Arkin O´Brien is a handyman who is working for the Chase family. He’s a former convict, and his wife is in debt to loan sharks who wants to get paid due by midnight. Arkin then desperately makes a plan: he decides to steal a valuable ruby from the Chase home. After all, the family was going on a vacation so the house would be empty, so this would be like stealing candy from a baby, right? No such luck, though. While there, he finds that someone else got there before him, and they’re not after the ruby or any other valuables…he sees the father of the family getting dragged down into the basement by a masked man. Not only that, but when Arkin tries to call 911, he discovers that the entire house has been booby-trapped and rigged with all kinds of deadly devices. Even the windows have been boarded up and lined with razors. When he finds out that the entire Chase family has been captured by this masked madman, he discovers that the little girl of the family has been able to hide. He decides to try and save her, despite feeling like a fly trapped in a spider’s dangerous net.
The Collector is a horror film from 2009, written by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, and directed by Dunstan. The original script was titled The Midnight Man, and was actually at one point considered a spin-off prequel to the Saw franchise as some kind of origin story of Jigsaw. Fortunately, as this movie stands very well on its own, this idea was dismissed by the producers and the script was re-written into an original story.
Despite the re-write of the script, the Saw/Jigsaw-esque traps are very prominent throughout the movie, and they are always sadistic and inventive. I also find the spider-like appearance and antics of the masked man to be quite enjoyable, making him stand out a bit from the all too generic slasher/serial killer villain by giving him some features of his very own. His victims are trapped in his spiderweb, so to speak, and you just gotta admire how the guy manages to put the most elaborate traps all over the place in no time. It’s like Kevin from Home Alone grew up to be a serial killer.
The kills are brutal and gory, delivering plenty of graphic moments. The serial killer comes off as mysterious and pretty creepy, with no background story or any actual motive or reasoning behind what he does. We do realize there is some kind of fascination towards bugs or especially spiders (there are also several spider shots throughout the film), and the black glowing contact lenses he appears to be using which makes his face appear more bug-like. He “collects“ one from each of his killing sprees, but for what reason, we can (at least for now) just speculate. In this movie the character was played by Juan Fernández.
While The Collector is, overall, a pretty fun time, you can’t really help but noticing a few puzzling and nonsensical things regarding the killer. Why take everything to such great lengths by booby-trapping the entire home, when he’d already captured the family and had them tied up? It wasn’t like he expected any visitors. Not to mention how fast he could put up all those traps…but hey, all of that is nitpicking for a movie that doesn’t really take itself all too serious to begin with. It is a fun home invasion/serial killer thriller, with a bit of Saw meets Home Alone.
Director: Marcus Dunstan Writers: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan Country & year: USA, 2009 Actors: William Prael, Diane Ayala Goldner, Juan Fernández, Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Karley Scott Collins, Madeline Zima, Haley Pullos, Daniella Alonso IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0844479/
Today, being Valentine’s Day, what better opportunity is there to write about an erotic thriller about killer werecats? So let’s dive into what Cat People from 1982 is all about:
In a primitive human settlement in what appears to be a prehistoric past, with surroundings that are slightly surreal and tinted with reddish colors which almost makes it look like it could’ve been at some other planet, a young maiden is tied to a tree in some kind of sacrifice. A black panther then comes and attacks her. Later, another girl enters a cave where another black panther is residing, but this time there’s no attack. Fast forward to present time, a young woman named Irena Gallier has traveled to New Orleans from Canada, in order to reconnect with her brother Paul. They were both orphaned when very young, and raised in different foster homes. Now, Paul lives with his housekeeper Femolly, and apparently likes to seek out prostitutes. One night, a prostitute named Ruthie gets violently attacked by a black panther, causing her death. The police are called, of course, but since it’s an obvious animal attack the zoologists Oliver, Alice and Joe are called to capture the wild beast, which proves to be a black panther. They bring the animal to the New Orleans zoo. Simultaneously, Irena notices that Paul is missing. Hm, what a coincidence. Irena decides to explore a bit on her own, and ends up visiting the zoo, where she appears to be mesmerized by the newly captured black panther and stays for so long that the zoo’s curator, Oliver, ends up confronting her and then takes her to dinner. Not only that, but he also offers her a job at the zoo’s gift shop. The black panther later tears off Joe’s arm which cause him to bleed to death, and then it manages to escape. Soon, Irena discovers that both she and her brother Paul has a shared heritage that is destined to turn out deadly for everyone involved…and especially those involved with them in intimate ways.
Cat People is a horror film from 1982, directed by Paul Schrader and it stars Nastassja Kinski, Malcolm McDowell, John Heard, and Annette O´Toole. It’s a remake of the 1942 film by the same name, and also produced by the same studio, RKO Radio Pictures. It doesn’t have much similarities with the original, and as you might expect this version is considerably more explicit. Nastassja Kinski does an excellent portrayal as the mysterious, seemingly meek and beautiful woman who is able to enchant Oliver to the brink of total obsession with her. You can literally see the feline features in both her appearance and behaviour, so I’d say she was definitely a perfect cast for this role. The story, being set in New Orleans, gives the atmosphere and surroundings a definite European feel (which isn’t a surprise since New Orleans was a French colony until 1763, then it was transferred to Spain for a short period before transferred back to France in 1803).
