Arachnid (2001)

ArachnidJoli Mercer is piloting a stealth plane in the South Pacific, when a translucent spacecraft suddenly appears (in a scene with such godawful CGI effects it could have belonged in The Amazing Bulk). Poor Joli crashes with the thing as his plane begins to malfunction, but his bad luck doesn’t end there. He crashes on an island, together with the alien ship. He sees a desperate-looking translucent alien-thing which is suddenly attacked by a giant spider monster, which then kills Joli as well. Then, ten months later, Joli’s sister is on the search for him. She’s been hired to be the pilot of a medical expedition who are doing research after natives on the island have started dying from an unknown virus. Upon reaching the island, the plane starts malfunctioning and they need to do an emergency landing on the beach. From there on, they have to trudge through the jungle in order to reach their destination, and they discover that the insects around the area have mutated into large and more deadly creatures. One of the guys in the expedition gets attack by giant ticks that starts burrowing into his body, and a giant centipede is killing one of the natives. And no, they didn’t crash-land on Skull Island. Aside from all the horrible creatures, the biggest threat of them all is a giant spider: the killer arachnid from outer space.

 

You know a movie is a stinker when the director himself says he only did it for the money… I basically did it for the money and it was a stupid script … I got to live in Barcelona for six months and, you know, they paid me well. Everything was good except I had to go to work everyday and shoot a dumb script. I haven’t seen that one since, you know, I made it. And some people say ‘Oh well, it’s actually better than you think’, but I basically tell people to avoid that one is what Jack Sholder (A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, The Hidden) said about this film. Alright, then, that’s a way to wash your hands clean of something. We all need food on the table and can’t always work on passion projects…

 

Arachnid was released in 2001, and was the second film to be released under the Fantastic Factory Label (the first one being Faust: Love of the Damned from 2000) which was created by Brian Yuzna (Society, The Dentist) and Julio Fernandez in Spain. It was written by Mark Sevi, and then re-written together with Yuzna. The main spider design and the other creatures that used practical effects, were created by Steve Johnson. The film received a very negative reception upon its release, and while it’s easy to see this is one of those movies, it’s actually a bunch of fun, much thanks to the practical effects which are actually pretty decent and feels like a nice little throwback. Already from the funnily sloppy opening scene you know what you’re in for, so better brace yourself for leaving your brain on the shelf for a little while. As we get introduced to character by character, one more clichéd than the other, the killings and creatures are what’s the highlight of the movie. There isn’t a huge amount of gore here (which is a shame, really, as that could have added an extra spritz on the already goofy concept), but there’s still some nice scenes, especially the one involving the ticks that eat their way out. Yum.

 

What makes the movie suffer from being a truly fun B-horror movie, is that the pacing is a bit too slow and the characters feel a bit too dull. A quicker pace, more interesting characters and more kills could have lifted the movie up several notches. Yes, it would still have been a bad movie, but a bit more enjoyable. Overall though, Arachnid is a fun enough creature feature B-movie with some charming old-school effects.

 

Arachnid Arachnid Arachnid

 

Director: Jack Sholder
Writer: Mark Sevi
Country & year: Spain, USA, Mexico, 2001
Actors: Chris Potter, Alex Reid, José Sancho, Neus Asensi, Ravil Isyanov, Luis Lorenzo Crespo, Rocqueford Allen, Jesús Cabrero, Robert Vicencio
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0271972/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Trick ‘r Treat (2007)

Trick 'r TreatIt’s Halloween, the best time of the year! Well, for us Horror Ghouls at least. And for Sam, a cute little trick-or-treater you’ll get to know better here in Trick ‘r Treat.

 

In the fictional town of Warren Valley, Ohio, several people are celebrating Halloween night. The stories here are told in a nonlinear narrative, and first we meet Emma and her husband Henry. Emma is a Halloween hater (yup, one of those), and blows out the jack-o’-lantern before midnight. This is not according to Halloween rules! And she’ll soon find out the consequences. Then we meet Steven Wilkins, who is a serial killer who sticks to his own rules and traditions on Halloween. Just a reminder to all the kids out there to check their candy. We later also meet a group of teenagers, who visits a flooded quarry where the urban legend of the Halloween School Bus Massacre was supposed to have taken place. And then, we have a group of young women in sexy costumes, where one of them wears a Little Red Riding Hood outfit. Hmmm…I wonder if she’s going to meet any wolves tonight. Then, of course, there’s little Sam, who is always nearby. Some of the stories and characters have a relation to each other, and all will be revealed before Halloween night is over.

