside the old country home, they soon find evidence all over the place regarding Edna’s increasing dementia. Post-it notes are found everywhere, with reminders of everyday things. After three days, Edna suddenly appears inside the house like nothing has ever happened, causing both tremendous relief for Kay and Sam, but also increased worry. The old lady’s behavior starts becoming more and more incomprehensible, and it feels like an ominous presence has taken control over her.

 

This year there have been so many horror movies postponed that was supposed to come to the theaters. So it goes without saying that, while starting the year off with great movies like The Lighthouse, Golden Glove and The Invisible Man, we Horror Ghouls haven’t had many chances to get our horror fix at the big screen for the remainder of the year. Thus, it was a nice surprise to see that our local cinema here in Norway had put up screenings for this Aussie horror flick.

 

Relic is Natalie Erika James’s debut feature film, and is a psychological horror movie with dementia/Alzheimer’s as the core of its terrifying happenings. The director used her own experiences as inspiration for the movie, as her grandmother suffered from Alzheimer’s for years. Upon visiting her in a traditional Japanese house (which she perceived as rather creepy) and for the first time experiencing that her grandmother no longer recognized her, it filled her with feelings of grief, guilt and fear. Which is quite understandable. Alzheimer’s is a terrible condition both to be in, and witness loved ones succumbing to. It doesn’t just make you forget things, it sooner or later makes you forget how to remember…and there is no way back from that. It’s a disease that causes both pain, confusion and fear, to the extent where there are even cases among religious people where family members perceive it as so terribly frightening, that instead of calling the doctor they prepare for an exorcism. Which is just…incredibly sad, if you think about it. And Relic does an excellent job on portraying the feelings of hopelessness and creeping dread.

 

Already from the start of the movie, where you witness an eerie scene with an overflowing bathtub with water running down to the steps below, only to meet Edna naked with only a towel covering the front of her body while looking anxiously inside the dark living room, we know this movie is going to play heavily on atmosphere. And in that regard, I think the choice of surroundings are perfect, with Edna’s typical country home which has gotten a bit run down, and the glimpses we see of an old shack which used to be there in the past. It is a bit of a slow-burner and it doesn’t rush in telling you its tale, but it keeps your interest up by feeding you eerie details, chilling atmosphere and compelling visuals.

 

For those unfortunate enough to have personal experience with the dreadful disease, the movie’s metaphors will be quite clear, and some of them are pretty cleverly made. Having knowledge of and/or a certain investment in the disease will, in all likelihood, heighten your experience with this film. If you view the film by taking everything that happens literally, without understanding the rather discernible metaphors, you will miss out on the true horror laying beneath the layers.

 

Relic

 

Director: Natalie Erika James
Country & year: Australia | USA, 2020
Actors: Emily Mortimer, Robyn Nevin, Bella Heathcote, Steve Rodgers, Chris Bunton, Robin Northover, Catherine Glavicic, Christina O’Neill, John Browning, Jeremy Stanford
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt9072352/

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Call Girl of Cthulhu (2014)

Call Girl of CthulhuWe meet the young, starving artist Carter who lives in a cramped apartment complex, where he spends most of his time in his room, jerking off to a blonde cam girl. He immediately catches sight of the escort Riley, whom he falls in love with at first glance and starts dating. At the same time, Sebastian is in town, looking for prostitutes who should have the mark of a baby Cthulhu on one of their butt cheeks. And he always goes straight to the point by asking, with his Oscar-worthy line: “Ladies, would you mind taking off your skirts? I would like to look at your … asses”. By the way, he is a sleazy cult leader who is looking for the chosen woman to give birth to the child of the alien / God Cthulhu, and then destroy humanity. Riley eventually pops up on his radar after he sees a nude portrait of her, which has been drawn by Carter, with that specific Cthulhu mark – something Riley only thinks is a birthmark. It is not long before Carter has to team up with a group of Monster Hunters to save his damsel and the world from its doom. And by the way, yes, the jealous and mildly insane roommate Erica is secretly in love with Carter who opens up for a bit of a silly triangle drama, or something like that.

