If there’s one creepy Nun film from this year that’s worth watching, it’s Sister Death. This is a standalone prequel about the blind chain-smoking old nun we saw lurking in a few scenes in Verónica (2017) – written and directed by Paco Plaza, the other half of the very talented Spanish duo behind the [REC] films.
The film starts with a cryptic opening in the year 1939, where a girl named Narcisa gets revered by some village people after it’s known that she has a vision of the Blessed Virgin Mary. On the outside, the whole thing looks more sinister and unsettling as it’s filmed in grainy black and white with something that looks similar to a super 8. And more sinister it gets ten years later, right upon the post-war era, as Narcisa (Aria Bedmar) grows up to be a nun teaching young girls at a convent.
She gets a warm welcome by Mother Superior, who’s very thrilled to meet the Holy Girl herself, who has become a big news story throughout the years. Not everyone in the convent seem to share the same enthusiasm, though. We get the sense of the environment right away with the quiet, bleak and monotonous life at the convent. The day-to-day rituals get disturbed after Narcisa finds a box hidden in her room which contains scissors and a picture of a deceased nun with a dark history.
As Narcisa tries her best to get through the days with her teaching, vows, praying and all that follows a life in a convent, she slips more and more into a rabbit hole by seeing creepy visions left and right, having nightmares of eating eyeballs hidden in freshly-made cookies and getting lead to dark places in the convent that she isn’t supposed to know of. And there’s a drawing of an incomplete hangman that appears on the wall in Narcisa’s room which seems to expand as paranormal things escalate. The girls start to experience spooky things as well and it’s only up to Narcisa to use her holy abilities to get to the bottom of the mystery surrounding the convent.
Sister Death is a slow burner and a paranormal thriller of the very old school type. Not as old as the convent here itself, but something that could have been from the 1970s. The special effects are minimal, where Paco Plaza concentrates more on a mystery filled with cryptic hints that has to be put together. Sister Death is a very quiet film where you really get the sense of the almost lifeless environment of the convent. The atmosphere is cold and eerie with an already underlying tension that slowly builds up like a damping locomotive to the shocking and eye-opening (pun intended) revelation. Señor Plaza knows how to squeeze out the best from his line of actors, and especially Aria Bedmar, who gives the best horror film performance of the year, horns down.
Sister Death is only available on Netflix, which explains some of the muddy and low-quality in some of the screenshots. The darkest scenes in the film look so horrendous that I’m almost lost for words, and this has been an ongoing issue with Netflix. We have the standard account with 1080p, and it looks like something from a 480 pixel YouTube video from 2007. The quality also seems to depend on which browser you use. What a load of poop. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to streaming. There are several issues with Netflix and other streaming services for that matter, most notably how they have the habit of canceling every new show after one or two seasons. Business as usual, I guess. And it seems to only get worse. It’s also a sad, fucking shame that Guillermo del Toro, of all people, has slipped into the streaming sewer and signed with Netflix, so he can finally make his Frankenstein movie. At least that film will have a physical release, which seems to be unlikely for Sister Death, which would look stunning on a Blu-ray package. Happy new year.
Director: Paco Plaza Writers: Jorge Guerricaechevarría, Paco Plaza Original title: Hermana muerte Country & year: Spain, 2023 Actors: Aria Bedmar, Maru Valdivielso, Luisa Merelas, Chelo Vivares, Sara Roch, Olimpia Roch, Adriana Camarena, Martina Delgado, Claudia Fernández Arroyo, Almudena Amor, Sandra Escacena IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt19175696/
In the small town of Castle Rock, Maine, a man named Leland Gaunt arrives in a sinister-looking black car. He opens a new antique store called “Needful Things”, where he sells various items which appears to have great personal value for some of the residents in town. And the price isn’t only in money: he also demands small “favours” from the buyers which are usually pranks they have to pull on other people. Like Gaunt’s first customer, a young boy named Brian Rusk, who wants to buy a rare baseball card and has to prank his neighbor Wilma in order to buy it. Sounds like a very unusual business practice, right? But the people just can’t stay away from the shop, everyone finds something they need there. Or, at least, something they think they need. And the pranks often come with a snowball-effect where things keep getting worse, and the pranks also becomes more violent, and even results in several deaths. The sheriff, Alan Pangborn, becomes suspicious of Gaunt and begins to suspect that he may not be what he seems.
