When an amphibian-obsessed boy comes into possession of a book with ancient occult secrets, his concerned principal intervenes.
Another Horror Short Sunday, and this time we take a look at Toad Boy, a gory and a little bizarre horror short with some awesome body horror effects!
Director: Phillip J. McLaughlin
Writer: Phillip J. McLaughlin, Hillary Rust
Country & year: USA, 2023
Actors: Cliff Chamberlain, James Hoelzel, Tamir Tucker, Soren Williams
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt27214410/
Vidar the Vampire is the first, and for the time being, the last vampire flick from Norway. A low-budget independent production that came and went in 2017. Yes, we cavemen gnomes have come a long way, haven’t we. And later this year, we’ll have our first sea monster flick with Kraken. Skål!
The film starts with a local news report by the broadcast company NDK (Norsk DrittKringkasting) that tells us that a Satanic ritual has occurred in the middle of the God sacred bible belt in Norway, at a place called Jæren, a middle-of-nowhere land not so far from Stavanger (which also happens to be the hometown of Horror Ghouls) . Then we cut to our man, Vidar (Thomas Aske Berg), a skinny guy in his early 30s with a thick Burt Reynolds mustache and dressed in a silver protective suit as he starts a session with his psychiatrist. And he also wears sunglasses. Not because he’s got a severe hangover, but because he’s Vidar the Vampire. He’s frustrated and ready to tell his life’s story, a deep glory rabbit hole that will even get the shrink raising his eyebrows.
Like any therapy session, we start from the beginning where we see Vidar as a young boy as he lives with his strict religious mom at the farm we saw earlier in the news report. He does most of the work at the farm while he gets bullied by some classmates because he’s a loner and not able to get a girlfriend. We jump twenty years forward where Vidar is still stuck on the farm with no girlfriend, friends or future aspirations where the days consist of cleaning pigsties while his mom lies in bed and chewing pills. The only form of dopamine is hidden in Playboy magazines in his small, cramped bedroom. Vidar prays every night to get away from here, and one holy night, he gets heard. Hallelujah! And now it’s where it starts to get a little weird. We have a weird moment with a succubus before, one night, he finally meets the Savior himself in the barn. And here comes the big shocker: it appears that God is actually Satan. That’s how blasphemous we can get in modern times, I guess. After Vidar gives him a blowjob and swallows the unholy juice, he becomes a vampire, of some sort.
And there’s no surprise that things doesn’t get better for Vidar from here on. His God-fearing mom makes Vidar meet an evangelist in the local church in hope to exorcise him. Doesn’t go that well either. Even more crazy shit happens, and nothing can prepare Vidar for when he finally gets to break free from the isolated farm life to dive into the nightlife of urban Stavanger.
So, yeah, It’s crystal clear what the film is really about: a satirical middle-finger to Christianity, a statement that feels more fifty years-or so too late, and was already ridiculously outdated in 2017. If Vidar the Vampire was made in the 1970s, or even in the 1980s, the film would surely stir some controversy before it would be banned completely, and be regarded as an exploitation cult-classic years later. The filmmakers would also probably be put in jail for violation of the blasphemy law. I’m not kidding. A harmless, silly comedy such as Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979) was banned in Norway for over a decade, and that should speak for itself. Things have changed radically since then with the rise of black metal bands in the early 90s, church burnings and Playboy, which was upgraded with porn on VHS, first imported from Sweden, of course. Good times. Hail Satan.
But the film is more than just poking fun of religion and clowns like Bob Larson. Chronic loneliness is the red thread here as we follow Vidar from one dire scenario to the next where things go from bad to worse, and he loses himself into an empty and hopeless existence of pure black-pilled nihilism. He walks around the streets of Stavanger at night in a farm suit while he tries to score, where he’s already completely damaged and a lost case. He becomes more desperate as his bloodlust also rises and he needs as much pussy as he needs the red human syrup. How about both? He stalks a young woman after closing time to her apartment where he chews her pussy and slurps her dry of period blood after she’s blacked-out. He almost swallows a tampon. Yum. This woman’s name is listed as “Drunk Cunt“ in the end credits (yes, in English for whatever reason). He then gets chased by her pimp as Vidar runs through the back alleys buck naked. We shouldn’t sympathize with a rapist, but still. It’s tragic, cringe, absurd, artsy at some times, and morbidly amusing to say the least, also much thanks to some solid acting and likewise dialogue. To lighten the mood, the film is filled with the most depressive and monotone folk songs that just make you want to kill yourself. Rest in peace in advance.
Vidar the Vampire is overall a weird and unique film, plain and simple, that will appeal to smaller audience as the vampire elements is used more as metaphors where the big question lies: is he really a vampire or just a raving mad incel who’s met the breaking point? And then of course we have the Norwegian language with some inside-jokes. If you can handle subtitles, the film is released on Blu-ray in America by Dread Central/DiabolikDVD. So have yourself a Drunk Cunt and enjoy the misery.