 

Trick ‘r Treat is a horror anthology film from 2007, written and directed by Michael Dougherty in his directorial debut. The film was delayed for two years, and only had a limited number of screenings at film festivals. It grossed only $27,909 on a budget of $12 million. Ouchie. Over the years, though, the film has since garnered a cult following. Fans have been teased with a sequel for several years but so far nothing seems to happen. Only time will show. In the meantime, Dougherty directed Krampus (2015) and Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019).

 

If you’re a Halloween lover, like any horror ghoul with the slightest ounce of self-respect does, then this movie is certain to feel like a treat. Like many horror anthologies out there, including The Mortuary Collection and Tales from the Hood, all the stories are in some way interwoven with the rest. Aside from the aforementioned anthologies however, this one is told in a nonlinear way and mixes the stories a bit back and forth. It doesn’t require too much attention to get the coherence, so don’t worry about it being too hard to follow. There’s a little bit of twists and turns, including some characters appearing in one story only to prove a significance later on in one of the other stories. It’s all pure popcorn entertainment, never even remotely frightening but offers a little bit of gore here and there and a lot of lighthearted amusing fun. The cute little character Sam is derived from the word Samhain which is the ancient Celtic festival of the dead. It’s from Samhain that the modern-day Halloween is derived. In this movie they’ve taken the name a little further and turned him into the most adorable little deity. Just don’t be fooled by his cuteness, though, he sure knows how to play tricks on those who disrespect the traditions!

 

The actors playing the deformed children from the Halloween School Bus Massacre segment all had real disabilities or injuries, and they apparently had a total blast during the filming. And we also got one of those famous gumball rolling down the stairs scenes, which is of course a nod to the excellent ghost horror movie The Changeling (1980), and the cameraman working on this sequence also filmed that exact scene in that film.

 

Trick ‘r Treat is a solid Halloween movie, with enough ghoulish pleasantries to satisfy the most. Happy Halloween!

 

Trick 'r Treat Trick 'r Treat Trick 'r Treat

 

Writer and director: Michael Dougherty
Country & year: USA/Canada, 2007
Actors: Dylan Baker, Rochelle Aytes, Quinn Lord, Lauren Lee Smith, Moneca Delain, Tahmoh Penikett, Brett Kelly, Britt McKillip, Isabelle Deluce, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Alberto Ghisi, Samm Todd, Anna Paquin, Brian Cox
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0862856/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Monster House (2006)

Monster HouseIt’s only one day before Halloween, and 12-year-old Dustin James (or D.J. for short) is busy spying on his creepy elderly neighbor, Horace Nebbercracker. He sees that the old man steals a little girl’s bicycle, and that’s a habit that’s been going on for quite some time. Whenever something enters Nebbercracker’s lawn, it’s his. This same day, D.J.’s parents leave for a convention, and the teenage girl Elizabeth (aka Zee) will babysit him. When Dustin and his friend Charles Chowder play basketball outside, they end up losing it on Nebbercracker’s lawn. Ooops, we all know where this is headed. Still, D.J. tries to retrieve it before the old, cranky neighbor notices it, but too late. Nebbercracker comes out of his old house, furious like a bat from hell and wants to give these snotty brats a piece of his mind! He goes completely crazy, lifts D.J. up while shouting you think you can just terrorize my lawn?! while the boy desperately tries to claim his innocence. Then the inevitable happens: the old geezer suffers a heart attack and is taken away in an ambulance.

 

That same evening, Zee’s boyfriend, Bones, pays a visit and starts talking about rumors relating to Nebbercracker, about how he supposedly cannibalized his wife. He also says that Nebbercracker once stole his kite. Later, when D.J. spies on the now empty house across the street, he notices that when Bones leaves the house, a kite is coming out of the front door of the old Nebbercracker house. Bones goes to retrieve it, and is then dragged into the house. D.J. starts to believe that the old house is now haunted, and the next day they save a candy-selling girl called Jenny from becoming another one of the house’s victims. No one believes them about the monster house of course, especially since today is Halloween, so it’s all up to them to stop the house from claiming more victims.