Creature feature lovers will not get a full meal here as the creature effects and transformation scenes are used very sparingly. There is a little bit of gore, where the most graphic scene is the zoo worker getting his arm ripped off. So a little bit of gore, some monster effects and mostly plenty of nudity is what you’re in for here. The narrative doesn’t offer too much substance, and the movie is very much atmosphere and eroticism mixed with the thriller elements of how people are killed once the cat people turn into vicious black panthers. The reason for their werecat-turning is something akin to a curse: they turn into these beasts once they make love to a normal human, making them “doomed“ to stay a virgin or only have sex with “their own kind“.
Regarding the production and filming of Cat People, there’s a story about how Nastassja Kinski had an affair with the director, Schrader, during the production, and it all went so far that he planned to propose to her at the wrap party. This proposal never happened, as she didn’t show up and decided to ghost him afterwards. It took Schrader three months to track her down in Paris, and the only thing she had to say to him was “Paul, I always fuck my directors. And with you it was difficult“. Kinski has later claimed this story to be false in a 2001 interview with The Daily Telegraph. Aside from that little story, the filming apparently had a little bit of a hiccup when Paul Schrader was one day so stoned that he refused to come out of his trailer, causing a whole day of filming to get lost. This is something Schrader told himself, so at least that part isn’t just a rumour.
And now, it’s time for a kitty bit: the section “Big Cats“ of the New Orleans Zoo which is shown in the movie, was a set constructed in the Universal Studios back-lot.
Overall, Cat People is an erotic and visual experience, and pretty enjoyable overall. It also has its own theme song, called Putting Out Fire, with music by Giorgio Moroder and lyrics and performance by David Bowie. Ah, the good old days of theme songs..
Director: Paul Schrader Writers: Alan Ormsby, Paul Schrader Country & year: USA, 1982 Actors: Nastassja Kinski, Malcolm McDowell, John Heard, Annette O’Toole, Ruby Dee, Ed Begley Jr., Scott Paulin, Frankie Faison, Ron Diamond, Lynn Lowry, John Larroquette IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083722/
Gretchen and her father Luis, Stepmother Beth, and the mute half-sister Alma moves to a resort town in the Bavarian Alps. Gretchen doesn’t really want to, but she can’t live with her mother anymore and needs to come with them. Yay. Her family are going to help building a new hotel there, and upon arriving the buoyant Herr König offers Gretchen a job at the front desk where she even manages to meet a love interest. So…maybe things won’t be so bad after all? Then, strange and bad shit starts happening of course. Several women are entering the reception desk while vomiting, and she also has an encounter with a terrifying hooded woman. Things start getting even more serious when Gretchen meets a detective named Henry, who is investigating a murder that happened on the premises. On top of it all, Alma starts having seizures. Gretchen feels compelled to both get the fuck away from there and also to find out what’s up with this resort, which soon proves to put both herself and her entire family in danger.
Cuckoo is a horror film from 2024, written and directed by Tilman Singer. It premiered at the 74th Berlin International Film Festival on February 16, 2024, and was then released theatrically in the US on August 9, and later in Germany on August 29.
This is one of those movies where you (unless you’ve gone and gotten the entire plot spoiler from somewhere beforehand) have no idea what it will be going for. All you know is that it’s going to be one of those unraveling mystery packages where you’ll be sitting like a bit of a question mark for some time during the viewing. And indeed, already from the start you are immediately teased with several little nuggets about the protagonist and her struggles, not knowing much more than that she misses her mother and keeps calling her. Her relationship to her stepmother and half-sister are barely existent, and her relationship to her father is strained and filled with underlying hurt. Atmosphere-wise, the Bavarian Alps and the beautiful landscape fits rather well to give off an isolated feeling, which ironically couldn’t make too much of a difference to Gretchen as she’s already alone and isolated with her own struggles. Everything Gretchen experiences almost feels like the result of a shroom-induced fever dream, where everything is just…well…off. Everything just feels weird, odd, and totally cuckoo, and this surreal vibe throughout is not even the movie’s raison d’etre. Let’s just say that the movie’s title is actually more literal than you’d imagine.
We do get a fair amount of time with Gretchen wandering around, taking her bicycle out for some exploring, finding out one piece of the mystery puzzle after the other until things start falling into place. Eventually, once the mysteries are revealed, we do venture into a total sci-fi-fiddle-faddle territory where it doesn’t really…make too much sense, I guess? It’s very much making up its own logic, and in some ways this makes for an even more surreal and trippy experience where nothing seems to be grounded in reality. Like one of those dreams you have that starts off with a certain familiarity to real life, and then everything ventures into total cuckoo-land where you later realize that dreaming is often like being temporarily mentally insane. I personally think the odd and surreal choices for the story in Cuckoo works pretty well, but I can see how some people might be put off by it.
Overall, Cuckoo is a weird film with a slightly dreamlike vibe to it, focusing a lot on a surreal mood and atmosphere and ends up going places you probably didn’t expect beforehand.