Writers and directors: Thomas Aske Berg, Fredrik Waldeland
Country & year: Norway, 2017
Original title: VampyrVidar
Actors: Kathrine Jünger Ims, Thomas Aske Berg, Marit Sanden, Sigve Aasland, Ingvar Skretting, Kim Sønderholm, Ruben Jonassen, Martha Kristine Kåstad, Astrid Braut Øksnevad, Balder Scheen Jacobsen
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6147514/
The Kyiv Seminary (a college that trains students to be priests, rabbis, or ministers) are sending their students home for vacation. Three of them decide to get piss drunk and ends up lost in the countryside in the middle of the night. When they see an old farmhouse, they ask the old woman who lives there if they can spend the night. She agrees, but her condition is that they sleep in separate areas of the farm. One of the students, Khoma Brutus, is placed in the barn. Later, the old hag tries to seduce him, which ends up with him getting hypnotized and the hag rides on his back like he was a horse. Weirdly enough, it isn’t until she also makes them both levitate that he realizes that she must be a witch. Huh! Who would’ve guessed! He ends up attacking her by violently hitting her with a stick, and then she suddenly turns into a beautiful young woman. Terrified, he runs away and back to the seminary, where he later gets the news that a wealthy man’s dying daughter has requested for Khoma himself to come and say prayers for her soul. I guess there’s no big surprise who this girl turns out to be. Anyway, she ends up dying before he arrives, but he will stand vigil and pray for her soul for the next three nights. In the chapel where the dead girl’s corpse lies, he starts praying and every night the girl wakes up, trying to get him while he’s protecting himself by standing inside a sacred circle he draws by using chalk. Can Khoma get through all three nights without the witch getting him in the end? Well, if she doesn’t, maybe all the vodka will…
Viy (Spirit of Evil) is a Soviet Gothic horror fantasy film from 1967, directed by Konstantin Yershow and Georgi Kropachyov, and it was the first Soviet-era horror film to be officially released in the USSR. It is based on a story by the same name, written by Nikolai Gogol, which also inspired Mario Bava’s Black Sunday.
The synopsis for this movie may sound rather straight-forward, but damn…it really is so weird at times, and starts off rather slow and fails a bit with keeping you fully engaged. In between the strange supernatural elements, the protagonist and the other people around him are mostly walking around getting totally sozzled on vodka or whatever the hell they’re drinking, while singing songs and goofing around. Khoma is pretty much constantly hammered during the day, and then fighting off the undead witch and whatever she summons at night, that’s pretty much the flow of what is happening here.
The movie saves up the best for last, where Khoma’s final night is where all the good stuff starts happening. This is where the witch finally summons the film’s namesake, the Viy, which is a large humanoid creature. This was actually played by a guy who was a circus artist, because the costume was so heavy they cast him for his strength. In addition, all kinds of other hell-spawn is summoned and we get some really surreal, fun and inventive scenes here.
Overall, Viy is a fantasy horror movie that feels more like a folklore-fairytale than outright horror, but amusing enough in its own way and with a pretty bonkers finale.
Viy was released on DVD in 2001 by Image Entertainment, and then re-released in 2005 by Hanzibar Films. Severin Films released it on Blu-ray in 2019, and it’s also available on several streaming sites, including Tubi.
Directors: Konstantin Ershov, Georgiy Kropachyov
Writers: Konstantin Ershov, Nikolay Gogol, Georgiy Kropachyov, Aleksandr Ptushko
Country & year: Russia, 1967
Actors: Leonid Kuravlyov, Natalya Varley, Aleksey Glazyrin, Nikolay Kutuzov, Vadim Zakharchenko
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062453/
On a distressed trip to the ocean, eight-year-old misfit Miranda finds a shipwrecked man on an otherwise deserted beach. Inspired by the short story by Septimus Dale.
Horror Short Sunday again, and this time we take a look at The Little Girl Eater, a creepy horror short with a nice dark twist.
Director: Tizian Herzberger
Writer: Tizian Herzberger, Septimus Dale
Country & year: Germany, 2023
Actors: Siegbert Pacher, Jacob King, Maja Bloom, Penelope Kettle
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt28694733/
Who’d think that Dracula was actually a full-blown narcissist? Wuut? Mr. Renfield, Dracula’s primary source of supply, which also includes being a scapegoat, slave, bitch, punching bag etc., can tell some stories. We’re in present day where Dracula (Nicolas Cage) has moved to a condemned hospital in New Orleans where he plans to turn the whole humanity into his slaves. USA is the big, great land of opportunity where dreams come true, after all (s a r c a s m).
Renfield (Nicolas Hoult, who also plays the Jonathan Harker version in the recent Nosferatu) is still his servant who’s been cursed with immortality, so Dracula can use him as long as needed. His self-esteem is down the toilet and his guilt for bringing his boss victims to satisfy his constant need for human blood, is eating him alive. So what he does next is to attend a therapy group for Co-Dependency / toxic relationships to hunt down the victims’ abusers to then hand them over to Dracula. What a wholesome idea. I guess he just watched Dexter.
The more he attends the group session, the more he realizes that something has to change, and Dracula (or just let’s call him Narcula) is not good for his mental health. No, you don’t fucking say. He starts reading self-help books like “How to Defend Yourself Against a Narcissist“, while I bet he’s already deep in the YouTube-rabbit hole of the subject. Narcula won’t have any of this, of course, and does all the familiar mindfuck games to distract him, such as the classic phrases like: I am the REAL victim here, YOU are the monster, and my dog stepped on a BEE..! Anyway … Plot thickens when Narcula joins forces with mafia queen Bellafrancesca Lobo (Shohreh Aghdashloo) while Renfield only has the frustrated police officer Rebecca (Awkwafina) by his side and gets the ability of super powers when chewing on bugs.