 

Monster House is an animated supernatural horror comedy from 2006, directed by Gil Kenan as his directorial debut. Originally, the movie was set up to be at DreamWorks, but one thing lead to another and he ended up having a meeting with Steven Spielberg and Sony Pictures Entertainments picked up the project. The movie was filmed using a technique called motion-capture, where the actors performed the characters’ movements and lines while they were being linked to sensors. And while there were a bunch of parents that got pissed off due to the movie’s horror elements and dark themes, it received generally positive reviews and grossed $142 million worldwide on a budget of $75 million.

 

Despite being an animated PG-rated movie, it’s one that can be appreciated by adults just as much as the younger ones. It does not only have an intriguing story and a creepy mystery, it also has very charming and likable characters where they’ve done a great job at matching the perfect voices. There’s a sense of both horror and adventure, with an 80s throwback style that fits so well with everything. This being a children’s movie and all, the horror elements are still very prominent and there’s even some nods to Hitchcock’s Psycho and Rear Window. It’s got a predominantly dark theme, which gets even darker than you might initially expect, and kudos to them for having the balls to take it all out. The final part of the movie does go totally wild and proves that it aimed to live up to the title, and while this strays a bit from the more subdued horror elements from earlier in the movie where everything about the house was still a mystery, it’s a very fitting way to end it. After the final showdown we even get a cute little aww-moment.

 

Monster House is a great animated thrill ride for the young yet not-so-young audience, and I’m afraid this one was very much lightning in a bottle which we’ll never get close to seeing again. An animated movie filled with the sense of adventure reminiscent of what could be found in movies like The Goonies (1985) and filled with an actual horror story and horror elements, very much working as a perfect introduction to scary movies to a young audience…yeah, I doubt that’ll ever happen again.

 

Kenan later made the Poltergeist remake from 2015, and his latest release was Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire this year. There’s no doubt that Monster House remains his strongest entry into the horror genre. Even to this day it has kept its spooky charm, and I’m sure many of the children who were originally frightened by watching this one when it was released back in 2006, now remembers it fondly. Well, that’s at least how I remember the movies that scared me when I was a kid…

 

Monster House Monster House Monster House

 

Director: Gil Kenan
Writers: Dan Harmon, Rob Schrab, Pamela Pettler
Country & year: USA, 2006
Voice actors: Ryan Whitney, Steve Buscemi, Mitchel Musso, Catherine O’Hara, Fred Willard, Sam Lerner, Woody Schultz, Ian McConnel, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Lee, Spencer Locke, Kevin James
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385880/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Drag Me to HellThe year is 1969, and the young medium Shaun San Dena gets a visit from a desperate couple who wants her to save their son. After having stolen a necklace from the gypsies, he’s fallen ill and have started hearing evil voices. Before she can even start a proper séance, the boy is quite literally dragged to Hell to never be seen again. Then, we fast forward to present day in Los Angeles, where Christine Brown works as a bank loan officer and is hungry for a promotion to become assistant branch manager. Her boss gives her some advice: she will prove her worth if she can show herself as someone being able to make tough decisions. She gets her chance pretty soon afterwards, when an elderly woman named Sylvia Ganush asks for a third extension on her mortgage. Despite Ganush literally begging on her knees, Christine refuses her pleas because she wants to show off her tough decision making to her boss. Promotion, here we come! Later, in the parking lot, the elderly woman decides to give Christine a payback for shaming her and denying her pleas for help, and after a long struggle Ganush rips a button from Christine’s coat and curses it. Uh-oh. Christine is soon haunted by a dark spirit, which is attacking and tormenting her. She decides to beg Ganush for forgiveness, but before she can do so she finds out that the old woman has passed away. Not only that, but the curse that’s been cast upon her will have her tormented by a powerful demon for three days, before she will be dragged to Hell.

 

Drag Me to Hell is a supernatural horror film from 2009, directed and co-written by Sam Raimi with Ivan Raimi. The film premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, and became an immediate success. It grossed $90.8 million worldwide on a $30 million budget, and won awards and received generally very favorable reviews. Originally, the story for the film had been written 10 years prior to the film going into production, under the working title The Curse. After finishing the script for the film, Raimi was busy with the Spider-Man film series so it took a while before the film could be pushed forward. Raimi wanted it to be a PG-13 film, with less gore than his earlier horror films, stating that this time he wanted to do something different. He wanted to make a suspenseful movie with wild moments and a lot of dark humor, and in all of this he definitely succeeded.

