There’s Something in the Barn (2023)

There's Something in the BarnBill is a family man who is about to fulfill the dream of his life: moving back to his ancestral family farm in Gudbrandsdalen in Norway. The problem is: he’s pretty much the only one who is very, very excited about this. The teenage daughter Nora feels like her life has fallen apart when being dragged from sunny California and over to cold desolated Norway. Carol, the stepmother, tries to keep an optimistic tone with her life coach visions, but it becomes apparent that she really struggles with keeping the smiles up for Bill’s sake. Lucas, the youngest son, tries to be more enthusiastic though. When exploring their new home and the surrounding area, he discovers something fantastic: there’s something in the barn! It’s a good ol’ classic fjøsnisse as we call them here in Norway, or what a local man tells Lucas is a barn elf. These humanoid creatures comes with a set of rules: they hate modern changes, loud noises, and bright lights (feeding them after midnight is okay though, they aren’t gremlins). If you ignore those rules, there will be some horrible consequences, because you really, really do not want to make the barn elf angry!

 

There’s Something in the Barn is a Norwegian comedy horror film from 2023, directed by Magnus Martens and written by Aleksander Kirkwood Brown.

 

This is a movie that’s mixed with Norwegian folklore, combined with some comedic elements regarding some of our cultural oddities. And with a good dose of that bad English, of course. That cheesy, broken sing-song English that is the common Norwegian accent! (God, whenever I travel abroad I hate hearing my own voice when I speak English). And most of the Norwegian characters in this movie plays this up a bit, especially Henriette Steenstrup who plays the sheriff, and Calle Hellevang Larsen who plays the local barn-elf expert. And speaking of these so-called barn elves: this creature stems from very old Norwegian folklore predating the Christian times. Most of the original lore regarding these creatures have been included in the movie, like how they will become quite mischievous if you do not treat them well, however it was originally mostly enough to give them a big bowl of porridge and they’d be satisfied. They were never known for becoming dangerous, though. If dissatisfied with you, they were believed to do things like making noises to bother you, or let the animals in the barn out during the night. Otherwise, they were generally goodhearted and watched over the farm animals, and were especially friendly with the barn cat which most farmers would have to keep away rodents. However, since the filmmakers were making a gremlins-like horror movie, they did of course have to make the barn elves quite mean, with the exception of the main elf which I guess is like the Gizmo of the movie. And yes, there’s no doubt that there’s a lot of inspiration from, and a homage to, the classic 1984 movie Gremlins which is also a holidays-themed movie.

 

There's Something in the Barn

 

Much of the humour is aimed at the total cultural differences between Norwegians and Americans, where especially the family father is trying his best to adapt. Both sides are purposefully caricatured, and while I’m certain that there are a lot of the Norwegian references that won’t be properly understood when viewed by those abroad, the humour is still straightforward enough even for those who doesn’t know the slightest about Norway or Norwegian culture. The movie explains some of the things gradually through the eyes of the Americans who just moved there, so we see everything through their experience, and often through the experiences of the boy Lucas who first sees the barn elf. Despite Lucas trying to warn his family (no one believes him, of course) they piss the creature off by breaking the rules one by one. What a shocker. First of all, it’s the bright lights rule when they put up all their Christmas holiday decorations, full-on American style (which means a lot of decorations). Then, in order to get to know their Norwegian neighbours better, they also decide to redecorate the barn and throw a party in there, because who knew: they only way to get a Norwegian out of their cold, hard shell is to get them shitfaced on alcohol! And yes, that’s a little bit too true, and as someone who doesn’t drink alcohol I’ve been frowned upon more than once for this choice, it’s like committing a total blasphemy around here. Well, anyway. All rules have been broken, and the barn elf is now majorly pissed off! There’s only one way to appease him…bringing him a big bowl of porridge. So Lucas, as the goodhearted boy he is, makes some and puts it in the fridge to serve the angry nissemann later…only to discover it has gotten eaten by his father. The only thing Lucas can give the barn elf now are the leftovers from a botched Norwegian dinner attempt from earlier that day: the dish Lutefisk. Which, of course, breaks the final straw for the poor little barn elf and makes all hell break loose. Believe me, you’d be pissed too.

 

From here on, the movie takes a turn from a rather cozy one to bringing in the horror elements, where we get some kill counts and a bunch of violent and mean barn elves running around and wreaking havoc. It’s still too charming and fun to be scary in any kind of way with the goofy antics of the creatures, including them getting drunk after smashing the living room and having the family trapped in the upstairs bedroom. In between, we do get a little bit of forced family drama just to pack it in with some kind of rediscovering togetherness during the holidays message, but it’s also slightly mocking this cliché a bit. While it’s a little sugar-coatey at times with the family dynamics, it kinda works in a premise like this. Never hated any of the characters, although I did root for the barn elves of course.

 

Visually, the cinematography offers up the beauty of a snowy winterlandscape, and it is jam-packed with Christmas vibes! Despite being a movie that’s featuring some very typical Norwegian scenery, it’s informed in the film’s trivia that half of it was shot on stages in Lithuania. There was also a limited snowfall during the shooting (so there goes that illusion of how Norway is always fully packed with snow) so they had to bring in snow by truckloads in order to accomplish the vision they needed.

