Arachnid (2001)

ArachnidJoli Mercer is piloting a stealth plane in the South Pacific, when a translucent spacecraft suddenly appears (in a scene with such godawful CGI effects it could have belonged in The Amazing Bulk). Poor Joli crashes with the thing as his plane begins to malfunction, but his bad luck doesn’t end there. He crashes on an island, together with the alien ship. He sees a desperate-looking translucent alien-thing which is suddenly attacked by a giant spider monster, which then kills Joli as well. Then, ten months later, Joli’s sister is on the search for him. She’s been hired to be the pilot of a medical expedition who are doing research after natives on the island have started dying from an unknown virus. Upon reaching the island, the plane starts malfunctioning and they need to do an emergency landing on the beach. From there on, they have to trudge through the jungle in order to reach their destination, and they discover that the insects around the area have mutated into large and more deadly creatures. One of the guys in the expedition gets attack by giant ticks that starts burrowing into his body, and a giant centipede is killing one of the natives. And no, they didn’t crash-land on Skull Island. Aside from all the horrible creatures, the biggest threat of them all is a giant spider: the killer arachnid from outer space.

 

You know a movie is a stinker when the director himself says he only did it for the money… I basically did it for the money and it was a stupid script … I got to live in Barcelona for six months and, you know, they paid me well. Everything was good except I had to go to work everyday and shoot a dumb script. I haven’t seen that one since, you know, I made it. And some people say ‘Oh well, it’s actually better than you think’, but I basically tell people to avoid that one is what Jack Sholder (A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, The Hidden) said about this film. Alright, then, that’s a way to wash your hands clean of something. We all need food on the table and can’t always work on passion projects…

 

Arachnid was released in 2001, and was the second film to be released under the Fantastic Factory Label (the first one being Faust: Love of the Damned from 2000) which was created by Brian Yuzna (Society, The Dentist) and Julio Fernandez in Spain. It was written by Mark Sevi, and then re-written together with Yuzna. The main spider design and the other creatures that used practical effects, were created by Steve Johnson. The film received a very negative reception upon its release, and while it’s easy to see this is one of those movies, it’s actually a bunch of fun, much thanks to the practical effects which are actually pretty decent and feels like a nice little throwback. Already from the funnily sloppy opening scene you know what you’re in for, so better brace yourself for leaving your brain on the shelf for a little while. As we get introduced to character by character, one more clichéd than the other, the killings and creatures are what’s the highlight of the movie. There isn’t a huge amount of gore here (which is a shame, really, as that could have added an extra spritz on the already goofy concept), but there’s still some nice scenes, especially the one involving the ticks that eat their way out. Yum.

 

What makes the movie suffer from being a truly fun B-horror movie, is that the pacing is a bit too slow and the characters feel a bit too dull. A quicker pace, more interesting characters and more kills could have lifted the movie up several notches. Yes, it would still have been a bad movie, but a bit more enjoyable. Overall though, Arachnid is a fun enough creature feature B-movie with some charming old-school effects.

 

Arachnid Arachnid Arachnid

 

Director: Jack Sholder
Writer: Mark Sevi
Country & year: Spain, USA, Mexico, 2001
Actors: Chris Potter, Alex Reid, José Sancho, Neus Asensi, Ravil Isyanov, Luis Lorenzo Crespo, Rocqueford Allen, Jesús Cabrero, Robert Vicencio
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0271972/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

The Hidden (1987)

The Hidden

It’s apparently a regular sunny day in Los Angeles, where the random middle-aged guy Jack DeVries (Chris Mulkey) brutally robs a bank and storms off in a black Ferrari. He drives in full speed like a madman through the famous Echo Park, hits an old geezer in a wheelchair while he headbangs to some hair metal on the radio, and goes pretty much into full GTA-mode. His crazy adventure is quickly going towards an end when the police blocks the road, blows his car to flames, and… the guy walks out of the burning car and gets bullet-stormed by the police. He miraculously survives and…Nothing to see here, folks, move along. He gets brought to the hospital while the police scratch their heads and struggle to come to a conclusion as to why this man, with no criminal record, suddenly snapped…and how the hell he’s still alive. On top of that, he had during the last two weeks killed twelve people, stolen six sport cars, robbed eight banks and six supermarkets, four jewelry stores and one candy store. He even murdered two kids with a butcher knife. Good Lord…

 

DeVries wakes up in the hospital, gets out off the bed and approaches the unconscious patient next to him where he spews out a slimy parasite-like creature into his mouth so he can transfer to another body and continue the killing spree journey of looting and mayhem. The police officer Tom Beck (Michael Nouri) teams up with the FBI agent Lloyd Gallager (Kyle MacLachlan) to get to the bottom of this what-the-holy-fuck case that quickly gets weirder and weirder.

 

The Hidden is really what you could call a hidden gem, and it’s pure fun from start to finish. Director Jack Sholder is probably most known for Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge and the hilarious Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies, and even though The Hidden is more action driven with elements of dark comedy, drama, and a dose of 80s political incorrectness, he does a great job stitching it together to a fast-paced and highly entertaining B-movie. With a budget of five million dollars, which is basically nothing in today’s standard, there’s many well-crafted scenes with some wild car chases, gunfights, explosions, and of course a parasite-possessed stripper going berserk while fucking a guy to death in his car. While I wish we could see more of the alien itself, our partners Lloyd and Tom makes up for it with some great and somewhat bizarre buddy-cop dynamics, which manages to drive the quite simple plot fast and steady (or furious, if you will.) It’s also worth to mention that Kyle MacLachlan brought a lot of the character in The Hidden over to his most known role in Twin Peaks as Agent Cooper three years later, and the similarities are quite striking.

 

And yeah, a direct-to-video sequel was made in ’93, and it looks like… well, see for yourself.

 

The Hidden

 

Director: Jack Sholder
Country & year: USA, 1987
Actors: Kyle MacLachlan, Michael Nouri, Claudia Christian, Clarence Felder, Clu Gulager, Ed O’Ross, William Boyett, Richard Brooks, Larry Cedar, Katherine Cannon, John McCann, Chris Mulkey, Lin Shaye, James Luisi, Frank Renzulli
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0093185/

 

 

Tom Ghoul