 

At first glance, Call Girl of Cthulhu could easily sound like a porn spoof with a crazy premise that belongs in the 1980s in a corner somewhere in Tromaville. A dizzy ride with a lot of good cartoonish humor, energy and self-awareness that makes a lot itself with a small budget and limited resources. While some of the old-school effects are quite impressive and inventive, others looks like something one could see in an elementary school play. And what’s the deal with Sebastian’s henchmen with the pacifiers in their mouth? Talk about some edge-lords, I guess. Mr. Lovecraft did encourage others to borrow ideas from his stories, but maybe he would have rolled in his grave to this insanity, where we are entertained with monster dicks, monster tits, zombies, sleazy nudity and an unique insight into an escort’s lugubrious everyday life. Or he might have loved it, who knows. Regardless, there is a lot of enthusiasm and love for Lovecraft’s imagination that balances and walks the line perfectly on spoofing and praising him with dedicated amateur actors who seem to have a lot of fun.

 

Call Girl of Cthulhu

 

Director: Chris LaMartina
Country & year: USA, 2014
Actors: David Phillip Carollo, Melissa LaMartina, Nicolette le Faye, Dave Gamble, Helenmary Ball, Sabrina Taylor-Smith, Alex Mendez, Craig Peter Coletta, Elena Rose,  George Stover, Leanna Chamish, Troy Jennings, Stephanie Anders, Ruby Larocca
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt2689354/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Call of Cthulhu (2005)

The Call of CthulhuA man is organizing the affairs of his recently deceased uncle, and accidentally comes across a series of notes and paper clippings which tells about the Cthulhu Cult and an ancient horror lurking beneath the sea. Intrigued by all of this, he continues to investigate, getting more and more drawn into the mystery of this cult and the creature Cthulhu, which is a gigantic entity worshipped by the cultists: a creature in the shape of an octopus, a dragon, and a caricature of the human form. There is an occult phrase that, when translated, says “In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming“, meaning that the cultists await its return. As he learns more and more about this cult and the cosmic entity they worship, he gets closer to losing his sanity completely.

 

H.P. Lovecraft is one of the most influential horror writers of all time, especially his Cthulhu mythos. His works have even created a sub-genre within horror that’s called “Lovecraftian horror“. While there aren’t actually that many movies that are fully based on his stories, there are a lot of them who are heavily inspired by his tales of cosmic horror.

 

The Call of Cthulhu is both a faithful rendition of H.P Lovecraft’s short story by the same name, as well as a homage to the black and white silent movie era. This, of course, means you get lots of gesticulation from the actors since the dialogue is shown only with intertitles, aka title cards, causing body language and facial expressions to have a much bigger significance in order to portray the character’s feelings and emotions.

 

The film’s highlights are, of course, the creative visuals. The soundtrack is also top-notch, fitting every scene perfectly and fulfilling the film like hand in glove. In such a nightmarish tale of cultists and ancient horrors, I think it hits the nail on the head with portraying the intended feeling of impending doom, where the protagonist’s investigations slowly reveals upon him just how insignificant humankind really is.

 

I dare say that you do not need to be a Lovecraft enthusiast in order to appreciate this movie. There’s a lot of mood and atmosphere to admire here, especially if you can value the 1920’s style.