Needful things is a horror film from 1993, based on Stephen King’s novel from 1991 by the same name. The film was directed by Fraser C. Heston. Upon its release there were mixed reviews, often negative and praising the performances but criticizing how it felt inferior to the source material. I haven’t read the book, so personally I cannot comment on this part.
The movie gives off a somewhat fun vibe, showing you early on that it never takes itself too seriously. There’s a slightly lighthearted tone to it, despite all the people turning on each other and causing all kinds of problems, even death. It’s amusing, all aside from a certain scene with a dog which is actually quite unpleasant. The amusing parts consists of how the shop’s customers are eagerly willing to “prank” other people in order to get what they want. It’s fun, and you keep wondering how far it will go. And sure: while the “pranks” start out innocently enough, the violence escalates, starting with that incident with the dog and the owner, a woman named Nettie, suspecting another woman for being behind it. And things get bloody.
The sheriff of the town, played by Ed Harris, is one of the few becoming suspicious of the new shop in town and its quirky owner, who is (and this isn’t really much of a spoiler) the devil himself. The portrayal of the devil as the shop owner Leland Gaunt, who is setting people up against each other and sitting back watching everything unfold, is actually quite clever in its simplicity. He never gets his own hands dirty, just tease people with things they want (or “need” in their own eyes), and then they are quite easily herded like a bunch of sheep. Typical human behavior makes everything easier for the evil ones, doesn’t it…
Needful Things is a fun popcorn-film, held up by some good performances especially by Ed Harris as the sheriff and Max Von Sydow as the shop owner Gaunt. It doesn’t offer any scares or a lasting impact, but it’s a fun watch when you take it for what it is.
Director: Fraser C. Heston Writer: W.D. Richter Country & year: US, Canada, 1993 Actors: Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, J.T. Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield, Shane Meier, William Morgan Sheppard, Don S. Davis, Campbell Lane IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0107665/
A woman starts taking down the Christmas tree before the holidays are over, since they’re going away. Her boyfriend warns her this will be a bad omen and could cause bad things to happen. They joke about it, but his warning soon proves to come true..
A Christmas Horror Story (aka Not Before Christmas/Merry Christmas) is a simple and fun holiday-themed horror short!
Director: Alex Magaña Writer: Jed Brian, Alex Magaña Country & year: USA, 2021 Actors: Marta Castellví, Diego Paz IMDb:www.imdb.com/title/tt16741336/
You better run, You better take cover, as some Men at Work once said. Because it’s not everyday a whole class of children gets the thrilling adventure of being kidnapped by Dabby Duck, Pussy Cat, Mac The Mouse and even Father Christmas himself.
This little and pretty much forgotten gem from Down Under is based on the book by the same name by Gabrielle Lord – a story that’s loosely based on the Faraday School kidnapping which took place in Victoria, Australia. The year was 1972 in the rural town of Faraday when the two men, John Eastwood and Robert Clyde Boland, kidnapped those from a one-teacher school with six female pupils and the teacher and demanded a $1,000,000 ransom. To cut the story short, the victims managed to escape and the kidnappers were eventually caught, which got a prison sentence of 17 years.
The story should have ended here, but there’s a part 2. One of the two the kidnappers, Eastwood, escaped prison in 1976, and since old habits die hard, he kidnapped another teacher with nine pupils in Wooreen State School in Gippsland, Victoria. The whole incident went in full GTA mode with five wanted stars already when he crashed his stolen van into a long truck and held the driver and his partner hostage. Another truck came where Eastwood waved and made it stop. He took the driver and the passenger hostage. But it doesn’t stop here: he made a campervan with two females pull over.
He now had sixteen (!) hostages. Not bad, mate! He demanded a ransom of US$7 million, guns, 100 kilograms of heroin and cocaine, and the release of seventeen inmates from Pentridge Prison. Surprised that he didn’t demand a pack of hookers while he was at it. Like in the first incident, one of the victims escaped and contacted the police. As Eastwood tried to flee with the rest of his hostages, the police managed to disable his hijacked campervan with gunfire. He got a wound-shot and was brought back to his orange jumpsuit. None of the victims was hurt or killed during these incidents. Eastwood was in-and-out of prison until he was a free man in 1992 and got a job as a truckdriver.