It’s a big understatement to say that Nic Cage has a fun time here, as he’d dreamed about playing Dracula on the silver screen since he was a kid. Rumors also say that he at some point visited Dracula’s ruins in Romania and spent a night there to get a sense of the atmosphere and its surroundings. All that being said, I must admit that I didn’t see much of The Prince of Darkness here, but rather the opposite of Dracula playing Nic Cage, something that only Cageula could get away with. A lot of fun regardless, as Cage is a top-shelf showman who’s always putting out a unique performance with high, manic energy. And with the make-up and the sharp razor teeth, I also kept wondering when he’s finally going to play Marilyn Manson in an X-rated biopic.
Renfield is co-written by The Walking Dead creator Robert Kirkman, which also explains the gore, which goes from solid old school to pure, mushy CGI slop. Most of the latter, unfortunately. I’ve seen way worse, as said in the trailer. A subtle hint that the film is fully aware of what it is and goes full in on the silliness and wild over-the-top action scenes that made me think of some of the manga-splatter films from Japan.
Renfield is far more a parody of the Universal Dracula films than a respectful sequel. And parodies are very hit’n miss, comedies in general for that matter, especially in these days when modern, mainstream humor is nothing but a cringe and painful endurance test to sit through, even in a small trailer. Yes, I’m pointing at you, Marvel. Renfield has the right balance, which the amputated runtime of 90 minutes is maybe to thank for, as there’s more action and pacing than pause segments with insufferable jokes. More of this, please!
But what makes the film stand out and not just being a silly, lowbrow splatter cartoon show, is the metaphors of the non-stop widespread epidemic that is pathological narcissism. We’ve seen a more grounded take on the subject in films like Sleep Tight (2011), Gone Girl (2014) and The Invisible Man (2020), although I think it overall nailed it in a fun and morbid, colorful fashion between the Dark Overlord Narcula and the super empath Renfield. I have myself been there, and as painful as it is, the time will eventually come when you can lean back, enjoy a megapint and just laugh at these miserable clowns as a reminder that you’re not doing so badly in life.
Director: Chris McKay
Writers: Ryan Ridley, Robert Kirkman, Ava Tramer
Country & year: USA/UK/Canada, 2023
Actors: Nicholas Hoult, Nicolas Cage, Awkwafina, Ben Schwartz, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Brandon Scott Jones, Adrian Martinez, Camille Chen, Bess Rous, Jenna Kanell, Danya LaBelle, Rhonda Johnson Dents
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11358390/
A young girl named Ellen is filled with a soul-crushing loneliness, causing her to pray in despair and desperately seeking comfort from anyone…or anything. Unfortunately for her, her prayers are answered. Then, some years later in 1838, she’s happily married to a man named Thomas Hutter, and they live in the town of Wisborg, Germany. Her husband works as a solicitor and estate agent, but he’s struggling a bit financially and hopes to achieve some financial security for them both. His employer, Herr Knock, tells Hutter that there is a reclusive and eccentric count in Transylvania, Count Orlok, who wants to buy Schloss Grünewald, and asks Hutter to travel to the count’s place and seal the deal. Upon hearing this, Ellen is terrified and begs him to stay, but he dismisses her and heads off to the Carpathian Mountains while his wife stays with his wealthy friend, Friedrich Harding and his wife Anna. When he arrives in Transylvania, the locals try to warn him off, but of course he doesn’t pay heed to their superstitions. The evening he arrives at the castle, he meets the intimidating Orlok, dines with him and pretty much wants to finalize the purchase of Schloss Grünewald as soon as possible and get out of there. Instead, Hutter finds himself a victim to Orlok’s bloodlust. Finally managing his escape by falling out of a window and into the river below, he is later found by a nun who brings him to a nearby church where they start nursing him back to health. Meanwhile, Orlok’s coffin is on board a ship sailing towards Wisborg (and Ellen) bringing with him plague-infested rats and death.
Nosferatu is another remake/reimagined version of the 1922 silent movie by F. W. Murnau, a film that was a little too closely inspired by Bram Stoker’s Dracula novel from 1897 and almost ended up as lost media when Stoker’s widow took legal action and a judge ordered all copies to be destroyed. Thankfully, some survived, and there has since been several remakes and spinoffs made: Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) by Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski as Nosferatu, Nosferatu in Venice (1988) also starring Klaus Kinski as Nosferatu and originally intended to be a sequel to Herzog’s 1979 film and co-directed by Kinski together with Augusto Caminito, Shadow of the Vampire (2000) which is a movie based on the making of the 1922 film where Willem Dafoe plays Nosferatu/Max Schreck, and a 2023 crowd-funded remake with Doug Jones as Nosferatu. Not to mention all references in other media, even including Spongebob.
Robert Eggers had his directorial debut with The Witch (2015), and have since continued to impress with his blend of horror, mythology and folklore, which can also be seen in The Lighthouse (2019). A reimagining of Nosferatu done by this guy sounds like every folklore-horror lover’s dream. And while honoring the source material, he also adds his own flavour to it of course.
