After taking a job on a farm run by a reclusive woman, a drifter begins suffering from visions of men trapped inside the bodies of animals.
Skin & Bone is a creepy atmospheric horror short based on Circe from Greek legend.
Director: Eli Powers
Writer: Eli Powers
Country & year: USA, 2022
Actors: McCaleb Burnett, Thomas Sadoski, Amanda Seyfried
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt20783516/
♫ ♪ Somebody Framed Meeeeeee ♪ …
– Shut up and quit singing!
Welcome to amateur hour. Today we take a look at Ed Gein: The Musical, a homemade micro-budget horror comedy made for shits n’giggles that was probably a fun time for all those involved. The rest of the world had to wait for ten whole years to finally witness a singing Ed Gein to be released on DVD.
The film starts straight to the point where Ed Gein enters Mary Hagan’s store and then shoots her with a shotgun. After the sinful act, we hear the first notes of Eddie as he sings (with the voice-over of Will Keizer, who wrote most of the songs).
♫ Oooooooooh no, I Did A Bad Thing … And Now They Are Coming For Meeee … There’s Nowhere To Hide … Ooooh Mama, I Did A Bad Thing ♪ …
Eddie takes the corpse to his shed with the second musical number while he chops up some limbs, titled Lonely Feeling, Lonely Reeling, and the energy is as electric as a Sunday evening at the local Bingo hall.
Ed gets arrested by the sheriff, suspected of the murder of Miss Hagan, and brought into the interrogation room. From here on, Ed tells his life story, filled with nothing but delusional fantasies as we dive into more zero-budget, amateur movie madness and two-notes of honky-tonk song numbers mixed with mainly acoustic guitar and not much of the basic understanding of how a musical works. The songs are completely forgettable and performed in the most bland, lifeless karaoke style with a static camera.
We see a quick flashback scene where a young Ed gets abused by his dad for having a picture of a half-naked lady. After getting whipped with the belt, Ed says: When I’m grown I won’t take this crap. When I’m grown I will be a handsome chap. Yeah, you heard that right. We then cut to the current Ed, dressed like a sleazy car-salesman as he sings… a rap-song. The cringe meter is already at its maximum, but it still manages to get worse. Because we haven’t seen the scene with Ed and his mom yet.
We see Ed in various scenarios. In one scene he’s in some hall with elderly people, he’s in the fakest-looking cemetery ever put on film, he sits in a bar, sings some duets with random chicks and more nonsensical buffoonery follows. We also see him in a sitcom setting where they forgot to add the laugh track. All filmed in blurry and out-of-focus images with the sense of filming in general as a blind, drunk sailor man who’s way past his bedtime. As for the comedy goes we laugh more at the film than with it, which is completely fine by me.
The only legit quality to point out is the eye-catching artwork on the DVD cover. For more Ed Gein, check out Deranged (1974), Ed Gein (2000) and the graphic novel Did You Hear What Ed Gein Done? (2021).
Director: Steve Russell
Writer: Dan Davies
Country & year: USA, 2010
Actors: Dan Davies, Clifford Henry, Laurie Friedman-Fannin, Lucia Stevenson, M.J. Marsh, Cindy Yungwirth, James Fairchild, Barbra Alloy, Edie Amundsen, Charlie Bitter, Jason Buss
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt1562295/
Kiera and Brian Woods move into an old house with their two children, the teenage girl Ellie and the elementary boy Steven. Ellie, being a typical teenage girl is opposed to the move and is already missing her old place and her friends. However, Kiera and Brian moved to this place because of job opportunities, so that’s that. On their very first night in the old house, the couple must leave for work and leave their two children all alone, in a completely unfamiliar place. Yeah, great parenting right there. Ellie is of course dismayed that she is tasked with watching her younger brother on the very first night in the new house, and while Steven is up to his shenanigans he finds a secret room which includes an old Sonographe. Ellie starts playing it, only to hear a man reciting some formulas, and counting up slowly. She shuts it off before the counting reaches seven, and says to Steven that it’s time to go to bed. Soon after, there’s a power outage and Ellie panics and calls her mother. The breaker is located in the cellar (of course), but Ellie is terrified to go down there. While on the phone with her daughter, Kiera tells Ellie to count to 10, which is the number of steps down to the floor of the basement. Ellie keeps counting, but after reaching the number 10, she keeps counting and sounds like she have come into a trance-like manner. Kiera and Brian hurries home, only to find Ellie missing.