Now back to Dabby Duck, Pussy Cat, Mac The Mouse and Father Christmas.
Sally Jones is a teacher in the middle of nowhere in a small, primitive community in Australia, also called The Outback. It’s a regular hot sunny day and Sally gets herself ready for another day in the one-room school with her nine pupils. The youngest is six, while the oldest is sixteen and we have both boys and girls. A regular day gets suddenly interrupted when four armed men wearing furry masks, led by the one wearing the classic and creepy santa mask (Father Christmas), the perfect nightmare fuel for toddlers with santaphobia.
We’re going on a PICNIC, Father Christmas says, before they toss the kids and Sally back in a rusty van like they were pigs taken to the slaughterhouse. The six-year old seems to get the roughest experience as they treat him like a ragdoll, and the poor kid seems traumatized from the start as he has eyes like a shell-shocked WW1 veteran.
After some bumps in the road, and a toilet break that almost went catastrophic, they take them farther into rural wilderness where they force our captives to jump into a hole in the ground that leads to an underwater cave. And yes, we learn that they are taken for ransom and not doing this just for the hell of it. And today’s lesson from teacher Sally, who seems to have a far stronger psyche than the four kidnappers combined and a spine of iron, is to survive. In other words, Father Christmas and company will eventually learn that they fucked with the wrong teacher.
Fortress takes this hostage journey on a whole other path than the true story it’s based on, to put that mildly. It’s Lord of the Flies meets Far Cry Primal with some flavors of The Goonies. A pretty simple movie with a simple premise that was suitable enough for a television production made for American HBO. That being said, Fortress couldn’t look more cinematic. The cinematography here is pretty remarkable, already from the opening night scene with the tracking shot and the heavy 80s synth score, which sets the sinister and foreboding tone.
The gimmick with the masks gives the film a more unique distinctiveness rather than having four random dudes. Replace their saw-off shotguns with electric guitars and they’d look like a bizarre KISS coverband. However, as their main goal is to keep the teacher and her class as ransom, their demented and unhinged sociopathy oozes through their masks. They also plan to gang rape Sally. Because why not.
The acting is solid all the way, even from the child actors. Although Fortress may be predictable, the film is fast-paced with first-class tension with lots of adrenaline and no dull moments. It’s also a grim ride into the darker corners of the human psyche where the survival-mode instincts get pushed to the most extreme, primitive and barbaric red-zone level. The climax was originally longer and more graphic but was cut down before the film’s release, and it shows. Regardless, this is pure thrilling entertainment from start to finish.
Fortress was released on DVD by HBO Archives in 2006, which is still available at Amazon and CD Universe. No Blu-ray for the time being.
Director: Arch Nicholson Writer: Everett De Roche Country & year: Australia, 1985 Actors: Sean Garlick, Rachel Ward, Elaine Cusick, Laurie Moran, Marc Aden Gray, Ray Chubb, Bradley Meehan, Rebecca Rigg, Beth Buchanan, Asher Keddie, Anna Crawford, Richard Terrill, Vernon Wells, Peter Hehir, David Bradshaw, Roger Stephen IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0091069/
It’s 1921, and the author Florence Cathcart is working with the police in order to expose spiritualist fraud. During a “séance” she reveals all the medium’s tricks, but instead of being shown gratitude from the grieving mother who hoped to get in contact with her deceased child, she is instead met with a slap in the face. Some people would rather live in delusion, apparently. Upon arriving back home, she is visited by a guy called Robert Mallory, who wants her to investigate the sightings of a ghost boy who has been seen at the boy’s boarding school in Cumbria where he is a teacher. 20 years earlier, the school had been a private home. Upon arriving at the school, Florence meets the housekeeper, a woman named Maud Hill, who is a big fan of her book and says she keeps it right alongside her bible. Which is a bit ironic, considering Florence’s book is founded in skepticism…oh well. When Florence starts investigating, she first thinks the so-called supernatural events are nothing but children’s shenanigans, but soon she finds that the old house holds many secrets, and both recent events and those from the past slowly start unveiling themselves.
