Subspecies V: Bloodrise (2023)

Subspecies V: BloodriseHas it gone over two decades already since the last film? Oh, my. As we all know by now, the fifth entry in the Subspecies series was going to be a prequel, which was announced many years before prequels became the new trend we’ve seen in the last few years. Writer and director Ted Nicolaou began to work on the script shortly after the release of Subspecies IV, but then Covid happened…ehr, no, my bad, this was the beginning of the 2000s, so… yeah, what happened and why did it take so long? Budget and resources, they say. OK then. Because we also know that the average Full Moon production, especially after the millennium, seems to have a budget of a salary from a part-time job at Mc Donalds. I’m not trying to be mean here, but if you take a look at some of the twenty releases only from the 2020s alone, how many of them have you seen, except for the modern classic, which is Femalien: Cosmic Crush, of course (s a r c a s m). Obscure means far from bad, but most of them looks like pure junk to porn, where the old Full Moon we loved in the early and mid 90s seems to have lost all of its identity and vanished into a black hole.

 

So, what I interpret as budget and resources in a Full Moon standard must be something like make it look like a 90s Full Moon film. If that’s the case, fair enough. It wasn’t before the first teaser and some still images were uploaded when I began to have some hope. Another concern here was if we got something like we did with the wet fart that was Phantasm V: Ravager (2016) the last film from another beloved horror franchise of five films that took ages to be completed. I can say with a good conscience that Subspecies V: Bloodrise is a masterpiece compared to that film.

 

In the fifth and final entry of the Subspecies saga, we travel way back in the old, ancient Romania with swords, cloth and some horses, where we get the backstory of Radu Vladislas, and how he became the awesome EVIL Radu. The film is viewed from Radu’s perspective with narration from the man himself as we follow his transformation from human to the vampire we know him for.

 

The film starts appropriately enough with a witch giving a quick birth to a son in a cave. You can guess who. Some holy crusaders invade and take the newborn to a church where they dewclaw (ouch) the baby and make sure he grows up to be a fellow holy crusader – which he does. Then we see Radu Vladislas (Anders Hove) for the very first time without makeup, as the holy crusader he’s grown up to be, for now that is. He’s now on the quest for his life; to enter Castle Vladislas, kill his evil vampire king father with the Sword of Laertes, and claim the Bloodstone. The king uses his vampire magic to flee before Radu is able to kill him. Oh well. If this is the same king we saw in the first film, played by Angus Scrimm, I don’t know. I’m a little confused. Anyway – In the castle dungeon, he releases Leena (Denise Duff) a woman in distress, and a young boy, named Stefan. Yes, Radus’s lost brother, who he learns about many full moons later. But, UH-OH, Leena happens to be the vampire queen, shoves her fangs into Radu’s neck, takes the Bloodstone and leaves him like a newborn heroin addict. From here on, Radu’s hazy journey into vampirism begins, as he loses his mind and slowly morphs into the evil, drooling neck-chewer he’s best known for. Ceaușescu, eat your heart out, ’cause Romania will never be safe.

 

And waiting 25 years in order for Full Moon to get their budget and resources in place for the fifth and final chapter of the Subspecies saga was certainly worth the wait. Who would’ve thought. Because this is the best film from Full Moon since … Subspecies IV. What struck me the most, also by only watching the teaser and trailer, was the tasty visuals, which I did not expect in a today’s Full Moon film. Ted Nicolaou, the oldest veteran who’s still working for Charles Band, who also directed all in the series, has been able to keep the style, tone and the vibe with — once again — great use of sets and locations. This one is not shot in Romania, like the others, but in the countryside of Serbia. That could be a concern of its own, but thanks to access to old castles and other historical places to shoot, Nicolaou knows how to take advantage of very little. There’s also a lot of use of natural light here, such as candles and torches where scenes get soaked with atmosphere. From a pure visual standpoint, it reminded me more of Subspecies II and III, where the creative use of light and shadow was a big factor to the distinct gothic look. So yeah, I’m both impressed and surprised by how great the film looks.

 

Then we, of course, have the man, the myth and the legend himself, Anders Hove, once again as Radu. Even though this is a prequel, I can’t deny that the guy has aged perfectly for a role like this, as in his older age he looks like he could’ve been a lost brother of Klaus Kinski. The makeup is top tier, maybe the best in the series, which makes him the creepiest and most demented Radu to witness, as we see stages of his transformation as his looks progress into the monstrous vampire he eventually becomes, inside and out. Anders Hove gives it all, and it’s clear as a full moon that he loves playing the character more than anything which he slips right into as if it was yesterday. Because in his home country of Denmark, he gets reduced to playing tiny roles, such as a tired, old babysitter who just sleeps on a couch, or a grumpy alcoholic sitting in a corner at a bar. The rest of the cast is hit-and-miss with acting that goes from OK to a wooden leg. Kevin Spirtas, who played Mel in II and III, is playing King Vladislas here, and you won’t recognize him. The strongest supporting actor here is Stasa Nikolic, a troubadour who, with her brother, ends up as one of the first victims of Radu. It was sweet to see Denise Duff again, even though it was somewhat odd to see her as a villain. Nostalgia, yes I know, and I don’t mind that.