 

The Call of Cthulhu

 

Director: Andrew Leman
Country & year: USA, 2005
Actors: Matt Foyer, John Bolen, Ralph Lucas, Chad Fifer, Susan Zucker, Kalafatic Poole, John Klemantaski, Jason Owens, D. Grigsby Poland, David Mersault, Barry Lynch, Dan Novy, Daryl Ball, John Joly, Jason Peterson
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0478988/

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next of Kin (1982)

Next of KinLinda inherits her mother’s Victorian mansion, located in the middle of the Australian dusty farmlands. It’s been remodeled as an retirement / nursing home, run by Connie and the doctor Barton. She’s quick to settle in, but it isn’t long before nightmares begin to haunt her, while some of the old people start to die in mysterious ways. She finds her mother’s diary that reveals one dark secret after another, and opens repressed memories. She begins to see a figure in her bedroom window, the water tap turns on by itself, the house cat begins to hunt shadows in the hallways, and candles seem to light up by themselves. One of the female nude statues in the garden has had one of her tits crushed. Much of what Linda is beginning to experience is the same thing her mother noted in her diary. Linda’s underlying paranoia skyrockets to eleven as she believes someone is tapping her phone late at night while she talks to her boyfriend, Barney, the only one she can barely trust.

 

This obscurity from Australia is a slow-burner where the film takes its time to find out if it’s a gothic ghost story, or a psychological thriller just to make you as confused as the protagonist. The film has been compared to The Shining (1980), but I would say it’s more in the same alley as Roman Polanski’s “Apartment Trilogy” with some similarities from Dario Argento’s Suspiria, where the atmosphere is the center focus with some really disturbing moments. And if you get creeped out by old people, well, this film is clearly (not) for you.

 

This is also the first and last feature film of Tony Williams, which is pretty unfortunate, because with a far more ambitious script I believe he would have made some really great stuff. While the film got its cult following in USA, it flopped in Australia. And the film’s cinematographer, Gary Hansen, died in a helicopter accident shortly after its release. Life is unfair.

 

And here’s a warning: Don’t watch the trailer. It spoils everything. Yes, it’s one of those.

 

Next of Kin

 

Director: Tony Williams
Country & year: Australia, 1982
Actors: Jacki Kerin, John Jarratt, Alex Scott, Gerda Nicolson, Charles McCallum, Bernadette Gibson, Robert Ratti, Vince Deltito, Tommy Dysart, Debra Lawrance
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0084408/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Skull (1965)

The SkullDr. Maitland is collecting esoterica, and one day the guy who is his regular source of such items offers him a skull that is supposedly the remains of Marquis de Sade. He soon discovers that the skull is possessed by an evil spirit who turns people into crazed killers.

 

The Marquis de Sade was a French nobleman born in 1740, and even those who don’t know about him will most likely know the words derived from his name: sadism and sadist. He wrote several novels, plays, and short stories, and is most known for his erotic works depicting sexual fantasies with a strong focus on violence. The Marquis became infamous due to his sexual crimes and abuse against young men, women, and even children. He was arrested and imprisoned multiple times, including in the Château de Vincennes, where he successfully appealed his death sentence. There, he remained imprisoned (despite an escape attempt). During the rest of his life he resumed to his writing, and during the last four years of his life (until his death in 1814) he began a sexual relationship with 14 year old Madeleine LeClerc, daughter of an employee at Charenton. After his burial, his skull was removed from his grave for phrenological examination. No one knows what happened to the skull after that, so there’s a little bit of historical info serving as the basis of the inspiration for this film.

 

The movie starts off with a gravedigger opening Marquis de Sade’s grave, chops off the corpse’s head with the spade and takes it home with him. After using chemicals to remove all the flesh and skin, he soon becomes the skull’s first victim. Of course, the skull comes into the hands of Marco, who is providing Dr. Maitland (Peter Cushing) with the esoterica he’s eager to buy for this collection. Sir Matthew Phillips (Christoper Lee) tries to warn him about the skull’s evil abilities, but of course, his warnings go unheeded.

 

The Skull

 

The Skull serves as a good example of 60’s horror, and with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing in the major roles it’s a little surprising that it hasn’t attracted more attention. The possessed skull and its levitation and movements with occasionally visible strings can probably be seen as a tad bit cheesy by today’s standards, but that’s just part of the old-fashioned charm of horror films like this. The effects of the Skull itself is a big part of the entertainment of this film, and during Dr. Maitland’s descent into madness due to the skull’s influence on him, there are some pretty tripping scenes.