 

The movie starts with a punch during the opening scene, where a little boy is quite literally dragged to the depths of Hell itself to burn forever while his terrified parents can’t do anything but watch in horror. And all over a stolen necklace…not exactly eternal damnation-worthy, but curses aren’t always supposed to be fair. Seeing this we know what Christine is at risk of, which heightens the suspense. While the protagonist isn’t all that innocent (she could have helped the old lady, but she chose to focus on her promotion instead), her actions are still not so awful that we think she deserves to be cast into Hell. Yes, we root for her, but we also can’t help but watch in glee when things turn into total demonic frolic mayhem, with scenes that are both funny and delightfully spooky. While the film does have its cheesy moments, its all done with a lot of excitement and manages to blend the dark humor with the horror elements very nicely. It’s all done in a boisterous Halloween spirit, managing to be a great load of fun. The special effects used in the film is a good variation of different techniques: green screen, prosthetics, puppets and cgi, and different effect houses were utilized, including Phil Tippet‘s studio.

 

Drag me to Hell is a blast from start to finish, and a perfect watch during the Halloween season!

 

In early 2023, Raimi revealed that Ghost House Pictures was actively trying to come up with ideas for a sequel. Well…we’re now in the late part of 2024, and while Drag me to Hell 2 is listed on IMDb, there’s absolutely no info about this sequel at all. So I’m not holding my breath for that one.

 

Drag Me to Hell Drag Me to Hell Drag Me to Hell

 

Director: Sam Raimi
Writers: Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi
Country & year: USA, 2009
Actors: Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver, Dileep Rao, David Paymer, Adriana Barraza, Chelcie Ross, Reggie Lee, Molly Cheek, Bojana Novakovic, Kevin Foster, Alexis Cruz
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1127180/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

Nazis at the Center of the EarthHave you always wondered why every damn serial killer in slasher movies tends to walk after their victims, like they’re about to shit their pants, rather than running? Well, Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel) is finally here to explain.

 

Being a top-tier serial killer like Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers or Art the Clown, is not just about grabbing a weapon and going on a killing-spree, you see. A ton of preparation, planning and complex study of the chosen victims to the final girl has to be examined to the smallest details. And be sure to eat well and do your cardio exercise regularly, cause this is not a job for out-of-shape lard asses.

 

A small group of young film students led by Taylor (Angela Goethals) has gotten the privilege to follow the aspiring serial killer Leslie Vernon. He’s a month away from his upcoming murder-spree where he’s planning to kill a group of kids while they are having a party in an old abandoned house, and the film crew are invited to document the whole process. Sounds like the standard slasher premise we’ve seen two thousand times already. Vernon looks like a little brother of Andrew Divoff and Michael C. Hall, and like his role models, he has a tragic backstory to paint his alter ego with. We get a never-seen-before glimpse of the secret underworld of serial killers when the film crew gets to meet Vernon’s best friend and colleague, Eugene (Scott Wilson). He’s a retired veteran and has learned Vernon some tricks. We don’t know much of Eugene’s many roles in the slasher arena throughout the decades other than there’s some theory that he’s actually Billy Lenz, the unseen killer from Black Christmas (1974). C o o l. He also shares his dark past and double-life in a happy marriage… while he sleeps in a tank under the ground outside the house.

 

We also met Dr. Halloran (Robert Englund), the film’s version of Dr. Loomis if you will, who once treated Leslie Vernon and now is on his tail to chase him down. I find zero joy in saying this, but it’s not wrong to point out that Robert Englund has appeared in a string of terrible dogshit films during the last 10, 15, 20 years or so, and this is one of the very few watch-worthy flicks he’s in, post Freddy. We see Zelda Rubinstein as a librarian, her final role before she passed away four years later, and wandered into the light.

 

The film is mostly presented as a raw, handheld documentary with segments that switch back and forth to conventional. This may take some of the edge off, but this is not a film to take seriously to begin with, and Behind the Mask is overall a clever and entertaining satire on the cheesy slasher genre that dominated the 1980s. It’s also, of course, a big plus if you’re a big fan of the genre and have seen most of the catalogs of slashers from that era and its resurgence after the mid 90s. If not, the inside-jokes and the references will fly over your head while you’re just sitting and waiting for the blood’n gore which there’s not much focus on.