The Awakening is a British supernatural drama-horror film from 2011, directed by Nick Murphy and written by Stephen Volk (who also wrote Ghostwatch and The Guardian) and Murphy. It was shot on location in the United Kingdom, in Trinity Church Square London, Berwickshire, East Lothian, Lyme Park in Cheshire and Manderston House in Manderston. While the outside is Manderston House, the inside of the school was filmed in Marchmont House, both situated on the outskirts of Duns in the Scottish Borders.
The film is very much what you would expect, both from its description and first glimpses: a ghost story with a certain elegance, more drama than horror, but upheld with strong performances, a continuous build-up of mystery, and gorgeous cinematography. You could say that the movie is a little bit in the same category as The Others and The Orphanage. The main character is steeped with personal conflicts and grievances, with old secrets waiting to be revealed. It is told early in the film that Florence’s fiancé died during the war, and Robert has his fair share of issues after being traumatized by the war. With the story set in the early 1920’s, it’s a time where people had gotten used to an abundance of death both from the war and the influenza (Spanish Flu) that killed a lot of people during those times. And of course, some shady characters are thrown in as well: a sadistic school teacher, and a creepy groundskeeper who is very obviously up to no good.
Like in many a classic ghost story, the atmosphere is reliant on the surroundings, and here we get plenty of old buildings with all kinds of dark, creepy corners and ominous-looking paintings covering the walls. Much of what is happening is rather subtle, but there are some scenes with an old doll house which is quite effective. The Awakening is a classic, old-fashioned ghost story that won’t keep you awake at night, but it’s overall a nice addition to any collection of supernatural ghost horror movies.
Director: Nick Murphy Writers: Stephen Volk, Nick Murphy Country & year: UK, 2014 Actors: Rebecca Hall, Dominic West, Imelda Staunton, Isaac Hempstead Wright, Shaun Dooley, Joseph Mawle, Diana Kent, Richard Durden, ohn Shrapnel, Cal MacAninch, Lucy Cohu, Anastasia Hille IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1687901/
In a Japanese town, stories about Kuchisake-onna (The Slit-Mouthed Woman) are spread around. She’s a woman who’s got her mouth slit from side to side, dressed in a coat and wearing a face mask to conceal her looks. Carrying a rusty pair of scissors in her hands, it is said that she kidnaps children and kill them. She also asks those she meets on the street if they think she’s pretty, where the wrong answer will lead to horrible consequences. All of this, of course, sounds like a bunch of superstitious baloney, and only the children are taking this ridiculous story seriously while the adults just scoff at it. That is, until several children start disappearing. One day, a child even gets kidnapped right in front of the school teacher Matsuzaki. Together with her colleague she tries to uncover the truth about the legend of the “slit-mouthed woman”.
The Slit-Mouthed Woman (aka Carved) is based on a Japanese legend about the Kuchisake-onna, which is said to originate from sometime between year 794 and 1185, where the story is that a beautiful woman was mutilated by her jealous husband. He suspected her of being unfaithful to him, and thus he wanted to destroy her appearance. Later, it is said that she became a vengeful spirit who wanted to inflict the same pain and suffering on others as she experienced herself. The legend has many variations, and this movie has its own way of telling this story, set in a modern time.
The movie is directed by Kôji Shiraishi, who seems to have been directing a load of movies every year for quite some time, and is also the director of the found-footage/mockumentary horror movie Noroi (2005). Like many J-Horror movies, the supernatural is looming over everything, but the difference here is that it’s also mixing elements from a typical western slasher flick, which makes it an interesting combination. There is a bit of mystery, tension, and murders, all merged with the unmistakable dread-filled atmosphere of the supernatural J-Horror film. The makeup of The Slit-Mouthed Woman is decent, she’s genuinely creepy despite seeing her in full daylight most of the time, and unlike many J-Horror movies with ghostly villains, this one has a lot of scenes shot during the day.
The movie has a dark atmosphere and relies on some drama in order to fuel the characters as it becomes clear they also have their inner demons to struggle with, which they must come to terms with before trying to take on The Slit-Mouthed Woman. While the movie is somewhat predictable, and is not able to avoid the mistake of slowing things down a little too much during the second half of the movie, it’s still a very decent J-Horror movie about a well-known Japanese urban legend.