 

So overall, Subspecies V: Bloodrise adds a nice little backstory to our favorite vampire where you’ll get your dosage of Radu. A satisfying and entertaining conclusion for the core fans of the series, and much better than expected considering where Full Moon has been as a company during the last ten years and so. Because they still can if they really want to.

 

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Writer and director: Ted Nicolaou
Country & year: USA/Serbia, 2023
Actors: Anders Hove, Denice Duff, Kevin Spirtas, Stasa Nikolic, Yulia Graut, Petar Arsic, Olivera Perunicic, Marko Filipovic, Jakov Marjanovic
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11075540/

 

Prequels:
Subspecies (1991)
Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993)
Bloodlust: Subspecies III (1994)
Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm (1998)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm (1998)

Subspecies IV: BloodstormOnce again, this fourth installment in the Subspecies film series starts where the last one left off. Despite being exposed to the mother sun and getting brutally impaled by falling down the castle walls, Radu (Anders Hove) isn’t dead yet. Of course not. He wakes up while looking like a fried chicken, grabs his Bloodstone before he crawls back into his castle like a hobo. After Mel and Rebecca die in a car crash (RIP), Michelle’s (Denise Duff) body bag gets brought to a clinic somewhere in Bucharest. And the story gets pretty muddy from here on.

 

This clinic is run by Dr. Niculescu (Mihai Dinvale) and he’s as shady as he looks. He has some borderline big, bulgy crazy eyes that would poke straight through your soul, and looks like a pimp version of Frankenstein’s monster with a Duckula haircut. Can’t look more Romanian than that. He can quickly inform his assistant, Ana (Ioana Abur), that this is a vampire when he spots her neck-bite marks. She doesn’t believe him, of course, until she does.

 

In the meantime, we get to see what lieutenant Marin is up to. Yes, he’s still alive as well, despite the fact that he got stabbed to death by Radu in the previous film. Well, whatever. Here he’s confused and lost, pretty much like the script for this movie, and probably asks himself what the hell he’s doing here. He’s also a freshly-bitten vampire who hides and sleeps in the cabinets at work like a relapsed alcoholic. His boss, the big boss, is not happy with him, and makes it clear that he will fire his ass if he doesn’t get his shit together. Poor Marin. He never gets a break, does he. As Marin’s bloodlust starts to rise, he chews on rats and runs to the nearest cemetery to take shelter in one of the tombs. And from here on, we never see or hear from him again. What ever happened to Marin? I want the spin-off.

 

And speaking of spin-offs: here we also meet two new vampires: Ash (Jonathon Morris) and Serena (Floriela Grappini), who you’d maybe recognize from Vampire Journals (1997). Radu does not appear in that film, other than a quick mention. Anyway: They live in a cozy crypt and they both fear Radu. Ash and Serena doesn’t add much to the already messy plot other than some stiff melodrama with Radu. In the meantime, Dr. Niculescu is very keen to track down Radu so he can possess the Bloodstone. Because who would possibly guess in a million moons away that he’s actually a vampire? I’m shocked.

 

Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm is overall a pointless entry in the series, even though I must admit to being a little blinded by the sweet nostalgia. The first three worked well as a trilogy, whereas this one feels very forced and aimless. The dip in quality is apparent, and the moon isn’t as full as it was. The acting is stiff and goofy, even for a Full Moon standard, and as the title suggests, there isn’t much of a bloodstorm here. The film has its moments and tasty leftovers though, and this is far from the worst Full Moon film. It’s still shot in Romania among its gothic, beautiful surroundings, the music is still great, and Anders Hove still rocks your socks off as a menacing Radu. So it has that.

 

Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm

 

 

Writer and director: Ted Nicolaou
Also known as: Subspecies: The Awakening
Country & year: USA/Romania, 1998
Actors: Anders Hove, Denice Duff, Jonathon Morris, Ioana Abur, Mihai Dinvale, Floriela Grappini, Dan Astileanu, Ion Haiduc, Eugenia Bosânceanu, Cristi Rasuceanu
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0181315/

 

Prequels:
Subspecies (1991)
Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993)
Bloodlust: Subspecies III (1994)

Sequel:
Subspecies V: Bloodrise (2023)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Bloodlust: Subspecies III (1994)

Bloodlust: Subspecies IIIBloodlust: Subspecies III starts right off where the previous one ended. And now it gets real serious when Radu has taken all control over his dear bride, Michelle. The Stockholm Syndrome (or the Transylvanian Syndrome, if you will) has started to slightly hit while she does her best to maintain the last few fibers she has left of humanity. Michelle’s sister, Becky, is still in Romania trying to save her with the help of Mel.