 

And one thing is for certain: You’ll never be able to watch a body-count slasher in the same way ever again.

 

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

 

Director: Scott Glosserman
Writers: Scott Glosserman, David J. Stieve
Country & year: USA, 2012
Actors: Nathan Baesel, Angela Goethals, Robert Englund, Scott Wilson, Zelda Rubinstein, Bridgett Newton, Kate Miner, Ben Pace, Britain Spellings, Hart Turner, Krissy Carlson, Travis Zariwny
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0437857/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

High Tension (2003)

High TensionHigh Tension is the title and high tension is what you get.

 

We’re in the countryside in France (here, of course, filmed in Romania) where the two young best friends Marie (Cécile de France) and Alex (Maïwenn) are visiting Alex’ parents to study. It all seems like a quiet and idyllic summer in the country, but who’d know that a psycho killer (Philippe Nahon) is also roaming the area? He’s dressed like a mechanic, drives around in a rusty van and likes to chill out between the killing-sprees by giving himself a blowjob with a fresh severed head. Welcome to surfing on the first red wave of French Extreme Horror.

 

After this short and intense foreshadowing, it’s just a matter of time before this cold-blooded and emotionless serial killer drops by Alex’ family’s farmhouse to expand his kill count. And so he does. Already the first night when all have gone to bed, the doorbell rings. As soon as Alex’ dad opens, he gets his face sliced by a razor blade. Then our killer cuts his head off in some very creative way I won’t even try to describe. He slaughters the whole family like they were pigs, even the dog. Before he leaves the messy and gruesome murder scene, he captures Alex, ties her up, tosses her back in the van. Phew. Marie was able to hide during this brutal home invasion, but chases the killer to save Alex.

 

What we have next is an intense cat n’ mouse chase that spirals completely out of control. Alexandre Aja (with his co-writer Grégory Levasseur) has during the last twenty years established themselves in the US with The Hills Have Eyes, Piranha 3D, Mirrors, Crawl, Horns and more. He was 22 years old when he made High Tension, and with this being his first horror film, one would guess he’d already made genre films for a decade. A solidly made slasher, a gory, relentless ride from start to finish, with strong performances by the two female lead actors. The throwbacks to the 70s and 80s are also eminent and the juicy special effects are a big factor here, delivered by FX artist Giannetto De Rossi (1941-2021) who also worked with Lucio Fulci.

 

But the film also has a rotten macaron in the room that has to be addressed, and that’s the infamous twist which only M. Night Shyamalan would still be impressed by. Aja took inspiration from the Dean R. Koontz’ novel Intensity, which also became an obscure movie made for TV in 1997. And what he had planned for High Tension was all another than the ending we got here. We can blame none other than Luc Besson, one of the producers, who demanded the twist that has aged like milk. But since Aja already here has proven to be a damn good director and able to keep the tension high to the end credits, it does not ruin the the overall film experience.

 

High Tension High Tension High Tension

 

Director: Alexandre Aja
Writers: Alexandre Aja, Grégory Levasseur
Original title: Haute tension
Also known as: Switchblade Romance (UK)
Country & year: France/Romania, 2003
Actors: Cécile de France, Maïwenn, Philippe Nahon, Franck Khalfoun, Andrei Finti, Oana Pellea, Marco Claudiu Pascu, Jean-Claude de Goros, Bogdan Uritescu, Gabriel Spahiu
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338095/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Mirrors (2008)

MirrorsWe start off with a security guard running through a subway station, and upon entering a room and seeing his reflection in a mirror, he starts freaking out and begs for his life. This doesn’t end well, as his reflection takes a shard and cuts its own throat, and the same thing happens to him. Then we move over to the life of Ben Carson (Kiefer Sutherland) who is a suspended police detective on mandatory leave from the New York police department after a shooting that went terribly wrong. Now, he works as a security guard and will start working at the Mayflower, which is a luxury department store that was destroyed by a fire five years earlier. And of course: the building has a vast array of mirrors still standing from when the store was open. How convenient. On his first night of patrol, he notices eerie things like how the mirrors are covered with handprints which seems to be from the other side of the glass. Couldn’t be anything suspicious about that, right? He also finds the wallet of the guard we saw in the opening scene, who he was told had killed himself. Inside the wallet is a note saying “Esseker”. He starts seeing more and more visions, and Ben becomes convinced that the mirrors play a part in what is happening here. And when his sister is also killed by her own reflection, Ben is fueled by rage and fear for his family’s safety, and becomes determined to figure out the mystery behind the mirrors and the mysterious note in the previous guard’s wallet.

