Waxwork II starts immediately where the first film left us (spoiler alert if you haven’t already seen the first movie!) where Mark and Sarah are escaping the waxwork that’s burning down to the ground. While they board a taxi and get the hell out of there, we see that they’re not the only ones who were able to escape: the severed hand from the zombie exhibit is crawling out of the space, Thing-style, and follows Sarah to her home. There, we get introduced to her abusive a-hole stepfather, who gets killed by the zombie hand with a hammer. Who gets the blame? Sarah, of course, and then everything is turned into some murder-trial-defense scenario. Mark, desperate to save his girlfriend, tries to find a way to convince the jury that a zombie hand really killed her stepfather, but in order to do so he needs to prove that such a Thing exists in the first place, and thus Mark must travel through several worlds in order to gather evidence that can save Sarah. Aaand here we go into total sci-fi/fantasy/cosmic/something-something hodgepodge that only makes the slightest sense if you’ve been dosing on some magic mushrooms.
Waxwork II: Lost in Time is a dark fantasy comedy horror film from 1992, written and directed by Anthony Hickox who also wrote and directed the first film, Waxwork (1988). It premiered in the Philippines on March 26, 1992, and got a direct-to-video release in the US later that year despite originally having been intended as a theatrical release like its predecessor.
Like the first movie, there’s some familiar faces to see. Zach Gilligan reprises his role as Mark, the protagonist. David Carradine (well known as Bill in the Kill Bill movies) also has a role here as a beggar, and we have Bruce Campbell in possibly the best segment in the movie, shot in black & white which is a homage to The Haunting from 1963 (the segment even has the same title).
Overall, the movie is complete nonsense from start to finish. It’s a lot more goofy than the first, and paying tons more homages to horror classics of all kinds with more than a few nods to multiple fantasy films as well. Unlike the first film, there’s no Wax Museum here, just…portals to other dimensions or something like that, which are all homages to other films. And there’s sooo much here: nods to Nosferatu, Godzilla, Dawn of the Dead, Alien, etc. etc. Just like the first, it isn’t afraid to spill a bit of blood for us gorehounds, sometimes doused with a good amount of cheese, like the scene with Bruce Campbell getting his ribcage exposed, and Frankenstein doing a good old head-smashing with popping eyeballs and a brain flying straight out of the top of the skull. Great times! There’s also a rather lengthy medieval segment which does outstay its welcome a bit, but it’s also where most of the (nonsensical) story is progressing, and where the villain, Lord Scarabus, resides.
It’s hard to really get much into this movie plot-wise as it’s so all over the place and so silly and nonsensical that just trying to think too much about it makes me feel like my brain is going to take a flight just like in the Frankenstein scene. If you thought the first movie was too asinine for your taste, then gee whiz, are you going to have some trouble with this one…
Overall, Waxwork II: Lost in Time is a fun watch if you’ve already seen the first and can enjoy movies that are utter silliness. It’s got its fair share of charm and entertainment value despite being somewhat of a mess. One of the major highlights in the movie are the tons of horror references that’s bound to be a fun watch for most horror fans.
Writer and director: Anthony Hickox Country & year: USA, 1992 Actors: Zach Galligan, Monika Schnarre, Martin Kemp, Bruce Campbell, Michael Des Barres, Jim Metzler, Sophie Ward, Marina Sirtis, David Carradine, Alexander Godunov, George ‘Buck’ Flower IMDb:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105792/
Just like the previous one, Phantasm III, also known as Lord of the Dead BooooOOOOYS, picks up right after the previous ended. So no, it wasn’t all a dream, after all. Or maybe a dream within a dream…who the hell knows. Reggie gets out of The Tall Man’s hearse while it’s moving, all messy and bloody before the car suddenly explodes. Liz dies instantly while Mike (A. Michael Baldwin) survives but gets knocked unconsciously. Reggie and Mike get surrounded by the evil Jawas and The Tall Man, who holds the severed head of Liz. Reggie unlocks a timer grenade to just end it all. I don’t want him in pieces (Mike), The Tall Man says. Well, as it looks like now, that’s the only way he’s gonna get him. The Tall Man backs off before he tells Reggie to take good care of Mike while he waits.
Mike gets taken to the hospital where he falls into a coma. It doesn’t look too good, as he’s walking towards the light in a bright blue hallway among other dead silhouettes. And I’m sure I spotted Tangina and Kane for a second. But one particular sticks out. It’s… Jodi, Mike’s dead big brother, again played by Bill Thornbury. And he looks bored of his mind. After a quick reunion, Jodi tells Mike to stay away from the light and go back. The Tall man shows up and orders him with his strict boooOOOY line delivery to turn back since he wants him alive. Mike wakes up only to get attacked by a ghoulish nurse. Mike shoves a metal pipe through her neck. Reggie comes in and gets her yellow blood spurted all over his face. A sphere forces itself out of her scalp and flies in front of Mike. An eye comes out of the Sphere (yes, they have eyes now) to take a good look at Mike before it flies out of the window. WTF. Just another day in Phantasm land.
