Horror Movie Tier List 2025

Horror Movie Tier List 2025

 

And a big honorable mention to the wildest and goriest non-horror film of the year: Sisu: Road to Revenge. Tappaa heidät kaikki!

Here’s a texted summary of the list in chronological order as we saw them:

Masterpiece

 

Nosferatu
— There’s no doubt that the Eggers version of Nosferatu is a visual, stylish experience layered with ominous atmosphere and overt sexual undertones. It many ways it differs from both the original and its other remakes, with elements that will be enjoyable for some and off-putting for others, but we loved it through and through!. — Vanja

 

(Note: yes, we know that the film was originally released in 2024, in the God bless of America, but us peasants overseas had to wait an week extra until January 2. So…)

 

28 Years Later
— While the ground story itself is nothing new, the execution is quite something else. The cinematography, the use of the idyllic summer landscapes with the blue sky and all, makes a stark contrast to the morbid and ugly, almost like a dreamlike paradox. There are some really haunting images here and some brilliant use of silhouettes while the kinetic camerawork amps up the intensity. I was highly impressed with this one, how it explored some themes in a new, fresh way, the world building and the overall vibe and atmosphere. — Tom

 

Bring Her Back
— While there is a somewhat basic occult story underneath Bring Her Back, it’s the execution that makes it such a great watch. There’s a constant feeling of creeping dread, you always anticipate something horrible to happen. And while the horror is mostly subtle, the scenes where the bad things start happening are truly visceral and often unexpectedly unnerving. Timing is everything, nailing it without the use of unnecessary jumpscares. There’s a lot of innuendo before the actual, purest hell breaks out, and some of these lead up to several incredible wtf-ish disturbing moments — Vanja

 

Weapons
— Underneath Weapons, you might be surprised to realize that the story is actually a very generic horror story, but it’s the non-linear way it’s told and the mix of narrative choices here that makes everything work out so perfectly. Instead of a bland, overused formula with ingredients you’re all too familiar with, it twists everything on its head and presents it to you in a completely different wrap-up. I’m repeating myself like a broken record here, but: go in as blind as possible, and enjoy this twisted and unpredictable horror adventure! — Vanja

 

Frankenstein
— Guillermo del Toro’s vision of Frankenstein is as expected a solid, beautiful gothic sci-fi adventure, and once again works both as a story of wonder and as a tale of warning about what could happen once humans are not fully cognizant of the things they create and the consequences it may bring. A tale as old as time, of humans riddled with arrogance, narcissism and greed…too often asking themselves “can I“, when more often they should have asked themselves “should I“. — Vanja

Awesome

 

Final Destination: Bloodlines
So, how does this movie hold up to the rest of the franchise? Well, we watched it at the big screen and had a total blast with it! Six films in and it’s still feeling as playful and fun as ever, perfectly balancing humour with grisly deaths. Already from the opening scene with the Skyview you know it’s going to be good, keeping you eagerly anticipating how all hell will break loose. And it sure does! Final Destination: Bloodlines proves that the franchise is still going strong, and still feeling surprisingly fresh. — Vanja

 

Companion
Companion is a fun movie about how human aggression and violence can easily become an ethical issue when given control over something that emulates human emotions, yet have no control over their lives and have no rights like that of real humans. While this is far from the first time similar concepts have been explored in movies or other media, it still felt like a fresh take, especially in these days when a situation like this seems considerably less far-fetched than it was just a few years ago. — Vanja

 

The Ugly Stepsister
The Ugly Stepsister is a fun and beautiful movie, with a dark fairytale spin on a classic story mixed with the insane beauty standards that both have existed, and still exists today. — Vanja

 

Locked
Locked is a pretty nice thriller that blends philosophy with horror elements and is fueled by strong performances from a great cast. A fun watch! — Vanja

 

Together
Aside from the body horror, there were also some surprisingly good scenes which were effectively creepy, especially the scene with Tim’s parents and the one with Millie behind the door. But for the most part, the movie is more of a fun popcorn entertainment movie with a nice slice of the bizarre. Together is a weird and icky movie about codependency, and the fear of losing oneself in a relationship and the oftentimes messy complications of love. — Vanja

 

Dead Talents Society
— Dead Talents Society is so much fun, a high-energy horror-comedy with a lot of colorful spooks and even a bit of heart. A total feel-good film for everyone who wants something a bit spooky-silly! — Vanja

 

Black Phone 2
— Black Phone 2 is a strong sequel filled with supernatural and bloody carnage. It’s a new addition to the formula of serial killers and the dead refusing to stay dead, but a fun and gory one where I wouldn’t really mind if they decide that death won’t be final this time around either. Serial killers rarely stay dead in horror anyway (like Dexter‘s son also realized recently) so perhaps we’ll see a Black Phone 3 sometime in the close future. — Vanja