The Cellar is a 2022 Irish supernatural horror film, based on the horror short from 2004 called The Ten Steps. Both are written and directed by Brendan Muldowney. The story is following the well-known formula of how you should never buy an old, creepy house without knowing about its past. And of course, the wife is the one who understands that something spooky is going on, while the husband is pretty much “meh” about everything and believes their teenage daughter just decided to run off (which she had done before). So yeah, there are some of the familiar horror tropes here. But instead of the old over-sized house being infested with ghosts and ghoulies, however, the movie goes into sci-fi territory, with a little bit of Lovecraftian themes of cosmic horror, symbolism and occult numerology.
While the actual horror elements are a bit lacking, there’s a satisfactory amount of creepy atmosphere. The old big house with its creaky floors and gothic interior keeps the eerieness in place. It’s solid despite being rather formulaic, and the scene with Ellie going down the stairs and keeps counting is quite chilling. Of course, it’s not having the same effect as in the original horror short which leaves everything so much more mysterious. I guess that’s often an issue with horror shorts becoming full feature films: a short may only give you a small idea and leaves a lot to the imagination, while a feature film will need to explain things. Overall, however, The Cellar is a nice watch held up due to its solid atmosphere, and an interesting idea which is different from your typical spooky house flick.
Writer and director: Brendan Muldowney
Country & year: Ireland, Belgium, USA, 2022
Actors: Elisha Cuthbert, Eoin Macken, Abby Fitz, Dylan Fitzmaurice Brady, Tara Lee, Michael-David McKernan, Andrew Bennett, Aaron Monaghan, Marie Mullen
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14550642/
Set in Ireland, a family moves to a new city neighborhood, taking residence in a large, old house that is rumored to have a dodgy past. Their young daughter Katie is caught in a power outage while the parents are out to dinner, and her father insists that she go down to the basement to fix the fuse. When they’d first moved in, Katie had a panic attack in the basement, brought on by stories that the devil once appeared down there. But with her father’s help, she slowly descends the ten steps to the bottom, each step into darkness inducing more and more terror.
The Ten Steps is a creepy horror short which later turned into a feature film titled The Cellar which was released in 2022, 18 years after this short was made.
Director: Brendan Muldowney
Writer: Brendan Muldowney
Country & year: Ireland, 2004
Actors: Jill Harding, William O’Sullivan, Paula Lee
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0452873/
Wes is driving at random after seemingly having a lot of trouble getting over his ex Brenda, and eventually stops his car at a roadside rest stop. He decides to stay there for the night, brings out the bottle and gets shitfaced to the point of blackout, and during the process he burns several of his possessions, including his pants. Yeah, that’s probably going to make everything so much better, right? Well, in the morning he wakes up on the ground, ready to empty his bowels and stumbles into the nearby restroom. He soon finds out that he is not alone in there, as another man starts speaking to him from one of the closed stalls. This conversation quickly grows uncomfortable for Wes, as this “man” claims to be a demigod by the name Ghatanothoa. Wes tries to leave, but finds that the door is sealed shut, and he’s got not other option than to listen to the so-called demigod and find out what it wants from him.
Glorious is a 2022 sci-fi comedy horror film directed by Rebekah McKendry, starring Ryan Kwanten in the leading role and J.K. Simmons as the voice actor for Ghatanothoa. Oh, and for those who may not already have guessed that this is a Lovecraftian movie: Ghatanothoa is said to be the firstborn of Cthulhu which first appeared in the 1953 story Out of the Aeons, which was ghostwritten by H. P. Lovecraft for Hazel Heald.
As you also may have guessed from the description alone, this movie is a real oddball for sure. Since the locations are very limited, the acting is essential here which fortunately comes off as quite decent and believable, with J.K. Simmons delivering a carefully balanced performance as the demigod. The comedy elements are often more subtle and dark, which I personally found fortunate as this heightened the weirdness without making it exhausting. It’s easy to get curious about this Wes character, why he’s taking the breakup with his ex Brenda so badly yet seemingly having been somehow to blame, based on a few snippets of flashbacks we get to see. And why the demigod in the restroom needs his help. It’s a mystery-fueled story, soaked in neon-colored weirdness.
