We’re in the 70’s, and Gilderoy is a sound engineer traveling all the way from Britain to the Berberian Film Studio in Italy. He’s going to work on a film about horses…or so he thinks. When he arrives, the film producer Francesco tells him that the film is actually an Italian giallo film, called The Equestrian Vortex. Well, this wasn’t what Gilderoy signed up for, but he still decides to work at the studio to add the sound effects, or do “Foley work“ as it’s also called. Using inventive ways to add sounds to the film’s gory scenes (which we actually never see) he uses vegetables and mixes voiceovers from the session artists. At the same time, Gilderoy is struggling with colleagues who pretty much treat him like shit (but then again they also do so to each other), feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the work he’s doing, and he starts to detach from reality.
Berberian Sound Studio is a British psychological horror film from 2012, directed by Peter Strickland and co-written with Jon Croker. Strickland made a short film of it in 2005, where he said that he wanted to “make a film where everything that is usually hidden in cinema, the mechanics of film itself, is made visible. Berberian… turns this on its head. Here, the film is out of view, and you only see the mechanics behind it.“
This is one of those films where the tired-out phrase “isn’t for everyone“ truly fits. I’d think you’d have to inhabit at least a tiny interest to the art of sound editing, old-school moviemaking and Italian giallo in order to get the most out of a movie like this. It starts off on a somewhat comedic level, where the timid Gilderoy is struggling to set boundaries and voice his opinions, surrounded by the typical 70’s “Italian machismo“ culture. Then it gets increasingly bizarre as Gilderoy’s mental state starts deteriorating.
The sound effect making, where watermelons are smashed and cabbages are split in half, sometimes showing pieces of damaged and rotting vegetables all over the place, made me imagine an alternative universe where this would be a Terrifier-level horror movie for vegetables. There’s something about not seeing the actual scenes Gilderoy is making the sounds for, but just hearing the sounds, seeing the descriptions, and hearing the actresses screaming. It certainly leaves a lot to the imagination! And if The Equestrian Vortex was an actual film, I wouldn’t hesitate giving it a watch.
Eventually, the movie ventures pretty far into cuckoo-land and what really happens and what happens only in Gilderoy’s head isn’t all that clear. The ending is somewhat ambiguous, and if you’d think there would be some kind of Evil Ed development here you’ll be sorely disappointed. It’s more like a surrealistic, dark dream without much of a conclusion.
Berberian Sound Studio is an amusing and strange film, and while the ending didn’t quite land with me I found the overall experience to be enjoyable.
Director: Peter Strickland Writers: Peter Strickland, Jon Croker Country & year: UK/Germany, 2012 Actors: Toby Jones, Cosimo Fusco, Antonio Mancino, Fatma Mohamed, Salvatore Li Causi, Chiara D’Anna, Tonia Sotiropoulou, Eugenia Caruso, Susanna Cappellaro, Guido Adorni IMDb:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1833844/
On Maryland’s Eastern Shore, there’s a cozy town called Claridge. A reporter named Donna Thompson, totally fresh in the game, has decided to cover the local’s celebration of 4th July, but amidst all the fun a lot of the citizens start falling ill. And severely so. The hospital gets overwhelmed with patients, and the head doctor calls the CDC who believes it must be some kind of viral outbreak. Things keep getting worse, with people dying showing some really bizarre symptoms, like severe lesions and their tongues missing. What could be the cause of this? Well…some months earlier, two oceanographers discovered that the bay had high toxicity levels, and even encountered multiple fish that had been consumed from the inside out, by some kind of mutated isopod. Hmm…could this have something to do with the chicken farm nearby that have polluted the bay when dumping their chicken excrement and god knows what else into the water? One thing is for certain: everything turns into full chaos mode as people keep dying.
The Bay is a found footage horror movie from 2012, directed by Barry Levinson and written by Michael Wallach. It is based on a story created by the duo. The inspiration for the film came when Levinson was asked to produce a documentary about the problems facing the Chesapeake Bay, a project he chose to abandon when he learned that Frontline was already covering the issue. Deciding to make use of all the research, he produced a horror film instead and promoted it as “80 percent factual information“. The movie was shot on locations in North Caroline and South Carolina.
The Bay is a horror movie that may feel like yet another zombie-outbreak movie at first, but instead its playing around with a concept that sells itself as something that “could have happened“. While that is a bit of a stretch, of course, it’s still a horror movie that can make you quite uncomfortable, especially if you’ve either experienced or are aware of just how much damage bacteria and parasites can do to a human body. I’m still getting chills from remembering some of the episodes of the Monsters Inside Me series that was broadcast on Discovery…bloody nine hells, how disturbing some of that actually was..! And while a horror movie like this is of course exaggerating things, it’s kind of nasty to think of how close it still is to reality. Yes, the parasitic isopod eating tongues is a real thing: it’s called Cymothoa exigua. Not believed to be harmful to humans in real life, though…so, uhm, I guess that’s a relief…
The format, found footage docudrama, works pretty well for a movie like this. It feels a little chaotic at times with all the “footage“ put together in order to form the narrative, but this only adds to the perceived realism as the citizens are literally thrown into a deadly chaos. The extremely fast-acting way the parasitic infections occur in people reminds us a bit of the typical zombie-infestation buildup where things go from zero to a thousand in the blink of an eye. No one knows what’s happening until it’s too late, and then there’s the inevitable societal crumble. In that regard, the realistic approach falters a bit, but strengthens the horror elements.