 

The options start to run out as Radu has joined forces with his mother, still simply called Mummy, and they are actually such a badass duo who can cast their shadow way up to the moon. And no, don’t worry, he won’t do a Bowser and force-marry her up there. With Michelle, they have now isolated themselves behind the tall brick walls of their castle, here with the ext. and int. of the beautiful Corvin Castle. And good luck trying to get in without Simon’s whip.

 

So, what now? Yeah, great question. Now that the police can’t do shit and the options are down to zero, let’s … uhm … call The Expendables.

 

And that’s actually not a joke.

 

And since Sly Stallone wasn’t available, we have Michael Della Femina as none other than the CIA solder Bob. I’m not sure if Bob is meant to be a sort of a comic relief here, but (—MILD SPOILERS AHEAD—) there’s something hilarious about a buff military dude getting whacked down by an old, dusty granny mummy, just like that. Too bad he protected himself with silver bullets instead of garlic bullets. RIP Bob.

 

As Michelle’s lust and need for human blood starts to kick in, Radu has to take her down to the dark alleys of Bucharest to teach her how to hunt for victims. It’s either that or to suffer like a withdrawing heroin addict and die. And Lieutenant Marin is still here, trying to do his job with chasing vampires while trying not to disappoint his big boss. We also have some drama and a tension that boils between Radu and his mum, which also makes this a perfect film to watch on Mother’s Day. The big payoff here is maybe the most epic vampire death captured on celluloid.

 

There isn’t a lot more to say about this one, other than it feels more like an extended version of a missing third act of the previous film. These two were, after all, made back-to-back with much of the same production values, where we have great use of ancient Romanian locations, and overall soaked in thick, delicious gothic atmosphere. Yum! An overall solid entry that wraps it up as a nice little trilogy … until we got a fourth film five years later.

 

Bloodlust: Subspecies III Bloodlust: Subspecies III Bloodlust: Subspecies III

 

 

Writer and director: Ted Nicolaou
Country & year: Romania/USA, 1994
Actors: Anders Hove, Denice Duff, Kevin Spirtas, Melanie Shatner, Michael Denish, Pamela Gordon, Ion Haiduc, Michael Della Femina
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109302/

 

Prequels:
Subspecies (1991)
Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993)

Sequels:
Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm (1998)
Subspecies V: Bloodrise (2023)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993)

Bloodstone: Subspecies IIBloodstone: Subspecies II starts right where the first one left off. We’re in Castle Vladislas where Michelle (portrayed by Denise Duff from here on) is a freshly-bitten vampire, lying in a coffin while her friends are killed by Radu. And speaking of Radu, who’s gotten his head chopped off… according to the vampire encyclopedia, it isn’t enough to just cut off their head, you know. Because you also have to burn the head on a stake to completely finish them. If not, the head will somehow magically attach itself back, like what happens here.

 

After Radu’s epic little awakening, he finishes his brother Stefan by shoving a stake through his chest, drinking his blood that jets like a fountain. Shows you just how wicked Radu really is. First his father, now his brother. Oh, my. Radu opens the coffin of a scared Michelle, and is about to finish her off as well. A little too late as the sun rises just in time to make Radu rush himself down to his crypt in the basement. There’s a lot to process in these first ten minutes, but after the sun has gone down again, Radu is too late —again— as Michelle has escaped the castle.

 

To make matters worse for Radu, she has taken the ancient relic, the Bloodstone, with her that was in the coffin with Stefan. Radu gets furious as he trashes the corpse of his brother like an unhinged drug-addict (like he metaphorically is) before he gets on Michelle’s tail, who’s jumped on a train to Bucharest. Michelle checks into a hotel and phones her sister Becky (Melanie Shatner) in the USA. Before Becky is able to get on the first plane to Romania, Michelle dies in the bathtub in her room, and… that’s it, I guess?

 

Lieutenant Marin (Ion Haiduc) spots two bitemarks on her neck, and like most level-headed Romanian people, the last thing on his mind is vampirism. He gets hold of the Bloodstone, which he assumes is a stolen antique. Well, not far from the truth. Anyway, on the way to the morgue, Michelle suddenly wakes up in the bodybag, scares the daylight out of the coroners, before she runs to seek shelter from the sun. In other words, her sister, Becky, will have a hard time tracking down Michelle in Bucharest. What a mess.

 

Meanwhile, Radu pays his mother a visit, simply called Mummy (Pamela Gordon). She’s a ghoulish witch skeleton who lives in a cemetery tomb, of course. And she’s not related to the Crypt Keeper, just to clarify. She’s also as evil as she looks and does what she can with her magic to help her beloved son to claim back the Bloodstone and catch Michelle, who he now has some other plans for. Becky gets help from the US Embassy Agent Mel (Kevin Spirtas) to find her sister.

 

While the first film was mostly filmed in the Romanian countryside, here we expand the horizon in the big city of Bucharest. And I wouldn’t be too surprised if this was also the first American film to be shot in the capital. However, this is peak Full Moon. The first three Subspecies films as a whole are the best thing they’ve ever created (alongside with the first three Puppet Masters), where the second is the grand jewel of the series.