 

Mirrors is a supernatural horror film from 2008, directed by Alexandre Aja (High Tension, Piranha 3D, Crawl). The film is based on a South Korean horror film from 2003 called Into the Mirror, and it was originally supposed to be a straightforward remake until Aja was brought on board to read the script, which he then wanted to change as he was quite dissatisfied with the particulars of the original film’s story. Thus, Mirrors only includes the basic idea involving mirrors. It was shot in Romania, most of it in Nicolae Ceausescu’s unfinished Academy of sciences which is located in Bucharest.

 

Abandoned places and spooky mirrors is of course a fine setup for a horror movie, merged with a protagonist who is troubled, divorced and having an alcohol problem (funny how those things always go hand in hand) we are left with what will inevitably not bring much new to the table, but at least it will offer some good creepy atmosphere and a mystery that keeps you intrigued enough to keep watching. Another plus is that there’s some really effective scenes, especially that of the sister’s death. If you watch this movie with some of the directors other gorier and grittier movies in mind, however, this one’s very different. There’s none of the really gritty vibe which can be found in High Tension for example, or any abundance of gore like in the incredibly gory Piranha 3D. This one’s a different meal, and Aja’s movies does indeed come in varied forms, you can rarely expect the same thing over and over from him. Which is not a bad thing.

 

Overall, Mirrors is a nice supernatural horror film where Jack Bauer, uhm, I mean Kiefer Sutherland plays the role as the alcoholic ex-cop pretty well. The best part of the movie is when everything is still a mystery, as the creepy vibe does diminish a bit once the supernatural goings-on are revealed, but this isn’t exactly uncommon in mystery-fueled horror movies. I have also seen the original movie this one was based on, and this is one of the (rare) cases where I actually prefer the re-imagined version. This is probably largely due to this movie being a re-imagination rather than a remake.

 

A sequel, called Mirrors 2, was released in 2010.

 

Mirrors

 

Director: Alexandre Aja
Writers: Alexandre Aja, Grégory Levasseur
Country & year: USA, 2008
Actors: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Cameron Boyce, Arika Gluck, Amy Smart, Mary Beth Peil, John Shrapnel, Jason Flemyng, Tim Ahern, Julian Glover
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790686/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Hidden (2009)

HiddenWe start off in a dark, dark forest, where a boy keeps running in fear. He’s deathly afraid of something or someone, and when he runs across a forest road he doesn’t see the trailer truck coming in high speed. Luckily, the truck misses him, but the driver lose control over the vehicle and it all triggers a chain of events when the truck crashes into another car. Then, we proceed forwards in time and over to Kai Koss, who has returned to his hometown to settle affairs after his mother’s recent death. It’s been 19 years since he set foot there because of his mother’s abusive ways, but he soon finds out that he can’t outrun his past. In his ancestral house, he starts getting visions of previous events and it messes him up to the point where he actually wants to burn the entire shithole of a house down. Some local police makes sure he won’t be able to do that, though. But this revisit to his old hometown doesn’t only bring back memories, people start dying too…and it seems like something has been waiting for Kai’s return.

 

Hidden (original title: Skjult) is a psychological horror film from Norway, written and directed by Pål Øie. It had a budget of 12.6 million NOK (approx. 1.2 million USD), and was filmed on several locations in Norway including Eidfjord in Hardanger, by Vøringsfossen (the 83rd highest waterfall in Norway). It received mostly lukewarm reviews, but got some international attention as one of the featured films of the After Dark Horrorfest in 2010.

 

Hidden often has a few lynchian vibes in it, being slightly dreamlike and nightmarish. The dark and brooding atmosphere is what holds the movie up, and they really found a creepy location for Kai’s old childhood home, a place that pretty much seemed just as tainted by degeneracy as the former owner. When we follow the protagonist in his mostly befuddled state, the movie makes it very clear that the intention is to confuse us on the same level as the character himself. The distinction between what’s real and what’s just in Kai’s mind, can appear a bit messy at times.