 

The Gorge
— Visually, The Gorge looks beautiful much thanks to excellent use of scenery and practical effects. Of course some credit must go to the Danish cinematographer Dan Laustsen (John Wick 2-4, The Shape of Water, and also the upcoming Guillermo del Toro Frankenstein movie) for the visual treats. It is such a fun sci-fi romance horror which is probably the most Resident Evil-esque film we’ve got so far (with maybe Zach Cregger being able to top that in 2026 with an actual Resident Evil film). — Vanja

 

Good Boy
— Good Boy is a very decent haunted house film, filled with creepy atmosphere. And yeah…gotta love Indy, he’s cute as hell and did an excellent job (and kudos to the creators for pulling this off, of course). This was also a pretty strong debut, so it will be exciting to see if Ben Leonberg decides to create more horror movies, animal-POV or not. — Vanja

Good

 

Sinners
— Sinners is a pretty good period drama movie with some great musical elements and horror mixed in, and while I wasn’t as “blown away“ as the majority who watched the movie seems to have been, I could easily appreciate the movie’s higher notes and qualities. — Vanja

 

Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare
— The most remarkable here is Martin Portlock as Peter Pan. Here, he’s a mix of Heath Ledger’s Joker, Freddy Krueger and Radu the vampire with a dark and a seductive British voice that would even make Hugh Grant blush. He’s as ruthless and mean-spirited as he’s intimidating. All in all, a gritty, gory, tension-filled and morbidly entertaining ride you’ll never experience at Disneyland, even after dark. Solid stuff. — Tom

 

Presence
— A movie told from the ghost’s perspective, where we see things through their view. Interesting take on the haunted house genre, and very fine for what it is, although it’s more of a drama film than a horror movie. Worth a watch though!  — Vanja

 

Dangerous Animals
The movie is rather laidback on the gore, which was a little disappointing considering the bloody film poster. Oh well. It makes up for it by keeping up the pace at a good level throughout, and offering enough suspense.  — Vanja

 

Exit 8
— Exit 8 is a weird and minimalist psychological thriller that manages to keep the viewer engaged with what is a very simple premise. Perfect if you also like ideas featuring liminal space environments! — Vanja

 

Keeper
— Keeper is overall a pretty decent slowburn horror that does require a bit of patience, and while arguably not one of Perkins’s best, it’s still a solid entry into his collection of atmospheric, artsy horror films. — Vanja

OK

 

The Monkey
The Monkey is a movie where the kills are the most entertaining and fun part, and the movie is best enjoyed when turning off your brain completely and not expecting anything similar to what Perkins has made earlier. I’m fine with him wanting to do some monkeying around for a change, but I also personally hope that we’ll see more of his slow-burn atmospheric horror movies in the future. — Vanja

 

Until Dawn
Until Dawn didn’t turn out to be the disaster we more or less expected. It’s a pretty fine supernatural horror film, works fine on its own and gave us a decent ride. — Vanja

 

The Conjuring: Last Rites
— A very mixed and bloated bag with potential that was primarily wasted on romance and Hallmark family drama bollocks. If the film just had focused more on the actual case, the three grinning ghosts and the demon, whatever that was, this could maybe reach the quality levels of the first two. — Tom

 

The Home
The Home is the kind of slightly dumb fun movie that, despite some pacing issues and not the most original plot, delivers a pretty fun time. And while I won’t spoil any of the twisty turns along the way, I think the saving grace for the movie is a totally bonkers finale which delivers a fun, blood-soaked and gory climax. — Vanja

 

Match
— What would happen if you ordered Barbarian from Temu, sorry, I meant Tubi? You get a Match made in Goofyland. Or, in other words: By going into this Tubi Original completely blind, without even having seen a single screenshot, and expecting the absolute bottom of the barrel, you’ll maybe have a pleasant surprise and have a fun schadenfreude time. — Tom

NAH

 

Ash
I was really looking forward to Flying Lotus’ second film, after his colorful arthouse/body-horror acid trip that is Kuso, and see what he could do with a more mainstream narrative. But what a letdown this was. His unique and intense style shines through, the creature designs are solid, but the film itself, written by Jonni Remmler, is a boring, unfocused slog that goes absolutely nowhere. — Tom

 

Heart Eyes
Shallow. Empty. Artificial. Unfunny. Aggressively tone-deaf. As a slasher: zero tension. As a romcom: as romantic as a random duck-faced Instagram page filled with filters and whatnot. Couldn’t stand the two lead characters. Two narcissists collide. Ugh. Kill them both, please. The only thing that saves this glossy nothingburger from being tossed in the trashcan, is two or three great kills. — Tom