The development for Eggers version began in 2015, where he was very much thinking of it as a passion project. Many actors have been cast and re-cast since then, where Skarsgård was originally cast as Thomas Hutter, but then re-cast as Count Orlok (quite the change). To prepare for his role, he lost a significant amount of weight and worked with Icelandic opera singer Ásgerður Júníusdóttir so he could lower his vocal range. The prosthetic makeup took up to six hours a day to apply, and needless to say…he’s completely unrecognizable in this film. While you could clearly see some of his traits beneath his Pennywise makeup in IT (2017), he’s totally unrecognizable here. No wonder he considered his Orlok-transformation experience as “conjuring pure evil“. His looks as Orlok was also kept a secret prior to the film’s release, making a lot of people wonder what the result would be. And while some people found his moustache off-putting for some reason (sure, his looks differ a lot from the goblin/rat-like Orlok from the original) it’s easy to see what Eggers went for here, making him look more like an actual ancient Romanian count. Eggers have deliberately gone back to several of the actual folklore aspects regarding vampires and vampirism, where they were quite literally walking undead corpses.
The filming took place primarily in Prague at Barrandov Studios, and they were also shooting on location at the 14th-century Rožmitál pod Třemšínem Castle in Rožmitál pod Třemšínem, and Pernštejn Castle (also used as the location for Herzog’s Nosferatu the Vampyre), Prague’s Invalidovna complex, and some exterior shots were captured in Corvin Castle in Romania, which is actually the castle where Vlad Dracula was briefly imprisoned. Great use of locations, without a doubt. The film was also shot on 35mm in color by cinematographer Jarin Blaschke,using special filters to adapt the desaturated look reminiscent of 19th century Romanticism. Another fun tidbit is that 5000 live rats were used in this film, and none of them were harmed or lost. There’s one scene featuring Willem Dafoe where he had to work with 2000 rats around him, which he didn’t mind as he’s an animal lover but admitted they could be a little unpredictable but were “great acting partners“. No musophobia to be spotted here, at least!
There’s certainly been put great attention to details in Nosferatu, with costumes, locations, sets and cinematography. Despite the film being dark and moody, it’s also manifestly gorgeous where it’s gracefully blending its grotesqueries with beauty. Regarding performances, I have to give praise to Lily-Rose Depp in her role as Ellen, she does a formidable job with her role as the haunted and possessed woman. Willem Dafoe is fun to watch as the Van Helsing-esque occult expert, and it’s especially fun to see him in this movie since he played Max Schreck/Count Orlok in the 2000 movie Shadow of the Vampire. The actors are all doing great, but there’s no doubt that the most impressive performance comes from Skarsgård himself where the transformation is utterly radical and he really does go all in. I have to admit, though, that I gave some involuntary chuckles when he first started speaking with the deep, slow, raspy voice where he sounds like he’s in desperate need of an inhaler. It took some getting used to, but once I did, I thought it suited the character pretty well, especially with how he otherwise looks like a literal decaying corpse. I also couldn’t really shake it from my mind how my brother, upon seeing a picture reveal of Skarsgård’s Orlok version, said he looked like “a grotesque Dr. Eggman“. Yeah…couldn’t really unsee it afterwards…thanks, bro.
There’s no doubt that the Eggers version of Nosferatu is a visual, stylish experience layered with ominous atmosphere and overt sexual undertones. It many ways it differs from both the original and its other remakes, with elements that will be enjoyable for some and off-putting for others, but we loved it through and through!
Writer and director: Robert Eggers
Country & year: USA/UK/Hungary, 2024
Actors: Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Willem Dafoe, Emma Corrin, Ralph Ineson, Simon McBurney, Adéla Hesová, Milena Konstantinova, Stacy Thunes
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5040012/
At the beginning of the 70’s in Spain a young woman visits a remote village looking for an elderly woman who was recommended to aid with an illegal matter. Once there, she realizes there’s a dark secret being hidden within the village and an alternative motive from the elderly woman.
The first Horror Short Sunday of 2025! A new year, and new horror shorts to check out! We start with La Proeza (The Feat), a creepy Spanish horror short from 2018.
Director: Isaac Berrocal
Writer: Isaac Berrocal
Country & year: Spain, 2018
Actors: Chiti Abraira, Rocio Aller, Ágrata Andrés
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt8523618/
A woman and a man who is piss-drunk are stumbling back home after a night out in L.A. They decide to take a shortcut through a dark alley (of course they are), where a large hobo violently attacks the man by biting him on the neck. The woman also gets attacked by similar monster-looking hobos, but she manages to escape, only to get hit by a speeding police car.
Then, we head over to a “flashback“ scene where our protagonist Chuck Steel must try to save his kidnapped wife from the local Yakuza. After a totally over-the-top action-packed fight and chase scene, the tragic outcome is that Steel’s wife falls from a helicopter to her death. And that’s the story of how our hero lost his wife, which explains his moody “fuck off assholes and leave me alone“ attitude. Or…at least that’s the story he tells everyone. He also tells every new partner he gets that he is in no way interested in a partner, hates working with a partner, and is a guy that wants to work alone, something that a rookie cop named Barney is about to find out. Poor Barney is also about to find out that Steel has no problems with causing huge collateral damage whilst haunting some gangsters, all the while ranting his ass off to the poor rookie. Needless to say, Steel is soon without a partner again. His captain, determined to team him up with somebody at last, gives him a final choice: a Swedish woman, a monkey, or a cheese plant. He chooses the woman (much to his regret as she’s not exactly what he hoped for). They go to interview the woman from the opening scene who is now in hospital, but when arriving there he meets an old British man standing over her, ready to ram a stake into her heart. This man is supernatural hunter Professor Van Rental, warning Steel that this woman is about to become a Trampire. Yes, you read that right: a Trampire, because back when vampires ruled over Transylvania they were driven out by the locals who finally had enough, which forced the vampires to live like tramps and took to binge drinking, causing their thirst for blood to become as strong as their thirst for alcohol. Thus, the Trampires now hunt the street for those with a high blood alcohol level, and staying sober has never been more important! Of course, it would be an impossible task to ask the general public to stop getting shitfaced, so the only option is to get rid of the Trampires. Does Steel believe in any of this insane hogwash? Well, of course not…but he’s soon to find out that the professor was speaking the truth, which turns this already bonkers movie into a totally crazy, blood-soaked balls-to-the-wall love-letter to the action films from the 80’s!
Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires is a stop-motion action horror comedy film from 2018, written and directed by Mike Mort who is also voicing the titular lead role, and this was his feature debut. Budget is said to have been $20 million, of which it doesn’t seem that even a fraction of it was earned back (such a shame). It premiered on the Annecy International Animation Film Festival in France, on 12 June 2018. And this one’s been a long time in the making, as Mike Mort wrote the early draft for it back in 2001. The character of Chuck Steel was something he came up with all the way back in 1986, however, which makes this an even more fitting 80s throwback film. In 2013, Chuck Steel appeared in the short Raging Balls of Steel Justice, and in 2014 Animortal Studio was setup, where the impressive amount of 425 puppets where made for the movie, plus dozens of giant scale-model sets. The movie was finished in early 2018. Then, distribution hell happened and it didn’t get a release until October 2021.
A stop-motion animated horror action comedy, not giving a turd about political correctness and whether the jokes are being “offensive“ by today’s standards , filled with gore, 80’s throwback action and other pleasantries…what’s not to love? The trailer for this movie got me interested immediately, and oh boy, were we in for a ride with this one! First of all, the stop motion in this movie is absolutely fantastic. It’s easy to see that there’s been put so much love and care into all the puppets, model sets and details. The references to the 80s actions flicks, including both the good and the bad, are spot on: there’s an abundance of explosions, car crashes and chases, all accompanied by the beats of typical 80’s music. It’s just as hilarious and energetic as the trailer indicates, but it’s also surprisingly cinematic and polished.
Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires is one of those movies where I just can’t help thinking: why the hell isn’t this movie more known, why isn’t it receiving more appreciation..? With throwback movies being all the rage these days, this should’ve been a goddamn cult classic by now! Yeah, yeah… the crude humour was probably off-putting for some, but seriously. It’s not often we see something as inspired, something so filled with ridiculous energetic glee as this movie! Sure, you probably need to not only be a fan of 80’s action movies or the 80’s in general to fully appreciate a movie like this, but also have a bit of fondness for some of the typical B-Movie schlock as well. Playing this one to the general audience who are used to watch the latest generic and safe blockbusters will probably put their brain in automatic nah-mode, especially with all the jokes putting the modern offense-level up to eleven which would make them squirm in their seats with discomfort. So, yeah…this is one of those movies where I know it’s not got a very wide audience (obviously), but I still can’t recommend it enough and I think that there’s a much larger audience out there who would have loved the shit out of this film if they just found out about it. It’s filled with awesome animation, fantastic creature designs, gore, has a totally crazy plot, and is a hilarious action-filled adventure featuring the most badass maverick cop ever. A pleasure to watch! Glad we got this one on Blu-ray, which also included a poster and booklet.
Writer and director: Mike Mort
Country & year: UK, 2018
Voices by: Mike Mort, Jennifer Saunders, Paul Whitehouse, Dan Russell, Jonnie Fiori, Samantha Coughlan, Romano Marenghi, Geoff Robbins, Jonnie Price, Mark Richard Jones, Laura Tofarides
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4278346/
The year 2024 was a strong year for us Horror Ghouls! And as you may have noticed, we review movies we enjoy enough that we can give badges to. Of course, it also happens that we see movies that we don’t enjoy that much…2024 was no exception to that rule, but here is a list of the movies we’ve seen from this year, including those we didn’t review.