Director: Kôji Shiraishi Writers: Naoyuki Yokota, Kôji Shiraishi Original title: Kuchisake-onna Also known as: Carved Country & year: Japan, 2007 Actors: Eriko Satô, Haruhiko Katô, Chiharu Kawai, Rie Kuwana, Kazuyuki Matsuzawa, Kaori Sakagami, Sakina Kuwae, Yûto Kawase, Rio Nakamura, Ryôko Takizawa IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0891520/
The Conjuring 2 opens with the well-known Amityville case which took place in the late 1970s. The Warrens are gathered in the living room where a seance is about to begin. Lorraine goes into a trance which reminds me of The Further where she witnesses Ronald DeFeo murdering his own family of six with a shotgun. An intense segment that surpasses most of the countless Amityville films alone. Lorraine gets led down the cellar where she gets attacked by a creepy nun (yes, The Nun) that looks like the twin sister of Marilyn Manson and is about to see the most terrifying thing in her life. This is as close to Hell I ever wanna get, Lorraine says after waking up from the trance while sobbing in Ed’s arms. She’s had enough and wants to retire. Dream on, lady, cuz London is calling.
We then meet the struggling and freshly divorced mother Peggy Hodgson with her four kids who lives in a council house in the town of Enfield, north of London where the strong odor of black mold hits you like a brick. So does the old, brown leather chair that rots in the corner of the living room. The economy is in the toilet, times are bleak, and the only joy in life is to chew on biscuits while Margaret Thatcher is on TV bragging about her red dress. Things haven’t changed much.
Anyway, in order to avoid dying of total boredom under the already dire circumstances, the two daughters, Janet and Margaret, have made themselves a cute little spirit board to do exactly what it’s for. Janet starts to sleepwalk around the house and finds herself in the chair in the living room. She starts to behave like a Regan by growling and speaking in a raspy man’s voice and mumbling things like This is MY house! This, of course, scares her older sisters shitless, whom she shares the bedroom with and suggests that maybe it’s best to sleep with the lights on.
One of the sons in the house is also experiencing some creepy stuff at night, such as his toys starting to move by themselves and someone shouting BLAEEEEEERGHH from the tent in the hallway.
After Janet behaves more like she’s under the influence of some serious possession, the Hodgsons is being visited by a group of local paranormal investigators, lead by Maurice Grosse. The skeptic and psychologist Anita Gregory is also on the spot, who can’t wait to debunk the whole thing as a hoax. In real-life she described the Enfield case as “greatly exaggerated” and “pathetic”.
We soon learn that the entity who has claimed the meat suit of Janet is a fellow named Bill Wilkins, and that he’s an old, grumpy man straight from the grave who only wants his house back. And while our experts scratch their heads and bollocks and don’t know what to do, the case goes to Ed and Lorraine Warren. Lorraine is very reluctant to do another case due to what she saw in the cellar in the Amityville house, while Ed is ready for action like a kid on Christmas Eve. And it also happens to be around Christmastime. How convenient.
And here’s a quick history class: Guy Lyon Playfair, one of the original paranormal investigators on The Enfield Poltergeist Case who worked alongside with Maurise Grosse, came forward prior to the movie’s release and said that the Warrens had showed up “uninvited” and only stayed for a day. Ed, on the other hand, claimed that he visited the place three times by himself while Lorraine was home presumably feeding her roosters. So who’s lying?
One of the few facts we can take from the film is Bill Wilkins, who lived in the house before the Hodgsons and had died of a brain hemorrhage while he sat in the chair we see in the film. This has been confirmed by his son, Terry. Other than this, there’s no info to find about this poor old bloke Billy, and no gravestones were vandalized this time.
The family’s mother, Peggy, kept living in the house until she died in 2003. Rumors say that she died in the same chair as Bill. That’s grim. So its appropriate to ask if it was the chair all along that was the cursed villain here and why Ed didn’t claim the chair to bring it home to his occult museum so we could have the spin-off The Chair, from the producers of Killer Sofa.
