horror movie review – Page 7

Guinea Pig: Devil’s Experiment (1985)

Posted on July 25, 2023August 1, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

In the mid-1980’s the amateur filmmaker Satoru Ogura wanted to shock and disgust with a series of grotesque films. Sounds cool enough. His first (and only) film was Devil’s Experiment, a 40 minute “faux snuff film“ which became the start of the notorious, bizarre, goofy and overhyped Guinea Pig film series.

In the Devil’s Experiment we witness a young woman being tortured by a group of people while someone filming the whole act handheld in found-footage style. The torture happens in several stages/segments. They start soft by smacking her in the face while being tied to a chair. After she’s been bruised up they kick and throw her around the floor like a rag doll. In the next segment she sits on a rotating chair as they are spinning her a hundred times or so, which seems more like a harmless prank than torture, but whatever. They shove a bottle of whiskey down her throat to make her puke so we can go over to the next segment.

And already some minutes in there ain’t a single moment of realism here and I have a hard time to believe that anyone who saw this on VHS in the 80s thought they were witnessing a real snuff, because … bro, c’mon, seriously… This is amateur hour-boolshit on its lowest to such extent that it just made me shake my head and chuckle. This shit was actually promoted as a real snuff film when it circulated on the VHS market in Japan, you see, and still to this day it rises concerned questions from naive numbskulls if this is authentic or not.

Then there’s the acting, and oh my lord, haha …

The lady who portrays the victim couldn’t care less. She seems bored most of the time and acts more as if she’s sitting on a vibrating chair on The Howard Stern Show while she makes some cute moaning sounds such as:

uuhh … iuuing … uhh … tahh … iiimghh …

Then they peel her skin and rips off her fingernails with a plier. An her only reaction is:

ahh … ehh … uhn …

There’s also a moment where she smiles. Director Ogura auditioned a bunch of women who was eager for this role and this was the best he could pick.

In another segment they pour some frying oil over her while she’s tied to a bed. Her reaction is some orgasm and growling sounds. She’s either the worst actress of all time or she’s supposed to have a larger pain threshold than Rambo. I’d guess my first assumption.

They also toss some fresh animal intestines on her while they laugh and giggle like a bunch of schoolyard bullies. Watching blurry still images of this scene would make every gorehound cream in their pants and assume she’d been brutally butchered up, but don’t get fooled.

The scene with the eye at the end was well done though, I give it that. But besides from that the whole package is so bad, sloppy, tame as a newborn duckling and downright laughably inept that it actually makes Hostel look like a legit snuff film straight from the deepest dark web. Woof.

Director: Satoru Ogura
Original title: Ginî piggu – Akuma no jikken
Country & year: Japan, 1985
Actors: A group of uncredited amateurs
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0161634/

Insidious: The Red Door (2023)

Posted on July 21, 2023August 4, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

It’s now been nine years since the Lambert family had their paranormal troubles and decided to use hypnosis on Josh and Dalton so they could forget about everything and try to live normal lives. Now Josh is divorced from his wife Renai, his mother Lorraine has recently died, and his relationship with Dalton has gone down the gutter. In other words, nine years later things aren’t exactly that great. Josh tries to bond a little with his son when driving him off to college, but everything just ends with a fiery argument instead. And of course, both Josh and Dalton start to experience paranormal things again, and after Dalton accidentally starts wandering into The Further, not really knowing what he’s doing and oblivious of his astral projection abilities, his roommate shows him a YouTube clip of Specs and Tucker talking about the theme. And when Dalton sees a clip of Elise talking about The Further, everything starts to slowly unveil.

Insidious: The Red Door is the fifth installment of the Insidious franchise, and it’s directed by Patrick Wilson (who plays the role as Josh in the movies) in his directorial debut. It is a direct sequel to the second film in the franchise, Insidious: Chapter 2, which was released in 2013. James Wan serves as producer together with Jason Blum, and it’s based on a story by Leigh Whannell and Scott Teems. The movie has received rather mixed reviews, and honestly, this one feels like the weakest installment and unfortunately comes off as very sparse with actual scares, which have been replaced with awkward college-themed humour, family drama, and trauma issues. There’s some really cringey scenes at a party featuring a dude dressed up in diapers, maybe the youngsters found this hilarious and a comic relief but I guess I’m too old for such shit. Still, I have to add that the movie does have some nice ideas though, like the college part of The Further which includes the puking ghost of a student that died at the frat house, and the scene in the MRI has a really good build-up and was solidly made.