 

There are some more interesting characters here as well. Denise Duff, who took over the role as Michelle, does an outstanding job here as she slowly loses her identity and has to adjust to the dark, addicted life as a bloodsucking vampire. Melanie Shatner (yes, the daughter of William Shatner) does a solid job as the concerned sister as well. Kevin Spirtas as Mel comes off as more flat and dry, while we have some subtle comic relief moments with Lieutenant Marin, who doesn’t buy any of this vampire-fairy tale boolshit. We also have the old historian Nicolai Popescu (Michael Denish), a charming little oddball. Radu’s Mummy, adds some more of the cheese factor as she looks like something from a 80s fantasy horror movie.

 

Everything here is of high quality, all from the cinematography, the story, pacing, the effects/make-up, the music to the acting. Everything just clicks. The advantage of the old city of Bucharest really enhances the mood and the stylish gothic atmosphere all up to eleven while Radu casts his dark shadow over the city buildings. The use of light and shadows and the contrast-filled visuals are alone a delight to watch. It looks menacing and beautiful at the same time, and if you weren’t tempted to visit Romania after the first film, this one surely will.

 

Bloodstone: Subspecies II Bloodstone: Subspecies II Bloodstone: Subspecies II

 

 

Writer and director: Ted Nicolaou
Country & year: Romania/USA, 1993
Actors: Anders Hove, Denice Duff, Kevin Spirtas, Melanie Shatner, Michael Denish, Pamela Gordon, Ion Haiduc, Norman Cabrera, Wayne Toth
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106436/

 

Prequel:
Subspecies (1991)

Sequels:
Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993)
Bloodlust: Subspecies III (1994)
Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm (1998)
Subspecies V: Bloodrise (2023)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Subspecies (1991)

SubspeciesHey, now that the evil dictator Nicolae Ceaușescu has finally been shot and executed on national TV, and Romania has been freed from the communist party, maybe we should pay the country a visit? Charles Band with his brand-new film company, Full Moon Features, certainly didn’t hesitate. Because after disbanding his decade-long Empire Pictures, he needed something quite special to add to his new company. Full Moon had already produced the first three Puppet Master films with great success, but here comes the coolest piece of trivia in the history of cinema: Subspecies was not only the first American film to be shot in Romania, it was also the first vampire flick to be filmed in that country after the fall of communism. Talk about a double win!

 

Charles Band quickly scrapped together the title and the classic poster we see on the right before thinking about the script. Director Ted Nicolaou (who also directed the four sequels, plus the spin-off Vampire Journals) asked what the hell the small creatures that carry the woman on the poster was supposed to be. How could he know, it was something that was cool to have on the poster, so the writers just had to come up with something. They ended up being the ones we actually call the Subspecies, and Radu’s (the film’s antagonist) minions, which are just a tiny minor element to the films. They only appear briefly as a quick afterthought in the first two and in the second and the third one.

 

This epic saga starts with a silhouette shot of the famous Bran Castle where the king Vladislas (Angus Scrimm) in a big fluffy wig, probably borrowed from this guy, is having a drop from an ancient relic called the Bloodstone, the films precious MacGuffin. This stone produces saints’ blood as quickly as a porn stars’ ballsack, so the vampires can live in their own darkness without hunting down humans. And in comes Radu, one of the sons of Vladislas. He’s pure evil, inside and out, with long fingers that would make Count Orlok jealous. He wants the Bloodstone for some reason, even though he hunts down humans just for the hell of it. He wants the whole pie for sure, and the Bloodstone is just the cherry on top. He kills the king with a dagger, claims the castle, and Romania is no longer safe. So much for the execution of Ceaușescu. La dracu!

 

Subspecies

 

Then we meet a group of three young female students who travel to Transylvania to study Romanian culture and folklore. Our main girl is Michelle from the US (Laura Tate) who’ll be the main protagonist in the first four films. After meeting at the train station, they drive to a village in the countryside where we get a unique glimpse of an obscure, broken and piss-poor country where the dust after decades of dictatorship hasn’t even begun to settle. It’s grim and moody with all real sets and locations, which gives the film a more raw, organic vibe. The special effects are a whole other aspect, though, which I’ll come back to.

 

After settling in at an old hotel in the town of Prejmer, they meet the young man, Stefan. He and Michelle fall quickly in love. But there’s only one problem: Stefan is actually a vampire, you see, and the brother of Radu. And Stefan is the polar opposite of Radu, as he’s a good-hearted handsome chad who tries his best to live a normal, civilized life with mortals, thanks to the Bloodstone. Those days seem to be over, though, especially when Radu gets those precious young female students on his radar and starts to hunt them down. Rasnov Fortess was used as Radu’s hiding place, just to mention.

 

Full Moon made a malicious villain here with Radu, who’s best described as a more monstrous-looking Eric Draven. He’s played by the more unknown Danish actor Anders Hove, who also repriced his role in the four sequels. He brings back much of the primitive and animistic mannerism we saw with Nosferatu while he adds his own distinctiveness to it. The new aspect of Radu is that he talks with a raspy voice like someone with stage 4 throat cancer. And he never seems able to wipe his mouth after biting someone’s neck as he drools like a baby where even the hardcore goth girls would cringe and say ew.