 

Overall, Hidden is perhaps a bit too clichéd, but on the whole it is an okay psychological horror slow-burner, focusing for the most part on atmospheric surroundings and a nightmare-vibe riddled with guilt, confusion and trauma. The cinematography is a highlight here, and you will most likely find it enjoyable if you like mystery horror of the slow and moody type.

 

The director, Pål Øie, had his first horror movie release with Villmark in 2003 (english title: Dark Woods), which was a fine horror thriller that unfortunately got a rather lackluster sequel in 2015. After that there wasn’t anything new in the horror department from this director, until recently when a new movie titled Kraken was announced. It’s going to be Norway’s first sea monster horror film. Hopefully it will be fun, with at least some grisly body counts and proper monster effects! Time will show, though.

 

Hidden

 

Writer and director: Pål Øie
Country & year: Norway, 2009
Original title: Skjult
Actors: Kristoffer Joner, Cecilie A. Mosli, Bjarte Hjelmeland, Marko Iversen Kanic, Anders Danielsen Lie, Karin Park, Eivind Sander, Arthur Berning, Agnes Karin Haaskjold
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1347007/

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Fragile (2005)

FragileMercy Falls is an old hospital that’s about to get closed down, but due to a horrible train accident the main hospital, St. James’s, can’t take in any more patients. Thus, Mercy Falls will need to stay partly open for a while more, keeping some of their patients there and the children located in the children’s ward. One of these children is Maggie, a little girl suffering from cystic fibrosis. She is terrified of “Charlotte”, someone she claims to see. One of the new nurses, Amy Nicholls, bonds with Maggie as they have something in common: they’re both orphans. Maggie confides in Amy, telling her about this Charlotte character which Amy later finds out is some kind of urban legend at the hospital, where several children have claimed to see her over the past two decades. When Amy starts looking even further into the mystery about Charlotte, she discovers that all the other children who claimed to have seen Charlotte are deceased, and she fears that Maggie might be next.

 

Fragile (aka Frágiles) is a supernatural horror film from 2005, directed by Jaume Balagueró (who is most known for the two first REC movies). He came up with the idea for this film after seeing an old photo of a little girl suffering from Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a horrible disease where bones are easily fractured, also known as “brittle bone disease”.

 

Fragile is going in a well trodden path, but the savoring points of the film is the atmosphere from the old, gloomy hospital where the Bearwood College in Berkshire, England, was used for the exterior shots. There’s certainly a fair amount of good old-fashioned gothic atmosphere, tinged with mystery. The story unfolds slowly, where you’re being introduced to the main character Amy Nicholls (Calista Flockhart), various nurses and the sick children in the hospital. Since the plot starts with knowing that the hospital is about to be completely abandoned, but having to postpone it for the children due to the full main hospital after the train accident, you get a feeling of the characters being in an even more isolated and threatening situation. And of course, there’s the abandoned floor where we know something terrible happened. It’s all a nice recipe for a solid, albeit not especially strong, ghost story. Its suspenseful, atmospheric, and quite decent.

 

The ghost here, though…well, she’s something that looks more like she came from a Hellraiser movie and wandered into the wrong set. While there are certainly a lot of horror movies where the ghosts appear a bit over-the-top malformed (like for example the Insidious franchise), she does feel a little bit misplaced here amongst the otherwise traditional gothic elements. Then again, this does make her first full appearance an unexpected surprise. The scenes when she is more obscured works a lot better though than the ones where we see her full on, but overall we don’t really get to see all that much of her.

 

There’s a scene where the children are watching an animated “Sleeping Beauty” film (nope, not the Disney one, as you might have guessed), and this animated film was actually created specifically for this movie. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be anywhere in its entirety, aside from in the clip from Fragile. This animated clip does have a certain significance to the movie’s sad but sugar-coated ending.

 

Overall, Fragile is a familiar-looking entry into the supernatural genre of vengeful spirits, mostly held up by its atmosphere and moody locations.