Overall, The Bay is a nice found footage horror film which makes you more afraid of the tiny things in the water that you can’t see, rather than any big monster. Probably not a good watch for those suffering from Parasite phobia, though…
Director: Barry Levinson Writers: Michael Wallach, Barry Levinson Country & year: USA, 2012 Actors: Nansi Aluka, Christopher Denham, Stephen Kunken, Frank Deal, Frank Deal, Kether Donohue, Kristen Connolly, Will Rogers, Kimberly Campbell, Beckett Clayton-Luce IMDb:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1713476/
Nathan Sands is a geneticist (or just a mad scientist, if you will) who has been hired by the U.S. Navy to create a new weapon. Together with his daughter Nicole, they have created a large intelligent shark with the tentacles of an octopus, because that sounds like an excellent idea where nothing can go wrong. A sharktopus, in other words, but for some reason they have decided to simply call it S-11. They control the creature by using a device on its head, which gives electromagnetic pulses. Because an attachment to such a creature’s head which is the entire means of control over it sounds like the greatest idea ever, right? Well, as can easily be imagined, the S-11 gets rid of the annoying device, and swims along to Mexican waters to create some mayhem and perhaps enjoy some human burritos. Sands and Nicole must find someone that can help them capture the monster, and meets up with a cocky dude named Andy Flynn who is apparently the most suited for the job. The catch is: the monster must be captured alive. Easier said than done! As Nicole and Andy tries to follow its tracks, a pesky news reporter called Stacy Everheart and her henpecked cameraman Bones starts pursuing the story of the year.
Sharktopus is a SyFy horror film produced by Roger Corman and directed by Declan O´Brien, which later sparked a franchise. And ohhh boy, could this one have been a total rotten fish of a stinker if it wasn’t for the obvious tongue-in-cheek approach and the self-awareness displayed here. It’s made as a “so-bad-it’s good“ movie, and that is a much harder achievement than one might initially expect. Few movies that aim for this setup manages to pull it off, but Sharktopus is one of those exceptions. It delivers exactly what it promises, and you’d have to be an idiot if you were to take it seriously for even a split second. It’s yet another movie where I’m glad we have badges instead of ratings here on Horror Ghouls…
The setup is pretty simple: crazy scientist creates monster, monster runs amok, heroes must stop it. The characters are pretty bland, with Eric Roberts as Nathan Sands being the most decent of the bunch. That being said, the over-acting and clunky performances from several of the actors here is what offers some decent laughs, plus the hilarious kill scenes mixed with bad CGI effects. Not to mention campy lines like:
– Oh no, not like this! Arrrgghhhhhh! (while attempting to convince the viewer they have really been caught by those crappy CGI tentacles)
– Damn you Sharktopus!
– You can stop staring at my rack. They’re just boobs. They’re not gonna get up and dance or anything.
– That guy was killed in front of us inches away. Inches away! Gosh. He was kind of a nice guy, you know? Smell a little funky, but he was okay. Now he’s dead.
Yeah…if I haven’t made it pretty clear already, Sharktopus is indeed a horrible movie, but for all the good reasons. It’s a lot of stupid fun, and a nice watch for the shark week!
Also, in 2023 the movie actually had a remake…from China, of all places. And to be honest it looks more like they tried to make a remake of Deep Rising. Currently not available officially anywhere outside of China…but as of now, there’s YouTube…and here’s a link to the trailer.
Director: Declan O’Brien Writers: Mike MacLean, Stephen Niver Country & year: USA, 2010 Actors: Eric Roberts, Kerem Bürsin, Sara Malakul Lane, Sara Malakul Lane, Héctor Jiménez, Liv Boughn, Julian Gonzalez Esparza, Blake Lindsey, Peter Nelson, Maija Markula IMDb:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1619880/
Ada is a young woman who lives in an isolated backwoods community. Aside from selling their homemade moonshine in the nearest town, this community worships a pit that is said to have healing powers. The catch? The pit demands a sacrifice every now and then, because all good things requires a certain price to pay. One of the community members, a man named Dwight, gets visions of the next sacrifice and creates “jug faces“ from clay. The face on the latest jug must then be sacrificed to the entity that lives in the pit. Ada, visiting Dwight one day, notices his latest creation. Guess whose face is portrayed on it? Yup, it’s hers, of course. Terrified, she decides to hide the jug away. What then happens is a chain reaction of horrible events: she is arranged to marry a boy named Bodey, but Ada is already pregnant with her beloved brother’s child (yes, really). This is something she must try to keep a secret, but the worries don’t stop there. Ada is having a vision where she witnesses the death of Bodey’s sister, killed by the angered entity who didn’t get the sacrifice it wanted. Ada tries everything she can to escape both the community and the entity’s wrath, only to cause even more death.