It does get a little repetitive at times (after all, there’s some limitations as to how many things can happen in a locked restroom, right?), but it manages to reel it in and keeps you interested enough in watching how everything unfolds and this makes it an interesting chamber piece. There’s a few surprises and twists that keeps fueling the mystery, especially concerning the main character Wes with whom we are getting subtle hints about his true identity every now and then, but it’s not getting properly pieced together until the end. There’s a little bit of blood and gore and a few slightly gross parts, and despite the limited scenery it’s actually quite visual with use of vibrant colors.
If you want something a little quirky, wacky and weird, something to not take too seriously, then Glorious is a nice watch, although it will definitely not appeal to everyone.
Director: Rebekah McKendry
Writers: Todd Rigney, Joshua Hull, David Ian McKendry
Country & year: USA, 2022
Actors: Ryan Kwanten, J.K. Simmons, Sylvia Grace Crim, André Lamar, Tordy Clark
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12724306/
The Harper family suffers from the recent death of the mother, who died in a car accident. Will, the husband, is struggling coming to terms with it and despite working as a therapist he doesn’t communicate well with his daughters, Sadie and Sawyer, who are suffering on their own. Sawyer, the youngest, is having nightmares and finds herself in need of keeping night lights on in order to sleep, while Sadie is having a hard time adjusting back into school as her friend has joined a group of girls who keeps treating Sadie like shit. While the whole family is suffering enough already, Will one day gets a man into his office who seems desperate to speak to him. The man’s name is Lester Billings, who explains that all of his three children are dead and that he is suspected of having killed them. He claims that some kind of entity is behind his children’s murders, and Will is getting the heebie-jeebies from the guy’s attitude and decides to secretly call the police while leaving the man alone in the therapy room. From bad to worse, this man slips away into the house and hangs himself in a closet, which Sadie is unfortunate enough to see and becomes even more traumatized than she already was. After Lester’s suicide, things are starting to become strange around the house of the Harper family. Sawyer starts noticing small glimpses of a creature hiding under her bed, and Sadie also starts noticing weird things. Soon, the girls realize that Lester Billings brought his children’s murderer to their own house.
The Boogeyman is a 2023 supernatural horror film directed by Rob Savage (Host). The movie was actually originally announced in 2018 with Beck and Woods writing the screenplay, but due to Disney’s acquisition of Fox it was cancelled in 2019, only to be revived in 2021 with Savage in the directing chair. It was also originally planned to just be released on the streaming service Hulu, but Disney instead opted for a theatrical release after positive response during the test screenings, and even Stephen King sent feedback about enjoying it, in which he wrote in an e-mail to Savage “They’d be fucking stupid to release this on streaming and not in cinemas“.
The Boogeyman is based on a short story by Stephen King from 1973, which is included in Night Shift (for more movies based on stories from Night Shift, check out The Mangler and Graveyard Shift). There are significant changes from the short story to the movie version, however, as the original is pretty much a one-room story about a man coming into a therapist’s office to talk about his dead children, which he believes have been killed by “the boogeyman”. The story is actually quite suspenseful, keeping the reader guessing as to what actually happened with the man’s children as he doesn’t exactly come off as the most sympathetic of people. And there’s the twist ending too, of course. So, how does the movie compare?
First off: while parts of the short story has been kept in the movie, it is of course very different as the man in the story (Lester Billings) is not the main character here. We also get more than a few of the modern horror tropes: dead family member, grief, single parent, etc. and as most supernatural horror movies these days fare, it’s not exactly scary. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, because overall it’s quite decent as a typical streamlined horror flick with supernatural elements (and of course, it’s considerably better than the Boogeyman movie from 2005, which doesn’t have anything to do with the Stephen King short by the way). Not unexpectedly, there’s no originality here, but the main issue with the movie is the pacing where there’s some parts that takes a little too long to come off.
The strength in this movie lies in it being relatively well-crafted which lifts it some cuts above average, and there’s a dark oppressive atmosphere throughout. It’s using grief as some kind of metaphor for the monster, and the boogeyman looks fairly okay (although, of course, he looks creepier when you only see him in the shadows during small glimpses). It’s not a movie that will make you turn your night lights on, but at least it’s a decent watch.
Director: Rob Savage
Writers: Scott Beck, Bryan Woods, Mark Heyman
Country & year: USA, Canada, 2023
Actors: Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu, Maddie Nichols, Leeann Ross, Rio Sarah Machado
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt3427252/
An experimental documentary exploring a sinister theory surrounding the death of Cleveland baseball player Ray Chapman in 1920 and the subsequent rise of the Yankee dynasty.