 

The music/soundtrack here is really remarkable, constructed by four composers and performed by the Aman Folk Orchestra. It’s dark and moody, filled with classical tunes that go hand in hand with the obscure and eerie Romanian surroundings. The theme for the opening credits, enhanced in the next two sequels, became such a classic that the black metal band Marduk made a cover version dedicated to Radu, called Nightwing.

 

While we have a compelling vampire villain, the biggest credit goes to the use of locations, as already mentioned. We have forest landscapes, castle ruins, villages, old ancient buildings in general, and considering the harsh circumstances, the film looks way better than it probably should. Because there are some clearly rough edges here on the technical levels, especially the scenes with Radu’s minion creatures. They originally used actors in costumes with large sets which ended up as deleted scenes. The problem was, according to the director himself (from a journal he wrote during the production), was that they were played by drunk Romanians who I’d guess were still in celebratory mode after the death of Ceaușescu. And then there were the language barriers. So instead, we have some charming creatures made of claymation in stop-motion made by David Allen, who also worked on the Puppet Master films. The only thing missing is their shadow where the moldy B movie cheese really reeks, and it’s a positive thing that they have very little screen time. They look much better in the next two films though.

 

So, despite its bumps in the road, Subspecies is a solid and a very ambitious start to a nice, little trilogy that expands on its own twist on Eastern European vampire lore. I’m not sure how much impact this will have on today’s generation as this is a product from its time – but Radu, the locations, the overall atmosphere and the music alone make it worth a watch. The two sequels are great as well, especially the second. You can watch them all on fullmoonfeatures.com.

 

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Director: Ted Nicolaou
Writers: Charles Band, Jack Canson, David Pabian
Country & year: Romania/USA, 1991
Actors: Anders Hove, Irina Movila, Laura Mae Tate, Michelle McBride, Ivan J. Rado, Mara Grigore, Adrian Vâlcu, Michael Watson, Angus Scrimm
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103002/

 

Sequels:
Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993)
Bloodlust: Subspecies III (1994)
Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm (1998)
Subspecies V: Bloodrise (2023)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Troll (1986)

TrollHarry Potter Jr. is to be drawn into a world beyond his wildest fantasy and he’ll need a little magic of his own to get out of it alive.

 

The Potter family of four (dad Harry Potter Sr, mom Anne Potter, their son Harry Potter Jr and daughter Wendy Anne Potter) are moving into an apartment complex in the Bay Area of San Fransisco. As the daughter Wendy Anne (Jenny Beck) starts exploring, she goes down to the laundry room in the basement where she encounters — drumroll — a troll! This little goofy-looking monster creature, which looks as menacing as a fluffy baby panda, wears a magic green ring that allows him to take the appearance of other people.

 

And no, just for clearance, this girl is not the twin sister of Heather O’Rourke, nor does she spit acid on people’s face (for those who took the V: The Final Battle reference).

 

The troll, now in Wendy Anne’s innocent appearance, goes from apartment to apartment and transforms the tenants to trees, bushes and whatever. One of the tenants, played by a young and unknown Julia Louis-Dreyfus (four years before she got the big break), gets the pleasure to get transformed into a nymph and spends the rest of the screentime running around half-naked in her forest-transformed apartment as she giggles and laughs like an overstimulated little girl high on too much sugar. The whole complex is to turn into a schlocky B-movie madhouse which is soon to crawl of mythical creatures.

 

As they emerge in the apartments they have a catchy little satanic chant that could as well have been written by Danny Elfman for a Tim Burton movie. A scene I ‘d guess the kids of the 80s were pretty mesmerized by while the parents had a thumb ready to click the off-button.

 

As things get more and more weird around the complex, Wendy Anne’s brother, Harry (played by The Neverending Story star Noah Hathaway) gets in contact with the elderly woman Eunice St. Clair. She’s a witch, but don’t worry, she’s from the north. And we learn that she has some close connection to the troll and that he must be stopped. Is Harry Potter Jr. the one to save the day from evil trolls, wizards and whatnot?

 

Or what do you think, J. K. Rowling?

 

Beg your Pardon..? How could she know, when she denies to have even seen the movie. Yeah right. And I have never seen a porno movie. The filmmakers took it pretty far, though, and even considered to file a law-suit against Rowling after they suspected her of copying both the name of Harry Potter and the magical theme from the film. A remake was also planned to be made in the mid-2000s where John Carl Buechler, who also directed this film, was to return as director – but the success of Rowling’s Harry Potter and its film adaptations somehow made it convoluted due to copyright. What a mess. So yeah, Charles Band and company had their reasons to be a little bitter.