Writer and director: Tilman Singer Country & year: Germany/USA, 2024 Actors: Hunter Schafer, Jan Bluthardt, Marton Csokas, Jessica Henwick, Dan Stevens, Mila Lieu, Greta Fernández, Proschat Madani, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, Konrad Singer, Kalin Morrow IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12349832/
It’s 1916, during the Battle of the Somme. A French captain has been wounded, and brought to the medical tent. He’s got hit by three bullets, but when the army surgeon removes them he discovers an additional fourth bullet which is made of silver. How did that get there? Well, obviously the captain knows as he smiles and says “eight for silver“. Then we need to head back 35 years before the battle, to 1881 in rural France, in order to find out the origins of that silver bullet. The brutish land baron Seamus slaughters a Romani clan who have settled upon “his“ land, except it’s not really his, they have a claim to it. Seamus won’t have any of that, of course, and he gathers a bunch of men to have them brutally killed and one of them is even dismembered and put on a stake as a horrifying scarecrow. Yikes! But, as everyone should know, you do not wrong anyone from a Romani clan without suffering the consequences. The elderly woman of the clan is buried holding a set of silver dentures, which will now serve as a means for their revenge. Soon, the townspeople and Seamus’ children are having terrifying nightmares of the dismembered scarecrow and the silver fangs. One day, the children go to the place where the scarecrow is located and the silver fangs were buried, and a farm boy named Timmy digs it up in what appears to be a trance-like urge. He then puts them inside his mouth, and bites one of the other children’s throat. This is the start of a nightmare for the townspeople and Seamus and his family most of all.
The Cursed (aka Eight for Silver) is a gothic horror werewolf film from 2021, directed by Sean Ellis. It was shot in the Charente region of western France, filmed on 35mm with anamorphic lenses. The movie serves as a gothic spin on the werewolf mythos, of which there have been numerous interpretations over the years. All from the classical old-fashioned werewolf movies to coming-of-age movies like Ginger Snaps, or movies set in a more modern setting like Wer. This one belongs in the old-fashioned category but with twists and turns of its own. The director said he was inspired by the story of the Beast of Gévaudan from the 1700s, where a man-eating beast was terrorizing the people of the former province of Gévaudan in the Margeride Mountains of south-central France, where there had been 210 attacks and 113 deaths between 1763 and 1767. Historians are still unsure what kind of animal the “beast“ was, but most likely an unusually large wolf, perhaps the last of the extinct species the dire wolf. Needless to say, stories like this are the perfect fuel for myths and legends, and it’s easy to see how it could inspire one to make a werewolf story.
Visually, the movie is very good with some decent set-pieces. The misty landscape during the bleakest autumn is a perfect setup for a movie like this. I also like how the early scene with the slaughtered Romani people sets a certain presumption of what to come, this scene was more brutal than anticipated. And indeed, there are some gory and bloody scenes here, and the effects are overall pretty fine, especially the practical ones. There’s a perceptible feeling of dread from the very start, aided with the fear and anticipation amongst the characters. When the first victim turns into a werewolf and the killing starts, the movie still manages to hold on to the feeling of mystery and trepidation. The only downside is that the movie outstays its welcome a little bit too much, where the final parts of the movie feels much longer than they should have. The pacing was overall pretty good throughout most of the movie, but it could have fared much better if the runtime was cut a little shorter.
Overall, The Cursed (or Eight for Silver, which I personally think is a better and less generic title) is a pretty good werewolf movie with a gothic flair.
Writer and director: Sean Ellis Country & year: UK/France/USA, 2021 Also known as: Eight for Silver Actors: Boyd Holbrook, Kelly Reilly, Alistair Petrie, Roxane Duran, Nigel Betts, Stuart Bowman, Simon Kunz, Amelia Crouch, Max Mackintosh, Tommy Rodger, Áine Rose Daly, Millie Kiss, Tom Sweet IMDb:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9907782/
I’ve seen some terrible, mind-boggling, retarded and fascinating amateur shows over the many years, but nothing could prepare me for this little Canadian shiny turd of a film called Things. And in this case, that is something I can appreciate. I’m always searching for the next best-worst movie, since I’ve always had a weak spot for these kinds of films, and this one belongs somewhere deep down of the horror movie iceberg. It’s impossible to review Things in a conventional sense, and is one of those that you just have to experience for yourself. Visually, to use that word very loosely, it’s something like Manos: The Hands of Fate meets Violent Shit, filmed in an obscure fever dream in the skull of Jörg Buttgereit.
The film starts right off like something that looks like some cursed low-fi video from the dark web. And to be fair, the same could be said about the whole film. It’s all shot by a Super 8 with the overall technical skills of two drunk cavemen, so that speaks much for itself. We’re in a basement where a mysterious woman (Jessica Stewarte) in a weird devil mask undresses in front of a sleazy-looking guy, named Doug (Doug Bunston), who says: I want you to have my BABY! My wife and I tried to have a baby, but we could never get one. Now it’s up to you. My true fair love.
And yeah, the acting is as goofy as the dialogues, which already sets the tone of what to expect. What makes this scene icky, for whole other reasons, is that this masked woman was/is a real-life prostitute, and probably did this short appearance just to scramble some quick cash for her next fix. The filmmakers tried to track her down to include her in the 2008 DVD release, but she could not be found. We all wish her the best. Anyway: two minutes in (yes, two minutes) and the film is already an unbelievable wet, bloated brainfart where there’s a lot for the senses to digest. The acting, the editing, the sound mix, the bizarre goofy music, the sheer level of pure and raw amateurishness… It will drain your sanity and good luck getting through the rest without some booze. The masked woman already had his baby, she says. Ah, good news then. And when she hands it over to Doug, the baby appears to be some sort of a monster that bites his hand. This was just a dream, by the way, as Doug wakes up on a couch in his living room.