Jug Face is a supernatural folk horror film from 2013, written and directed by Chad Crawford Kinkle. The jug faces in the movie was made by potter and sculptor Jason Mahlke, who designed them specifically for the film. And they certainly work in the movie’s favor, as they look like something that could be sold at an estate sale and later winding up in The Warren Occult Museum.
Many folk horror movies often deal with protagonists coming to visit certain isolated villages or communities, while this one tells a story solely from inside the community itself. They have lived for a long time with certain traditions, with the pit giving them protection from disease and also offering healing properties. What’s an occasional human sacrifice every now and then, right? And in order to make everything feel more justified, they let the entity pick the chosen one. And of course, like in the majority of all communities: you can’t really escape it.
Jug Face is definitely not a movie for the more casual horror audience. This backwoods folk horror movie delves into themes like incest, graphic depictions of having the period, and a miscarriage just to put the nasty cherry on top. There’s some gore during the killings, but not anything over the top, and most of it looks like leftovers from the local butchery (perhaps it even was, who knows). There’s still an unsettling atmosphere throughout, mixed with Ada’s isolation and lack of any easy escape route.
Jug Face is a pretty solid entry into the more bizarre hillbilly folk horror genre. A small-scale hicksploitation film that offers an interesting premise, and plays it along surprisingly straight-forward. Well worth a watch if you want something a little folkish, strange, and a little bit disgusting.
Writer and director: Chad Crawford Kinkle Country & year: USA, 2013 Actors: Sean Bridgers, Lauren Ashley Carter, Kaitlin Cullum, Larry Fessenden, Katie Groshong, Scott Hodges, Daniel Manche, Alex Maizus, Chip Ramsey, Jennifer Spriggs IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2620736/
Elena Peters is a teenager who goes to a party with friends. Upon seeing her boyfriend making out with another girl, she needs some space and ends up in an isolated room, where she finds a wooden trunk. Someone is inside, and when she opens it, Arkin (from the first movie The Collector) is released. This sets off a bunch of deadly booby traps, and Elena’s friends and a lot of the other party-people are killed left and right, while The Collector watches it all unfold until he kidnaps Elena for his collection. Arkin, on the other hand, manages to escape by jumping out of a window which causes him to break his arm. At the hospital, he is happy to learn that his wife and daughter are safe, but also learns that Elena has a wealthy father who has hired a team of mercenaries to hunt down The Collector. Arkin is the only known survivor that has been to The Collector’s place, and the mercenaries wants him to join them. They end up at an abandoned hotel, where everything is of course booby-trapped from top to bottom and we finally get to see some of The Collector’s collection…
The Collection is a horror film from 2012, the sequel of the 2009 film The Collector. Once again directed by Marcus Dunstan and co-written with Patrick Melton, the movie follows the story very much immediately after the end of the first one. The movie opens with a scene that, while it doesn’t surpass it, reminds me a bit of the opening scene in Ghost Ship (2002). This gives everything an even more over-the-top energy, and The Collector suddenly goes from a smart and sadistic serial killer to an outright Batman/Superhero-type villain. It’s just a bit too excessive to be especially believable, but who the fuck cares. Now it’s time for some non-stop gore action, and the serial killer’s domain are giving off more Saw-vibes than ever. The traps and conceptions inside the hotel always lead to gruesome deaths, and we also get to see some of The Collector’s displays…let’s just say it’s not only bugs that are inside those exhibits.
There are also a few horror references as well here, like the abandoned hotel which is called “Hotel Argento“ (obviously a nod to Dario Argento), and the mannequins in the hotel were also a nod to Maniac (1980).
Overall, The Collection is a fun gore-filled time which is a pretty decent sequel to the first movie, and just like the first it doesn’t require too many brain cells to watch. Sure, in some ways there are things that feel even more over-the-top and nonsensical than the first, but whatever. It’s a brainless serial-killer-villain gore ride, and works perfectly fine for what it is. The movie does end with quite the cliffhanger, so let’s hope that the third installment gets out of development hell soon. Because, yes, there is a third film underway, but it’s one that’s been going through a ton of setbacks: ever since announcing the third film in 2012, which will have the title The Collected, everything have moved at a snail’s pace and gotten one setback after the other. In 2019 a poster was unveiled, and filming began on September 23, 2019. Then, after eight days of filming, the production was unexpectedly shut down, with plans of starting up again in late October. Nope, didn’t happen. Then, it was said it would begin in 2021, but again no such luck. In April 2021, Dunstan claimed that props had been stolen from the set, and on top of that, he does not have the rights to the film so he couldn’t finish it on his own. And then, in 2022, it was reported that the production had been delayed but not cancelled, and finally in 2024 Dunstan revealed it’s in development. Damn, what a mess. So we’ll just have to cross our fingers and wait and see, hopefully we’ll get the third (and perhaps final) entry so this will be a pretty good trilogy.