 

And speaking of Charles Band, this was the only film under the Empire Pictures banner (pre Full Moon) to have a PG-rating, if I’m not mistaken. Except some very minor hint of body-horror this a safe enough film to play at your kid’s sixth birthday. Despite the kid-friendly approach, the film has the Charles Band/Full Moon fingerprints all over the place with its silly humor and overall goofy, whimsical nature with actors who seem both confused and disoriented. The effects reek of 80s cheese and the troll costume worn by the Willow actor Phil Fondacaro is cute. Some of the other puppet creatures were recycled from The Dungeonmaster (1984).

 

Troll is also notable for having the Seinfeld star Julia-Lous Dreyfus in her first film role. And she couldn’t be more proud to be a part of this film and look back with some humble, nostalgic joy. So proud in fact that she called Jay Leno an asshole twice after he screened some clips from the film when she was a guest on his Late Show. Not much of a thick skin on that lady’s meatsuit or much sense of self-irony, being a comedian and all. Just like Jennifer Aniston’s view of her first filmrole in Leprechaun, she’s seriously ashamed as if she got reminded of that time she ripped a wet fart in public that went on repeat for ten hours. She should at least consider herself damn lucky for not being a part of the unofficial sequel that is Troll 2, because oh my God!

 

Troll Troll Troll

 

 

Director: John Carl Buechler
Writers: John Carl Buechler, Ed Naha
Country & year: US, 1986
Actors: Noah Hathaway, Michael Moriarty, Shelley Hack, Jenny Beck, Sonny Bono, Phil Fondacaro, Brad Hall, Anne Lockhart, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Gary Sandy, June Lockhart, Robert Hathaway
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0092115/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge (1991)

Puppet Master III: Toulon's RevengeIn the third installment of the Puppet Master franchise we go back to year 1941 and the place is Berlin, Germany where we meet André Toulon who works at the local puppetry theatre. And already here is the continuity off the rails when we learned in the first film that Toulon committed suicide in 1939 to escape the nazis, yet here is he alive and well and looks even younger. And if you thought this continuity blunder was bad, then you haven’t seen Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich where Toulon is suddenly an evil, unearthly and monstrous nazi himself. Oh my. Anyways… Toulon is also a happy man with his wife Elsa and it’s all flowers and rainbows until a nazi spy gets his attention on Toulon’s mysterious green serum, Elixir of Life, which wakes his puppets to life. And the nazi colonel Major Kraus (Richard Lynch) is very interested in that serum so he can resurrect dead bodies to use as human shields at the battlefront. With a group of Gestapos they invade his home and Kraus shoots and kills Elsa like the main villain he is. Toulon manages to escape and settles down in a hiding place where he’ll plan his way to avenge his wife and kill those nazi pigs with the help of his loyal puppets.

 

Although ocean air is always good for your health it was refreshing to get a break from the same locations on Bodega Bay Inn to the dark smogfilled streets of Berlin. And as Full Moon’s very limited resources to do a WW2 film is pretty far-fetched, they surprisingly nailed it. The sets, the costumes, the noir atmosphere is spot on. I was also surprised how the stock-footage of a crowded WW2 Berlin was able to blend in.

 

Then of course we have the puppets themselves which from here on and onward are actually the good-guys. Don’t know what I actually feel about that but as long they fight against nazis I’m in for it. And yes, nazis gets killed here in a straight-forward fashion, but like the second film and the upcoming ones, the kills are pretty tame and underwhelming. Some blood here and there and that’s pretty much it. Oh yeah, some quick shots of bare breasts, I almost forgot to mention. The new puppet, Six Shooter, is fun to watch though. He’s some dark bizarro version of Woody from Toy Story.

 

Puppet Master III is also regarded as the best one in the series and I agree.  The script is on its most cohesive, more steady pacing and more interesting characters to pay attention to. The strongest card here is the main villain, Major Kraus, played by the charismatic cult legend Richard Lynch, the most top-tier actor you’ll witness in the whole franchise. It also have the unique whimsical Full Moon trademark tone from first two perfectly balanced with the more serious undertone, which adds to the odd entertainment value.

 

Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge

 

Director: David DeCoteau
Writers: Charles Band, C. Courtney Joyner, David Schmoeller
Country & year: USA, 1991
Actors: Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Tunneler, Six Shooter, Leech Woman, Djinn, Mephisto, Guy Rolfe, Richard Lynch, Ian Abercrombie, Kristopher Logan, Aron Eisenberg, Walter Gotell, Sarah Douglas
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0102728/

 

Sequel:
– Puppet Master 4 (1993)

Prequels:
Puppet Master II (1990)
Puppet Master (1989)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Puppet Master II (1990)

Puppet MasterWe’re in the gloomy smoke machine-filled Shady Oaks Cemetery where the puppets pour some green liquid on André Toulon’s grave to finally resurrect their beloved master. After this atmospheric and eerie opening, we get introduced to the new characters, a group of young ghost hunters who are sent to the Bodega Inn to investigate the murder of Megan Gallagher, the wife of the previous owner.