 

Now, with the Marquis de Sade as the main focus of the film, you might expect more references to the erotic aspects (of which there aren’t any) but remember that this movie came out during a time where the censoring was pretty strict, so that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. Overall, it’s well worth a watch, especially if you want to see the combined talents of Lee and Cushing. And, of course, if you want to watch a floating skull with visible strings attached to it!

 

The Skull

 

Director: Freddie Francis
Country & year: UK, 1965
Actors: Peter Cushing, Patrick Wymark, Jill Bennett, Nigel Green, Patrick Magee, Peter Woodthorpe, Michael Gough, George Coulouris, April Olrich, Maurice Good, Anna Palk, Frank Forsyth, Paul Stockman, Geoffrey Cheshire, George Hilsdon
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0059727/

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mystics in Bali (1981)

Mystics in BaliThe author Kathy Keen is on a trip in Bali, Indonesia, to do some research on an ancient black magic called Leák. She has already been to Africa where she learned about Voodoo, but she needs more material to fill her book on the subject of black magic. She gets help from a guy called Hendra, who’s got some knowledge of the local folklore, and he also soon becomes her love interest. He takes her to the obscure corners of the jungle where they meet The Queen of Leák, a crazy old witch with a cackling, screaming and over-the-top animated laugh. And it is obvious that the person who dubbed her voice had a really fun time in the recording studio. Anyway, it’s already hard to describe what’s going on here, but it’s something like this: the witch orders Catherine to take off her skirt so that the witch can tattoo something on her leg, using what looks like a long lizard tongue. If this sounds bizarre, you haven’t seen nothing yet. The tattoo is supposed to be a sign that Kathy is now an official student of Leák, and must come to her every night to learn more about this mysterious magic. And it’s straight down the rabbit-hole from here on, where Kathy and the witch dances like drunk hippies, transform themselves into pythons, flying screaming fireballs, and … pigs. You just saw that coming, right? And we get other things that include a flying head which you just have to see for yourself to believe.

 

The witch uses the body of Kathy to posses her, and wrecks havoc on the locals. This becomes too much for her love interest, who asks his shaman uncle how they can stop Leák and her black magic, so he can get his beloved Kathy back before it’s too late. And after this I can easily understand why Bali is one of the most risky places to visit. Just kidding.

 

Trying to explain this film to someone on a tired Monday, is almost impossible. And I find it a little funny that this is the first true Indonesian horror film aimed at a western audience. So, if this should be an easy thing to digest for us simple-people in the west without raising any eyebrows, I can’t even imagine in my wildest  dreams what the regular horror movies from that country looks like. And I’m not at all familiar with Indonesian horror films, or Indonesian films at all for that matter, so I’m really eager to take a further look behind that curtain, if I’m even allowed to.

 

After doing some research one can learn that the film mixes several obscure myths and folklore from Indonesia and Bali, such as the flying head with its organs attached, which is called a Penanggalan. It’s their own version of the vampire myth, basically. The sight of the head floating around with strings, with its primitive effects from the stone age, is just pure cheesy gold. And it’s not easy to tell when the film is trying to be serious or intentionally funny when the completely absurd tone is all over the place. A truly unique oddball of a film, with a lot of bizarre, unpredictable crazy scenes one after another, and highly entertaining, that’s all I really can say.

 

Mystics in Bali

 

 

Director: H. Tjut Djalil
Original title: Leák
Country & year: Indonesia, 1981
Actors: Ilona Agathe Bastian, Yos Santo, Sofia W.D., W.D. Mochtar, Debbie Cinthya Dewi, Itje Trisnawati, Ketut Suwita,
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0097942/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ouija Shark (2020)

Ouija Shark (2020)

So, it’s time to check out one of the newest, fresh releases of shitty shark films that have been spewed out like a never-ending diarrhea during the last two decades. This joke of a film is “directed” by Brett Kelly (who goes under the pseudonym Scott Patrick), who’s made a laundry list of no-budget films since 2001, such as Jurassic Shark, Raiders of the Lost Shark, Attack of the Giant Leeches, Avenging Force: The Scarab, Kingdom of the Vampire, Agent Beetle, and so on. Ouija Shark has no relation to Ghost Shark or Shark Exorcist, for those who would even give a shit.