 

Wolf Man
The big “L” that appears at the screen at the end that fades into the name of the director (Leigh Whannell), sums it all up perfectly. Or you can just take a look at the shitty copy n’ paste movie poster, which is as empty and uninspiring as the film itself. Some good practical effects to spot, but that’s all. God knows what really happened here when we all know that he can do so much better than this. — Tom

 

Don’t Hang Up
The most cliché, cookie-cutter, super generic, predictable haunted house found-footage one can possibly make in the year of 2025. — Tom

 

Clown in a Cornfield
I keep saying Corn in a Clownfield when mentioning this film for some reason. Anyway, this is the Temu version of Pennywise, more or less. Lame and forgettable. Expected more from the director of Tucker and Dale vs Evil.— Tom

 

Please Don’t Feed the Children
A very tame, forgettable and zero-calorie version of Flowers in the Attic (as far as I can remember) which is nothing to fill anyone’s hungry stomach. And yeah, this is the directorial debut of Destry Allyn Spielberg, the daughter of Steven himself, that got dumped straight on Tubi. Oof. — Tom

 

The Rule of Jenny Pen
What an absolute waste of two masterclass actors, Geoffrey Rush and John Lithgow, who, oddly enough, are listed as producers on this thing. If you wanna see a light version of The Trinity Killer clowning around with a fucking doll/puppet for 90 minutes in an old folks’ home while someone is trying to come up with a script, by all means.  — Tom

 

Vicious
I expected at least that Dakota Fanning (who deserves a better movie than this nothingburger yawn-fest) would carve out her tattoos to fill the box with something that she liked… but I forgot that 99 percent of the people on planet Earth have tattoos now, so… — Tom

 

The Death of Snow White
The dwarfs? Have they all gone mad?
Bonkers trailer. The film itself, not so much. There are some fun ideas here though, especially with the sexy demonic mirror and some great practical effects. Too bad that the fun gets mostly held back with stiff, sloggish Shakespearean dialogue scenes. That said, big kudos the the filmmakers for actually using real dwarfs here. Yes, Dinklage is not the only one. Who could imagine. — Tom

 

The Elixir
Just another generic, boring and overbloated sloggish zombie flick with the bottom-of-the-barrel dumbest zero IQ characters imaginable. Solid effects, make-ups and cinematography are the only positives. — Tom

 

TRASH

 

Piglet
It’s exactly what you think it is: bottom-of -the-barrel zero effort trash like Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, just with the piglet… and I honestly didn’t expect more. Has nothing to do with the Poohniverse though. — Tom

 

Tarot Curse
A knockoff of Tarot and even worse in every single way. — Tom

 

Popeye’s Revenge
What more is there really to say at this point? It’s as bad as Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, only with Popeye. It’s as bad as Piglet, only with Popeye. Same zero-effort trash, different wrapping. — Tom

 

The Jolly Monkey
The ripoff/mockbuster of The Monkey from The Asylum wasn’t fun/bad as I hoped it would be. And no jolly about it like the trailer would trick you to believe. Not even a little. Just bad, bad, bad and dreadfully boring. — Tom

 

The Ritual
Just like our ol’ uncle Al Pacino I also like my Happy Hour with Jack Daniels, but seriously… go home, sleep it off, take a good shower and drink some mountain water. The same goes for you, cameraman. Jeez. — Tom

 

The Woman in the Yard
I’m depressed, y’all! Feel sorry for ME!
A woman gets depressed after her husband dies in a car accident which leaves her widowed with two kids and a dog. Fair enough. But the odd thing is that she was as miserable and bitchy when he was still alive, while her husband tried to do whatever he could to put a smile on her sorry face. They even moved from place to place to hopefully escape her dark cloud, despite the struggling economy. We never get to the root of her depression, even barely on its surface. She’s just borderline depressed, self-centered, cold, narcissistic and a pathetic worm of a human because the script says so, who goes in a full-on self-sabotage mode while dragging her two kids, and even the dog into her misery pit. All this with zero substance or character development, so…  why should we really care? And then we have that ending so that the film could at least spark some more curiosity to be fooled to watch this… whatever it is. Well, it worked.  — Tom

 

I Know What You Did Last Summer
I need to start drinking. Yeah? So…what are you waiting for? Everyone here needs a drink, it seems. I Know What You Drank Last Summer. This was worse than expected, way worse actually, and the moronic dry fart of a twist ending is just the turd on top of whatever this is. Scriptwise, this is pure incompetence from start to finish and not in a funny way. If Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. weren’t shoehorned in here, I could easily mistake this for a very delayed and lazy ripoff by The Asylum. Yeah, it’s actually that bad. Just watch the original again, where you also get some brief timeless ’90s summer breeze from Type O Negative. — Tom

 

Opus

 

That being said, it’s now time for a mega pint or three. Happy Ghoulish New Year from Tom, Vanja & Mr. Ghööl !