Director: Marcus Dunstan Writers: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan Country & year: USA, 2012 Actors: Josh Stewart, Emma Fitzpatrick, Christopher McDonald, Lee Tergesen, Tim Griffin, Andre Royo, Randall Archer, Shannon Kane, Brandon Molale, Erin Way, Johanna Braddy, Michael Nardelli IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1748227/
We’re in a suburban town where a mother is putting on some music in the car for her child. Static starts playing…and she then drives her car to some railroad tracks and leaves her child to die there. Then we head over to the Ryans, a family consisting of the mom Kendall (Selma Blair), the dad Brent (Nicolas Cage), the daughter Carly (Anne Winters) and the son Joshua (Zackary Arthur). Things are, like in most normal families, stressful and a little strained here and there: the dad’s going through a mid-life crisis, brother and sister are picking fights with each other, and the mom is trying to occupy herself with taking fitness classes. The kids go to school as usual, and then the TV screens and radios starts transmitting the static we saw in the opening scene of the film. All hell breaks lose, and parents all over the place are going crazy and hellbent on killing their own offspring. Brent and Kendall are no exception to this mass hysteria, and the children must try to stay safe from the people who should’ve been the safest of all.
Mom and Dad is a black comedy horror film from 2017, written and directed by Brian Taylor (who also directed the recent Hellboy movie Hellboy: The Crooked Man from 2024). It had a limited release, and while getting a generally positive reception it underperformed badly, grossing only $286,313 against its $4 million budget. Still, Nicolas Cage said it was his favorite movie that he had filmed in 10 years, and John Waters named it as one of his top 10 favorites released that year.
Now, a movie about parents going insane and wanting to kill their children sounds like a pretty fun idea for a horror movie, right? While it could have been anything from a serious and grisly movie to something that takes itself too seriously, it fortunately takes the road of black comedy instead which fits perfectly here. It’s pretty fast-paced, and easily entertaining despite not exactly having the thickest of plot. Originally, I expected the movie to be a bit more gory, though… sure, there is a bit here and there but not that much as many of the kills are off-screen.
The major theme of the movie is parents feeling trapped in parenthood. There is a line in the movie, where Brent says: “I mean, I used to be Brent… and you used to be Kendall… and now we’re just… Mom and Dad “. And I think this rings true for many parents, who might end up losing themselves in a busy family life and not having enough time to nurture the relationship to their spouse, their hobbies, and all the other things that gets thrown into the backburner because when you become a mom and dad, that’s your priority. And of course, we understand that this is how it needs to be: no children ask to be born, and making this choice involves all those responsibilities. Some are able to balance being a parent with all the other things in life, and some end up feeling “trapped“ in their own self-made bed, regretting their life choices, regretting getting older, and putting the blame on the children they chose to have. This by itself doesn’t turn them all into child-killing crazies, of course, but something in this movie triggers these deep-laden feelings. It is not entirely clear what actually caused the murderous rampage by parents, except we know it’s got something to do with the static that starts playing everywhere.
Mom and Dad is an entertaining movie filled with madness and fun, and fortunately never takes itself too seriously. Cage is in full unhinged Cage-Rage mode which is always a joy to watch, and even Lance Henriksen shows up here as Brent’s dad to push things even further as all the moms and dads are on a killing spree. Overall a good time, despite not getting much of a conclusion to anything.
Writer and director: Brian Taylor Country & year: USA/UK, 2017 Actors: Nicolas Cage, Selma Blair, Anne Winters, Zackary Arthur, Robert T. Cunningham, Olivia Crocicchia, Lance Henriksen, Marilyn Dodds Frank, Samantha Lemole, Joseph D. Reitman IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5462326/
Vidar the Vampire is the first, and for the time being, the last vampire flick from Norway. A low-budget independent production that came and went in 2017. Yes, we cavemen gnomes have come a long way, haven’t we. And later this year, we’ll have our first sea monster flick with Kraken. Skål!
The film starts with a local news report by the broadcast company NDK (Norsk DrittKringkasting) that tells us that a Satanic ritual has occurred in the middle of the God sacred bible belt in Norway, at a place called Jæren, a middle-of-nowhere land not so far from Stavanger (which also happens to be the hometown of Horror Ghouls) . Then we cut to our man, Vidar (Thomas Aske Berg), a skinny guy in his early 30s with a thick Burt Reynolds mustache and dressed in a silver protective suit as he starts a session with his psychiatrist. And he also wears sunglasses. Not because he’s got a severe hangover, but because he’s Vidar the Vampire. He’s frustrated and ready to tell his life’s story, a deep glory rabbit hole that will even get the shrink raising his eyebrows.