Titles we didn’t get around to watch but that we’ll check out in 2025:
Azrael
Caddo Lake
Cuckoo
The Coffee Table
The Devil’s Bath
The Exorcism (because Russel Crow is fun)
In a Violent Nature
MadS (if we’re so lucky to get a physical release since we don’t have access to Shudder in Norway, as we’ve stated a dozen of times already. The same can be said about Satan’s Slaves 2: Communion)
Never Let Go
Nightswim (for the shits n’ giggles)
A Quiet Place: Day One (only for the cat)
Strange Darling
Witchboard
Here’s a texted summary of the list in chronological order as we saw them:
Longlegs
— Longlegs, being the great horror movie it is, is probably best viewed if you don’t let your expectations elevate too high prior to watching it. It’s not going to make you faint, have a miscarriage, puke snakes or have the devil hitch a ride back with you from the theater. It’s just a good, slow-burn atmospheric horror movie that really hits the sweet spot on oppressive, nightmarish and nihilistic mood. — Vanja
The Substance
— The Substance is a brilliantly gross, wild and thought-provoking movie. Behind layers of glitz and glam, nudity and body horror, there’s also themes of loneliness and fear, about being rejected for who you are by the people around you for doing something none of us can avoid as long as we continue to live: growing older. — Vanja
The First Omen
— The film wasn’t as scary I’d hoped for, though. But nevertheless, the film wins me over with its gothic atmosphere and overall grim sense of premonition constantly looming in the air (it’s after all an Omen film). It has a great build-up with a string of unpleasant moments and a tension that boils up to the inevitable, yet highly effective climax. — Tom
Alien: Romulus
— Alien: Romulus was a blast when viewing it in the theater, and while it was nowhere near as bloody and gory as Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead (2013), it was fun and felt as one of the Alien movies as of late that gave much of the same feeling of claustrophobia and unsettling atmosphere as the first — Vanja
MaXXXine
— Yeah, I’m really creaming all over MaXXXine, maybe because the film was much better than expected after the more lukewarm reception. We had an overall blast with this one in the movie theater and wasn’t bored for one second. The common complaints I’ve noticed is the third act/the reveal/the last ten minutes. The ending is predictable, for sure, and the reveal didn’t come as a shocker. — Tom
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
— I creamed maybe much more over Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, so much in fact that I almost became a homosexual. — Tom
Smile 2
— Despite my first expectations, Smile 2 is a worthy sequel of the first and in my opinion even surpasses it, and while the ending was very predictable (at least when you know how the Smile Entity works), it sets up for what could be a pretty interesting third movie in this franchise. — Vanja
Vermines
— Vermines (Infested) is a solid spider horror film, with some effectively creepy scenes that gives you the ick whether you actually have arachnophobia or not. Vaniček is also going to direct the next Evil Dead movie, and it will be interesting to check that one out when it comes. — Vanja
Nightwatch: Demons Are Forever
— Nightwatch – Demons are Forever is a decent sequel that comes incredibly late, but better late than never as they say. Or at least that’s true in some cases. Sure, there’s nothing groundbreaking here, and if we are going to be perfectly honest there wasn’t really any of that in the original either, it was just presented to an audience where the majority had never seen something like that before. The film offers up a nice thriller mystery and will probably work best for those who have seen the original, although it isn’t a must. — Vanja
Lowlifes
This one came from nowhere as a Tubi Original, and it actually slaps. A pretty twisted, unique and unpredictable take on the serial killer/home invasion genre. It’s almost impossible to review Lowlifes without avoiding major spoilers, and works best to go into it totally blind. — Tom
Sting
— Sting is a satisfying little addition to the creature feature list involving spiders, with some very nice special effects. — Vanja
Oddity
— Oddity doesn’t have that much to play around it, but it makes it all work nonetheless. It’s pure atmosphere and anticipation, and while the murder mystery isn’t really all that mysterious, the story still unfolds slowly enough while keeping you guessing a little bit. The ending is almost a bit sardonic, but also quite satisfying. — Vanja
Immaculate
— Sydney Sweeney is, for some, known for two things, but she’s also a top tier actress who conveys layers of intense emotions with her eyes alone – while she carries the whole film with a big bucket of blood to the s h o c k i n g ending. — Tom
Terrifier 3
— Terrifier 3 definitely delivers on the gore and practical effects, and Art the Clown is more jolly, more evil, and more Mr. Bean-ish than ever. I just personally wish there had been some more story development at this point, but I’ll consider this as Art the Clown’s X-Mas special. — Vanja
Heretic
— Heretic is a suspenseful and dark theological thriller, very dialogue-driven but mastering it with great skill. — Vanja
The Deliverance
— Overall, though, the movie is far from as bad as we initially thought it would be. In fact, the movie is on the whole pretty decent, it just doesn’t have the oomph to stand out very much. The Deliverance doesn’t bring anything new that we haven’t already seen a plethora of times before, but it’s done with a solid hand. — Vanja
Trap
— Trap is one of those dumbly fun movies which is offering just enough thrills and suspense. Nothing groundbreaking and by no means a masterpiece, but all in all just an easy-going and fun thriller. — Vanja
Salem’s Lot
— Salem’s Lot is pretty fine for what it is, there is some decent atmosphere here and there and Barlow can come off as creepy enough when you don’t get to see him too clearly. — Vanja
Sleep
— Sleepwalking is not a theme that’s got a lot of horror movies dedicated to it, so far we’ve only seen the Swedish 2000 thriller movie Sleepwalker which deals with the same subject matter. Thus, Sleep is another entry into this genre, a suspenseful thriller powered by strong performances, where a man’s sleepwalking habits turns him into a danger to his own family. — Vanja
I Saw the TV Glow