 

Overall, There’s Something in the Barn is a fun gateway horror movie with a good amount of holiday charm. And as can be expected from such a goofy, lighthearted horror movie, it all ends on a good note despite all the mayhem. And it becomes good to be a nissemann, after all.

 

Happy Holidays and God Jul! Now remember to put out that bowl of porridge (julegrøt) for the nisse with a good portion of butter in the middle and some cinnamon spread atop! Just don’t serve him any Lutefisk…or you know what will happen.

 

There's Something in the Barn There's Something in the Barn There's Something in the Barn

 

Director: Magnus Martens
Writers: Aleksander Kirkwood Brown, Josh Epstein, Kyle Rideout
Country & year: Norway, 2023
Actors: Martin Starr, Amrita Acharia, Kiran Shah, Townes Bunner, Zoe Winther-Hansen, Calle Hellevang Larsen, Henriette Steenstrup, Jeppe Beck Laursen, Eldar Vågan and a horde of angry barn elfs
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt23060796/

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving (2023)

ThanksgivingIt only took sweet sixteen years but here it is. The turkey is finally served. And it tastes delicious. Even Gordon Ramsay would agree. No donkey business here. So let’s eat!

 

Just for some clarification: the film is nothing like the Grindhouse trailer where the grainy, low-tech aesthetics are concerned. Nor is the film set in the early 80s or the 90s but in the current time. And that means; bring on the smartphones everyone, so we can connect with the MODERN world! Meh…

 

We’re in the small town of Plymouth, Massachusetts, which is also the birthplace of the Thanksgiving holiday tradition. The town is preparing for the annual parade, but first there’s Black Friday where the owner of the local Walmart (here called Rightmart) is getting all ready for the zombie horde to gather outside before the doors open. All hell breaks loose in the usual way, but it quickly escalates to a massacre where people gets stamped to death, arms and feet gets broken and an important key character gets her head’s scalp ripped off in some unique bizarre way. What a great opening!

 

We then jump to a year later where the town is still in shock from the last year’s incident. The parade is still planned to go on as usual, but the holiday spirit is pretty much tainted. We also have a bunch of teens and other folks who start to get brutally killed by some mysterious person in a pilgrim outfit and with a John Carver mask. As the body count piles up, the teens in town have to team up to expose the killer as they are getting tagged on cryptic instagram posts that hints they’re a part of some ritualistic revenge-spree connected to the Rightmart incident.

 

The characters/body counts aren’t as insufferable as they’re in most of Eli Roth’s films, and that may be because the script for Thanksgiving was written by some other guy by the name Jeff Rendell. That being said, most of the characters are flat and bland like a NPC (non-playable character) and I couldn’t remember a single name or a character trait that made them different from one another. The funny thing is that we have a NPC joke here while they sit in a diner and have some boring conversations. The only one among the body counts who seemed enthusiastic and to be having fun was Tim Dillon, and he should have had some more screentime. He should also be the final guy. That would be hilarious. The only one who stands out is the killer with the cloak, captain hat, the John Carver mask and the axe. Still, I have to say that the motive of the killer here was the weakest shit ever.

 

Anyway – as a slasher film, Thanksgiving is overall an entertaining watch with some great and brutal kills mixed with some suspenseful chase scenes. Instead of some generic knife-stabbings, we have face-skin that gets ripped off from a freezer door, heads get ripped off, some poor dude gets his face impaled, torsos gets slashed in half… Yummy! The gore delivers, in other words, where Eli Roth’s love for old-school slashers like Pieces and Happy Birthday to Me spiced with some elements of the 90s shines through. And had this been made in the 80s it would have gotten added on the video nasty list in a bloody heartbeat, that’s for sure. Surprisingly, there’s some CGI gore here but I’ve seen a lot worse. The opening scene with the Black Friday riot in Walmart/Rightmart was epic, which I assume was meant to be satirical, but that incident couldn’t be closer to the actual clown world reality. The parade scene is also a great highlight, where it gets pretty messy, and a third act which involves a crispy and morbid dinner scene. Enough gore candy to fill your belly here. Burp.

 

There’s also a scene with a fluffy cat here and… just wait for it. And yes, the trampoline scene which alone became a classic in the faux trailer is of course here. No titties, though.

 

Despite the NPC’s and that I missed some of the more grainy and primitive image quality, this is overall an entertaining and a welcoming addition to the Holiday slasher horror genre with razor sharp edges. And I wish that the Christmas-themed slasher films had the balls to amp up the grisly brutality like this one did. Because most of them are tame and forgettable trash, with some very few exceptions which I can count on one hand. Hopefully our man Damien Leone will finally change that with his next Terrifier movie.

 

And as I’m writing this, it has grossed 36 million of its budget of 15 million, and a sequel is already in development. Nice.

 

Thanksgiving

 

Director: Eli Roth
Writers: Jeff Rendell, Eli Roth
Country & year: US, 2023
Actors: Patrick Dempsey, Ty Olsson, Gina Gershon, Gabriel Davenport, Karen Cliche, Nell Verlaque, Rick Hoffman, Derek McGrath, Katherine Trowell, Jalen Thomas Brooks, Mika Amonsen, Amanda Barker
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt1448754/

 

 

Tom Ghoul