Like any therapy session, we start from the beginning where we see Vidar as a young boy as he lives with his strict religious mom at the farm we saw earlier in the news report. He does most of the work at the farm while he gets bullied by some classmates because he’s a loner and not able to get a girlfriend. We jump twenty years forward where Vidar is still stuck on the farm with no girlfriend, friends or future aspirations where the days consist of cleaning pigsties while his mom lies in bed and chewing pills. The only form of dopamine is hidden in Playboy magazines in his small, cramped bedroom. Vidar prays every night to get away from here, and one holy night, he gets heard. Hallelujah! And now it’s where it starts to get a little weird. We have a weird moment with a succubus before, one night, he finally meets the Savior himself in the barn. And here comes the big shocker: it appears that God is actually Satan. That’s how blasphemous we can get in modern times, I guess. After Vidar gives him a blowjob and swallows the unholy juice, he becomes a vampire, of some sort.
And there’s no surprise that things doesn’t get better for Vidar from here on. His God-fearing mom makes Vidar meet an evangelist in the local church in hope to exorcise him. Doesn’t go that well either. Even more crazy shit happens, and nothing can prepare Vidar for when he finally gets to break free from the isolated farm life to dive into the nightlife of urban Stavanger.
So, yeah, It’s crystal clear what the film is really about: a satirical middle-finger to Christianity, a statement that feels more fifty years-or so too late, and was already ridiculously outdated in 2017. If Vidar the Vampire was made in the 1970s, or even in the 1980s, the film would surely stir some controversy before it would be banned completely, and be regarded as an exploitation cult-classic years later. The filmmakers would also probably be put in jail for violation of the blasphemy law. I’m not kidding. A harmless, silly comedy such as Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979) was banned in Norway for over a decade, and that should speak for itself. Things have changed radically since then with the rise of black metal bands in the early 90s, church burnings and Playboy, which was upgraded with porn on VHS, first imported from Sweden, of course. Good times. Hail Satan.
But the film is more than just poking fun of religion and clowns like Bob Larson. Chronic loneliness is the red thread here as we follow Vidar from one dire scenario to the next where things go from bad to worse, and he loses himself into an empty and hopeless existence of pure black-pilled nihilism. He walks around the streets of Stavanger at night in a farm suit while he tries to score, where he’s already completely damaged and a lost case. He becomes more desperate as his bloodlust also rises and he needs as much pussy as he needs the red human syrup. How about both? He stalks a young woman after closing time to her apartment where he chews her pussy and slurps her dry of period blood after she’s blacked-out. He almost swallows a tampon. Yum. This woman’s name is listed as “Drunk Cunt“ in the end credits (yes, in English for whatever reason). He then gets chased by her pimp as Vidar runs through the back alleys buck naked. We shouldn’t sympathize with a rapist, but still. It’s tragic, cringe, absurd, artsy at some times, and morbidly amusing to say the least, also much thanks to some solid acting and likewise dialogue. To lighten the mood, the film is filled with the most depressive and monotone folk songs that just make you want to kill yourself. Rest in peace in advance.
Vidar the Vampire is overall a weird and unique film, plain and simple, that will appeal to smaller audience as the vampire elements is used more as metaphors where the big question lies: is he really a vampire or just a raving mad incel who’s met the breaking point? And then of course we have the Norwegian language with some inside-jokes. If you can handle subtitles, the film is released on Blu-ray in America by Dread Central/DiabolikDVD. So have yourself a Drunk Cunt and enjoy the misery.
Writers and directors: Thomas Aske Berg, Fredrik Waldeland Country & year: Norway, 2017 Original title: VampyrVidar Actors: Kathrine Jünger Ims, Thomas Aske Berg, Marit Sanden, Sigve Aasland, Ingvar Skretting, Kim Sønderholm, Ruben Jonassen, Martha Kristine Kåstad, Astrid Braut Øksnevad, Balder Scheen Jacobsen IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6147514/
A woman and a man who is piss-drunk are stumbling back home after a night out in L.A. They decide to take a shortcut through a dark alley (of course they are), where a large hobo violently attacks the man by biting him on the neck. The woman also gets attacked by similar monster-looking hobos, but she manages to escape, only to get hit by a speeding police car.