After the opening credits, with the fugliest fonts ever put on film, we meet Don (Barry J. Gillis) and Fred (Bruce Roach), who pays Doug a visit on a late night. Yep, Don, Fred and Doug. These are the guys we’re supposed to root for. All three reeks of bad vibes a mile away, if the film didn’t smell bad enough already, where the youngest looks like a ticking school shooter while the other two have the charisma of the types of serial killers who would bury their victims in a basement crawlspace. We even have a dude here who pops in at the end (Dr. Lucas) who could be the twin brother of Jeffrey Dahmer. It’s hard to comprehend what’s going on here, but they find a tape recorder in Doug’s freezer and a diary of Aleister Crowley. Don puts his jacket in the freezer because it’s hot, they drink some beer, talking about paintings…
It’s pretty creepy up here. Why don’t you put something on TV, Don says.
On TV we have pornstar Amber Lynn, here dressed in a ridiculously dated outfit as the very least believable news anchor. She cuts in and out during the film to give some vague and unrelated plot details, or whatever, as she clearly reads straight from cue cards. Her background is randomly stacked with some cheap TVs and VCR’s that looks like anything but a news TV studio. Amber Lynn got paid $2500 to be in this, (the whole budget, I’d fairly guess), and spent a quick hour to shoot her few scenes. Director Andrew Jordan was at least clever enough to approach her with a 16mm camera to look more professional. You can’t see much difference though. And the biggest shocker is that she does the best acting here.
We have a random torture scene because the plot suddenly said so. Or maybe because the filmmakers had just seen Guinea Pig: Devil’s Experiment and thought it was cool to just throw in a quick eye-gouging moment. Yes. there’s gore here, but don’t expect much. It’s cheap amateur slop and combined with the blurry image quality, you’ll spot more clearly gory images from a Rorschach test. And there’s also some zombies here, because why not.
Doug finally shows up, so the main plot can go forward. And he’s irritated because Fred and Don didn’t bring any food. He opens the fridge and says after he gives a loud burp:
What the fUUUck? There’s a six day, or a six month old bread in here. Maybe I can make myself some kind of a sandwich. Eh.
They eat some sandwiches, drink beer, burps, farts and have a good time, I assume. And then we have the classic scene where they put a dead bug in Don’s sandwich. There’s also a dog here, who only smells bullshit and clearly doesn’t want to be in the film. Can’t blame him.
Around the 25 minute mark, Doug’s bedridden and pregnant wife, Susan, screams. Yes, she’s pregnant. Forget the masked woman we saw at the beginning. That was just a premonition nightmare. As if the film isn’t already a nightmare. A puppet creature with big sharp teeth crawls out of her stomach. Susan is dead. RIP.
Oh my gOOOd…! SUSAN, Doug yells. Poor Doug. He really must have loved Susan. Because the acting here is just that convincing. We then learn that Susan was a part of a failed impregnate experiment of Dr. Lucas.
After it’s been established that a killer creature now lurks around the house, plus some other ant-like monstrous Things, we cut to a news break where Amber Lynn informs us that the legendary filmmaker George A. Romero is once again taking his copyright case to the Supreme Court of the United States. Because pirates continue to distribute thousands of copies of Night of the Living Dead. OK, good to know. Where’s the weather report? As our three protagonists now have to survive in a cramped basement full of monstrous Things, the guy with the beard, Fred, suddenly vanishes, as if he was cut out of the movie. What the fuck? Where’s Fred?, Don asks. To give some logical explanation, we’re told that (and I’m not making this shit up) he was trapped in a mouse hole (!) that brought him to the third, fourth and fifth dimension. And if I dared to break down more of the “plot“, I’d probably be sucked into a mouse hole myself.
On the surface, Things look like something made by a group of ten-year-olds, just for pure fun and shit’s n’ giggles, as they were only goofing around with a camera with no more thought behind it. The whole film, except the ending, was shot in the basement of Andrew Jordan’s parent’s house in Ontario, Canada. His parents were also confident and wholesome enough to finance the principal shooting and pre-production, which I still guess was $2500 to only afford some quick scenes with Amber Lynn to boost the sales. Because director Andrew Jordan and co-writer/actor Barry J. Gillis had actually some high, grandiose ambitions with Things other than just show it to embarrassed family members and friends on a drunk Friday night. They wanted to distribute it all the way to Canadian Television. Because why not. And I just assume that they also saw the Hollywood signs far in the blurry horizon. The closest the film got to the mainstream was at the video rental shops, where it reached the historic milestone of being the very first film shot on an 8mm to get a VHS distribution in Canada. Andrew Jordan’s parents must have been proud, and cheers for that. Doug Burston’s parents, on the other hand, forced him to get a real job. And they might’ve had a point, considering that he was mostly drunk during filming (wow, what a surprise), and beer was a requirement for him to act in the movie.
The dialogues here is the most bizarre shit I’ve heard in a long, long time:
– They’re eating me! Take me to the hospital! They can rebuild me there! – I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I …! – All I see is blOOOd — and guts! – Ah, the blood is dripping like maple SYRUP! Oh, oh, so much blood! – My dog… my cute little bloody dog! – Listen, ah geeh ah, I’m gonna die! I feel like it, but I’m saved!