Now, every movie in the franchise have offered us some demonic baddies of various kinds, and what was missing here is the focus on some villainous entity like in the previous movies. There’s the Lipstick-Face demon, but we barely get to see him. I think it could have redeemed the movie a bit if we actually got to see more of this main villain in the series, and his theater-like room with marionettes and a gramophone playing Tiptoe through the Tulips by Tiny Tim. Speaking of which, when we actually get to this area later in the movie, and the gramophone starts playing, I got in the mood for that exact song to relive some of the feeling of the first movie…but instead a different song started playing. And while Tiptoe Through the Tulips could be heard a little while later, I’d found myself already thrown off the mood. The Lipstick-Face demon scenes were used too sparsely to have much payoff, unfortunately.

With a budget of $16 million, it’s now looking at a worldwide gross of $126 million, which does make Insidious: The Red Door a financial success at least. But whether this is the final nail in the Insidious coffin and having the red door locked up for good, remains to be seen. If you’re a fan of the franchise and would like to see the (probable) end of the story, it’s likely worth a watch, and if you’ve been watching the previous movies and noticed the gradual decline, it won’t come as much of a surprise that this last installment isn’t exactly a masterpiece. As a directorial debut from Patrick Wilson it’s not all that bad, but it’s unfortunate that the franchise had already come to the point where it’s outstayed its welcome, and with nothing new or exciting to add it fell a bit flat. It’s nice to have seen it if you want the conclusion to the franchise, but overall this one’s probably more fun for the younger audience (who sat screaming, gasping and jumping in the seats when we watched it).

Director: Patrick Wilson
Writers: Leigh Whannell, Scott Teems
Country & year: USA, Canada, 2023
Actors: Ty Simpkins, Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Sinclair Daniel, Hiam Abbass, Andrew Astor, Juliana Davies, Steve Coulter, Peter Dager, Justin Sturgis, Joseph Bishara
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt13405778/

Insidious: The Last Key (2018)

Posted on July 18, 2023July 21, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

The year is 1953, and we meet Elise Rainier as a kid. She lives in Five Keys, New Mexico, with her parents and younger brother. One night, Elise and her brother encounter a ghost in their own bedroom, and their abusive father won’t have any of that superstitious bullshit, so he canes Elise and locks her down in the basement. There, Elise finds a red doorway and ends up getting possessed by a demonic spirit, and this demon kills her mother. After this brief introduction into a part of Elise’s rather messed up childhood, we travel decades forwards in time and end up in California in 2010, where Elise is working as a paranormal investigator together with her colleagues Specs and Tucker. She gets a call from a man named Ted Garza, saying he’s experiencing paranormal events in his house. When Elise realizes that the house he’s living in is her childhood home, she travels there in order to help this man. And back at this place, she is not only revisiting old bad memories, but also the demon that killed her mother which is known as Keyface.

Insidious: The Last Key is the fourth installment in this supernatural horror film franchise. It’s yet again written by Leigh Whannell, and this time it’s directed by Adam Robitel (who earlier directed The Taking of Deborah Logan and later Escape Room). Just like the third film, the story is focusing on Elise and her paranormal investigator group, and it’s no doubt that Lin Shaye’s performance as Elise is what holds the majority of the move up. Once again we’re presented to a big bad demon villain, this time in the form of Keyface whose fingers transform into keys. But aside from the demon itself, Elise’s childhood was also plagued by a parent who’d rather beat you instead of supporting and helping you, plus there’s a little bit of serial killer mystery thrown in for good measure. There’s also the comic relief from Elise’s two companions, Specs and Tucker, who pretty much come off as immature dolts for most of the time.

