The year was somewhere in the late 1980s where the exciting news had spread in Italy that none other than Klaus Kinski was writing, directing and playing the main role in an upcoming biopic of the legendary violinist Niccolò Paganini. Since Klaus Kinski was still a crowd magnet, director Luigi Cozzi, expected Kinski’s film to be such a hit that a horror film based on Paganini could piggyback on its success. Instead, we have a nonsensical and laughable shiny turd of an amateur hour spectacle that could easily have been sharted out by Claudio Fragasso in a short week. Not that Kinski Paganini was a much better film, but that’s a whole other story, in a different genre.
Paganini Horror starts in the city of Venice with a girl who plays her violin through “The Witches Dance“ from a rare sheet of paper. These notes are of course cursed that makes the girl become possessed, then goes into the bathroom where her mother is taking a bath to drop a hair dryer in her water. FZZZZZZT, FZZZZZZT, added with some old-school cheesy hand-drawn electric effects.
Then we jump to our group of protagonists, an all-female rock n’ roll band (except for the drummer) who’s in the studio and recording. And no, the singer is not Peter Burns. The producer isn’t much impressed as she calls it the same old stuff and nothing original. She wants them to make something mind-blowing and sensational. Well, we’re still in the good ole’ 1980s, so that shouldn’t be that hard. The drummer, Daniel, then meets a mysterious man named Mr. Pinkett to exchange a black suitcase that holds the sheet of notes for… Paganini Horror! The combination of the suitcase is of course six, six…six. OoOoh… This Pinkett guy is played by Donald Pleasance where it’s hard to tell whether he’s completely buzzed-out or high as a kite.
Daniel plays the tune on a piano. The producer is finally impressed even though it fits way more in an Elton John ballad. Daniel says that the unpublished notes were written by Niccolo Paganini. Do you mean Paganini, the famous Italian violinist?, she ask like a braindead imbecile. No, Eilerti Paganini Pilarmi, who else? So let’s rock! The legend says that Paganini used these magical notes in a secret ritual while he sold his soul to the devil in exchange for fame and wealth. According to the real legend, Paganini did sell his soul to Dr. Satan but for talent and not for fame and wealth. Maybe not the best choice as he died piss-poor at age 57. Anyway, a light bulb flicks over their airheads as they believe that these tunes can bring the same success to them. The mind-numbingly bad acting as they look as excited and enthusiastic as some broken NPCs mixed with the stiff dubbing, is enough to give this extra cheese-filled spaghetti clown show a watch. And it gets better/worse.
Our girl band rents a remote castle to shoot a horror-themed music video. Meanwhile, we see this Pinkett guy throwing all the money from a tower while he’s mumbling
go, go, go, go all you little demons. Little demons. Yes, fly away, little demons, so that the real ones can take your place, so that what happened to Paganini will repeat itself this time as well. Let the price for fame be extracted by the one to whom it belongs, his majesty, Satan.
OK. So, uhm, the ghost of Paganini rises from the grave, I guess, to stalk and kill our female rockers one by one with a dagger that sticks out from the bottom of his small violin. Here he’s dressed more like a cheap cosplay version of the phantom of the opera, and is not even close to the awesome-looking ghoulish skeleton we see in the poster. There’s full-on nonsensical dream logic from here on where people randomly fall through green neon-lighted sinkholes, and…well, as we say in showbiz: The show must go on. Don’t have a script, you say? Then improvise! What follows is more retarded acting, cheap effects, cheaper costumes, baffling dialogue delivery and so on. You know the drill..
But to be fair though, the director Luigi Cozzi is not all to blame here. Cozzi was in constant fights with producer Fabrizio De Angelis, who always demanded Cozzi to cut as many gory scenes from the script as possible. Which is pretty odd considering that Fabrizio was also producer on the goriest films of Lucio Fulci throughout the 1980s. It sounded more like pure sabotage when Cozzi got this demand just a few days before the shooting started. He also planned an eight-minute long sequence with scenes of planets, galaxies and parallel dimensions that were supposed to give the movie a stronger “science fiction touch“. Paganini in space? Yeah, why not. This animated short film from Gobelins isn’t that far from the idea.
Cozzi picked the script apart until it was nothing more left to shoot, and most of the script had to be rewritten. Daria Nicolodi (the fresh ex-girlfriend of Dario Argento) then came into the picture to help him with the rewrite, and the next is Italian Trash Cinema history. Nicolodi also plays one of the main characters and she looks as brainfarted as the rest. If the original script and the overall technical aspects would be much better if hadn’t it been for the iron fist of De Angelis, we’ll never know. But if the acting was still as amateurish as in the version that got made, I hardly think so. Some fewer laughs, maybe.
Director: Luigi Cozzi
Writers: Luigi Cozzi, Daria Nicolodi, Raimondo Del Balzo
Country & year: Italy, 1988
Actors: Daria Nicolodi, Jasmine Maimone, Pascal Persiano, Maria Cristina Mastrangeli, Michel Klippstein, Pietro Genuardi, Luana Ravegnini, Roberto Giannini, Donald Pleasence
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095812/
In the late 1970’s, the two Italian filmmakers Claudio Fragasso and Bruno Mattei teamed up to become a duo, a collaboration that lasted ten years. Neither of them had much of a talent, but was sure driven by a lot of naive, eccentric passion and will power. It’s basically two Ed Woods we’re talking about, to describe them in the easiest way.
Sometime in the late 80s, George A. Romero was invited to Italy to eat pasta and sip red wine with Dario Argento. The result of that meeting became Two Evil Eyes, an anthology of two films, one hour each, based on stories by Edgar Allan Poe. The original idea was an anthology of four segments in which also John Carpenter and Stephen King was considered to make the other two. However, Carpenter was busy with other stuff while Stephen King, still and forever traumatized by the experience with Maximum Overdrive, had no desire to call himself a “moron” a second time, and thus Four Evil Eyes got reduced to Two Evil Eyes.