The Beaning is an experimental and fever-dreamish mockumentary horror short, giving an occult view on baseball!
Director: Sean McCoy
Writer: Sean McCoy
Country & year: USA, 2017
Actors: Mark C. Fullhardt, Pete Mullin, James Sawaya
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt7616534/
Once upon a time, the unicorns lived together with the bears in a magical forest. But one day, the bears found a sacred book in the ruins of a church, which gave them knowledge to form their own civilization. The bears, evolving into “teddy bears”, wanted to cultivate the forest but this caused the unicorns to retaliate. In the end, the bears lost and were exiled from the forest. This all lead to an ongoing war between the unicorns and the bears, where the bears have started to believe that drinking the blood of the last unicorn will make God return to the forest.
In present time, we follow a troop of recruits including the twin brothers Gordi and Azulin (“Tubby” and “Bluey”). While Gordi is a chubby and gentle person, Azulin is narcissistic and filled with jealousy and rage, often picking fights with the other troop members. One day, the camp’s leaders send the troop into the forest to look for a missing squad, which leads them all into a beautiful but deathly place. Here, they do not only meet with the threat of the unicorns, but also the nature which they no longer feel accustomed to, and threats are everywhere, including amongst themselves.
Unicorn Wars is a 2022 Spanish-French animated splatter war film (yes, you read that right) and the second animated feature film by Alberto Vazquez. It is also based on a short, called Unicorn Blood (Sangre de Unicornio). While his first feature film, Birdboy (co-directed by Pedro Rivero) is more gloomy and downbeat, this one takes everything to the max with full-on splatter scenes and deaths by the dozens, all combined with absolutely beautiful visuals. The opening scene, where a lost unicorn is searching for its mother and comes upon the ruins of the old church which contains a shape-shifting monster, is brilliantly animated and gave me a little bit of Princess Mononoke-vibes. At this point I’ll assume that parents who put this movie on by mistake already got a clear warning that this ain’t no kids movie. And like in Birdboy, the characters who might appear to be simple in style are very full of life with detailed expressions. The colours are vibrant and makes everything quite captivating for the eyes, and even the gory scenes are very pretty in their own way. Yes, you also read that right.
While some might read the description of this movie at places where the gore is in main focus, they might end up thinking this is some kind of full-length Happy Tree Friends or something, but it’s not just all about gore and it’s oftentimes both dark and gritty. Not unlike Birdboy, the movie does have a lot of dark themes which includes not only the dark sides of war and propaganda, but also family issues, narcissism, and sibling jealousy. While Unicorn Wars is having more dark comedy elements and at times feels a little more lighthearted through some of its scenes, it becomes quickly obvious through all the graphic violence and the excessive extent to which the film actually takes it, that this is a dark and twisted anti-war tale where barely anyone is truly innocent, and the little innocence that exists is quickly corrupted or swiped away. Both Catholicism and war is loudly criticised here, and while Vazquez’s inspirations likely came from many things, he does seem to have an apparent affection for “war is hell” movies.
Unicorn Wars, with its enchanting visuals, gore and philosophical themes, is both gruesome in its violence but at the same time quite mesmerizing to watch. And it certainly does not hold back on the gore. There’s something rather fascinating about watching adorable anthropomorphized characters in such dark and edgy situations…like watching the Care Bears go into a bloody war with My Little Pony…
Writer and director: Alberto Vázquez
Country & year: Spain, France, 2022
Voice actors: Jon Goiri, Jaione Insausti, Ramón Barea, Txema Regalado, Manu Heras, Gaizka Soria, Iker Diaz, Estívaliz Lizárraga, Pedro Arrieta, Alberto Vázquez, Rosa María Romay
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt10483152/
On an island inhabited by different talking animals, the building of a factory and its explosion caused the once thriving fishing community to become a devastated and barren place. Birdman, who once used to tend the island’s lighthouse and now appears to be struggling providing for himself and his son Birdboy, becomes suspected of trafficking drugs, and is eventually shot dead. Instead of drugs, however, they find a satchel on him which contains golden acorns.