Then, we head over to a “flashback“ scene where our protagonist Chuck Steel must try to save his kidnapped wife from the local Yakuza. After a totally over-the-top action-packed fight and chase scene, the tragic outcome is that Steel’s wife falls from a helicopter to her death. And that’s the story of how our hero lost his wife, which explains his moody “fuck off assholes and leave me alone“ attitude. Or…at least that’s the story he tells everyone. He also tells every new partner he gets that he is in no way interested in a partner, hates working with a partner, and is a guy that wants to work alone, something that a rookie cop named Barney is about to find out. Poor Barney is also about to find out that Steel has no problems with causing huge collateral damage whilst haunting some gangsters, all the while ranting his ass off to the poor rookie. Needless to say, Steel is soon without a partner again. His captain, determined to team him up with somebody at last, gives him a final choice: a Swedish woman, a monkey, or a cheese plant. He chooses the woman (much to his regret as she’s not exactly what he hoped for). They go to interview the woman from the opening scene who is now in hospital, but when arriving there he meets an old British man standing over her, ready to ram a stake into her heart. This man is supernatural hunter Professor Van Rental, warning Steel that this woman is about to become a Trampire. Yes, you read that right: a Trampire, because back when vampires ruled over Transylvania they were driven out by the locals who finally had enough, which forced the vampires to live like tramps and took to binge drinking, causing their thirst for blood to become as strong as their thirst for alcohol. Thus, the Trampires now hunt the street for those with a high blood alcohol level, and staying sober has never been more important! Of course, it would be an impossible task to ask the general public to stop getting shitfaced, so the only option is to get rid of the Trampires. Does Steel believe in any of this insane hogwash? Well, of course not…but he’s soon to find out that the professor was speaking the truth, which turns this already bonkers movie into a totally crazy, blood-soaked balls-to-the-wall love-letter to the action films from the 80’s!
Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires is a stop-motion action horror comedy film from 2018, written and directed by Mike Mort who is also voicing the titular lead role, and this was his feature debut. Budget is said to have been $20 million, of which it doesn’t seem that even a fraction of it was earned back (such a shame). It premiered on the Annecy International Animation Film Festival in France, on 12 June 2018. And this one’s been a long time in the making, as Mike Mort wrote the early draft for it back in 2001. The character of Chuck Steel was something he came up with all the way back in 1986, however, which makes this an even more fitting 80s throwback film. In 2013, Chuck Steel appeared in the short Raging Balls of Steel Justice, and in 2014 Animortal Studio was setup, where the impressive amount of 425 puppets where made for the movie, plus dozens of giant scale-model sets. The movie was finished in early 2018. Then, distribution hell happened and it didn’t get a release until October 2021.
A stop-motion animated horror action comedy, not giving a turd about political correctness and whether the jokes are being “offensive“ by today’s standards , filled with gore, 80’s throwback action and other pleasantries…what’s not to love? The trailer for this movie got me interested immediately, and oh boy, were we in for a ride with this one! First of all, the stop motion in this movie is absolutely fantastic. It’s easy to see that there’s been put so much love and care into all the puppets, model sets and details. The references to the 80s actions flicks, including both the good and the bad, are spot on: there’s an abundance of explosions, car crashes and chases, all accompanied by the beats of typical 80’s music. It’s just as hilarious and energetic as the trailer indicates, but it’s also surprisingly cinematic and polished.
Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires is one of those movies where I just can’t help thinking: why the hell isn’t this movie more known, why isn’t it receiving more appreciation..? With throwback movies being all the rage these days, this should’ve been a goddamn cult classic by now! Yeah, yeah… the crude humour was probably off-putting for some, but seriously. It’s not often we see something as inspired, something so filled with ridiculous energetic glee as this movie! Sure, you probably need to not only be a fan of 80’s action movies or the 80’s in general to fully appreciate a movie like this, but also have a bit of fondness for some of the typical B-Movie schlock as well. Playing this one to the general audience who are used to watch the latest generic and safe blockbusters will probably put their brain in automatic nah-mode, especially with all the jokes putting the modern offense-level up to eleven which would make them squirm in their seats with discomfort. So, yeah…this is one of those movies where I know it’s not got a very wide audience (obviously), but I still can’t recommend it enough and I think that there’s a much larger audience out there who would have loved the shit out of this film if they just found out about it. It’s filled with awesome animation, fantastic creature designs, gore, has a totally crazy plot, and is a hilarious action-filled adventure featuring the most badass maverick cop ever. A pleasure to watch! Glad we got this one on Blu-ray, which also included a poster and booklet.
Writer and director: Mike Mort Country & year: UK, 2018 Voices by: Mike Mort, Jennifer Saunders, Paul Whitehouse, Dan Russell, Jonnie Fiori, Samantha Coughlan, Romano Marenghi, Geoff Robbins, Jonnie Price, Mark Richard Jones, Laura Tofarides IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4278346/
Hobo with a Shotgun was originally one of the delightful and awesome fake trailers made for the promotion of the double-feature release of Planet Terror and Death Proof back in 2007. And just like the same trailer for Machete, and much later Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving, it was made into a full-length feature. But unlike the two/three mentioned, this one was more independent, made far away from the mainstream Hollywood system, and didn’t get any wide theatrical release. A damn fucking shame because this is meant to be seen on a big screen with a solid sound system and not on a laptop. Anyway, in the fake trailer, we saw David Brunt having the days of his life as an unhinged hobo. He was also supposed to play the role in the film, but a severe panic attack with the stress of carrying a whole feature-length on his shoulders made him disappear for weeks. He was reduced to a quick cameo as a “no dirty cop“ while Rutger Hauer took over the title role. The film got funded with 3 million dollars and shot in the back alleys over 24 days in Dartmouth. And no, that’s not a region somewhere in Mordor, but a city in Canada.