— I Saw the TV Glow is an arthouse movie that’s mostly an allegory for finding your identity. More surreal drama than horror, and definitely not everyone’s cup of Mad Hatter’s tea, but if you’ve lived for some time on this arduous earth, you’re most likely going to resonate with at least some of the themes it represent. — Vanja
The Soul Eater
— A pretty fine crime thriller by the Bustillo/Maury duo. Not as strong with the horror elements as some of their previous works, but overall an entertaining film. Review will be posted here sometime in January. — Vanja
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
After the greatest opening scene since the original from ’84, it only goes straight downhill. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is as empty and soulless as Bill Murray’s eyes in the movie poster. It’s time to accept that this franchise ended on a high note with Ghostbusters: The Video Game (2009) before it died with Harold Ramis. RIP.— Tom
Abigail
Nope. Alisha Weir does a strong performance here, but that’s it. Watch Livide instead. A much better film with vampire ballerinas. — Tom
The Watchers
Promising first half until it slides full force into M. Night Shyamalan twisty land on almost parody levels. Written and directed by Ishana Shyamalan, M. Night’s daughter. Huh… I actually thought it was just a pseudonym. — Tom
No Voltees
Two siblings move back to their childhood home where their mother died, and…the place is haunted…and…uhm… can’t remember much else. Pretty forgettable stuff. — Tom
Nosferatu: Symphony of Horror
Boy O’boy, this is not quite what I expected from Robert Eggers… oh, wait, wrong movie. This is a so-called “feature film remix“ where backgrounds from the original from 1922 have been green-screened in front of bad actors. This thing was actually crowdfunded, and I suppose the whole budget went to Doug Jones and his make-up, which is way too good for an amateur show like this. James Rolfe could maybe, just maybe, make a better version if he had enough time. — Tom
Gacy: Serial Killer Next Door
— The only slightly positive thing here is Mike Korich as Gacy. But that’s only on the surface level. His scenes where he’s dressed as Pogo and laughing in the victim’s face look more like a parody and there’s not much more character depth to explore. Still, Mike Korich is the only reason to give the film a watch, as he at least seems to have some fun here. I also see what they tried with Disturbia (2007) and The Summer of 84 spin, but it didn’t land well at all as the last portion of the film couldn’t be more predictable. Not the most memorable film, but lowbrow entertainment with enough of the funny-bad moments to kill some time with as long as it lasts. — Tom
Imaginary
The most infamous worst movie of the year, with a script that even an orangutan can tell was probably fully written by AI, Chat GPS, or whatever that garbage tool is called. Yeah, it stinks and it was worse than imagined. But since the film was a smashing success at the box office, not even a ten-layered diaper will stop the Blumhouse septic tank from shitting out more low-to-zero efforts like this. Still, I have a small nugget of hope that Leigh Whannel’s The Wolfman will take us by surprise. — Tom
Tarot
Some films get such a bad reception that curiosity gets the best of you, like Tarot. There’s nothing here, not a single scene or moment to even poke some fun at. It reminded me more of Slender Man (2018), for those who remember that film. Just dreadfully boring and lifeless that just sucks the oxygen out of you. And just like Imaginary, the film did bank at the box office. So I wouldn’t be surprised if a sequel gets made. — Tom
Lisa Frankenstein
This is probably a prime example of the result of a quick first-draft script where you can see a good film hidden somewhere in there if you really dig hard enough. Instead, we have a complete nothingburger, an unfunny amateurish mess of a film where nothing builds up. Random scenes tossed together filled with painfully cringe humor aimed at TikTok zombies is what to expect. The only unintentionally amusing thing I got from it was some uncanny Johnny Depp/Amber Heard parallels. And when you’ve first seen it, you can’t unsee it. — Tom
And that being said, it’s now time for a mega pint or three. Happy ghoulish new year from Tom, Vanja & Mr. Ghööl !
Hobo with a Shotgun was originally one of the delightful and awesome fake trailers made for the promotion of the double-feature release of Planet Terror and Death Proof back in 2007. And just like the same trailer for Machete, and much later Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving, it was made into a full-length feature. But unlike the two/three mentioned, this one was more independent, made far away from the mainstream Hollywood system, and didn’t get any wide theatrical release. A damn fucking shame because this is meant to be seen on a big screen with a solid sound system and not on a laptop. Anyway, in the fake trailer, we saw David Brunt having the days of his life as an unhinged hobo. He was also supposed to play the role in the film, but a severe panic attack with the stress of carrying a whole feature-length on his shoulders made him disappear for weeks. He was reduced to a quick cameo as a “no dirty cop“ while Rutger Hauer took over the title role. The film got funded with 3 million dollars and shot in the back alleys over 24 days in Dartmouth. And no, that’s not a region somewhere in Mordor, but a city in Canada.
We’re in the 1980s where it all starts with some fresh optimism as Hobo is on a cargo train to explore some uncharted territories. Unfortunately, he couldn’t have dropped off in a worse city where they could use a RoboCop, a dozen of Paul Kerseys and maybe a Batman. But we’re soon to learn that you should never underestimate a hobo with a shotgun who’s about to meet the final breaking point. The city is ironically called Hope Town (tagged over as Scum Town) with the slogan “where the railway ends and life begins!“ Too bad that the city is already in its final stage of full psychotic collapse where the trash floats as much as the cocaine, graffiti on every wall, stink of piss and shit everywhere I can imagine, insane rampant crime, corrupt police, punks smashing people’s heads like melons with bump-cars while hookers do their thing to survive — and just everything imaginable to make this the worst urban dystopian nightmare on Earth. Nothing much new that Hobo hasn’t seen his whole life already though. So what is it that’s making Hobo finally raising his eyebrows? Good question.
