The Frighteners (1996)

The FrightenersAre you troubled by strange sounds in the middle of the night?
Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter or a ghost?

 

If the answer is yes, pick up your phone and call the professionals: GHOSTB…I mean Frank Bannister, a true shameless conman that will suck all your money out of your pocket faster than the closet mouth in Carol Anne’s bedroom.

 

We’re in the small coastal town of Fairwater where Frank Bannister (Michael J. Fox), a chronically depressed “psychic investigator“, drives around in his rusty, yellow Volkswagen Beetle like a madman, throwing away a handful of business cards at random funerals, and does his best to make a not-so earnest living. And here’s the thing: Frank is actually a psychic who can see ghosts clear as day, everywhere he goes, and even lives with three of them in his half-built hillside house: the gunslinger Judge, the disco afroman Cyrus, and the uncool ’80s nerd Stuart. Sounds fun. But instead of investigating real hauntings, Frank uses Cyrus and Stuart to stage false haunting scenarios so he can basically just come in, switch on the lights and write the check. How clever. Judge, on the other hand, is too old to spook around (yes, even ghosts can get old). I guess that being dead isn’t such a luxury, after all.

 

Then folks around the town start to die suddenly, at a high rate, while Frank sees numbers carved on peoples’ foreheads as a premonition, which seem to draw some connections with the dead notorious serial killer Johnny Bartlett. So, maybe it’s time to cut down the booze and start some serious ghost hunting. Well, that’s maybe easier said than done when Frank himself gets investigated by the FBI for being accused of killing his wife who died in a car accident after Frank’s reckless driving some years back. And if you thought Mulder was “spooky“, then say hello to Milton Dammers (Jeffery Combs). Yikes.

 

The Frighteners

 

The Frighteners is truly something special, directed by Peter Jackson and co-written with his wife Fran Walsh. It blends the comedy and the “seriousness“ like Ghostbusters (1984) and the more cartoonish elements from Beetlejuice (1988), Casper (1995), and even some grimy true-crime elements. A script like this, with its many layers, subplots, slapstick comedy and more dark horror could easily have been an epic tonal disaster. But like a lightening in a bottle, it works.

 

There are a lot of colorful characters here and the three ghosts Frank lives with is just the tip of the iceberg. A particular standout here is Jeffrey Combs as Milton -Sieg Heil- Dammers. And there’s nothing shady about him. He only looks like if Adolf Hitler and Judge Doom had a baby, possessed by the paranoid ghost of Jim Carrey (don’t panic, Jim is alive and well, but you get the point). I could watch a whole spin-off with this guy. Then you have the cameo of none other than Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, I mean R. Lee Ermey, as a ghost who protects the local cemetery, and who can’t get enough to showcase his goddamn rights to the Second Amendment. God Bless America, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Rumors say that his screentime is taken from the Full Metal Jacket audition tapes.

 

Jake Busey certainly looks the part as Johnny (The Homicidal Maniac) with his dead eyes and hideous mouth. Michael J. Fox’s performance as the broken, depressed and desperate shell of a man is a big contrast of his signature role Marty McFly. Fox actually turned down the role as Edward Douglas in The Island of Dr. Moreau (yes, that one) to be in The Frighteners.  And ‘boy, even though this wasn’t the biggest moneymaker at the box-office, we can say that he dodged a huge bullet. Dee Wallace also have a central role here as, well, that’s all I can say without slipping too much into spoilers. Danny Elfman gives a fitting and spooky Danny Elfman score, I at least can say.

 

The film goes heavy on CGI, all created by Wētā FX, who also did the visual effects for the The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Avatar movies and Van Helsing, to mention some. The post-production to add the visual effects took 18 intense months. After the 15 artists at Wētā was on the verge of getting burned-out, George Lucas’ company, Industrial Light & Magic, had to step in to give a helping hand. Sounds like a messy disaster already, but Universal was so impressed with the final cut that they wanted to release the film right away instead of waiting three months for October, which was its intended release. Not a good plan since the film barely made back its budget. And maybe the R-rating was a factor. Who knows.

 

In Norway, my home country, the film flopped so hard that it didn’t even survive the first week before it was pulled from the theaters. A prime example of how a flop does not equal a terrible product. The Frighteners holds up, 30 years after its release and is an absolutely delightful fun spookyride. And on October 26, (yes, tomorrow) the film gets a 4k/Blu-ray release from Arrow Video. Happy anniversary!

 

The Frighteners The Frighteners The Frighteners

 

 

Director: Peter Jackson
Writers: Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh
Country & year: USA/New Zealand, 1996
Actors: Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, Peter Dobson, John Astin, Jeffrey Combs, Dee Wallace, Jake Busey, Chi McBride, Jim Fyfe, Troy Evans, Julianna McCarthy, R. Lee Ermey
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116365/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Braindead (1992)

BraindeadThere’s actually “film experts“ out there that are snobby enough to flat-out refuse to acknowledge Peter Jackson’s horror films pre Lord of the Rings. Well, more carnage goodies for the rest of us.

 

This unhinged goreshow from New Zealand starts at Skull Island, of all places, shot at the famous Pūtangirua Pinnacles. The year is 1957 and a team from Wellington Zoo has just trapped a Sumatran rat monkey in a small wooden crate. As they hurry back to the jeep, they get stopped by a group of natives who strongly advise them to not bring the monkey to the mainland. Because this is The Skull Island, after all. After they’ve run to the jeep with the natives on their tails, Stewart, the zoo official, gets bitten. “The little bugger bit me“, he says. Uh-oh. And the only cure for that is…singaya! His local guide kicks him off the jeep, picks up a machete and chops him to pieces after a scar pops up from his hands to his forehead. The gory cartoonish title card for Braindead, which alone sets the whole tone for what to expect, spatters to the screen just when they chop the poor man’s skull. What an intro!