We’re in the 1980s where it all starts with some fresh optimism as Hobo is on a cargo train to explore some uncharted territories. Unfortunately, he couldn’t have dropped off in a worse city where they could use a RoboCop, a dozen of Paul Kerseys and maybe a Batman. But we’re soon to learn that you should never underestimate a hobo with a shotgun who’s about to meet the final breaking point. The city is ironically called Hope Town (tagged over as Scum Town) with the slogan “where the railway ends and life begins!“ Too bad that the city is already in its final stage of full psychotic collapse where the trash floats as much as the cocaine, graffiti on every wall, stink of piss and shit everywhere I can imagine, insane rampant crime, corrupt police, punks smashing people’s heads like melons with bump-cars while hookers do their thing to survive — and just everything imaginable to make this the worst urban dystopian nightmare on Earth. Nothing much new that Hobo hasn’t seen his whole life already though. So what is it that’s making Hobo finally raising his eyebrows? Good question.
The answer: As Hobo is shuffling around with a loot-shopping cart in some neighborhood, minding his own business, he gets to witness a random handcuffed guy running with a manhole around his neck (of course). “He’s gonna kill me“, he screams. He gets confronted by a guy in the most spotless white suit with his two sons, Slick (Gregory Smith) and Ivan (Nick Bateman). We learn that the dude in the white dress is called Drake (Brian Downey). He’s a batshit crazy gangster Joker-style sociopath who’s taken over the city, and if you don’t obey him, well, get ready to be decapitated by a barbed-wire noose in broad daylight in full public. We’re still in Canada, by the way, and not in the Middle East. Yeah, well whatever, now Hobo’s seen that. This poor guy was the third son of Drake, by the way, who got gamed over with no continues because he wouldn’t be any part of this deranged family.
The next thing for Hobo is to beg for enough cash to buy a… yes, you guessed it — a lawnmower. Because the grass is always greener on the other side, I guess. And just sitting on the sidewalk with an “I’m hungry“ sign doesn’t do shit, so over to plan B: to get paid by eating glass for the camera. No pain, no gain, as we say. The road to scrambling up enough money has been brutal as he’s also been a victim of police brutality with getting carved “scum“ on his chest before they threw him in a dumpster. Welcome to Fuck Town. But the day is finally here; to buy that shiny lawnmower. The optimism is back in full blossom as Hobo stands in front of it in the pawn store like an eager kid on Christmas morning. And, oops… the store gets robbed by a gang of thugs, of course. A baby gets a gun pointed at its face. As Hobo is trapped in a corner, he picks up a shotgun and blasts away. Hobo has had enough, and a vigilante is born as he goes on a rage-filled rampage around the city, blowing the brains out of all lowlife scumbags he stumbles upon, from sleazy pimps to a pedophile Santa. Hobo for president!
Hobo becomes the one big news headline after another that soon gets the attention of Drake, the crazy guy in the white dress we saw earlier, and he wants Hobo’s head on a platter. In the midst of this, Hobo does all he can to make sure that the young street hooker Abby (Molly Dunsworth) is safe, a golden-hearted hooker, who gave him shelter.
While the film has a far more polished look than the fake trailer, Hobo with a Shotgun still has the heart, spirit and the rebellious energy like a true Grindhouse exploitation ride. Almost everyone is over-the-top in a cartoonish Troma fashion, which can be tiresome in the long run. The two guys who play Ivan and Slick really sticks out, as they do their best to top eachother as they both seemed to approach their roles by mimicking a manic Tom Cruise. Jason Eisener has been clever enough to not give them too much screentime. Rutger Hauer does a more low-key performance in all of the madness where he can make the most cheesy lines sound dead serious and believable. He plays the role with a heavy heart and vulnerability where his eyes show layers of emotions, from fear, despair to pure rage. Top tier acting. Then we have his somber words of wisdom-speech in front of the infants at the hospital which is just sad and bleak, but also true, and even more true in 2025. He and Molly Dunsworth also have some great chemistry going on and is a charming duo to root for. And no, don’t worry, there’s no awkward and cringe sex scene here. Thank God.
The cinematography by Karim Hussain really spices up the film with vibrant use of colors. Yes, we’re used to seeing this in numerous throwback films, but Mr. Hussain adds its own look and personality to it that also fits the tone perfectly. The soundtrack is a solid plus, where we have all from synth/darkwave to some appropriate use of Disco Inferno during a morbid scene that includes a school bus filled with kids. The hospital-invasion scene is especially a standout, where you’ll recognize the tunes if you’ve played Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, or vice versa. Jason Eisener was a consultant on that game, by the way. He also likes to “borrow“ classic theme music, as he also did in his short film Treevenge, and used the theme from Mark of the Devil (1970) in the opening credits of Hobo. Kids of the 80 and early 90s who grew up with The Raccoons will also have a pleasant surprise to have the nostalgia meter up to eleven.