Now, back to the movie:
Yeah, so what more is there to say other than “if you liked the first one you’d also like this?” This one has longer screen time which ticks over two hours, but thanks to James Wan being the master of suspense that he is, it flew away in a ghoulish heartbeat. While the story isn’t the strongest, this is still a rock-solid and highly entertaining sequel. A first-class ghost ride filled with atmosphere, great scares, and James Wan’s unique ability to manipulate us to get the sense of something evil lurking in every corner despite we don’t see it. All performances are solid all the way and they also really nailed the look of Maurice Grosse.
I also like how they re-created the house of the Hodgsons with the grim 1970s esthetics and the fugly posters on the girl’s bedroom walls. If the film itself was shot on film instead of digital, the film would look like it was straight from that decade alongside with The Exorcist and The Omen.
I’m not the biggest fan of the Nun character, even though she was a creepy enough presence in this film and overall has a great look. The shot of her standing in the narrow hallway in Warren’s home where their daughter Judy points at her in pure shock is a scary and eerie moment. Too bad that the two spinoffs of hers have completely desensitized her creep factor, at least for my part, so I’m not alone blaming the character. The scene where Lorraine gets attacked by her in Ed’s office room, in some very creative and suspenseful fashion that only James Wan could pull off, is the creepiest scene you’d ever get with The Nun.
Then we have The Crooked Man, where I every time have to remind myself that he isn’t CGI, but actually a guy in a costume. The actor’s name is Javier Botet and has worked a lot with Guillermo del Toro.
The Conjuring 2 was also a hUUUge success, but despite that, James Wan hasn’t directed much other than two DC films. He returned to horror with the awesome Malignant in 2021, which was very much panned and ridiculed because people expected a new Conjuring. As for now, he seems more comfortable as a producer. In 2021 we also got the third installment The Conjuring: The Alcohol Made Me Do It, most known for not being directed by Wan. The fourth one with the undertitle The Last Rites is under pre-production, which looks to be a crossover with The Nun. Can’t say that I’m too excited…
Also check out the miniseries The Enfield Haunting from 2015 if you want a considerably more faithful film adaptation of the case.
Director: James Wan Writers: Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes, James Wan Country & year: US, UK, 2016 Actors: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe, Frances O’Connor, Lauren Esposito, Benjamin Haigh, Patrick McAuley, Simon McBurney, Maria Doyle Kennedy, Simon Delaney, Franka Potente, Bob Adrian, Robin Atkin Downes, Bonnie Aarons, Javier Botet IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt3065204/
Having invited a date over for dinner, James struggles to hide from her the monster that has been haunting him for weeks.
It’s Not About Fear is a creepy horror short about two people with their own “monsters”, manifested because of something that happened to them in the past.
Director: Clément Jochem Writer: Clément Jochem Country & year: UK, 2023 Actors: Joe Hassan, Anna Rømcke Høiseth, Rebecca Parr IMDb:www.imdb.com/title/tt19815866/
Has it gone ten years since the release of this modern haunted house classic already? Oh my. Ed and Lorraine Warren are more commonly known now than ever, but here’s a quick summary of this oddly fascinating and charming couple.
Ed Warren was a self taught demonologist and his wife Lorraine was a clairvoyant who could “read” the human aura. Both were hardcore Christians. After they founded the New England Society for Psychic Research in 1952, the oldest ghost hunting group in New England, they claimed to investigate over 10,000 cases of paranormal and demonic activity over the course of four decades. Most of them were debunked while some required assistance from the Catholic Church to perform exorcisms.
Lorraine was the more quiet one (for lack of a better term), whereas Ed never seemed to have a filter and would claim bizarre things such as:
– I know sorcerers who have never worked a day in their life, yet they’re financially well-off. For them, everything falls into place. Life is easy; good things always come their way. They have no troubles at all. Money finds them. Why? Because they’ve made a metaphysical arrangement and work in league with the demonic. –
This is a real quote from the book The Demonologist: The Extraordinary Career of Ed and Lorraine Warren. So it’s fair to say that our dear uncle Ed surely had some screws loose on his top floor. But I don’t doubt that he was harmless like a soft teddybear as he and Lorraine were deeply devoted to each other. Aww.