Mike and Reg drive away to find an abandoned house to take shelter for the night. Jodi pops up again and transforms himself into a sphere. Why? Who knows. Reg is fed up with the bullshit and just wants to shoot it right away. Can’t you hear it? It’s Jodi. He’s in the ball, talking to me, says a robotic and not-so convincing A. Michael Baldwin. This is certainly not the same Baldwin we saw in the first film. His replacement from Phantasm II must have broken him. And now that Mike finally stands on his feet again, The Tall Man walks in to claim him. It’s time now, boy! Jody, or JodySphere, gets transformed by a rusty useless ball by The Tall Man, before he and Mike disappear into a dimension far, far away. Reggie takes JodySphere with him, drives through abandoned ghost towns, once again in Supernatural-style, with his 1971 Cuda to track down The Tall Man and save Mike.
A. Michael Baldwin’s return as Mike gets rather cut short as the plot takes a complete detour with a bloated but entertaining sideplot where Reggie joins forces with the boy Tim (Kevin Connors), the tough nunchaku chick Rocky (Gloria Lynne Henry) and gets some bumps in the road by a small gang of scavengers. The aspects with Tim is pretty fun though, as he lives alone in his house after his parents got killed by, yeah you guess it, The Tall Man, and rigged the whole place with death traps and small escape doorways. The idea with Tim could have worked as a movie by itself or a spin-off. There’s an awkward non-romance moment with Reg and Rocky at a motel where he gets tricked into having some kink time in handcuffs, only to dupe him so she can have a good night’s sleep. Then we have the obligatory mausoleum scenes where spheres show up and make a bloody mess. The spheres have gotten more upgrades, like eyes used as surveillance cameras, and they also have Homer Simpson-sized brains that are small enough to fit.
After the previous film underperformed, Don Coscarelli was back on the independent playground. Whether that was for the best or worse, is another question. Bringing back A. Michael Baldwin and Bill Thornbury was an obvious choice now that Coscarelli was free to do what the hell he wanted. Just too bad that the chemistry between the two brothers is like two wet socks. Things are far from what they once were in 1979, and not just with Baldwin. I bet that Coscarelli got cold feet, tossed the brothers in the backburner, rewrote the script and placed Reggie in the front seat with brand new colorful characters.
As a direct-to-video, Phantasm III looks pretty polished with some fun action, wild car chases, explosions, gore, zany sci-fi moments, nods to Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead and, overall, what makes a great Phantasm film. It doesn’t have much of the spooky atmosphere as the first two, but is still an entertaining ride with lots of 1990s charm. The leftovers of the bigger WTFs get saved for the last 15 minutes or so, where we only get more cryptic questions than answers just to open the doors for a quick cliffhanger. And honestly, the franchise could as well just have ended here, because the next two installments we got are just … bollocks. If you thought that these films weren’t confusing enough, you’ve seen nothing yet.
Just to quote The Tall Man himself: It’s Never Over!
Don Coscaralli followed up with Phantasm IV: Oblivion four years later. The only significant thing we get is a quick backstory to The Tall Man, which isn’t that interesting. Some regard this as the best in the series, for some reason, and others as the worst (that was until we got the fifth film). My main issue is that this is just a dull movie that tries to go back to its roots with a slowburn pace that goes nowhere. Poor Reggie gets a flat tire (if I remember right) and has a long dull fight scene with a zombie cop. And Mike? He’s… somewhere.
There’s no set-pieces here, just the empty desert environment of Death Valley, where Mike just drives through the dark ether, sleeps in the car and walks aimlessly in the sunny desert as if he is just having an existential midlife crisis. And maybe that’s the case. What the hell do I know. The leftover scenes from the first film, that were used for time traveling, could be a great idea if we got some more than just dead meat and fillertime to close the whole blurry mess with It was just the wind.
Then, after 17 years, we finally got Phantasm: Ravager. And, oh man… The “plot“ here is that Reggie is withering away in a nursing home with dementia where he dips in and out of dreamland where we follow him in different random scenarios to look for Mike… even though Mike visits Reggie regularly while he’s lying in his bed and looking confused. And drawing the parallels between the real Reggie Bannister’s unfortunate health condition makes this even more sad. Melancholia isn’t an unknown thick layer for the Phantasm universe, but this is just depressing, in a bad way. Another day in Phantasm land or not, I wanna go home now.
We have lots of terrible green screens in the most classy SyFy Channel-style, where you’re almost expecting David Hasselhoff to pop out and sing Hooked on a Feeling any minute. This is the worst kind of fan fiction slop one can shart out. Ravager was originally meant to be a series of short films with no other ambitions than dump it on YouTube. And it clearly shows and explains everything. The film was directed by David Hartman, and I’m a little shocked that Don Coscarelli actually was involved with the writing process here. Angus Scrimm died some months after the film was released, at the age of 89. RIP.
Sorry for closing the Phantasm reviews with such a sour note, but it is what it is. Watch the first three. They’re great. That being said, keep the balls in the air and peace out.
Writer and director: Don Coscarelli Country & year: USA, 1994 Also known as: Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead Actors: Reggie Bannister, A. Michael Baldwin, Angus Scrimm, Bill Thornbury, Gloria Lynne Henry, Kevin Connors, Cindy Ambuehl, John Davis Chandler, Brooks Gardner, Irene Roseen IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110823/
Ted Harrison is a photo journalist who’s on an expedition in Nepal, together with his girlfriend Marjorie. While making out in the tent, they get attacked by a werewolf who rips the tent open and snatches Marjorie out from it. Ted tries to save her, but the werewolf bites him. It then kills Marjorie, before the injured Ted manages to shoot it with his shotgun. Then, we head over to the States where his sister Janet lives together with her son Brett and their dog Thor. Then Ted suddenly contacts her and invites them over to his “home“ by the lake (he’s living in a camper trailer). When they get there, Thor is immediately picking up some strange scents and scurries off into the forest. There we see some severely mauled human remains hanging from a tree branch. And just where Ted has relocated, what a coincidence! Or not. It’s very obvious that Ted is now a werewolf since he got bitten.
When the authorities start investigations after finding the remains of several hikers and a forest ranger, all found in the woods where Ted has been staying, he gets afraid he’ll become a suspect, and decides to stay at Janet’s property. She senses no danger, of course…but Thor, on the other hand, can sniff out the threat immediately. While Ted is trying to keep his dark side under control by handcuffing himself to a tree in the forest at night (because here’s a twist: he doesn’t just turn into a werewolf every full moon, but every single night), this doesn’t always work and the consequences are…bloody. And messy. Thor is trying desperately to make Janet realize the danger they’re in, and is hellbent on protecting his family from this wild beast.
Bad Moon is a Canadian-American werewolf horror film from 1996, written and directed by Eric Red and produced by James G. Robinson. It is based on a novel by Wayne Smith, called Thor. And yes, this story is actually told mostly from the dog’s perspective, and this mixed with a score where several scenes have a slightly kitschy soundtrack, the result produces an odd family-movie-night vibe. But don’t be fooled, because this werewolf movie actually has both teeth and a bite to it (which unfortunately cannot be said about this year’s Wolfman movie). There’s some really vicious gore and kill scenes here, and despite some not-so-good CGI effects in a scene later on, the movie doesn’t have many issues in the visual part. I also found the “dog perspective“ to be both charming and fun, giving the movie a personal flair. This works especially well since Ted, whom I guess would have been the natural protagonist otherwise, is kind of a mixed bag when it comes to having any sympathy for him. While he struggles with his urges and tries some half-assed attempts to chain himself up at night, he also shows no restraints when it comes to putting his loved ones in danger. Like his wants and needs should conquer everyone else’s safety. Like in most werewolf movies, you do kind of feel for the character since what they’re going through is more or less out of their control, but Ted is going too far in the “ah well, can’t help this shit anyway“ direction. Or maybe the werewolf part has gotten too much control over him. So, Thor: go ahead and sic him, boy!
Bad Moon wasn’t received well upon its release. On a budget of $7 million, it only earned back $1.1. million. And despite some really bad CGI effects in a scene that was reminiscent of what you could see in Sleepwalkers, I think the remaining werewolf effects and costume were pretty neat, and that goes for the gore effects as well. I found the movie to be some nice, cheesy fun with a cute doggy hero in one of the leading roles. A werewolf horror movie with an odd charm to it. Well worth a watch!
Writer and director: Eric Red Country & year: USA, 1996 Actors: Mariel Hemingway, Michael Paré, Mason Gamble, Ken Pogue, Hrothgar Mathews, Johanna Marlowe, Gavin Buhr, Julia Montgomery Brown, Primo IMDb:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115610/
You mad, bro? Shakma the baboon clearly is, that’s for sure. And who can really blame him, as he’s trapped inside a tiresome office building with a bunch of bland NPC characters that you rather want to flush down the toilet before you take the weekend off. Cuz this fluffy firecracker has zero tolerances for stupid people… and doors. Especially doors.
The story is even more simple than any of the Friday the 13th films: A group of young medical students are preparing themselves to be locked in a lab building during one night to role-play Dungeons and Dragons. And instead of a serial killer lurking around, we have a baboon named Shakma who starts to body-count them. And if baboons weren’t hostile enough animals already, this one has just been injected with an experimental serum that increases his aggression even more. If you play with fire, you’ll get burned, as we say, and Shakma will make sure of that.
Shakma is a very cheap-looking film, even for a budget of 1,500,000 bucks. The setting here, with the grey office environment, is as dull as it can get with the esthetics and vibes that ooze like a cancelled sitcom where the actors, who’s just graduated from the Disney Channel School of Acting, have to deliver lines such as You are soooooo male! Well, excuuuuuuse me, princess…
And speaking of: the one and only reason to give this silly B(aboon) movie a watch is thanks to Shakma himself. He’s “played“ by Typhoon – a real, unstoppable, demonic force of nature who’d bite off both of the ears of Mike Tyson in a heartbeat. Typhoon is not just the most badass name ever, but the most fitting, as he literally typhoons himself throughout the whole film, where you almost feel more sorry for the doors he tries to break, as his own life was depending on it. Fluffboy is so fucking pissed and full of rage that he makes Alec Baldwin look like Postman Pat, and no one can convince me that he was a joy to work with. I bet the feelings from Typhoon were mutual. At least he got snacks constantly between the takes to calm him down and was carefully instructed by his trainer, Gerry Therrien, so he didn’t murder the whole film crew. Baboons are, after all, nothing to joke with as they’re the most aggressive monkey species out there. The actors did what they could to not make eye contact with Typhoon as that was enough to trigger him. Actress Amanda Wyss, most known for being the first victim of Freddy Krueger back in 1984, was especially very afraid of the fluffy co-star. And I’m just assuming that most of the budget went to the doors. I’d love to see an hour of B-rolls of this, which I’d guess would be more amusing than the film itself.
That being said, Shakma works fine for what it is, and there’s enough of monkey rage, body-counts, some cheap gore and some even cheaper laughs, if you’re in the right mood, to keep you entertained. This was also David Lynch’s favorite film of 1990. And after learning that, I just can’t stop picturing a little, cute, fluffy baboon dancing in a certain red room.
Directors: Hugh Parks, Tom Logan Writer: Roger Engle Country & year: USA, 1990 Actors: Typhoon, Christopher Atkins, Amanda Wyss, Ari Meyers, Roddy McDowall, Robb Edward Morris, Tre Laughlin, Greg Flowers, Ann Kymberlie, Donna Jarrett IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100589/
We’re somewhere in central Africa where a tiger has been captured to be a new supplement for a local circus in France. The circus is run by Mr. Lohman, an abusing scumbag who should be fed to the lions. The staff would agree, especially the young tiger trainer’s assistant, Yanka (Emmanuelle Escourrou). One night the new tiger explodes/bursts. Splat. Just like that. And out of the tiger we see a snake-looking parasite who slimes its way into Yanka’s trailer while she’s sleeping, and crawls into her vagina. I guess Aylmer would be jealous.
As she wakes up with morning sickness, she gets confirmed from a lab that she’s pregnant. And who’s the father? Yanka have a suspicion, but little did she know. The daily life at the circus goes as normal where Lohman acts like an unhinged lunatic who wants to pick fights with the whole staff. Yanka has had enough of the abuse and dead-end career bollshit, packs a bag, steals some cash and flees to the big open world of France.
We jump to one month later where Yanka has taken shelter in a rundown crack house apartment where she has lost her mind. I bet that happens when you have a monster baby parasite in your womb that speaks to you with a distorted telekinesis voice, and tells you to kill people so that it can feed on blood to grow. She gets an unexpected visit from Lohman, who’s tracked her down, only to be the first victim. At least, this one deserved it.
From here on we follow Yanka as she goes on a murder spree where she jumps from job to job, from the one scenario to the next. Prostitution would probably be the easiest choice to lure men, but she’s way too classy for that. She goes from being a part-time waitress to a taxi driver to, much later, becoming a police woman (in the sequel. Yes, really). Not much logic here, in other words, and the film doesn’t take itself seriously. The distinct tone is pretty clear from the start where we have a quick opening monologue from the parasite itself.
80 women auditioned for the role of Yanka, and it’s easy to see what director Alain Robak was looking for. Emmanuelle Escourrou is quite a remarkable sight, the camera is sure to show us that, but she can also act and gives a pretty raw performance. The film also has some stylish flavor to it and a uniqueness that makes it stand out rather than just being another low-budget schlock. And if you’re in for the gore, you won’t be disappointed as the film has the word blood in the title for a reason. No click-bait title, just to make that clear. Despite a middle-part that drags a bit, it gets pretty wild, and Baby Blood is overall a fun, zany and a tasteful little exploitation classic with its own spin on the pregnancy horror sub-genre.
The film became an urban hit as it sold exactly 10381 tickets in Paris before it grew up to be a half-obscure cult-classic. And speaking of obscure, in one scene we can actually spot an easter egg poster for Baby Blood 2, even though it took 19 years to make the sequel, titled Lady Blood – which, judging from the trailer, looks like an Uwe Boll film. No wonder why it has a solid 2.7 rating on IMDb from only 188 users. So… nah. I’d probably check it out if it sharts out on streaming.
Baby Blood is available on Blu-ray, also with the English dub version where you can hear Gary Oldman as the parasite.
Director: Alain Robak Writers: Serge Cukier, Alain Robak Country & year: France, 1990 Actors: Emmanuelle Escourrou, Christian Sinniger, Jean-François Gallotte, Roselyne Geslot, François Frapier, Thierry Le Portier, Rémy Roubakha, Eric Averlant, Alain Robak, Alain Chabat IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096871/
John Hobbes is a Philadelphia Police Detective, who is about to visit the serial killer Edgar Reese who is on death row. Despite this, Reese is in a pretty good mood, and during their conversation he grabs Hobbes’ hand and says something that at first is assumed to be pure gobbledygook, but is later identified as Syrian Aramaic. Later, when Reese is about to be executed, he mocks everyone who is watching. Not in Gacy-style by telling them to kiss his ass, but by singing “Time Is on My Side“ by The Rolling Stones. When the show is over, the world is one psychopath less. Or is it? Shortly afterwards, Hobbes and his partner Jonesy investigates a string of new murders which is reminiscent of Reese’s style, making them think there’s a copycat on the loose. As Hobbes digs further, he finds that something demonic is pulling the strings.
Fallen is a supernatural horror thriller from 1998, directed by Gregory Hoblit and stars Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Donald Sutherland, Embeht Davidtz, James Gandolfini and Elias Koteas. It received mixed reviews, and earned only $25.2 million on a $46 million budget. It has later started gaining a bit of a cult following where the common audience appears to be a lot more appreciative than the critics.
Supernatural horror movies about demon hunting and possessions are a dime a dozen, and if you’ve also seen the Supernatural TV series, this movie will feel like very familiar and well-trodden territory. Now, with this being a movie from 1998, it’s kind of fun to check out something that precedes the others and it definitely holds up well on its own. The supernatural elements are for the most part portrayed as a more mysterious part of the movie, mixing well with the detective elements. There’s no graphic violence or any actual scares here, but the mystery entwined with the supernatural elements makes it exciting enough for a popcorn evening. There’s also a fair amount of familiar faces here: Donald Sutherland plays a grumpy no-bullshit kind of guy as usual, and John Goodman fits well as the upbeat and jolly policeman. James Gandolfini, most known for his role as the mafia boss Tony in the TV series The Sopranos, hasn’t become the well-known mafia character yet and here he is walking around with a 70s mustache. Denzel Washington who is playing the protagonist is also doing a good job at playing a rational character who is very much forced to believe all the strange stuff that keeps happening around him.
Those who watched Nefarious (2023) saw the similarities to Fallen, and I also think that the Supernatural series might’ve been inspired as well. Still, the plot of Fallen is also similar to a movie from 1990 called The First Power, where a policeman hunts a serial killer called the Pentagram Killer, who’s been brought back to life by Satan. That movie received mostly negative reception, but ended up being a financial success anyway (then again, it had a much lower budget).
Overall, Fallen is a pretty nice supernatural thriller, which will probably feel a bit familiar if you’ve ever seen Supernatural or any of the demon-hunting movies or series that’s been released over the years. The movie is, however, pretty easy to feel comfortable with as it doesn’t overplay the supernatural events to the point of it becoming too cheesy, and it’s fast paced enough to have a lasting popcorn-entertainment effect. It also has a pretty nice twist at the end, and while I’ve gotten a bit tired of movies focusing too much on leading up to a twist, this one came more like a sly little surprise, and that’s something I can appreciate.
Director: Gregory Hoblit Writer: Nicolas Kazan Country & year: USA, 1998 Actors: Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Donald Sutherland, Embeth Davidtz, James Gandolfini, Elias Koteas, Gabriel Casseus, Michael J. Pagan, Robert Joy, Frank Medrano IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119099/
This wild, crazy, silly little flick starts with an introduction of a lone trapper who calls himself the Guardian, played by some dude with schlocky old makeup that looks like dried mud. He tells us the story with a raspy Robert Englund-ish voiceover where he once upon a time came into a battle with none other than the mythical snow beast Wendigo at Manitou Island in Michigan. And this island is no joke as it has a snowy mountain shaped like a human skull. C o o l.
After he defeated the beast, he dedicated the rest of his life to protecting the world from its resurrection, like a Sentinel, if you will. And by doing so, he marks the beast’s burial ground with a circle of skulls of the victims to create a spiritual shield. Clever. But, of course, if the circle is ever broken, he’ll be reborn and more powerful than ever. So there’s no time to retire.
The Guardian is now a hundred years old and lives as a hermit in his small cabin to guard the sacred burial ground. Too bad that the old fool never thought of having a loaded shotgun, just in case. Because this is America, after all, where there’s not only Wendigos and other fairytale monsters to be highly aware of. And the ones to come here and ruin his life’s work and screw everything up, is none other than two trigger-happy hunters in the holy name of the Second Amendment. One of them, the most trigger-happy one, is played by Ron Asheton, the guitarist and co-founder of the legendary rock band The Stooges. And speaking of: the whole soundtrack is blasted with rock music from obscure artists. Because I can’t proudly say that I’ve ever heard of Elvis Hitler. No songs from Iggy Pop here, though. Anyway: They shoot one of the skulls that breaks the circle before shooting the old man.
His final words are The circle … has been … broken. The wind … whispers. Wendigo… God bless, thank for your service and rest in peace. It’s full nonstop B-movie showtime from here on as the Guardian’s body decomposes in some classic stop-motion fashion (just like we saw in the first Evil Dead from 1984) before his possessed skeleton attacks the hunters. They cut the skeleton’s head of with an axe, but then comes a big hand and grabs one of the hunters who ends up decapitated. Back on the mainland the young woman Sandy gets her beauty sleep interrupted when the ghost of the Guardian gives her a visit to pass her the torch. She gets on a plane to the island to close the circle, and her job gets more complicated when a group of drunk guys having a party in a cabin ends up conjuring the wendigo from a ghoulish shapeshifter with a wig to his full glory form.
We also have a chili stew that turns into a monster. And I should be careful with my words from here on as I drink chili beer as I’m writing this …
Frostbiter: The Wrath of the Wendigo was made sometime in the late 1980s after a group of friends got a complete life-changer after watching Evil Dead II and wanted to become filmmakers themselves. And who wouldn’t, after watching that film for the first time, whether you’re 14 or an old fart. The film collected dust for some years after Troma Entertainment finally came to the rescue and gave it a VHS distribution in 1995. In Japan, the film was released under the title Shiryo no harawata (which is simply translated as Evil Dead) to cash-in on Sam Raimi’s trilogy, in some good old shameless Italian style. The true Japanese counterpart to Evil Dead, however, was released around the same time with the colorful title Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell.
The love and homage to Evil Dead really shines through where they do their best to imitate the distinct loose camerawork and chaotic atmosphere. The Troma vibe is also all over the place, though, so don’t expect any creep factor. Instead we have full on dumb, silly comedy performed by a handful of enthusiastic amateur actors who obviously had a blast. The dialogues are even dumber. Fun stuff, in other words, to spend with tacos and beer on a Friday night. There’s also a lot of ambitions in the effects’ apartment with some cute miniature sets, matte paintings, prosthetic effects, and of course the Wendigo monster itself, that could be straight from a Ray Harryhausen film. Some really impressive work here, for sure, where every penny of the shoe-string budget was wisely spent. The audio mixing has some serious issues, though, as the music drowns out the dialogues. So thanks for the subtitles.
The film was recently released on Blu-ray from Vinegar Syndrome and could be conjured on, yes, you guessed it – Tubi.
Director: Tom Chaney Writers: Tom Chaney, Rick Cioffi, Steve Quick Country & year: USA, 1995 Actors: Ron Asheton, Lori Baker, Patrick Butler, Devlin Burton, Tom Franks, Alan Madlane, John Bussard IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116371/
– If you think that’s bad, wait until you get my bill.
Evan Rendell (Larry Drake) is a mentally deranged man who manages to escape the mental asylum (a time when mental asylums still existed) and return to his abandoned little rundown mansion on the outskirts of the small town of Moorehigh. We learn that Rendell is the son of the town’s previous doctor, and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. His father did some pretty shady things to his patients, such as stealing their hearts and such, for reasons I won’t spoil, because there’s actually a fun little twist to the whole thing. But his approach to his patients with zero empathy, sure had its impact on Rendell Jr’s frontal lobe. So in order to continue his father’s legacy, he gets a list of names so he can sneak into the townsfolk’s homes at night to pay them an unexpected doctor visit. Dad would be proud.
And here’s the big question; why the nickname Dr. Giggles? That’s because he giggles in a demented high-pitched note, as if someone tickles his ballsack with the tip of a feather – or getting an unexpected blowjob while standing on a podium, if you take the reference. It’s a pretty distinct kind of giggle that I believe that only Larry Drake could pull off. While it’s pretty gimmicky and goofy at times, it puts an extra flair on his twisted personality, and adds more creep factor to his stone-cold Slavic-like face. The film itself isn’t creepy for one second though, but Larry Drake makes up for an oddly entertaining villain with some cheesy one-liners. He’s maybe best known for being the antagonist, Duran, in the first two Darkman films.
But there’s no slasher without a big group of teens, some meat balloons, or at least a final girl. And since it happens to be the start of the summer break, the timing of Dr. Giggles return couldn’t be more perfect. Here we follow the 19-year-old main protagonist, Jennifer Campbell. She has a serious heart condition that prevents her from living out her final year as a teen to the fullest. Well, thank God that Dr. Giggles is finally in town, which she eventually will get the un-pleasure to meet. Jennifer is played by the Charmed star Holly Marie Combs, who actually was 19 during the filming, and not a 27-year-old pretending to be 19. That’s rare, as most of the teens in slashers, especially from the 1980s, look like they’re in their late 30s. Jennifer Aniston auditioned for the role as the final girl, but luckily she didn’t have to wait for long to make her big film debut in Leprechaun. Let’s have a long, sarcastic giggle for that one.
Although Dr.Giggles was released in 1992, it has the vibe and the standard formula of a 80s slasher. Thus, the film did not perform at the box office as the slasher genre had gone into hiatus with a severe hangover alongside with the hair metal bands. That’s a shame as there could be a fun franchise to develop here. Oh, well. Dr. Giggles is an enjoyable little slasher flick with some great gore, silly humor – and bonkers performance by, again, Larry Drake, who alone makes the film a standout. And while we’re speaking about doctors, also give The Dentist a visit for a check-up, because health is important, you know…
Dr. Giggles is available on Blu-ray from Shout! Factory and is maybe to be found on Tubi.
Director: Manny Coto Writers: Manny Coto, Graeme Whifler Country & year: USA, 1992 Actors: Larry Drake, Holly Marie Combs, Cliff De Young, Glenn Quinn, Keith Diamond, Richard Bradford, Michelle Johnson, John Vickery, Nancy Fish, Sara Melson, Zoe Trilling IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104139/
Elizabeth receives a message about her father’s recent death on an island convent. This island is her place of birth, but she hasn’t been there since she was a child. It appears that her father used to give regular donations to the convent, and as her father’s sole beneficiary she will now have to determine whether these should continue. Elizabeth then travels to the place, but a heavy rainstorm has stopped all the traffic to the island. She ask one of the boat owners if he can take her over, but he refuses. Strangely, her conversation was overheard by a fisherman who offers to take her to the island, as he’s not afraid of the bad weather. Once there, she meets the ancient Mother Superior, who is (of course) blind. She will be staying at the convent, and a sweet and friendly nun named Sarah will be her guide. When they visit a decaying library, Elizabeth notices an illustration of a demonic creature, and a painting of two little girls and a pagan amulet. Soon, all kinds of weird nightmarish shit start to happen, and Elizabeth is bound to find out the disturbing secrets about the place, and her own connection to it.
Dark Waters (which is also known as Dead Waters in an American home-video edition) is a horror film from 1993 directed by Mariano Baino, co-written with Andy Bark. It was based on a short story by Andy, one that was inspired by his childhood visit to Staithes in North Yorkshire. The film is also one of the first western films shot in Ukraine after the collapse of the Soviet Union, and the process was a truly troubled one. The system there created some bumps in the road, with some travel problems and even multiple coup attempts where Mariano was awoken by gun fire while in Moscow for the dubbing. Still, the filming location provided cheap sets with spectacular locations for a low cost, and for a movie like this there’s no doubt that locations and scenery really puts the film up several notches.
There are some obvious Lovecraftian elements in Dark Waters, or “Cave of a 1000 candles“ if you will because I haven’t seen so many candles being lit during a film production, ever. Must have been one hell of a job to lit all of those. Everything that surrounds our protagonist feels old, wet and otherworldly. Much of it appears very dreamlike, or nightmarish would probably be a better term, as all the locations and the people Elizabeth meets feel so incredibly…off. Everything from the strange location of the convent to the even stranger people she encounters. While obviously helped by great locations, the film is beautifully shot and with a competent and strong focus on contrast to enhance the mood as much as possible. There’s also some instances of decent gore, so another thumbs up for that.
What struck me the most while watching Dark Waters was that it has a very distinct 70’s vibe all over it, and if I didn’t know that it was a movie from 1993 I could have sworn it to be another hidden 70s gem. Instead, it’s anther hidden 90s gem, because this film is unfairly obscure and I’m quite sure that if it had been made as a throwback film these days, it would have garnered a lot more attention. Speaking of these days, there’s a 2023 film called Consecration, directed by Christopher Smith (Creep, 2004 and Triangle, 2009) where the plot looks very much alike this film. Not sure if that is some kind of unofficial remake though, as I haven’t yet seen it.
Dark Waters is an old-fashioned occult thriller, with a Lovecraftian and slightly surreal vibe to it. While the story is a bit murky, the film is all very much about style, mood and atmosphere. And candles, of course. Lots of ’em.
Director: Mariano Baino Writers: Mariano Baino, Andy Bark Country & year: Russia/UK, 1993 Actors: Louise Salter, Venera Simmons, Mariya Kapnist, Lubov Snegur, Albina Skarga, Valeriy Bassel, Pavel Sokolov, Anna Rose Phipps, Tanya Dobrovolskaya, Valeriy Kopaev, Ludmila Marufova IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109550/
Y’all know the tales from the crypt. But you’ve seen nuthin’ yet, cuz here’s the tales from tha motthafuckin’ HOoOD! … and that’s enough of me trying to talk like someone from the ghetto.
Stack, Ball and Bulldog are three young aspiring drug dealers who are on their way to meet Mr. Simms at his funeral home. And this Mr. Simms dude is a trip and as eccentric as he looks, something our homeboys are soon to experience when they get invited to his gothic and dim-lighted cozy home. And I bet the thick layer of weed rips those nostrils hard. Could I have some, please? Anyway, Stack, Ball and Bull are here to buy some drugs that Mr. Simms claims to have found in an alley. Mr. Simms has hidden the drugs somewhere in the house (and let us guess: the basement), but before we go down there, the old man has some stories to tell, all of which are based on the recent dead bodies lying in the caskets. All of them are actually true, of course, because don’t think otherwise. And as Mr. Simms says; Death… it comes in many strange packages.
The first story, called Rogue Cop Revelation, takes us to the gritty urban city streets which you can guess by the title what is about. Yup, police brutality and the every-day racism protected by the badge, and even more protected by the corrupted code that is Blue wall of silence. Yes, that is actually a thing. Protect, serve and God bless America. Here we meet the rookie cop Clarence (Anthony Griffith) and he couldn’t have a rougher start to his job when he one night is out patrolling with his scumbag partner Strom (Wings Hauser) and some other cops. Because Clarence is actually black, you see, and Strom is a first-class, rage-filled racist. Clarence gets set in a corner when Strom and the other cops beat the hell out of a black man for no reason. They beat him so badly till he dies, and then dump him with his car in the ocean by the docks to make it look like an accident.