While this sounds bad enough on paper, just wait till you hear the delivery. It’s Zombie ’90: Extreme Pestilence level of bad, or maybe even worse. I refuse to believe that even a single line of dialogue was written here, aside from the scenes with Amber Lynn. The dialogues were overdubbed, since the original recording was useless, and Andrew Jordan spent months torturing himself in post-production to polish his masterpiece. He was high on cannabis during the whole process, which surely explains a lot. But even the most expensive sound mixing studio couldn’t save this. He also hated the experience of making the film, which finally begs the big question why he made it in the first place, and on top of that, distribute it on VHS for all to see. The mental state of these guys raises some speculation, because the more you dive into it, the more it sounds like a miracle that this bizarre, inept clownshow was actually completed from start to finish, and released. The entire project sounds more like something Andrew Jordan was forced to make at gunpoint, like some sort of a humiliation ritual. In that case, mission accomplished, as the film has garnered a cult-following over the years, for all the wrong reasons.
Actor and co-writer Barry J. Gillis is still very proud of the film, and said in an interview with Sins of Cinema that he would love to make a sequel to Things, and I’m quoting: only if there is a fan out there with access to an investor with a million or more dollars we could make a great sequel. And he also would love to have Bruce Campbell on board.
… and we can’t wait to see that. Just make sure to have Mike Flanagan as an executive producer so that Neon picks it up for distribution. Things is available on DVD by Severin Films/Intervision, and is also on our favorite streaming site, Tubi.
Director: Andrew Jordan Writers: Barry J. Gillis, Andrew Jordan Country & year: Canada, 1989 Actors: Barry J. Gillis, Amber Lynn, Bruce Roach, Doug Bunston, Jan W. Pachul, Patricia Sadler IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0183881/
Jesús Casas and Maria are a couple with a newborn son, Cayetano. They’re visiting a furniture store in order to buy a coffee table, where the salesman is offering them an expensive but high quality table which Jesús falls for immediately. Maria hates it on sight, though…and despite the salesman claiming that the glass is unbreakable and really tries his best to sell them the table, Maria still isn’t convinced. Jesús, however, really, really wants this table. He complains to Maria that she has not allowed him to choose anything for their home, so why not let him at least choose this coffee table? Well, he ends up purchasing it. In their apartment, which he inherited from his grandmother, he starts putting the table together. Upon doing so, he notices that a screw is missing, and he asks the salesman for another one. In the meantime, Maria leaves to buy some groceries in preparation for the visit of Jesús’s brother Carlos and his new, very young partner Cristina. And from then on…all hell breaks lose.
The Coffee Table (La mesita del comedor) is a Spanish black comedy horror movie from 2022, directed by Caye Casas and written by Casas and Cristina Borobia.
This movie is a perfect example of getting the best experience if going in totally blind, which was what we did. And oh boy, was it an intense ride! From the very get-go of the movie, you notice how the couple are having so many unresolved issues which cannot be fixed by simply buying a table. Maria is super-annoying and bitchy most of the time, while Jesús seems to have lost his spine a long time ago (and I would’ve said balls as well, but they just got a kid). You know it’s going to build up to something just based on the tension between the characters alone, but if you haven’t read any descriptions or a synopsis of the movie the experience will definitely be slapping you a lot more.
So…yeah. That’s pretty much how far I’m willing to go because I really don’t want to spoil anything. The Coffee Table is a pitch-black dark comedy horror movie which is best viewed when going in blind. If you want something dark and bleak which manages to be uncomfortably funny at times, go watch it and have a fun (or not so fun) time!
Directors: Caye Casas Writers: Cristina Borobia, Caye Casas Country & year: Spain, 2022 Original title: La mesita del comedor Actors: David Pareja, Estefanía de los Santos, Josep Maria Riera, Claudia Riera, Eduardo Antuña, Gala Flores, Cristina Dilla, Itziar Castro, Damià Fustagueras Petit IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21874760/
In a remote little French town located somewhere in the mountains, there have been a series of children’s disappearance cases. An old legend from the area, about a malevolent creature referred to as the “Soul Eater“, is resurfacing when the town also gets plagued by several violent and gruesome deaths which apparently defy explanation. Franck de Roland, captain in the national gendarmerie, comes to investigate the missing children’s cases, and ends up together with police superior Elizabeth Guardiano who is investigation some of the recent murders. They do not get together all that well at first, but once it becomes obvious that both the murders and the missing children cases are in some way linked together, they need to cooperate.
The Soul Eater (Le Mangeur d’Âmes) is a French horror thriller from 2024, directed by Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, known for their impressive debut Inside (2007) and other movies like Livide (2011) and The Deep House (2021). The movie is based on a novel from 2021, called “Le Mangeur d’âmes“ by Alexis Laipsker. The French duo have undoubtedly made a mixed bag of entries in the horror genre, where they started off with a solid debut but have also had some releases which didn’t hold up as strongly (like the Leatherface movie from 2017). This movie is a bit different from any of their previous entries as it’s more a standard thriller than a horror movie, despite the trailer more or less leading you on to suspect some kind of supernatural flick.
On surface level The Soul Eater doesn’t offer something especially unique or truly unsettling, but the setup is quite good and the sleepy little mountain town works well for establishing the right tone. It’s a place where you can easily imagine the people creating their own folklore and myths, surrounded by mountains and endless forests. The isolated location makes for some decent scenery as well, and you get a believable feeling of how this town has kept to themselves without much intervention from outsiders. And it’s in places like those that all kinds of bad shit can start to happen, of course. Like any decent mystery thriller, the secrets are unfolding gradually, and while it did have a few pacing issues towards the latter part, I never found myself bored.