 

The “plot” can be summed up in one short sentence: A young woman comes across a Ouija board at the local beach, which her and her friends are using to summon a… man-eating ghost shark.

 

Do I really need to say more? I mean, seriously, just take a look at the damn trailer, that speaks for itself. It’s exactly what you think it is. To even call this a “film” is one of the biggest understatements of the year, having a running time of about one hour and ten minutes, with zero budget, talent or script. It looks more like a compilation of gag reels stitched randomly together. Pure cringe from start to finish.

 

The shark itself is pretty funny, though, which is just a layer that wobbles around on the screen, while the actors really struggle to seem at least a little bit terrified as they are being chased in the woods in broad daylight. The shark also roars like a lion, which is actually a thing that goes way back to Shark Attack 2 from 2000. I also like the sound effect when the shark is supposed to eat its victims, which sounds like someone taking two bites of an apple in a videogame to increase the health bar. And you can forget about any blood and gore, the victims just disappear into thin air. The lack of effort is quite astonishing, this is a whole another level of not even trying.

 

One of the cheesiest moments of the film include some scenes featuring a non-convincing fortune teller with a flashing plastic ball, probably bought on the Halloween section at Walmart for under one dollar, while the rest of the budget must have been spent on the misleading poster which doesn’t represent the movie in any single way. However, if you know exactly what kind of film this is before pressing the play button, you may at least be in for some good laughs! Because, with the right mindset, low-budget indie horror like this can be an entertaining way to waste a bit of your time.

 

Ouija Shark

 

Director: Brett Kelly
Country & year: Canada, 2020
Actors: Leslie Cserepy, Leslie Cserepy, Kylie Gough, Robin Hodge, Staci Marie Lattery, Kyle Martellacci, John Migliore
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt11650674/

 

Sequel: Ouija Shark 2 (2022)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The House by the Cemetery (1981)

The House by the Cemetery

We’re in New England where Dr. Norman, Lucy and their son Bob moves to a big old victorian house, which by a coincidence lies right by a cemetery. How cozy. One of the former residents was a surgeon in the Victorian era, who did some really shady experiments in the house’s basement. And on top of that, his last name was Freudstein. Nothing bad could ever happen here, right?

 

Bob starts seeing visions of a mysterious girl with a doll, who says it was a stupid idea to come here, which has to be one of the first The Shining references. His parents do not believe in him (of course they don’t) and his mother is already struggling with her emotional problems while she refuses to take any medicine. After they have entered the house and started unpacking, the babysitter, Ann, comes in, straight from nowhere. A young lady with a menacing stare, ready to trigger Lucio Fulci’s eye fetish to its full maximum. And as soon the door to the basement is open, so is the can of worms.

 

House by the Cemetery is Fulci’s last part of the “Gates of Hell” trilogy, where he mixes zombies with the supernatural. This has a more of a cohesive narrative compared to The Beyond and City of the Living Dead, but is really slow at times with scenes that just seem to drag on forever. We get a long scene with a bat that could have been cut down to ten seconds, where it cuts straight to a guy who starts the scene with a yawn. Talk about timing. The kid who plays Bob has one of the most ridiculously out of place dubbing ever, that unfortunately ruins every scene he’s in, which just adds far more chuckles and eye-rolling than tension. It’s not the actors fault, but the movie would gain a lot just to remove the dub with a better one.