Match (2025)

MatchGimme All Your Lovin’

 

Alright, boys and girls, let’s do an experiment: What would happen if you ordered Barbarian from Temu, sorry, I meant Tubi? You get a Match made in Goofyland. Or, in other words: By going into this Tubi Original completely blind, without even having seen a single screenshot, and expecting the absolute bottom of the barrel, you’ll maybe have a pleasant surprise and have a fun schadenfreude time. And that should be my whole review for Match. So take care, thanks for stopping by, have a ghoulish night and happy Unholidays.

 

But if you’re still here, OK then…I’ve no better things to do either, so here we go: Here we meet the young woman, Paola, who’s searching for the sweet love via apps and whatever the kids are using today to communicate. After Paola has suffered through the one disastrous date after another, she finally finds a guy named Henry who matches her 93%. Well, if she thinks the previous dates were bad, she’s seen nothing yet. He even offers to serve her a home cooked meal on their date. What a true gentleman. Almost too good to be true.

 

There’s only one thing though — he has an autoimmune disease which makes him housebound. He also makes some bullshit COVID excuses for not wanting to go outside. Yeah, in the year of 2025. Paola’s sister, Maria, sees the red flags waving a mile away and begs her not to visit him alone at his home on the first date. So, it’s pretty clear early on that this is not the brightest final girl. But since love can be one helluva drug, she can’t resist. That home cooked meal must really be worth it.

 

After Paola arrives at Henry’s big upper-class house and rings the doorbell, she gets met by his mother, Lucille. Just the sight of her is another big red flag already. She’s ecstatic to meet her son’s date though, and invites Poala in to the point of no return. Poala gets drugged and wakes up strapped in a gurney as Lucille rolls her through some dark, decayed dim-lighted corridor filled with dead maggot-infested rats on mousetraps. Cozy. Again, that home-cooked meal must be something that would even give Gordon Ramsay an erection.

 

Speaking of erection… a terrified Paola gets rolled into a room where she finally gets to meat Henry (see what I did there?) but this is not the same Henry she’s chatted with. Huh. Instead, we have a morbid surprise that looks like if Sloth from The Goonies had a baby with Junior Gorg from Fraggle Rock while cosplaying as The Hunchback of Notre Dame. And he’s ready to fuck. Or just to quote Rammstein: You’ve got a pussy, I have a dick, So what’s the problem? Let’s do it quick.

 

And… I’m just gonna leave it here, because this absurd and sometimes icky horror comedy is just best watching without knowing anything about it, as mentioned earlier, even though how predictable it seems on paper.

 

What we also have here is an extremely sarcastic and welcoming commentary on the more and more delightful and soul-sucking online/smartphone society we live in ― filled with a sewer of apps (or digital cockroaches as I call it), mountains of uncanny face filters and future-faking that follows the most gullible NPCs all the way to their grave. And then we have the shock values that includes a close-up with a monsterdick and a… mousetrap. What an interesting combination. I bet that Johnny Knoxville can relate.

 

And for those who got seriously traumatized after seeing a penis for the first time on the big silver screen in 28 Years Later earlier this year, this one will probably ruin your Christmas. Just a friendly warning.

 

But jokes aside, cuz this is so over the top and silly to almost a Looney Tunes level, that could as well be something straight from an average Troma film. The film gets more and more unhinged as it goes on with absurd, twisted dark humor with lots of lols, WTF-moments and questionable logic, while the main actress Humberly González seems to do the best she can to take this satirical clown show seriously. The film knows exactly what it is though, and so does Dianne Simpson, who plays the deranged Lucille, with a big dose of zany energy. The big star here (no pun intended) is of course the lover boy himself, the fake Henry, played by Jacques Adriaanse, buried under tons of layers with old school prosthetic makeup. And I’d bet there was a whole mini series of bloopers during the shooting. Not the best film of the year, but a surprisingly fun one with some eccentric charm.

 

Match

 

Director: Danishka Esterhazy
Writers: Al Kaplan, Jon Kaplan
Country & year: South Africa, 2025
Actors: Humberly González, Shaeane Jimenez, Dianne Simpson, Jacques Adriaanse, Luke Volker, Nikita Faber, Dean Goldblum, Peter Butler
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt37436190/

 

Tom Ghoul