Hobo with a Shotgun is pretty much a flawless film, and after fifteen years it’s still a unique gem in the modern Grindhouse genre. It’s fast-paced and entertaining as hell. The distinct tone keeps its track steady all through without falling off like a drunken walk-and-turn test, and blends the satire, the overall blood-filled insanity with the more gritty, serious and nihilistic undertones better than it should. That’s perhaps much because the whole cast and crew seemed to be right on the same page as director Jason Eisener and writer John Davies, who undoubtedly had a clear vision from the start. Or maybe the whole thing was just a lightning in a bottle. And Rutger Hauer was a phenomenal actor who couldn’t be a more perfect fit for the title role. RIP.
And I was, of course, curious to see what Jason Eisener would do next. Probably the sequel Hooker with a Shotgun? Oh, well. The years went by, and we finally got Kids vs Aliens, which I also did a trailer reaction of. And the film was a big letdown, to put it in a nice way, where there was no badge to give. Bummer. That said, I read somewhere, sometime long ago, maybe in a fever dream, that Jason Eisener was rumored to direct the remake of The Toxic Avenger. Well, there’s already one made where no distributors have the balls to touch it because it is “not safe enough to market“, so it’s not too late.
The time is also way long overdue for Rob Zombie to finally make his Werewolf Women of the SS with Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu!!!
Director: Jason Eisener Writer: John Davies Country & year: Canada, 2011 Actors: Rutger Hauer, Pasha Ebrahimi, Robb Wells, Brian Downey, Gregory Smith, Nick Bateman, Drew O’Hara, Molly Dunsworth, Jeremy Akerman, Andre Haines, Agnes M. Laan, Duane Patterson IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640459/
Three friends have traveled to a ski resort to have some fun: Dan Walker, his girlfriend Parker O´Neal, and Walker’s best friend Joe Lynch. It’s about to get dark and nearing the ski resort’s closing time, but they manage to have the ski lift operator let them go for just one final run down the mountain. Unfortunately, the ski lift operator is relieved from duty by another employee, and while he tells them there are three people left, the second operator closes everything when three other people comes skiing down. The chairlift they are still sitting on is then stopped, and the three friends do not realize the big heap of trouble they’re in until the lights on the ski resort goes out. And the biggest problem of all: the ski resort will be closed for an entire week. As no one else knows their whereabouts, they are trapped with seemingly no way to get out of the situation.
Frozen (not to be mistaken for the Disney movie) is a psychological horror film directed by Adam Green. The film premiered on the Sundance Film Festival in 2010, where it apparently caused numerous faintings as certain audience members couldn’t handle the tension of the film. It was later released in North American theaters with distribution from Anchor Bay Films.
Movies where the protagonists are trapped in a single location always come with the challenge of limited scenarios, but with the right amount of build-up and the perfect location these kinds of movies can be very tense. And Frozen definitely is. Not only are they in the dangers of frostbite and literally freezing to death, there’s also wildlife putting their lives at risk. There’s a realistic sense of dread throughout the entire movie, and the realism is of course heightened by the fact that the movie was shot entirely practically: there’s no greenscreen, no CGI, no soundstage, and the actors and actress were in reality suspended over fifty feet in the air on a real mountain in Utah: the Snowbasin Ski Resort in Ogden. Kind of gives me the chills just thinking about it…the shots of the moving chairlift were all done by the director himself and the Director of Photography Will Barratt, because the camera crew were too nervous to do it.
The movie moves at a rather quick pace and doesn’t let down on the tension, the threat is always imminent and you keep wondering what is going to happen. The characters, obviously having tempted fate by ignoring the dangers of going for that “final ride down the mountain“, are people you still feel sorry for despite thinking they acted like idiots. And while being stuck in a chairlift doesn’t sound like a concept that could bring in too many threats, there are actually some pretty inventive ways to put the characters in constant peril.
Frozen is a chilling thrill ride packed with tension, where you can’t help but imagining yourself in such a dire and helpless situation. A nice watch during a cold winter day!
Happy Holidays!
Writer and director: Adam Green Country & year: USA, 2010 Actors: Emma Bell, Shawn Ashmore, Kevin Zegers, Ed Ackerman, Rileah Vanderbilt, Kane Hodder, Adam Johnson, Chris York, Peder Melhuse IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1323045/
We’re in the 70’s, and Gilderoy is a sound engineer traveling all the way from Britain to the Berberian Film Studio in Italy. He’s going to work on a film about horses…or so he thinks. When he arrives, the film producer Francesco tells him that the film is actually an Italian giallo film, called The Equestrian Vortex. Well, this wasn’t what Gilderoy signed up for, but he still decides to work at the studio to add the sound effects, or do “Foley work“ as it’s also called. Using inventive ways to add sounds to the film’s gory scenes (which we actually never see) he uses vegetables and mixes voiceovers from the session artists. At the same time, Gilderoy is struggling with colleagues who pretty much treat him like shit (but then again they also do so to each other), feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the work he’s doing, and he starts to detach from reality.