 

It’s not my favorite Fulci film, but far from the worst, and it has some great qualities. The soundtrack is good, in which the intro tunes give some serious Castlevania vibes. The technical aspects are pretty solid, with its thick, moody and sometimes gothic atmosphere, just as the predecessors. And several messy gory scenes, filled with maggots, of course.

 

The House by the Cemetery

 

Director: Lucio Fulci
Original title: Quella villa accanto al cimitero
Country & year: Italy, 1981
Actors: Catriona MacColl, Paolo Malco, Ania Pieroni, Giovanni Frezza, Silvia Collatina, Dagmar Lassander, Dagmar Lassander, Daniela Doria, Giampaolo Saccarola, Carlo De Mejo, Kenneth A. Olsen, Elmer Johnsson, Ranieri Ferrara
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0082966/

 

Related reviews:
City of the Living Dead (1980)
The Beyond (1981)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pieces (1982)

Pieces (1982)Boston, 1942. The movie doesn’t waste any time and gets straight to the first body count, where a young boy is in his room minding his own business while pinning a pornographic jigsaw puzzle. In comes his strict and unhinged mother, who gives him a few slaps before she throws away that filthy thing. He then picks up an axe, which he happens to be allowed to have in his room for some reason, and chops his mother to death, before he saws off her head while he smiles, and then hides in a closet. When the cops come in, they just assume that the boy was lucky and managed to hide from the unknown killer. Little did they know..

 

Then we jump 40 years later, still in Boston, where the kid we just saw in the opening have grown up to be a serial killer (No, really? Who would’ve guessed). He hunts down young female students at a college, dressed as a classic giallo-style killer with a black coat, gloves and a big hat that hides his face behind its shadows. And speaking of shadows, the look of the killer is actually inspired by the comic book character The Shadow. He has also developed an obsession with pornographic jigsaw puzzles and is fixating to make his own, personal masterpiece(s) with real body parts. The first victim gets her head chopped off under the blue sky as she lies on the lawn outside the campus, studying. The chunky gardener, played by Paul “Bluto” Smith, is the first to be suspected, of course. The killings are being further investigated by Lt. Bracken (Christopher George) who also has a suspicious eye on the socially stunned anatomy teacher Arthur Brown (Jack Taylor), who looks like a reduced Vincent Price with a bad flu.

 

The tagline for Pieces says “You don’t have to go to Texas for a Chainsaw Massacre“. It’s probably the best and fitting tagline I’ve ever read for a film like this, and it isn’t an exaggeration either. Pieces is easily one of the goriest slashers from the 1980’s with all the mandatory recipes of Blood, Tits and Gore. The effects really stand out, especially the girl who gets sawed to pieces in the toilet, and some visual highlights like the woman who gets butchered on the water bed. And as bad, wooden and stiff the acting is, which is also the funniest part of the movie, they sure were dedicated enough to deal with gallons of animal blood, fresh from the local slaughterhouse, while organs from dead animals were used as the more gorier effects. Must have smelled just like pure movie magic. There is some really bizarre dialogues here, such as one of the female students saying right of the blue and makes it pretty clear that it’s the middle of the mating season: “the most beautiful thing in the world is to smoke pot and fuck in a waterbed at the same time”. I want a T-shirt with that quote. There’s also a complete random cameo of a Bruce Lee imitator that doesn’t make any sense. But nevertheless, Pieces is a lot of bloody, brainless fun with solid entertainment value that definitely belongs in every gore-hound’s film collection.

 

Pieces

 

Director: Juan Piquer Simón
Original title: Mil gritos tiene la noche
Country & year: Spain | USA | Puerto Rico, 1982
Actors: Christopher George, Lynda Day George, Frank Braña, Edmund Purdom, Ian Sera, Paul L. Smith, Jack Taylor, Gérard Tichy, May Heatherly, Hilda Fuchs, Roxana Nieto, Cristina Cottrelli, Leticia Marfil, Silvia Gambino, Carmen Aguado
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0082748/

 

 

Tom Ghoul