They’ve gotten several books written about them, such as The Amityville Horror, In a Dark Place (The Haunting in Connecticut), Satan’s Harvest (Maurice “Frenchie” Theriault) and The Haunted (The Smurl family). The latter was already adapted in 1991 as an obscure movie made for TV. Great books, by the way, but they work more as horror fiction than they do as “documentaries”, so keep that in mind if you’d like to read them. I was hoping one of the installments in the Conjuring franchise would be about Maurice Theriault, based on Satan’s Harvest, which we also see some glimpses of during Ed and Lorraine’s classes in the first movie. The mix of grim and tragic drama with horror would be perfect here, but since they already have already completely butchered Maurice’s character arc in the two Nun films, it’s not likely to happen. Bummer.
Ed died back in 2006 at the age of 79, while Lorraine kept fighting the good fight until she met her maker in 2019 at the age of 92. Their son-in-law Tony Spera kept their legacy alive for a while with their famous Warren Occult Museum (which is now permanently closed) and was alongside with Lorraine a consultant on the two first Conjuring films. He now runs the Official Ed and Lorraine Warren Channel where he has given some lectures on ghost hunting to show people like Zak Bagans how you really do it. He was also one of the producers of the Netflix reality series 28 Days Haunted, a complete fake amateurish nothingburger of a show yet still the most unintentionally batshit-funny thing I’ve ever seen in the ghost hunting genre.
One of their more known cases of the Warrens was with the Perron family, who lived in an ancient farmhouse in Harrisville, Rhode Island from 1970 to 1980. The house was built in 1736 and surrounded by a big dark cloud of terrifying rumors that several suicides took place there throughout many years. The house was also haunted by an evil paranormal entity by the name Bathsheba Thayer Sherman who terrorized the family over the whole decade they lived there where Ed and Lorraine visited regularly to bless them. The mother of the family, Carilyn Perron, believed that Batsheba was jealous of her, which opened an iceberg of conspiracies, one of which that she once upon a time was an evil witch after allegedly a baby had died whom she was babysitting. The legend says that a sewing needle was found in the baby’s dead body. The only official documents we can dig up from this Bathsheba is that she lived a long life from 1812 to 1885 as a wife and mother.
The rest is based on urban legends, rumors, myths, dark morbid fairytales and totally fabricated boolshit. In other words: there’s no documents of her being an evil satanic witch that drank infant blood and threw babies in the fireplace before she cursed everyone who dared to take her land and hang herself on a tree branch outside her house three past midnight. But that’s at least what the movie and the oldest daughter Andrea Perron want us to believe, who was a part of the promotion of the film and also has written a series of self-published books based on the whole alleged experience. And there were sure some airheads who actually believed it all. Sherman’s gravestone in Harrisville Cemetery was vandalized several times after the release of The Conjuring, and was broken to pieces in 2016. It has been fixed since. If Bathsheba had lived during the more recent decades, it’s not unlikely that some relatives would sue Warner Brothers for pure defamation.
Other “victims” of the release of the film were none other than the owners who have lived in the real conjuring house since 1987, seven years after the Perrons moved out. The big fat irony is that the couple who took over the house after the Perrons have never experienced any paranormal activity, but were instead haunted by curious trespassers on a daily basis after the release of the film. It’s not far from the same story with the owners of the Amityville house who had to remove the two distinct and iconic “eye windows” so no one would recognize the house. The no trespassers signs on the property didn’t help much either. It got to the point where they sued Warner Brothers, a case that didn’t go anywhere. After they eventually moved out, a young couple bought the house in 2019, and they knew exactly what they moved into. They launched the property into a lucrative business to allow investigations and day tours. A documentary called The Harrisville Haunting: The Real Conjuring House was made, and the place is now a landmark tourist attraction. G r o o v y.