While we get a further glimpse into the characters and especially Elise, since the story here is about her own past, it’s unfortunately become a little evident that the franchise is about to run out of steam. While there are enough creepy atmosphere and ideas to hold it up, you can’t help but feeling that it’s been a gradual albeit not dramatic decline since the first movie. Now, of course this is normal in most franchises, so in the whole it’s still been going relatively strong all things considered. Also, in this movie everything ties up to the first story, which is nice as it gives a certain hope that they’ll conclude the series sooner than later rather than continue creating sequel-prequels until the whole franchise would end up totally watered out. Insidious: The Last Key is by no means a bad movie, though, and has enough effective scenes to be enjoyable enough, but I’d say the movie is mostly one for fans of the franchise.

Director: Adam Robitel
Writer: Leigh Whannell
Country & year: USA, Canada, 2018
Actors: Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson, Kirk Acevedo, Caitlin Gerard, Spencer Locke, Josh Stewart, Tessa Ferrer, Aleque Reid, Ava Kolker, Pierce Pope, Bruce Davison
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt5726086/

Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)

Posted on July 14, 2023July 21, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

The story takes place three years before the case with the Lambert haunting, and the demonologist Elise Rainier has retired. She is contacted by a teenage girl, Quinn, who wants to contact her deceased mother who died a year ago. Reluctantly, Elise agrees, but after sensing a malevolent force she urges Quinn not to try contacting her mother again. Later, Quinn sees a strange figure waving at her from some distance in the middle of the street, and while distracted by this mysterious person, she walks out on the street and gets hit by a car, and ends up in the hospital with both legs broken. Afterwards, she’s stuck at home with her father and brother, and while disabled and vulnerable she starts experiencing paranormal activities, which includes visions of a malicious spirit wearing an oxygen mask. When things start escalating, her father contacts Elise, hoping she can help his daughter from whatever seems to be after her.

Insidious: Chapter 3 is the third installment in the Insidious franchise, and is both written and directed by Leigh Whannell in his directorial debut. The film is a prequel to the first films. While taking us out of the main story of the Lambert family, and instead shift the focus over to Elise and her companions Specs and Tucker, it makes for some new ideas and new characters. Having a disabled girl at the mercy of a dangerous entity makes for some really tense scenes lead by good setup and acting, which are all well utilized in making us feel the girl’s despair and helplessness while being stalked and tortured. There’s a lot of creepy atmosphere and genuine chills here, and with a new entity simply referred to as “the man that can’t breathe” the franchise manages to create yet another villain who, while not quite as iconic as the Lipstick-Face Demon and the Black Bride, works pretty well and is distinguishable and frightening.

While the first two movies had to be viewed consecutively in order to get the best viewing experience (otherwise, the second film would just feel confusing as it directly continues the story from the first), this movie actually stands well alone on its own feet and doesn’t even require any knowledge of the first two in order to properly enjoy it. That being said, I’d still recommend watching them consecutively, as knowing a bit more about Elise and her companions is likely to heighten the investment in the story.

Insidious: Chapter 3 is solid third installment in the franchise, with further looks into The Further, creepy-looking ghoulish entities and the overall eerie atmosphere the movies are known for. While neither of the two sequels have been on par with the first movie, they’re still fairly good and at this stage the franchise is yet to have worn out its welcome.

Writer and director: Leigh Whannell
Country & year: USA, Canada, UK, 2013
Actors: Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott, Angus Sampson, Leigh Whannell, Lin Shaye, Tate Berney, Michael Reid MacKay, Steve Coulter, Hayley Kiyoko, Corbett Tuck, Tom Fitzpatrick
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3195644/

Insidious (2010)

Posted on July 7, 2023July 21, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

Renai and Josh are a married couple with two sons, Dalton and Foster, and an infant daughter named Cali. They move into their new home, and there things quickly ends with disaster: after Dalton sneaks into the attic one evening, he inexplicably slips into a coma. The days, weeks and months passes by, with no sign of Dalton waking up. Despairing while trying to keep their hopes up, they take their son back home from the hospital to care for him there, and then they start experiencing frightening things that appear to be paranormal. Everything reaches its peak when Renai finds a bloody inhuman-looking handprint on the sheet of Dalton’s bed. Convinced that their house is haunted, they decide to move, only to find that the paranormal activity continues to happen in their new home as well. Sometimes, it’s not the house that’s haunted…