 

One of the investigators go missing after getting kidnapped by two puppets and, ah shit, here we go again. There’s a weird side-plot with a redneck couple that lives in a shack not so far from the hotel, and they’re there only to get body counted. A soft-spoken man of mystery with a Romanian accent shows up at the hotel who looks like a mix of The Invinsible Man and Héctor from the Spanish Sci-Fi thriller Timecrimes. And who could that possibly be and why is he so interested in collecting brain tissues as people at the hotel starts to get killed? Huh.. Only Scooby-Doo would know…

 

Although this could also easily be a remake of the first one, there are some new ideas here to make some progress in the franchise which later goes more back-and-forth in the timeline. We have some flashbacks as we dip more into the lore and backstory of André Toulon and how he and his wife came across the Elixir of Life somewhere in Egypt. The characters are mostly disposable meat balloons with their own personal drama, but they’re at least far more awake and in presence than they were in the first one.

 

But the star here is the new puppet Torch which, you’ve already guessed, torches his victims to hell with a flamethrower as a hand. Totally rad! And then we have a quick classic paused movie moment with three seconds of bare tits. The kills are not to get too exited about. We have a lackluster scene with the Tunneller who drills the skull of one of the sleeping victims, some quick knifing from Blade and the only memorable one is a woman who gets burned alive by the Torch. There’s also a scene in broad daylight where some kid encounters Torch, which cuts off before he gets roasted. No dwarfs were available for body burn, I assume. Meh! Puppet Master II is overall entertaining as long as it’s going thanks to the mysterious villain, tasty gothic visuals, gloomy and light-dimming atmosphere, the puppets themselves, catchy tunes from composer Richard Band (brother of Charles Band) but otherwise, not much that will stick to the memory.

 

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Director: David Allen
Writers: Charles Band, David Pabian, David Schmoeller
Country & year: USA, 1990
Actors: Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Tunneler, Leech Woman, Torch, Djinn, Mephisto, Elizabeth Maclellan, Collin Bernsen, Steve Welles, Greg Webb, Charlie Spradling, Jeff Celentano, Nita Talbot
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0100438/

 

Sequels:
Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge (1991)
Puppet Master 4 (1993)

Prequel:
Puppet Master (1989)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Puppet Master (1989)

Puppet MasterIt’s time to take a dive into the dim-lighted, twisted, wacky and demented world of Full Moon from the mind of the master of puppets himself, Charles Band, where it’s Halloween 24/7.

 

Full Moon Features were established in the very late 80s and Mr. Band was already a veteran in the independent movie business, which had the Empire Pictures in his legacy of producing primarily low-budget horror/fantasy films spewed out for the blooming VHS market. Most of which are cheap schlocks aimed at a niche audience. Some notable titles from that era includes The Dungeonmaster, Troll, Ghoulies I and II, Trancers, Crawlspace, Rawhead Rex, TerrorVision, Re-Animator, From Beyond, Cellar Dweller and the list goes to the moon and back.

 

But with its brand new company after the financial collapse of Empire Pictures, it needed to get more serious and create a flagship film series to kickstart a new era where VHS was still king (and very expensive to buy). With Charles Band’s deep obsession with puppets and dolls, The Puppet Master became a long-lived franchise which, at the time being, has spawned over 14 sequels over the course of the 90s and 2000s. The last entry was released in 2022 with Puppet Master: Doktor Death and more are likely to come. An online video game based on the films was also launched this year.

 

All films are available on streaming at fullmoonfeatures.com, except for Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004) because it’s owned by SyFy for some reason and Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (2018) for whatever reason. They’re available on other streaming sites though for those who have regional bullshit access.

 

Puppet Master starts back in 1939 at Bodega Bay Inn, a hotel on the Californian seacoast and the main location in most of the films in the series. The old puppeteer, André Toulon, is in his room surrounded by his dolls and puppets as he’s adding some colorpaint on his latest creation. He also has a mysterious elixir that brings the puppets to life, and no other than Hitler himself wants that elixir. Of course. Two Nazi spies enter the hotel as they are on the way to capture Toulon. Before they enter his room, Toulon has hidden the puppets away in a suitcase and committed suicide by a bullet in the skull.

 

We then jump to present time where four psychics are spiritually contacted by Neil Galahger. He’s the current owner of Bodega Bay Inn, and when they arrive they find out that he committed suicide. Why? Who really cares. The more important thing here is that there are murderous puppets creeping around and they don’t like these psychics, and understandably so when they have the nerve to trespass on their domain. So go kill’em, puppets!

 

The film has its flaws and rough edges but my biggest gripe here is the characters (the humans to be more specific) which drags the film to utter boredom on several places. There’s absolutely nothing to them as they have as much screen presence like a dead potato. They seem completely tuned out, bored out of their minds and there’s clearly no one home behind their eyes. Even the puppets look more alive. And yes, my ghoulish walnut-sized brain gets that they’re supposed to dip in-and-out of trances and whatnot like the weird psychics they are, but still… WAKE THE FUCK UP! SNAP-SNAP! One of the psychics, played by Paul Le Mat, looks like a young H.R. Giger, by the way.