Birdboy, growing up without his father and living alone, desperately tries to fight his inner demons by taking drugs which he buys from a piglet who owns a fishing boat. Meanwhile, Dinky, a young mouse who is having some kind of romantic relationship with Birdboy finds herself struggling after her father’s death, where her stepfather, a Christian fundamentalist, keeps controlling their family and constantly excoriate her for her so-called “misbehaviour”. Together with Sandra the rabbit and Little Fox, they plan to get away from the island, but need money for their escape. They’ve heard stories about the older brother of someone who is said to have left the island and now lives a happy life, and they are determined to get away themselves. Dinky also wants to persuade Birdboy to come with them.
Birdboy: The Forgotten Children (Psiconautas, los niños olvidados) aka Psychonauts, The Forgotten Children is an adult animated horror-drama film from 2015, written and directed by Alberto Vázquez and Pedro Rivero. In 2016 it won the Best Animated Feature price at the Goya Awards. It is based on a comic called Psiconautas by Vázquez, and works as a follow-up to their short film called Birdboy. And despite this movie starring talking animals, don’t expect for a second to find any kind of Looney Tunes vibes here, it’s a nihilistic coming-of-age story which is gloomy as hell but at the same time gorgeous to watch. The characters, despite appearing a bit simple, are brought to life with detailed expressions. The dark and macabre elements including drugs, addiction, violence, depression, the darkness within us and a rotten corrupted society in complete denial are all embraced in a way that turns it into something dark and decayed yet not bereft of beauty. While we follow Birdboy’s and Dinky’s adventures somewhat separately, we soon realize that despite all of Birdboy’s struggles, he’s actually maintaining a little isolated spot in a grotto, where he plants golden acorns which makes the little place grow and thrive like in the old days.
There are also some partly surrealistic scenes with a weird (and annoying) talking robot-clock, a bleeding Jesus doll and the demons constantly attacking Birdboy which are obvious metaphors for his anxiety/depression/troubles, aka “inner demons” which he tries to suppress with drugs (and we all know that such a strategy never works in the long run). Birdboy and Dinky, while both struggling with their own problems, each come off different in their ways of handling things. Dinky sees escape as the only option, while Birdboy, despite all his troubles, manages to create a small place in his life for growth and solace. While the world the film represents appears to be without hope, there is a message both within (and at the end) which clearly states that running away from problems isn’t the answer, and in order to attain happiness you can create and seek beauty from your current state. But, of course, Birdboy is pretty much the only character who manages this to some extent, as pretty much all the other characters are struggling with their own inner demons, fears and ailments (like the piglet, who has a bedridden mother struggling from addiction, which manifests itself as a talking spider, and Sandra the rabbit who keeps hearing voices inside her head, trying to force her to do terrible things). Vãzquez himself stated in an interview that the story itself is very much a metaphor about life, portraying the end of childhood as these kids have to face a new world. “The characters have to face a new world and they don’t like the world. They have to rebuild it again — that’s why the characters think about running away,” Vázquez explains. “In life you can’t run away that easily. And we have to come back to our island and fix it up a little bit.” Rivero also commented on the film’s dark themes, stating “I see life as just a mix — sometimes we have dark; sometimes we have light. Just because you work with darkness doesn’t mean your life is dark. It’s because these are themes that are interesting. It touches everybody. But it is not good to take it into your personal life.”
Birdboy: The Forgotten Children is a passionately made and intellectually challenging “animation for grown-ups”, with its beautifully animated nihilism giving an impactful visual and emotional experience.
Writers and directors: Pedro Rivero, Alberto Vázquez
Original title: Psiconautas, los niños olvidados
Country & year: Spain, Japan, 2015
Voice actors: Andrea Alzuri, Eba Ojanguren, Josu Cubero, Félix Arcarazo, Jorge Carrero, Nuria Marín, Josu Varela, Jon Goiri, Maribel Legarreta, Iker Diez, Juan Carlos Loriz, Kepa Cueto
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt5004766/
As a woman packs up her childhood home following the passing of her father, she comes to learn that there may have been a more sinister threat behind his death, long buried on the grounds of the family home.
In the Shadow of God is a creepy horror short with a lot of dread-inducing atmosphere.
Director: Brian Sepanzyk
Writer: Brian Sepanzyk
Country & year: USA, 2022
Actors: Sara Canning, Andrew Roy Drury, Mark Kandborg, Adam Lolacher, Brittany Willacy
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt21051782/