Some may have hoped that Bustillo and Maury would get back into their old tracks with this new release, and thus it may come as a bit of a letdown that this is more a crime thriller than outright horror. It’s pretty fine for what it is, though, and it does have a creepy build-up regarding the mystery and a nice setting. Overall TheSoul Eater is a pretty good murder mystery thriller, and while it’s not having very strong horror elements it stands as a decent release from the French duo. It still seems like we’re a long way from expecting another move in the same vein as Inside from them, though…
Directors: Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury Writers: Annelyse Batrel, Ludovic Lefebvre Country & year: France/Belgium, 2024 Original title: Le mangeur d’âmes Actors: Virginie Ledoyen, Paul Hamy, Sandrine Bonnaire, Francis Renaud, Malik Zidi, Cameron Bain, Lya Oussadit-Lessert, Chloé Coulloud IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt28821588/
Vidar the Vampire is the first, and for the time being, the last vampire flick from Norway. A low-budget independent production that came and went in 2017. Yes, we cavemen gnomes have come a long way, haven’t we. And later this year, we’ll have our first sea monster flick with Kraken. Skål!
The film starts with a local news report by the broadcast company NDK (Norsk DrittKringkasting) that tells us that a Satanic ritual has occurred in the middle of the God sacred bible belt in Norway, at a place called Jæren, a middle-of-nowhere land not so far from Stavanger (which also happens to be the hometown of Horror Ghouls) . Then we cut to our man, Vidar (Thomas Aske Berg), a skinny guy in his early 30s with a thick Burt Reynolds mustache and dressed in a silver protective suit as he starts a session with his psychiatrist. And he also wears sunglasses. Not because he’s got a severe hangover, but because he’s Vidar the Vampire. He’s frustrated and ready to tell his life’s story, a deep glory rabbit hole that will even get the shrink raising his eyebrows.
Like any therapy session, we start from the beginning where we see Vidar as a young boy as he lives with his strict religious mom at the farm we saw earlier in the news report. He does most of the work at the farm while he gets bullied by some classmates because he’s a loner and not able to get a girlfriend. We jump twenty years forward where Vidar is still stuck on the farm with no girlfriend, friends or future aspirations where the days consist of cleaning pigsties while his mom lies in bed and chewing pills. The only form of dopamine is hidden in Playboy magazines in his small, cramped bedroom. Vidar prays every night to get away from here, and one holy night, he gets heard. Hallelujah! And now it’s where it starts to get a little weird. We have a weird moment with a succubus before, one night, he finally meets the Savior himself in the barn. And here comes the big shocker: it appears that God is actually Satan. That’s how blasphemous we can get in modern times, I guess. After Vidar gives him a blowjob and swallows the unholy juice, he becomes a vampire, of some sort.
And there’s no surprise that things doesn’t get better for Vidar from here on. His God-fearing mom makes Vidar meet an evangelist in the local church in hope to exorcise him. Doesn’t go that well either. Even more crazy shit happens, and nothing can prepare Vidar for when he finally gets to break free from the isolated farm life to dive into the nightlife of urban Stavanger.
So, yeah, It’s crystal clear what the film is really about: a satirical middle-finger to Christianity, a statement that feels more fifty years-or so too late, and was already ridiculously outdated in 2017. If Vidar the Vampire was made in the 1970s, or even in the 1980s, the film would surely stir some controversy before it would be banned completely, and be regarded as an exploitation cult-classic years later. The filmmakers would also probably be put in jail for violation of the blasphemy law. I’m not kidding. A harmless, silly comedy such as Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979) was banned in Norway for over a decade, and that should speak for itself. Things have changed radically since then with the rise of black metal bands in the early 90s, church burnings and Playboy, which was upgraded with porn on VHS, first imported from Sweden, of course. Good times. Hail Satan.
But the film is more than just poking fun of religion and clowns like Bob Larson. Chronic loneliness is the red thread here as we follow Vidar from one dire scenario to the next where things go from bad to worse, and he loses himself into an empty and hopeless existence of pure black-pilled nihilism. He walks around the streets of Stavanger at night in a farm suit while he tries to score, where he’s already completely damaged and a lost case. He becomes more desperate as his bloodlust also rises and he needs as much pussy as he needs the red human syrup. How about both? He stalks a young woman after closing time to her apartment where he chews her pussy and slurps her dry of period blood after she’s blacked-out. He almost swallows a tampon. Yum. This woman’s name is listed as “Drunk Cunt“ in the end credits (yes, in English for whatever reason). He then gets chased by her pimp as Vidar runs through the back alleys buck naked. We shouldn’t sympathize with a rapist, but still. It’s tragic, cringe, absurd, artsy at some times, and morbidly amusing to say the least, also much thanks to some solid acting and likewise dialogue. To lighten the mood, the film is filled with the most depressive and monotone folk songs that just make you want to kill yourself. Rest in peace in advance.
Vidar the Vampire is overall a weird and unique film, plain and simple, that will appeal to smaller audience as the vampire elements is used more as metaphors where the big question lies: is he really a vampire or just a raving mad incel who’s met the breaking point? And then of course we have the Norwegian language with some inside-jokes. If you can handle subtitles, the film is released on Blu-ray in America by Dread Central/DiabolikDVD. So have yourself a Drunk Cunt and enjoy the misery.