Puppet Master

Then we have the puppets which are just cute and adorable and always amusing to watch. They also have their own skills and weapons. Here we meet Jester the Clown with possibly the largest weapon pack that includes a knife, a handgun, razor-sharped scissors, exploding cigars filled with nitroglycerin, candy bazooka, smiling heart–shaped laughing gas bomb, flesh–eating bubble gum blower, explosive cyanide– acid stuffed Ice Cream pies, and even much more. Even John Wick would struggle here.

 

Leech Woman is the one with the gross-factor as she spews out leeches from her mouth upon her victims. Tunneller is an asian-looking puppet with a cone-shaped power drill on his head which speaks for itself. Blade is the leader of the puppets and pretty much the mascot for the whole Full Moon brand and which his name suggest, slashes his victims with his knife. My personal favorite is Pinhead, the one with the small head and the big knuckles. He’s just simple and a pure old-schooler who sucker-punches his victims into oblivion and oozes good old toxic masculinity. And the reason Pinhead’s fists looks more real in the elevator scene where he punches a woman is because it’s the fists of a dwarf stunt woman. In one of the sequels Pinhead also manages to rip someone’s head off with his hands. Savage!

 

The castle-style hotel of Bodega Bay Inn with its gothic surroundings mixed with POV shots from the puppets perspective creates an eerie atmosphere. There’s certainly some great production value here, despite its flaws, and it’s overall a decent-looking film with some clever camera work and steady directing from David Schmoeller (who also made the cult film Tourist Trap and Crawlspace with Klaus Kinski). The gore is minimal but we have at least some throat slashing, fingers that gets chopped off like small sausages and some other ghoulishness for dessert. Nothing too special but the fact that all kills are performed by a mix of stop-motion and puppets on strings surely adds to the charm.

 

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Director: David Schmoeller
Writers: Charles Band, Kenneth J. Hall, David Schmoeller
Country & year: USA, 1989
Actors: Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Tunneler, Leech Woman, Gengie, Shreddar Khan, Paul Le Mat, William Hickey, Irene Miracle, Jimmie F. Skaggs, Robin Frates, Matt Roe, Kathryn O’Reilly
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0098143/

 

Sequels:
Puppet Master II (1990)
Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge (1991)
Puppet Master 4 (1993)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Netherworld (1992)

Netherworld reviewCorey Thornton has just inherited a mansion from his recently deceased father, and travels to Louisiana to check it out. Upon his arrival at the grand estate, he meets with a beautiful young girl which is described as “jailbait” (but who is clearly in her mid-20s…) and his father’s live-in housekeeper, who is the mother of said girl. And of course, a black-gloved and somewhat fishy-looking lawyer. Corey discovers that his father has written a will which includes a description of how the old man has, supposedly, found a way to return back from the dead, and in doing so he needs the help of his son. Corey soon ends up at the local pub/brothel called Tonk’s, where he meets a witchy prostitute who harbors the secrets of black magic. And she turns people into birds if she feels like it. Corey is now obsessed with the task of fulfilling his dead father’s wish of bringing him back to life, and seeks help from the strange people in the weird voodoo-brothel in the bayou.

 

Netherworld is a Full Moon Entertainment movie directed by David Schmoeller and produced by Charles Band. Right off the bat the movie sets a certain tone with the illusory opening scene in Tonk’s bar, which features both chicks and chickens in surroundings that resemble a sexy yet uncomfortable fever dream. Downstairs is what you could probably call a funhouse-like brothel with weird hallways and just as weird characters. To top it all we also get to see a flying disembodied hand and a guy that is turned into a bird (although the latter isn’t displayed to the full extent, but more implied). In other words, it gives a certain promise of being a really cheesy popcorn entertainment flick.

 

Then the movie takes a u-turn when we meet Corey and he enters his newly inherited mansion, and a more serious tone is set. While we get to gradually know more about Corey’s dead father and what he tries to accomplish, the pacing becomes a bit of a problem where it’s all moving a tad bit too slow. The scenes at Tonk’s are definitely the movie’s highlights, with creative usage of color and lighting and some pretty cool old-school effects and jazzy sex scenes. The brothel appears to have lots of girls with names of deceased celebrities, including a woman calling herself Marilyn Monroe, who looks…well..exactly like Marilyn Monroe. This is a pretty cool idea, actually…a brothel where deceased celebrities have been brought back to life.

 

While it does move a little slowly and never really gets very exciting, it makes up for it with the visuals and a fun premise. Netherworld is entertaining enough with its slightly goofy concept, perfect for a relaxed saturday evening with some popcorn.

 

Netherworld can be seen on Full Moon Features.

 

Netherworld Netherworld Netherworld

 

Director: David Schmoeller
Country & year: USA, 1992
Actors: Michael Bendetti, Denise Gentile, Anjanette Comer, Holly Floria, Robert Sampson, Holly Butler, Alex Datcher, Robert Burr, George Kelly, Mark Kemble, Barret O’Brien, Michael Lowry, David Schmoeller
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0104987/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul