Your suffering will be legendary ― even on Earth! Yeah, sure, if Earth is such a green-grassed utopia to begin with, especially the Rotten Apple that is New York. And speaking of: the young, douchey pussyhound and goth-nightclub owner, J. P. Monroe (let’s just call him Jay Pee), has bought the grotesque pillar we saw at the end of the previous film, before it would be locked away in Warrens’ Occult Museum. After he fucks some chick, hooked chains flies out of the pillar and rips her skin off, and Pinhead, with only his face popping out of it, eats her. Similar to the previous films, he needs to eat human flesh in order to become whole. Only here though, he’s a demon that would be set free in the real world, in a goth nightclub, even. How fitting. Jay Pee becomes Pinhead’s bitch who gets ordered to serve him more bodysuits to eat. Not the most difficult task since New York has plenty.
Then we meet our protagonist, where the formula began using the reporter/detective trope to slog us through rest of the sequels. Here, however, we have the young news reporter Joey who has recurring nightmares of her dad being killed in Vietnam, and we can say that the plot thickens as much as it gets muddy where we eventually have two Pinheads, one good and one evil. Joey gets in possession of the Puzzle box, thanks to the clubgoer Terri, and finds a videotape of Kirsty (from the first two films) who explains how to use it in order to send Pinhead back to hell. When Pinhead (the evil one) finally gets out, he turns into pure slasher villain-mode and collects more bodycounts than the whole franchise combined. Pinhead goes on a blasphemy spree, enters a church where he mocks the crucifixion of Christ behind the altar before the place explodes. The conservatives in North Carolina, where the film was shot, had a problem with that. So yeah, Pinhead is the man of the hour here where he has the most screentime in the whole franchise and gets his time to really shine, spiced-up with some colorful one-liners.
And then we have our new group of Cenobites, which look more like something from a canceled Hellraiser Saturday morning cartoon show. Say hello to Doc the Cameraface, who has a camera merged in half of his face. And since this is the early 1990s, what could be more cool than DJ the CD face, slicing people with CD’s? So rad! And watch out for Rick the Bartender who fries your face as he spits flames from his cocktail shake beverage. And we can’t have a ’90s film without some big explosions. The comedic and playful tone lingers all over the film, as you’d expect when we have the director of the Waxworks films in the director chair. Not for everybody’s taste, but it at least still manage to feel like a Hellraiser film where there still was some respect for the source material, and is far from boring. The film ends perfectly with the song Hellraiser (of course) performed by Motörhead , and the franchise should also end with that note. The success at the box-office suggested otherwise where the brutal humiliation ritual of the franchise was about to begin.
Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), or Hellraiser in Space if you like, became the final theatrical release of the franchise. That film was directed by Kevin Yagher the legendary Alan Smithee and also the final Hellraiser where Clive Barker was involved before the smell of bullshite got too strong and jumped ship… so that maybe speaks for itself.
What we have next is six more sequels, and…wooooof. This is the worst kind of early, ultra-cheap, soulless 2000s direct-to-video toilet slop imaginable: Hellraiser: Inferno (2000), Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002), Hellraiser: Deader (2005), Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005) At this point I’m actually surprised that they just didn’t go for Hellraiser: Hellraiser. Fun fact: Inferno is the directorial debut of Scott Derrickson, but even he couldn’t get Pinhead back on track. Hellworld was the last film where Doug Bradley said fuck this bollox, I’m outta here. But it didn’t stop there, as we got the worst of them all served on a paper plate: Hellraiser: Revelations (2011) ― a baffling amateur show in all aspects and way too boring to be so-bad-it’s-good. Then we have and finally the last one, Hellraiser: Judgement (2018). Have yet to see the Hulu remake from 2021.
So what really went wrong with Hellraiser? Simple and boring answer: the first four since Inferno were originally written as standalone crime/thrillers, not as Hellraiser films. The elements with Pinhead was shoved in at the last five minutes and slammed on the posters, with the Hellraiser title, in order to cash-in and fool us gullible audiences. How they managed to poop out four of these turds with Doug Bradley onboard, is a mystery box of its own. But showbiz is showbiz and there’s always rent to pay. Your suffering will be legendary by watching them all in one sitting without any pauses, unless you’re masochistic enough.
Director: Anthony Hickox
Writer: Peter Atkins, Tony Randel
Country & year: UK/USA, 1992
Actors: Terry Farrell, Paula Marshall, Kevin Bernhardt, Doug Bradley, Ken Carpenter, Brent Bolthouse, Sharon Percival, Philip Hyland, David Young, Peter Atkins, Ashley Laurence
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095294/
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Corey Thornton has just inherited a mansion from his recently deceased father, and travels to Louisiana to check it out. Upon his arrival at the grand estate, he meets with a beautiful young girl which is described as “jailbait” (but who is clearly in her mid-20s…) and his father’s live-in housekeeper, who is the mother of said girl. And of course, a black-gloved and somewhat fishy-looking lawyer. Corey discovers that his father has written a will which includes a description of how the old man has, supposedly, found a way to return back from the dead, and in doing so he needs the help of his son. Corey soon ends up at the local pub/brothel called Tonk’s, where he meets a witchy prostitute who harbors the secrets of black magic. And she turns people into birds if she feels like it. Corey is now obsessed with the task of fulfilling his dead father’s wish of bringing him back to life, and seeks help from the strange people in the weird voodoo-brothel in the bayou.