 

After the rat monkey has been brought safely to New Zealand, we get introduced to the young and handsome, yet clumsy and awkward man Lionel, who lives with his mum, Vera, at a big house in the hills of Wellington. And we quickly learn that his mother is a guilt-tripping, narcissistic, bitter old hag who wants her boy all to herself. Yes, she’s one of those. Things change when he meets Paquita, a Spanish bird who works as a clerk in the local grocery store, and probably the very first female he ever had an interaction with. Love is finally in the air for Lionel as they go on a date to the zoo.

 

Jealous mum Vera spies on them around the zoo until she suddenly slips on a banana peel, holds on to some iron bars which are far enough from each other for the rat-monkey to take a good bite of her left arm. Her screams can be heard all up to North Korea. And, seriously, if it was that easy for the deadly monkey to reach that far from the cage, this would already happen on day one. Mum slams the monkey down with her purse and plunges the poor bugger to death with her high heels. And mum now has a new great excuse to keep her boy to herself as she needs daily medical care. So, love is in the backburner, for now.

 

Braindead

 

The disease spreads slowly enough, so mum can have a painful death as she falls apart and transforms into a rabid zombie while poor Lionel does everything in his naive power to help her. Mum almost rips the head off nurse Tavish with her bare hands, which makes her head hanging upside-down from her neck. Lionel quickly throws her and mum in the basement, where he soon will have a fine collection of other stiffs. But as we say: context is everything. Mum manages to escape and shuffles her way into town where she gets hit by a tram and finally dies. Well, so we thought. The next on schedule is a messy, disastrous funeral where the scummy, sleazy and sadistic uncle Les is having a big fat schadenfreude belly-laugh. And we’ll see more of Uncle Les, you can bet on that. Poor Lionel.

 

After she gets put to the ground, Lionel pays a visit the same night to pull an Ed Gein and dig her up. Because he believes that she’s still alive and, like the good loyal son that he is, he has to take care of her. A group of drunk hooligans pops up and get the funny idea by pissing on Vera’s grave. “It’s my mother you’re pissing on“, says Lionel, as he just expects what to happen next. Mum’s hand burst out of the soil, grabs the dick, and…well, the juice is loose! Lionel injects the zombies with some strong sedatives that he bought on the black market from a neo-Nazi and hides them back home in the basement. Uncle Les throws a big house party after that greasy slob has ensured himself to inherit the house after some blackmailing. And of course, the stiffs downstairs want to chime in. This will be a fun night to remember. Oh yes, indeed.

 

There’s so much insane shit going on here where we have the one classic moment after another. We have two dinner scenes, the one more gross than the other. And all I can say is not to eat custard pudding while watching. Stick to popcorn or something very crisp. Just trust me on that one. The I Kick Ass for the Lord scene alone is Oscar worthy, and that the Kung fu priest looks like Father Ted, makes the icing on the cake. This Uncle Les guy also reminds me of someone but I can’t quite put the finger on it. Maybe you can (haha). A zombie baby is born where we have a wholesome moment where Lionel is out with the newborn in a park, hidden behind a net of bar wires in his carriage. This scene is Peter Jackson’s own favorite. The 1950s setting with its rockabilly atmosphere also gives Braindead its own unique flair and some extra charm. The effects, which are all from stop-motion, practical to puppetry, are top-tier with a handful of gleefully morbid gags.

 

Overall, there isn’t a single dull moment here, and Peter Jackson’s unique directing style, his great sense of morbid, absurd gallows splatstick humor, makes it worth quoting narrator Percy Rodriguez, who says it best in the trailer: a modern masterpiece of horror. Well, not so modern anymore, but still a masterpiece.

 

And then we have the big question: is this the goriest film ever made? Could be. Just in the final scene alone, the one with the lawnmower, 300 liters of fake blood was used, five gallons per second. The legend says that they’re still cleaning up the sets. All the leftovers that weren’t used were pumped into the Hutt river not so far from Wellington, and the production got into trouble when the residents saw the river turning red and contacted the authorities as they thought there was a serious massacre going on. Well, that wasn’t too far from the truth. So, with that trivia gold-nugget alone, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is actually the goriest film ever made.  Premutos – The Fallen Angel (1997) is maybe the one who comes closest.

 

Braindead isn’t available on any streaming services as far as I know, and the old DVD’s that were released way back in the day are out-of-print. And the talks and rumors of an official 4K UHD release, along with Bad Taste and Meet the Feebles, have been going on for so many years now with a numerous of “coming next year“ announcements that we just have to see it to believe it. The only thing to dig up is a Spanish DVD/Blu-ray and I have no idea what that one looks like.

 

Braindead Braindead Braindead

 

 

 

Director: Peter Jackson
Writers: Stephen Sinclair, Fran Walsh, Peter Jackson
Also known as: Dead Alive (North America)
Country & year: New Zealand, 1992
Actors: Timothy Balme, Diana Peñalver, Elizabeth Moody, Ian Watkin, Brenda Kendall, Stuart Devenie, Jed Brophy, Elizabeth Brimilcombe, Stephen Papps, Murray Keane, Glenis Levestam, Lewis Rowe
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103873/

 

Tom Ghoul