The first film wasn’t the biggest success at the box-office, but we still got a sequel, of some sort. This time directed by Anthony Hickox, who also made Hellraiser III, the year before. Warlock: The Armageddon is more of a reboot than a sequel where our evil male witch (Julian Sands) starts from scratch to go on a mission to free his daddy Satan from Hell. And if you thought the first one was campy and silly, this one is just bonkers, wild and early ’90s madness through and through. And to quote Bon Scott: If you want blood, you’ve got it!
The film opens with a quick epilogue that tells us about a certain type of people known as Druids who used their magic to protect Earth from evil. And once every millennium during a lunar eclipse, these Druids use the magic of some sacred rune stones to make sure that the birth of Satan’s son gets on hold for the next hundred years. Just too bad we can’t do the same with dictators, politicians and influencers. The Druids have lived through generations which we’ll come back to.
Our introduction to Warlocks starts in a city apartment where some new-age chick has one of the runes hanging round her neck. As the next eclipse happens, she gets turbo pregnant and gives birth to Warlock in the most goopy way that could only be made in the ’80s and early ’90s. Great stuff. His first words are Don’t you want to give your boy a kiss, mother?, just to make it clear that our evil Warlock isn’t just more schadenfreude evil than ever, but also a notebook of one-liners ready.
After he kills the woman in a way I just can’t describe, he possesses the rune, rips off a chunk of the woman’s skin and…well, uses it as a map that will lead him to the next rune and the body counts who’ll stand in his way. And where’s our hero, Redferne, you may ask? Oh, well.
That brings us to the side plot with the Druids, where the simplicity of Redferne is very missed, as well as Richard E. Grant. The love story between Kenny (Chris Young) and Samantha (Paula Marshall) is pretty flat and uninteresting, which is hard to give a fuck about. And speaking of not giving a fuck: then we have Kenny’s dad, Will, a modern Master Druid who trains him to unlock his magic telekinesis abilities and become a Jedi, I mean a Druid warrior like him. He’s portrayed by Steve Kahan, aka Mr. I Don’t Give A Fuck and does one of the most soulless I don’t give a fuck, I’m only here for the paycheck-performance I’ve seen. There’s also some extreme tonal whiplashes where we have a cute Hallmark movie moment of Kenny cuddling a squirrel not so long before we cut to a grimy scene where Warlock has just slaughtered and dismembered a guy in an elevator, Predator 2 style. Kenny is Good and Warlock is Evil. We get it.
The highlights here are all the scenes with the Warlock. And like a Legion, they are many. He goes from different locations and colorful scenarios across the USA with no mercy whatsoever, where he even shoves an old, helpless dwarf (Mihaly ‘Michu’ Meszaro) into an iron maiden at a circus to get his next rune. Poor ALF. A woman gets her scalp ripped off. Gnarly. I also like the mirror scene where Warlock is having some fun and toys with his victims. There are also some Wishmaster vibes here, especially with a scene which I won’t spoil. Vulgar display of power turned up to eleven. Pure fun entertainment gold. Although the practical effects are solid, the visual ones are pretty wonky, which the first one also suffered from. In this case, however, I wouldn’t say it hurts the film that much, as it’s way more self-aware of its campy tone.
And yes, there’s a third, or a turd movie, if you will… and, well, that’s all there is to say about that one. RIP to Julian Sands and Anthony Hickox, who both died in 2023. Julian’s remains were found after going missing during a hike in the San Gabriel Mountains, 65 years old. Hickox died of unknown causes at his home in Bucharest, 64 years old. Only the good die young, as they say.
Director: Anthony Hickox
Writers: Kevin Rock, Sam Bernard
Country & year: USA, 1993
Actors: Julian Sands, Chris Young, Paula Marshall, Joanna Pacula, Steve Kahan, R.G. Armstrong, Charles Hallahan, Bruce Glover, Craig Hurley, Davis Gaines, Rebecca Street
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108517/