 

Fragile Fragile

 

Director: Jaume Balagueró
Writers: Jaume Balagueró, Jordi Galceran
Country & year: Spain, UK, 2005
Actors: Calista Flockhart, Richard Roxburgh, Elena Anaya, Gemma Jones, Yasmin Murphy, Colin McFarlane, Michael Pennington, Daniel Ortiz, Susie Trayling, Michael Gatward, Scarlet Carey, Cameron Antrobus
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422272/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)Two young American ladies, Lindsey and Jenny, are visiting Germany. While driving through a forest they get a flat tire. And since they don’t know how to change a tire, they have to go on foot with their high heels through the forest while it’s raining to hopefully find some help. Luckily, they come across a house where the lights are on. They ring on the doorbell and out comes Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser) who invites them in for a glass of water while he’s calling the car service.

 

You have a really lovely home. Do you live here with your wife?, asks one of the girls. No… I don’t like human beings, he answers in the most unironically way with his creepy German accent.

 

Okay, then. Thanks for the water, but now it’s time to leave. Oops, too late. Because Dr. Heiter has laced their water with some strong sedatives, and soon they’ll wake up in his lab basement, strained to their hospital beds. Because, you see, this doctor has a very special passion, and that is to make the world’s first human centipede. And according to the poster, this is done with 100% medical accuracy. So this is perfectly safe to try at home, kids.

 

The Human Centipede was, at the time, the most  brutalshockingsickeninggruesomegrossrevoltingdisturbingdisgusting (and add all buzz words possible) piece of horror film that has ever been made on planet Earth – and probably the most hyped and viral thing that only Megan is Missing (2011) could come close to. The buzz for this film was so colossal and huge that it managed to crawl its way into the mainstream pop-culture and was even mentioned as a parody game of Pac-Man in an episode of The Simpsons. There is also a porn parody titled The Human Sexipede. Anyway – people who haven’t even seen the film call it the most disturbing thing ever. But for most of us who have actually seen it, we can confirm that this is a prime example of how a morbid concept like this sounds so much more horrific on paper with a pretty brilliant poster design that is cryptic enough to toy with your darkest imagination.

 

Because this is not exactly the body horror you’d expect to see from directors like David Cronenberg, Brian Yuzna or the horror mangas of Hideshi Hino and Junji Ito. It’s not even close to being as gruesome and graphic as the title and the poster would trick you to believe. Yes, it’s supposed to look more realistic and grounded with the less is more approach, but still… It’s quite underwhelming, and nothing but comical to see the actors squeezing their noses between their ass-cheeks to make us believe that they’re Frankensteined together, as they’re moaning like they’re in some scat porn video. The only legit disgusting moment here is the snot hanging from the nose of the Asian guy, who got lucky enough to be the first link to the centipede experiment. I can’t imagine the actors being proud to be in this and have ever shown it to their moms and dads and their friends – Hey, look at this horror film I’m in where I’m eating ass and breathing farts. 

 

There are many unique ways to be totally humiliated on screen as an actor, but this has to take the shit cake – only until the far more fucked-up sequel The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) came and said hold my anus. And there’s no wonder why actresses who showed up to the casting sessions walked out in disgust after discovering what they were about to sign on to.

 

The Human Centipede was mostly filmed in a residential home in the Netherlands with primarily four actors and a small budget. The film could have been so much worse, but our villain, Dr. Heiter, makes sure to keep us entertained. He looks like an elderly meth-addicted Robert Pattinson with stage four cancer. A solid-looking mad-scientist villain, in other words, with an electric performance by the eccentric German actor Dieter Laser (1942-2020) which makes this film worth a watch alone. And speaking of meth… Dieter approached his role with method acting, didn’t mingle with either cast or crew between the takes, and pretty much kept to himself. According to Dieter, the white jacket he wore was by a real Nazi doctor from WW2. He took the role so seriously to a point where he started to feel some Nazi guilt, and got into a fight when he accidentally kicked the Asian guy. Welcome to showbiz. Tom Six views the film as a reflection on fascism and his fear of doctors and hospitals.

 

But at the end of the day, The Human Centipede is an unintentionally twisted, silly little comedy that got hyped out of proportions just because of its title alone, and it’s not to be taken seriously for even half a second. Our old friend Roger Ebert, on the other hand, hated the film so much that he gave it zero stars – which should be enough to pique your curiosity, if you ask me.

 

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

 

Writer and director: Tom Six
Country & year: Netherlands, 2009
Actors: Dieter Laser, Winter Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura, Andreas Leupold, Peter Blankenstein, Bernd Kostrau, Rene de Wit
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1467304/

 

Sequel: The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (2011)

 

Tom Ghoul