Insidious is a supernatural horror film from 2010, directed by James Wan and written by Leigh Whannell. James Wan previously got his foot into the horror genre with his Saw film from 2004, a film which he admitted being very proud of, but he also felt all the violence and gore put some people off from working with him. Thus, he decided to make Insidious to prove that he could also make a horror movie that is not focused on violence. Although he did, actually, make another horror movie called Dead Silence in 2007, but this was a largely overlooked film and received rather poor reception, which is a shame, because it’s not that bad. However, you can get a little idea of how this movie harbours a “could’ve been” scenario, as screenwriter Whannell revealed in a blog post that the film was an “extreme, coal-face lesson in what not to do“, where he talks about the origins of the film within the context of the Hollywood film industry, where they had to play by the rules of agents and script-doctors. Insidious was made independently, which probably saved the movie from Hollywood’s meddlesome and destructive claws.

The movie starts off with seeming like your typical haunted house movie, and there’s enough atmosphere and creepy, subtle scenes that gradually builds in an insidious way. So yeah, there you have it, the title pretty much explains the movie’s progression (although it was originally planned to be called something else. More about that later). There are more than a few truly effective scenes that actually manages to deliver a scare, and expertly used angles, color and music achieves the perfect mood. The music score was composed by Joseph Bishara, who also plays the demon in the movie. They wanted to go for a score with mixing some “weird piano bangs” and “scratchy violin”, and there were a total of thirty-three violins used for the theme music. Wow.

Going from the subtlety of the classical haunted-house vibe, the movie veers and jumps straight into the rabbit hole when “The Further” is introduced, with the medium Elise (Lin Shaye). This is some kind of dimension that houses the souls of the damned, and appears trippy as hell. Originally, the movie was actually planned to be called The Further too, but it almost goes without saying that Insidious is a way better choice of title. This dimension/heaven-hell-limbo or whatever one should call it, leaves a lot to be explained, but the mystery of what it is exactly is pretty much what is needed to make it work. It gives the movie a mystery and that extra flavour of something of its own, saving it from ending up as a typical derivative effort in the haunted house category. It adds a demonic and otherworldly element into the mix, and there’s a certain balance here between the serious paranormal parts and the spookily fun horror parts, which could have ended up as a disaster had it been made by the wrong people (or with any Hollywood interference) but instead ended up as gold since it was made by the right ones in the way they wanted the movie to be. It’s both scary, creepy and slightly amusing. Watching a ghost boy dancing to Tiny Tim’s version of “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” adds both an outlandish and uncanny feeling for sure!

Insidious became very much a success, and apparently filled a vacuum of sorts for supernatural horror movies that actually manage to come off as scary for a lot of people. It also includes some quite distinctive characters among the entities/demons, giving us actual recognizable villains for a change. The success not only gave enough fuel for more sequels/prequels, but also other franchises like The Conjuring and Annabelle. In the Insidious franchise, we are looking at a total of 5 films so far with the newest one being shown in theaters across the world at the moment.

Director: James Wan
Writer: Leigh Whannell
Country & year: USA, Canada, 2010
Actors: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson, Barbara Hershey, Andrew Astor, Joseph Bishara, Philip Friedman
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1591095/

Puppet Master 4 (1993)

Posted on July 4, 2023October 6, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

And now it’s getting really silly, if it hasn’t gotten already. In Puppet Master 4 we get our ass back to the Bodega Bay Inn with a new timeline where we get introduced to yet more meat suit balloons. And like the previous film, the puppets are the good guys. So, who’s the baddies here you’d ask? Say HELLO to the demon Lord Sutekh, who’s not some obscure former member of the metal band Gwar, but the ruler of Hell, the Prime Evil himself. The intro sequence where we see his stark color contrasted underground chamber as he sits on his throne surrounded with the most expensive Halloween decorations the budget allowed, not to mention the several piles of human skulls stacked around, surely grabs one’s attention. And as we go back and forth to this set, it’s the most memorable aspect of the film just by how over the top, cheesy and cartoonish it is. It’s something straight out from an 80s Saturday Morning Cartoon, and as a kid of the 80s myself there’s certainly some nostalgic strings to be pulled here, no pun intended.