The answer: As Hobo is shuffling around with a loot-shopping cart in some neighborhood, minding his own business, he gets to witness a random handcuffed guy running with a manhole around his neck (of course). “He’s gonna kill me“, he screams. He gets confronted by a guy in the most spotless white suit with his two sons, Slick (Gregory Smith) and Ivan (Nick Bateman). We learn that the dude in the white dress is called Drake (Brian Downey). He’s a batshit crazy gangster Joker-style sociopath who’s taken over the city, and if you don’t obey him, well, get ready to be decapitated by a barbed-wire noose in broad daylight in full public. We’re still in Canada, by the way, and not in the Middle East. Yeah, well whatever, now Hobo’s seen that. This poor guy was the third son of Drake, by the way, who got gamed over with no continues because he wouldn’t be any part of this deranged family.
The next thing for Hobo is to beg for enough cash to buy a… yes, you guessed it — a lawnmower. Because the grass is always greener on the other side, I guess. And just sitting on the sidewalk with an “I’m hungry“ sign doesn’t do shit, so over to plan B: to get paid by eating glass for the camera. No pain, no gain, as we say. The road to scrambling up enough money has been brutal as he’s also been a victim of police brutality with getting carved “scum“ on his chest before they threw him in a dumpster. Welcome to Fuck Town. But the day is finally here; to buy that shiny lawnmower. The optimism is back in full blossom as Hobo stands in front of it in the pawn store like an eager kid on Christmas morning. And, oops… the store gets robbed by a gang of thugs, of course. A baby gets a gun pointed at its face. As Hobo is trapped in a corner, he picks up a shotgun and blasts away. Hobo has had enough, and a vigilante is born as he goes on a rage-filled rampage around the city, blowing the brains out of all lowlife scumbags he stumbles upon, from sleazy pimps to a pedophile Santa. Hobo for president!
Hobo becomes the one big news headline after another that soon gets the attention of Drake, the crazy guy in the white dress we saw earlier, and he wants Hobo’s head on a platter. In the midst of this, Hobo does all he can to make sure that the young street hooker Abby (Molly Dunsworth) is safe, a golden-hearted hooker, who gave him shelter.
While the film has a far more polished look than the fake trailer, Hobo with a Shotgun still has the heart, spirit and the rebellious energy like a true Grindhouse exploitation ride. Almost everyone is over-the-top in a cartoonish Troma fashion, which can be tiresome in the long run. The two guys who play Ivan and Slick really sticks out, as they do their best to top eachother as they both seemed to approach their roles by mimicking a manic Tom Cruise. Jason Eisener has been clever enough to not give them too much screentime. Rutger Hauer does a more low-key performance in all of the madness where he can make the most cheesy lines sound dead serious and believable. He plays the role with a heavy heart and vulnerability where his eyes show layers of emotions, from fear, despair to pure rage. Top tier acting. Then we have his somber words of wisdom-speech in front of the infants at the hospital which is just sad and bleak, but also true, and even more true in 2025. He and Molly Dunsworth also have some great chemistry going on and is a charming duo to root for. And no, don’t worry, there’s no awkward and cringe sex scene here. Thank God.
The cinematography by Karim Hussain really spices up the film with vibrant use of colors. Yes, we’re used to seeing this in numerous throwback films, but Mr. Hussain adds its own look and personality to it that also fits the tone perfectly. The soundtrack is a solid plus, where we have all from synth/darkwave to some appropriate use of Disco Inferno during a morbid scene that includes a school bus filled with kids. The hospital-invasion scene is especially a standout, where you’ll recognize the tunes if you’ve played Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, or vice versa. Jason Eisener was a consultant on that game, by the way. He also likes to “borrow“ classic theme music, as he also did in his short film Treevenge, and used the theme from Mark of the Devil (1970) in the opening credits of Hobo. Kids of the 80 and early 90s who grew up with The Raccoons will also have a pleasant surprise to have the nostalgia meter up to eleven.
Hobo with a Shotgun is pretty much a flawless film, and after fifteen years it’s still a unique gem in the modern Grindhouse genre. It’s fast-paced and entertaining as hell. The distinct tone keeps its track steady all through without falling off like a drunken walk-and-turn test, and blends the satire, the overall blood-filled insanity with the more gritty, serious and nihilistic undertones better than it should. That’s perhaps much because the whole cast and crew seemed to be right on the same page as director Jason Eisener and writer John Davies, who undoubtedly had a clear vision from the start. Or maybe the whole thing was just a lightning in a bottle. And Rutger Hauer was a phenomenal actor who couldn’t be a more perfect fit for the title role. RIP.
And I was, of course, curious to see what Jason Eisener would do next. Probably the sequel Hooker with a Shotgun? Oh, well. The years went by, and we finally got Kids vs Aliens, which I also did a trailer reaction of. And the film was a big letdown, to put it in a nice way, where there was no badge to give. Bummer. That said, I read somewhere, sometime long ago, maybe in a fever dream, that Jason Eisener was rumored to direct the remake of The Toxic Avenger. Well, there’s already one made where no distributors have the balls to touch it because it is “not safe enough to market“, so it’s not too late.
The time is also way long overdue for Rob Zombie to finally make his Werewolf Women of the SS with Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu!!!
Director: Jason Eisener
Writer: John Davies
Country & year: Canada, 2011
Actors: Rutger Hauer, Pasha Ebrahimi, Robb Wells, Brian Downey, Gregory Smith, Nick Bateman, Drew O’Hara, Molly Dunsworth, Jeremy Akerman, Andre Haines, Agnes M. Laan, Duane Patterson
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640459/