Writers and directors: Thomas Aske Berg, Fredrik Waldeland Country & year: Norway, 2017 Original title: VampyrVidar Actors: Kathrine Jünger Ims, Thomas Aske Berg, Marit Sanden, Sigve Aasland, Ingvar Skretting, Kim Sønderholm, Ruben Jonassen, Martha Kristine Kåstad, Astrid Braut Øksnevad, Balder Scheen Jacobsen IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6147514/
The Kyiv Seminary (a college that trains students to be priests, rabbis, or ministers) are sending their students home for vacation. Three of them decide to get piss drunk and ends up lost in the countryside in the middle of the night. When they see an old farmhouse, they ask the old woman who lives there if they can spend the night. She agrees, but her condition is that they sleep in separate areas of the farm. One of the students, Khoma Brutus, is placed in the barn. Later, the old hag tries to seduce him, which ends up with him getting hypnotized and the hag rides on his back like he was a horse. Weirdly enough, it isn’t until she also makes them both levitate that he realizes that she must be a witch. Huh! Who would’ve guessed! He ends up attacking her by violently hitting her with a stick, and then she suddenly turns into a beautiful young woman. Terrified, he runs away and back to the seminary, where he later gets the news that a wealthy man’s dying daughter has requested for Khoma himself to come and say prayers for her soul. I guess there’s no big surprise who this girl turns out to be. Anyway, she ends up dying before he arrives, but he will stand vigil and pray for her soul for the next three nights. In the chapel where the dead girl’s corpse lies, he starts praying and every night the girl wakes up, trying to get him while he’s protecting himself by standing inside a sacred circle he draws by using chalk. Can Khoma get through all three nights without the witch getting him in the end? Well, if she doesn’t, maybe all the vodka will…
Viy (Spirit of Evil) is a Soviet Gothic horror fantasy film from 1967, directed by Konstantin Yershow and Georgi Kropachyov, and it was the first Soviet-era horror film to be officially released in the USSR. It is based on a story by the same name, written by Nikolai Gogol, which also inspired Mario Bava’s Black Sunday.
The synopsis for this movie may sound rather straight-forward, but damn…it really is so weird at times, and starts off rather slow and fails a bit with keeping you fully engaged. In between the strange supernatural elements, the protagonist and the other people around him are mostly walking around getting totally sozzled on vodka or whatever the hell they’re drinking, while singing songs and goofing around. Khoma is pretty much constantly hammered during the day, and then fighting off the undead witch and whatever she summons at night, that’s pretty much the flow of what is happening here.
The movie saves up the best for last, where Khoma’s final night is where all the good stuff starts happening. This is where the witch finally summons the film’s namesake, the Viy, which is a large humanoid creature. This was actually played by a guy who was a circus artist, because the costume was so heavy they cast him for his strength. In addition, all kinds of other hell-spawn is summoned and we get some really surreal, fun and inventive scenes here.
Overall, Viy is a fantasy horror movie that feels more like a folklore-fairytale than outright horror, but amusing enough in its own way and with a pretty bonkers finale.
Viy was released on DVD in 2001 by Image Entertainment, and then re-released in 2005 by Hanzibar Films. Severin Films released it on Blu-ray in 2019, and it’s also available on several streaming sites, including Tubi.
Directors: Konstantin Ershov, Georgiy Kropachyov Writers: Konstantin Ershov, Nikolay Gogol, Georgiy Kropachyov, Aleksandr Ptushko Country & year: Russia, 1967 Actors: Leonid Kuravlyov, Natalya Varley, Aleksey Glazyrin, Nikolay Kutuzov, Vadim Zakharchenko IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062453/
A young girl named Ellen is filled with a soul-crushing loneliness, causing her to pray in despair and desperately seeking comfort from anyone…or anything. Unfortunately for her, her prayers are answered. Then, some years later in 1838, she’s happily married to a man named Thomas Hutter, and they live in the town of Wisborg, Germany. Her husband works as a solicitor and estate agent, but he’s struggling a bit financially and hopes to achieve some financial security for them both. His employer, Herr Knock, tells Hutter that there is a reclusive and eccentric count in Transylvania, Count Orlok, who wants to buy Schloss Grünewald, and asks Hutter to travel to the count’s place and seal the deal. Upon hearing this, Ellen is terrified and begs him to stay, but he dismisses her and heads off to the Carpathian Mountains while his wife stays with his wealthy friend, Friedrich Harding and his wife Anna. When he arrives in Transylvania, the locals try to warn him off, but of course he doesn’t pay heed to their superstitions. The evening he arrives at the castle, he meets the intimidating Orlok, dines with him and pretty much wants to finalize the purchase of Schloss Grünewald as soon as possible and get out of there. Instead, Hutter finds himself a victim to Orlok’s bloodlust. Finally managing his escape by falling out of a window and into the river below, he is later found by a nun who brings him to a nearby church where they start nursing him back to health. Meanwhile, Orlok’s coffin is on board a ship sailing towards Wisborg (and Ellen) bringing with him plague-infested rats and death.