Meanwhile at Bodega Bay Inn we meet the young scientist Rick who, among his girlfriend and some other friends, discover the secrets of Toulon’s work with the puppets and the Elixir of Life, the whole package. A lot of nonsensical BS happens with an unfocused script with as much direction like a Russian drunk driver on a regular thursday afternoon, but the premise is that the demon lord we saw in the beginning wants the elixir so he can do whatever. Since he can’t leave his domain he sends a couple of Totems, or just simply Demon Puppets, to invade Bodega Bay Inn and get the treasure. Toulon’s puppets have to save the day.

Toulon pops up here and there as a bizarre hologram as he gives some advice. We have some quick lackluster kills with some leftover cranberry juice as blood. The human characters are just meh and generic. I was hoping to see more of the demon lord and if he was ever to leave the depths and enter the surface to raise hell and mayhem. Never did, and that’s my biggest disappointment when they could do more of this character. Maybe it was a matter of budget which I would guess they blew most of on the demon lord’s set-design, or all the five who wrote the script couldn’t come to any agreements on what to do with him.

The final act is the most entertaining when it’s basically Puppets vs. Hellpuppets. Naive, dumb, innocent fun with a great dose of lighthearted puppet action, some pretty decent stop-motion and lively camerawork. Probably more fun for the kids and given that’s there’s no tits or other sleazy nudity here, and the gore is almost non existent, this is as close it can get to being family friendly. There’s also a weird Frankenstein reference thrown in here which leads to a robopuppet shooting lightning from his head. And the good old classic hand-drawn lightning effects will never, ever get old.

And then the film ends with a to be continued …

… and the film could just as well have ended there because there isn’t much of a continuation in Puppet Master 5 which was made simultaneously with this one. It’s the same movie all over again with little to no pay off. More scenes of puppet action while the demon lord just goofs around in his underworld basement sniffing his own sulfur-smelling farts. The fifth film was also promoted as The Final Chapter, and ha-ha, there’s only ten more films. As a first time watcher of this franchise I was a little surprised it was able to barely keep afloat to this point, because it goes straight down the toilet from here on… and I just leave it at that. All films (except for two) are available at fullmoonfeatures.com. Have fun and good luck.

Director: Jeff Burr
Writers: Todd Henschell, Steven E. Carr, Jo Duffy, Douglas Aarniokoski, Keith Payson
Country & year: USA, 1993
Actors: Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Tunneler, Six Shooter, Decapitron, Gordon Currie, Chandra West, Ash Adams, Teresa Hill, Guy Rolfe, Felton Perry, Stacie Randall, Michael Shamus Wiles, Dan Zukovic
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0107899/

Puppet Master II (1990)

Posted on June 27, 2023October 6, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

We’re in the gloomy smoke machine-filled Shady Oaks Cemetery where the puppets pour some green liquid on André Toulon’s grave to finally resurrect their beloved master. After this atmospheric and eerie opening, we get introduced to the new characters, a group of young ghost hunters who are sent to the Bodega Inn to investigate the murder of Megan Gallagher, the wife of the previous owner.

One of the investigators go missing after getting kidnapped by two puppets and, ah shit, here we go again. There’s a weird side-plot with a redneck couple that lives in a shack not so far from the hotel, and they’re there only to get body counted. A soft-spoken man of mystery with a Romanian accent shows up at the hotel who looks like a mix of The Invinsible Man and Héctor from the Spanish Sci-Fi thriller Timecrimes. And who could that possibly be and why is he so interested in collecting brain tissues as people at the hotel starts to get killed? Huh.. Only Scooby-Doo would know…

Although this could also easily be a remake of the first one, there are some new ideas here to make some progress in the franchise which later goes more back-and-forth in the timeline. We have some flashbacks as we dip more into the lore and backstory of André Toulon and how he and his wife came across the Elixir of Life somewhere in Egypt. The characters are mostly disposable meat balloons with their own personal drama, but they’re at least far more awake and in presence than they were in the first one.