So what now, Clarence? Do you break the code and rat on your colleagues, or pretend this never happened? He quits his job in guilt and shame and becomes an alcoholic. The comedic elements start to hit when Clarence returns from his grave, by reasons I won’t spoil, and takes his sweet revenge on the cops.
The second story is titled Boys Do Get Bruised, and here we’re in a relatively quiet, middle-class suburb area where we meet the family of four: mom Sissy, dad Carl and their young introverted boy, Walter. He also wears some bruises that catch the eye of his teacher, Richard (played by the director himself, Rusty Cundieff), and he gets concerned about his well-being. Especially when he also gets bullied at school.
Richard tries to have a chat with Walter to ask him how he got those bruises, which are certainly not from the bullies. He says that a monster comes and terrorizes him while being in bed at night. And if we’re to believe him, we’re actually talking about a real boogely monster that he also makes some cute drawings of. The subject here is pretty obvious, here spiced up with metaphors and a batshit crazy conclusion that even Mr. Simms couldn’t come up with. And I also dare to guess that last year’sCobweb took some inspiration from this.
KKK Comeuppance is the third story, and my favorite. Because…well, I can’t say without spoiling. But what little I can say is that here we have the sweet and short biopic of none other than the white supremacist, and former grand wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, David Duke. Here he’s credited as Duke Metger as a combination of the neo-Nazi and founder of the White Aryan Resistance, Tom Metger, just to kill two snakes with one stone.
So, here we have the pleasure of meeting Duke, played by an energetic Corbin Bernsen (The Dentist), a pompous and arrogant senator who’s running for governor in Louisiana. As an ex-member of the KKK and all that shadiness, people aren’t happy, and to add insult to injury, Duke is preparing his office at an old, historical plantation. One of the protesters, who had ancestors living there, won’t let that happen, and has a special plan for him that includes, yes you guessed it – Voodoo, which seems to work every time. This one gets pretty wild with some great use of stop-motion effects that would even make Charles Band drool like an infant. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the song Voodoo by Body Count.
Hard-Core Convert is the fourth and final story. And there isn’t much fun to have with this one, to be honest. But it’s a solid and well-made segment, though, that spits some hard red-pilled truths about the black gang communities. It’s another day in the hood when a gang-related shooting episode escalates, where Jerome gets shot, survives and gets thrown in jail. After being in the tank for four years, he gets met by Dr. Cushing (a nice, little nod to Dr. Van Helsing Peter Cushing) who offers him a plea-deal if he participates in an experimental rehabilitation program. He, of course, takes the offer, and what happens next is a more twisted version of A Clockwork Orange, where Jerome gets put into a sensory deprivation chamber to get confronted by all the people he’d killed over the years, all of whom are black. One of his victims is also a little girl. A bleak segment, this one. Now I want some more weed.
But while this was the final story, we have an encore here. And boy, o’boy … nothing can prepare you for this!
And that’s pretty much how far I can go into each segment without spoiling the whole damn thing. But you see the pattern of social commentary here, told with a morbid and great sense of humor. Black humor in the purest form, if you will, where a ridiculous, zany and charismatic Clarence Williams III steals the entire show between the segments with his electric performance as the mortician Simms. He looks like a bizarro version of Samuel L. Jackson who’s just slipped into a pool filled with cocaine. Tales from the Hood is overall a wild ride and a timeless, little classic that seems as fresh and relevant today, much due to the subject matters.
Director: Rusty Cundieff Writers: Rusty Cundieff, Darin Scott Country & year: USA, 1995 Actors: Clarence Williams III, Joe Torry, De’aundre Bonds, Samuel Monroe Jr., Wings Hauser, Tom Wright, Anthony Griffith, Michael Massee, Duane Whitaker, David Alan Grier, Brandon Hammond, Rusty Cundieff, Paula Jai Parker, Corbin Bernsen IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114609/
Waxwork II starts immediately where the first film left us (spoiler alert if you haven’t already seen the first movie!) where Mark and Sarah are escaping the waxwork that’s burning down to the ground. While they board a taxi and get the hell out of there, we see that they’re not the only ones who were able to escape: the severed hand from the zombie exhibit is crawling out of the space, Thing-style, and follows Sarah to her home. There, we get introduced to her abusive a-hole stepfather, who gets killed by the zombie hand with a hammer. Who gets the blame? Sarah, of course, and then everything is turned into some murder-trial-defense scenario. Mark, desperate to save his girlfriend, tries to find a way to convince the jury that a zombie hand really killed her stepfather, but in order to do so he needs to prove that such a Thing exists in the first place, and thus Mark must travel through several worlds in order to gather evidence that can save Sarah. Aaand here we go into total sci-fi/fantasy/cosmic/something-something hodgepodge that only makes the slightest sense if you’ve been dosing on some magic mushrooms.