Nosferatu is another remake/reimagined version of the 1922 silent movie by F. W. Murnau, a film that was a little too closely inspired by Bram Stoker’s Dracula novel from 1897 and almost ended up as lost media when Stoker’s widow took legal action and a judge ordered all copies to be destroyed. Thankfully, some survived, and there has since been several remakes and spinoffs made: Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) by Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski as Nosferatu, Nosferatu in Venice (1988) also starring Klaus Kinski as Nosferatu and originally intended to be a sequel to Herzog’s 1979 film and co-directed by Kinski together with Augusto Caminito, Shadow of the Vampire (2000) which is a movie based on the making of the 1922 film where Willem Dafoe plays Nosferatu/Max Schreck, and a 2023 crowd-funded remake with Doug Jones as Nosferatu. Not to mention all references in other media, even including Spongebob.
Robert Eggers had his directorial debut with The Witch (2015), and have since continued to impress with his blend of horror, mythology and folklore, which can also be seen in The Lighthouse (2019). A reimagining of Nosferatu done by this guy sounds like every folklore-horror lover’s dream. And while honoring the source material, he also adds his own flavour to it of course.
The development for Eggers version began in 2015, where he was very much thinking of it as a passion project. Many actors have been cast and re-cast since then, where Skarsgård was originally cast as Thomas Hutter, but then re-cast as Count Orlok (quite the change). To prepare for his role, he lost a significant amount of weight and worked with Icelandic opera singer Ásgerður Júníusdóttir so he could lower his vocal range. The prosthetic makeup took up to six hours a day to apply, and needless to say…he’s completely unrecognizable in this film. While you could clearly see some of his traits beneath his Pennywise makeup in IT (2017), he’s totally unrecognizable here. No wonder he considered his Orlok-transformation experience as “conjuring pure evil“. His looks as Orlok was also kept a secret prior to the film’s release, making a lot of people wonder what the result would be. And while some people found his moustache off-putting for some reason (sure, his looks differ a lot from the goblin/rat-like Orlok from the original) it’s easy to see what Eggers went for here, making him look more like an actual ancient Romanian count. Eggers have deliberately gone back to several of the actual folklore aspects regarding vampires and vampirism, where they were quite literally walking undead corpses.
The filming took place primarily in Prague at Barrandov Studios, and they were also shooting on location at the 14th-century Rožmitál pod Třemšínem Castle in Rožmitál pod Třemšínem, and Pernštejn Castle (also used as the location for Herzog’s Nosferatu the Vampyre), Prague’s Invalidovna complex, and some exterior shots were captured in Corvin Castle in Romania, which is actually the castle where Vlad Dracula was briefly imprisoned. Great use of locations, without a doubt. The film was also shot on 35mm in color by cinematographer Jarin Blaschke,using special filters to adapt the desaturated look reminiscent of 19th century Romanticism. Another fun tidbit is that 5000 live rats were used in this film, and none of them were harmed or lost. There’s one scene featuring Willem Dafoe where he had to work with 2000 rats around him, which he didn’t mind as he’s an animal lover but admitted they could be a little unpredictable but were “great acting partners“. No musophobia to be spotted here, at least!
There’s certainly been put great attention to details in Nosferatu, with costumes, locations, sets and cinematography. Despite the film being dark and moody, it’s also manifestly gorgeous where it’s gracefully blending its grotesqueries with beauty. Regarding performances, I have to give praise to Lily-Rose Depp in her role as Ellen, she does a formidable job with her role as the haunted and possessed woman. Willem Dafoe is fun to watch as the Van Helsing-esque occult expert, and it’s especially fun to see him in this movie since he played Max Schreck/Count Orlok in the 2000 movie Shadow of the Vampire. The actors are all doing great, but there’s no doubt that the most impressive performance comes from Skarsgård himself where the transformation is utterly radical and he really does go all in. I have to admit, though, that I gave some involuntary chuckles when he first started speaking with the deep, slow, raspy voice where he sounds like he’s in desperate need of an inhaler. It took some getting used to, but once I did, I thought it suited the character pretty well, especially with how he otherwise looks like a literal decaying corpse. I also couldn’t really shake it from my mind how my brother, upon seeing a picture reveal of Skarsgård’s Orlok version, said he looked like “a grotesque Dr. Eggman“. Yeah…couldn’t really unsee it afterwards…thanks, bro.
There’s no doubt that the Eggers version of Nosferatu is a visual, stylish experience layered with ominous atmosphere and overt sexual undertones. It many ways it differs from both the original and its other remakes, with elements that will be enjoyable for some and off-putting for others, but we loved it through and through!
Writer and director: Robert Eggers Country & year: USA/UK/Hungary, 2024 Actors: Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Willem Dafoe, Emma Corrin, Ralph Ineson, Simon McBurney, Adéla Hesová, Milena Konstantinova, Stacy Thunes IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5040012/
Arkin O´Brien is a handyman who is working for the Chase family. He’s a former convict, and his wife is in debt to loan sharks who wants to get paid due by midnight. Arkin then desperately makes a plan: he decides to steal a valuable ruby from the Chase home. After all, the family was going on a vacation so the house would be empty, so this would be like stealing candy from a baby, right? No such luck, though. While there, he finds that someone else got there before him, and they’re not after the ruby or any other valuables…he sees the father of the family getting dragged down into the basement by a masked man. Not only that, but when Arkin tries to call 911, he discovers that the entire house has been booby-trapped and rigged with all kinds of deadly devices. Even the windows have been boarded up and lined with razors. When he finds out that the entire Chase family has been captured by this masked madman, he discovers that the little girl of the family has been able to hide. He decides to try and save her, despite feeling like a fly trapped in a spider’s dangerous net.