But the star here is the new puppet Torch which, you’ve already guessed, torches his victims to hell with a flamethrower as a hand. Totally rad! And then we have a quick classic “paused movie moment“ with three seconds of bare tits. The kills are not to get too exited about. We have a lackluster scene with the Tunneller who drills the skull of one of the sleeping victims, some quick knifing from Blade and the only memorable one is a woman who gets burned alive by the Torch. There’s also a scene in broad daylight where some kid encounters Torch, which cuts off before he gets roasted. No dwarfs were available for body burn, I assume. Meh! Puppet Master II is overall entertaining as long as it’s going thanks to the mysterious villain, tasty gothic visuals, gloomy and light-dimming atmosphere, the puppets themselves, catchy tunes from composer Richard Band (brother of Charles Band) but otherwise, not much that will stick to the memory.

Director: David Allen
Writers: Charles Band, David Pabian, David Schmoeller
Country & year: USA, 1990
Actors: Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Tunneler, Leech Woman, Torch, Djinn, Mephisto, Elizabeth Maclellan, Collin Bernsen, Steve Welles, Greg Webb, Charlie Spradling, Jeff Celentano, Nita Talbot
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0100438/

The Swarm (1978)

Posted on June 20, 2023September 19, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

With titles such as Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973), Killer Bees (1974), The Savage Bees (1976), The Bees (1978) and Terror Out of the Sky (1978), we can fairly say that the 1970s was also the decade of the killer bees. While most of them were obscure TV movies, it was The Swarm that stood out, mainly because this was a big Hollywood studio film with as many Oscar winners as possible on the cast list, fronted by Michael Caine. And before Roland Emmerich and his Independence Day, which revived the disaster-film genre in the mid 90s, there was Irwin Allen. “Master of Disaster“ he was called in positive terms for the success of producing blockbusters like The Poseidon Adventure (1972) and The Towering Inferno (1974) which is regarded as the very first disaster-film. He also directed numerous TV series. So, in 1978, it was time to not only to produce, but also direct his first disaster feature with a big star cast and the most notable of all: 20 million bees!

The plot centers around Texas where a large legion of African killer bees have invaded the state. While the bees spread further into the country and starts terrorizing cities and leaving thousands of body counts, the scientist Dr. Bradford Crane (Michael Caine) is constantly on track to figure out a plan to stop them while fighting against the government. With him he has his trustworthy Dr. Walter Krim (Henry Fonda) to develop an antidote to the bee venom. We quickly learn that these bees are not to be underestimated as they’re capable of attacking military helicopters and plunging them to the ground in an explosion. A sight you don’t see everyday. So yeah, these bees are pissed as hell. We have a picnic scene where a young boy witnesses his parents getting swarmed right before his eyes. He isolates himself in the car, wipes the thick layer of bees on the front windshield and manages to escape by driving off to the nearest town. He later makes matters worse by going back to the area with some friends to throw molotovs at the swarm. It all escalates to the point where cities have to evacuate, which also leads to an infamous scene with a train and a chaotic climax with doomsday mayhem which includes flamethrowers and explosions.

And the question is: is this really as bad as its reputation, even being on the list of “worst films ever made“? Nah. On the technical aspects, the film is, for the most part, pretty solid although it has its stains. The script, however, and if not the pacing of its runtime of 156 minutes (judging Warner Archive’s Blu-ray), has a lot of issues. We have boring subplots with love affairs that go nowhere. Some people come and go and are never to be seen again. There’s some eye-rolling and wonky dialogue here as well, some of which are delivered as if this was an Adam West Batman movie. There’s a bunch of dry science talk, a lot of filler-scenes, which makes the film look more dated, clunky and overall an unfocused mess. The scenes where the stung victims hallucinate and see a big bee hoovering right in front of them looks just goofy, out-of-place and -again- dated like a public-domain 50s monster movie, while the film takes itself dead seriously. Not a masterpiece in any shape or form, but the bees alone makes it worth a watch.