Anyway … the movie:
After the opening with a quick introduction of Ed and Lorraine Warren and their case with the Annabelle doll, the film starts off like a classic episode of the TV-series A Haunting where the Perron family (Roger and Carolyn with their five daughters) is moving into their new house in the quiet and idyllic countryside in Harrisville, Rhode Island. It’s the summer of 1971 and everyone is so happy and excited about their new home, except for their dog Sadie, who refuses to enter the house. First red flag. After some exploring, they see that the door to the cellar is boarded. Second red flag. The cellar is creepy. Third red flag. They’re ready to spend the first night in the house and the dog still refuses to be inside. Fourth red flag. Next day, Carolyn wakes up with bruises on her leg. Fifth red flag. The toilet in the house doesn’t work. Sixth red flag. One of the kids’ bedrooms smells like someone had died there. Seventh red flag. All the clocks in the house stop ticking around three past midnight. Eighth red flag. The house is freezing. Ninth red flag. They find the dog dead outside the house. Tenth red fla…they’re fucked!
It doesn’t get more peaceful from here on and after the paranormal activities reach the breaking point when an angry, demonic, scary-looking witch (yeah, guess who) pops up from nowhere like a deranged ninja-monkey to attack the kids, it’s time to call you-know-who.
On the surface, there isn’t anything new and groundbreaking about The Conjuring, not even back in 2013, other than it’s based on Ed and Lorrie Warren, which at least gives it a unique take. As a ghost story, it’s very formulaic and James Wan with his two screenwriters doesn’t re-invent the wheel, but – most of us knew already then that Wan was a master of building up tension and creating some great, claustrophobic suspense that eventually reach the climax in full rollercoaster mode. And that’s even more than I expect from a film like this. A big plus is that he worked with the same crew from the first Insidious movie to create a haunting atmosphere only with the set-design. The whole house here looks cursed, all from the old, dusty organ in the cellar to a certain cabinet wardrobe and the walls themselves. I would love to move in by a heartbeat.
Both Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga as Ed and Lorraine is a perfect match and they take their roles pretty seriously. Their chemistry really sparks where I have no doubt that they love each other like two college teens. Joey King stands out among the six child actors and I still, ten years later, believe her when she says that “someone is behind the door”, yet I’m also still asking “what is…”. Music composer Joesph Bishara, who also played the lipstick-face demon in Insidious, is terrifying behind the Bathsheba make-up, and her introduction in the film has become a really classic moment by itself. I have some very fond memories by watching this in a packed movie theater twice as people were screaming their lungs off. Bishara’s distinct soundtrack with the mix of strings, brass, woodwinds, percussion, electronic instruments and more also amps up the mood. Some clever jump-scare here as well. Clap-clap.
The Conjuring became a hUUUge financial success, both praised by the critics and audiences and sat the gold-standard for modern haunted house films. A formula that countless of directors have tried to copy but mostly failed time after time. The Neverending Amityville Franchise Inc. is always hiring directors though. Instead of rehashing sequels we got The Conjuring Universe with spin-offs like the pretty decent trilogy with the Annabelle doll and the pretty lousy Nun films which I hope we’ve seen the last of. Three years later James Wan followed-up with the sequel The Conjuring 2.
Director: James Wan Writers: Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes Country & year: US, 2013 Actors: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Shanley Caswell, Hayley McFarland, Joey King, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver, Shannon Kook, John Brotherton, Sterling Jerins, Joseph Bishara IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt1457767/
If there’s one creepy Nun film from this year that’s worth watching, it’s Sister Death. This is a standalone prequel about the blind chain-smoking old nun we saw lurking in a few scenes in Verónica (2017) – written and directed by Paco Plaza, the other half of the very talented Spanish duo behind the [REC] films.
Sister Death is only available on Netflix, which explains some of the muddy and low-quality in some of the screenshots. The darkest scenes in the film look so horrendous that I’m almost lost for words, and this has been an ongoing issue with Netflix. We have the standard account with 1080p, and it looks like something from a 480 pixel YouTube video from 2007. The quality also seems to depend on which browser you use. What a load of poop. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to streaming. There are several issues with Netflix and other streaming services for that matter, most notably how they have the habit of canceling every new show after one or two seasons. Business as usual, I guess. And it seems to only get worse. It’s also a sad, fucking shame that Guillermo del Toro, of all people, has slipped into the streaming sewer and signed with Netflix, so he can finally make his Frankenstein movie. At least that film will have a physical release, which seems to be unlikely for Sister Death, which would look stunning on a Blu-ray package. Happy new year.
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