Then we have Michael Caine’s character, who comes across like a stone-cold psychopath who would fit more as a sinister villain in a James Bond film. He always bears a duper-delight and smirks in the most inappropriate moments. His off-putting demeanor may be linked with the fact that this was one of Caine’s notorious list of “paycheck movies“ and he later claimed that it was the worst film he ever starred in. A-ha… He never saw Jaws: The Revenge, another paycheck, so that film doesn’t count. Sir Caine turned 90 recently, by the way. Cheers.

But the real stars of the film is the 20 million bees that got used and sacrificed. God bless and no wonder why they’re furious. Today all would be CGI, no question about it, but here we actually have sets with thousand of bees that swarms around actors and crew as they do their best to not have their mouth open. While there are some dated edges here, the scenes with the bee attacks looks as real as they can get and are quite spectacular, highly ambitiously made and is an unnerving sight. Even though 800,000 of them got their stingers removed, they couldn’t avoid to mix them with those who had the stingers intact which caused several actors to get stung. How anyone would sign up for something like this is beyond me. And the amount of children that’s involved must have parents that really hates them. We always hear about difficult filming conditions, especially from the pre-CGI era where most of the effects had to be shot on set but bruh… I refuse to believe that anyone involved would look back and say; yeah, being in that bee movie was such a fun time and I would do that again. You couldn’t even pay me a million. Mr. Not-The-Bees himself would agree (that meme just had to be shoved in here).

The Swarm was a massive flop and was ridiculed by the few critics that saw it. Producer and director Irwin Allen was so devastated by all the money he lost on the film that he refused to ever mention the film in future interviews. And besides the short 22-minutes making-of documentary on the Blu-ray there isn’t much insight to behold. At least the trivia section on IMDb can tell us that actor Michael Caine stated in an interview that during filming he thought the little yellow spots left by the bees on his clothing was honey, so he began to eat them, entirely unaware that what he was eating was actually bee feces. In other words: honey and bee poop tastes the same. Yummy.

Director: Irwin Allen
Writers: Arthur Herzog III, Stirling Silliphant
Country & year: USA, 1978
Actors: Michael Caine, Katharine Ross, Richard Widmark, Richard Chamberlain, Olivia de Havilland, Ben Johnson, Lee Grant, José Ferrer, Patty Duke, Henry Fonda & 20 million bees
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0078350/

Ed Gein: The Musical (2010)

Posted on June 16, 2023July 10, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

♫ ♪ Somebody Framed Meeeeeee ♪ …

– Shut up and quit singing!

Welcome to amateur hour. Today we take a look at Ed Gein: The Musical, a homemade micro-budget horror comedy made for shits n’giggles that was probably a fun time for all those involved. The rest of the world had to wait for ten whole years to finally witness a singing Ed Gein to be released on DVD.

The film starts straight to the point where Ed Gein enters Mary Hagan’s store and then shoots her with a shotgun. After the sinful act, we hear the first notes of Eddie as he sings (with the voice-over of Will Keizer, who wrote most of the songs).

♫ Oooooooooh no, I Did A Bad Thing … And Now They Are Coming For Meeee … There’s Nowhere To Hide … Ooooh Mama, I Did A Bad Thing ♪ …

Eddie takes the corpse to his shed with the second musical number while he chops up some limbs, titled Lonely Feeling, Lonely Reeling, and the energy is as electric as a Sunday evening at the local Bingo hall.

Ed gets arrested by the sheriff, suspected of the murder of Miss Hagan, and brought into the interrogation room. From here on, Ed tells his life story, filled with nothing but delusional fantasies as we dive into more zero-budget, amateur movie madness and two-notes of honky-tonk song numbers mixed with mainly acoustic guitar and not much of the basic understanding of how a musical works. The songs are completely forgettable and performed in the most bland, lifeless karaoke style with a static camera.

We see a quick flashback scene where a young Ed gets abused by his dad for having a picture of a half-naked lady. After getting whipped with the belt, Ed says: When I’m grown I won’t take this crap. When I’m grown I will be a handsome chap. Yeah, you heard that right. We then cut to the current Ed, dressed like a sleazy car-salesman as he sings… a rap-song. The cringe meter is already at its maximum, but it still manages to get worse. Because we haven’t seen the scene with Ed and his mom yet.

We see Ed in various scenarios. In one scene he’s in some hall with elderly people, he’s in the fakest-looking cemetery ever put on film, he sits in a bar, sings some duets with random chicks and more nonsensical buffoonery follows. We also see him in a sitcom setting where they forgot to add the laugh track. All filmed in blurry and out-of-focus images with the sense of filming in general as a blind, drunk sailor man who’s way past his bedtime. As for the comedy goes we laugh more at the film than with it, which is completely fine by me.

The only legit quality to point out is the eye-catching artwork on the DVD cover. And if you dig far enough you can find it at CD Universe. For more Ed Gein, check out Deranged (1974), Ed Gein (2000) and the graphic novel Did You Hear What Ed Gein Done? (2021).

Director: Steve Russell
Writer: Dan Davies
Country & year: USA, 2010
Actors: Dan Davies, Clifford Henry, Laurie Friedman-Fannin, Lucia Stevenson, M.J. Marsh, Cindy Yungwirth, James Fairchild, Barbra Alloy, Edie Amundsen, Charlie Bitter, Jason Buss
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt1562295/

The Cellar (2022)

Posted on June 13, 2023 by HorrorGhouls

Kiera and Brian Woods move into an old house with their two children, the teenage girl Ellie and the elementary boy Steven. Ellie, being a typical teenage girl is opposed to the move and is already missing her old place and her friends. However, Kiera and Brian moved to this place because of job opportunities, so that’s that. On their very first night in the old house, the couple must leave for work and leave their two children all alone, in a completely unfamiliar place. Yeah, great parenting right there. Ellie is of course dismayed that she is tasked with watching her younger brother on the very first night in the new house, and while Steven is up to his shenanigans he finds a secret room which includes an old Sonographe. Ellie starts playing it, only to hear a man reciting some formulas, and counting up slowly. She shuts it off before the counting reaches seven, and says to Steven that it’s time to go to bed. Soon after, there’s a power outage and Ellie panics and calls her mother. The breaker is located in the cellar (of course), but Ellie is terrified to go down there. While on the phone with her daughter, Kiera tells Ellie to count to 10, which is the number of steps down to the floor of the basement. Ellie keeps counting, but after reaching the number 10, she keeps counting and sounds like she have come into a trance-like manner. Kiera and Brian hurries home, only to find Ellie missing.

The Cellar is a 2022 Irish supernatural horror film, based on the horror short from 2004 called The Ten Steps. Both are written and directed by Brendan Muldowney. The story is following the well-known formula of how you should never buy an old, creepy house without knowing about its past. And of course, the wife is the one who understands that something spooky is going on, while the husband is pretty much “meh” about everything and believes their teenage daughter just decided to run off (which she had done before). So yeah, there are some of the familiar horror tropes here. But instead of the old over-sized house being infested with ghosts and ghoulies, however, the movie goes into sci-fi territory, with a little bit of Lovecraftian themes of cosmic horror, symbolism and occult numerology.

While the actual horror elements are a bit lacking, there’s a satisfactory amount of creepy atmosphere. The old big house with its creaky floors and gothic interior keeps the eerieness in place. It’s solid despite being rather formulaic, and the scene with Ellie going down the stairs and keeps counting is quite chilling. Of course, it’s not having the same effect as in the original horror short which leaves everything so much more mysterious. I guess that’s often an issue with horror shorts becoming full feature films: a short may only give you a small idea and leaves a lot to the imagination, while a feature film will need to explain things. Overall, however, The Cellar is a nice watch held up due to its solid atmosphere, and an interesting idea which is different from your typical spooky house flick.

Writer and director: Brendan Muldowney
Country & year: Ireland, Belgium, USA, 2022
Actors: Elisha Cuthbert, Eoin Macken, Abby Fitz, Dylan Fitzmaurice Brady, Tara Lee, Michael-David McKernan, Andrew Bennett, Aaron Monaghan, Marie Mullen
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14550642/