Paperhouse (1988)

PaperhouseAnna Madden is an 11 year old girl, who one day starts having fainting spells at school and when playing with her friend. She’s suffering from glandular fever, and must stay at home and finds herself bedridden much to her dismay. She draws a house, and when she falls asleep she starts having disturbing dreams about this house. Later she draws a face in the window, and the next time she dreams there’s a boy there. His name is Marc, and he’s suffering from muscular dystrophy and cannot walk. She keeps adding things to the drawing in order to form the house more to her liking, like adding stairs and furniture. She also tries an attempt at fixing Marc’s legs, but this proves futile. Something’s not right in her dreams, however, and in real life Anna’s having troubles with her relationship with both her mother and her absent father who’s struggling with alcoholism and is often away for work at long periods of time. One day when her doctor comes for a visit, Anna finds out that the doctor has another patient whose name is Marc. And now she’s starting to realize that the house in her dreams may not just be a pure fantasy after all.

 

Paperhouse is a dark fantasy film from 1988, directed by Bernard Rose who later directed Candyman (1992). This movie is based on a novel from 1958, called Marianne Dreams by Catherine Storr. This novel was also the basis of a British TV series made for children in the early 1970’s, called Escape Into Night. This movie, however…is clearly not a movie suitable for the young’uns, despite being originally marketed as a children’s fantasy film. Sure, the horror elements aren’t very explicit and it takes a while for them to settle in, but there’s a definite ominous atmosphere throughout, and the scene where her blind father appears in her dream (blind because she didn’t draw his eyes properly) and starts hunting her with a hammer, isn’t exactly Saturday morning material.

 

I have to say that the work they did on the dreamworld is pretty well made, where everything looks like it’s trapped in a closed space where nothing else exists. It’s filmed in a desolate field, where you can see the ocean nearby but it’s all just vast and empty. No other islands to spot, no trees, other buildings, absolutely nothing. The surrealism and weirdness of the place is spot-on, and the strange interior of the already strange and crooked-looking house only adds to the vibe.

 

Paperhouse is a pretty strange coming of age movie, not outright a horror movie but it certainly has some elements thereof. The surreal tone, the somewhat unconvincing acting (especially by the lead actress, who also never played in any other film after this one) gives the whole film a very weird vibe. Also some nice music from Hans Zimmer which strengthens the incredibly dreamy and outlandish mood. Worth a watch if you want something strange and different.

 

Paperhouse Paperhouse Paperhouse

 

Director: Bernard Rose
Writer: Matthew Jacobs
Country & year: UK, 1988
Actors: Charlotte Burke, Jane Bertish, Samantha Cahill, Glenne Headly, Sarah Newbold, Gary Bleasdale, Elliott Spiers, Gemma Jones, Steven O’Donnell, Ben Cross, Karen Gledhill, Barbara Keogh
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098061/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Killer Klowns from Outer SpaceMike Tobacco and his girlfriend Debbie Stone have gone to the local lover’s lane to make out. Suddenly, they spot a strange glowing object falling down from the sky. They’re not the only ones who saw that, as the farmer Gene Green decides to find the impact site as he believes it to be Halley’s Comet. Well, he finds something quite different. A large circus tent has been raised in the place where the comet landed, and the poor farmer and his dog are captured by aliens looking like clowns. What they are? Killer Klowns, of course! Mike and Debbie arrive at the place and decide to enter the strange-looking circus, and find themselves in a bizarre place with an interior that resembles a spaceship. They’re discovered, and after being able to flee they try reporting the incident to the local police station. A large circus in the forest, and alien clowns from outer space? Yeah, that’s believable of course. Or not. But even the police must realize that something funny is happening around here, when the Klowns begin attacking the townspeople. Why they’re attacking people? Because they’re hungry! And the people they capture are encased in large cotton-candy cocoons, where they drink the mushed-up fluids from inside in true spider-style (well, not exactly, they use drinking straws). Mike and Debbie know they must defeat the Klowns, but how? The answer is simple, of course: you need to shoot them in their red nose!

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a colorful sci-fi horror comedy from 1988, written and directed by the Chiodo Brothers. They also made the practical effects and makeup for the movie, much of it also carried out by other artists. Thus, there’s a ton of practical effects, rubber suits and masks. It was filmed in Watsonville, California and at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, and have pretty much been considered a cult classic for quite some time. There’s been talk of sequels, but they’ve been in development hell since the original film’s release. If there should ever be some kind of sequel, though, then at least it would be one people have wanted for some time, just like the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice movie.

 

Just looking at the title, the description, and the images of the Killer Klowns themselves, you can’t blame anyone but yourself if you watch this and expect something different than what it is. It’s pure childish, silly nonsense. Originally, the film was supposed to just be called Killer Klowns, but in order to prevent people from assuming it was a simple slasher film, they added the from Outer Space just to let people know what they were in for. Good choice. It’s obviously both a parody and a homage to the 50’s and early 60’s sci-fi classics about alien and monster invasions.

 

The special effects are the movie’s most admirable part, where the Killer Klown costumes look pretty darn good. The acting is, well, very typical B-movie fare, which suits a film like this perfectly. And as you might expect, this being alien clowns and all, there’s gags aplenty and a lot of wild stupidity with popcorn-guns, shadow puppets eating people, and a lot of other loony stuff. While it’s hard to imagine anyone finding any moments in this movie to be scary in any way, the cotton-candy cocoons with melted human bodies inside is a little bit nasty. And yeah, there is a bit of gore here but there’s nothing really over the top. The film also has a pretty cool and campy theme song called Killer Klowns, performed by the pop/punk band The Dickies. Ah, theme songs! Those were the days.

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is just as deranged, absurd, childish and sickly sweet as you can imagine. You can almost feel a sugar-overdose after watching it, despite not having eaten any candy or ice cream at all. And in space no one can eat ice cream, or so the film’s slogan says. It’s had several DVD and Blu-ray releases over the years, and can be seen on several streaming sites.

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space Killer Klowns from Outer Space Killer Klowns from Outer Space

 

Director: Stephen Chiodo
Writer: Charles Chiodo, Stephen Chiodo, Edward Chiodo
Country & year: USA, 1988
Actors: Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, John Allen Nelson, John Vernon, Michael S. Siegel, Peter Licassi, Royal Dano, Christopher Titus, Irene Michaels, Irene Michaels, Karla Sue Krull
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095444/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

FleshEater (1988)

FleshEaterIt’s a crisp and sunny day in late October in the deep redneck lands of Pennsylvania where a group of college kids are getting ready to celebrate Halloween somewhere in the woods. Meanwhile, some redneck farmer is trying to get rid of a treestump with his tractor. That was more easer said than done. Under the treestump he finds a wooden casket with a pentagram mark and some cryptic letters that says something like do not open. Of course, he opens it and in the casket lies the one and only – The Flesheater.

 

He’s played by S. William Hinzman, or more simply Bill Hinzman (1936-2012) and while his name maybe doesn’t ring any hells bells, you surely know his face. Because, you see, he was the very first zombie we saw in George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead (1968). He’s the one who pops up right after the classic line They’re coming to get you, Barbara…. So we’re talking about a true legend here, where it was just a matter of time when he got his own spinoff, even though it isn’t officially connected with Living Dead.

 

The Flesheater attacks the tractor redneck guy right away, which turns him into a zombie. What a shocker. Back to our college teens (who appears to be actors in their early 30s) are getting ready to find their own fuck spot. A couple finds a barn where they eventually get attacked by Mr. Flesheater, and it snowballs from here on with more random rednecks getting their flesh chewed off and turning into flesheaters. And since it’s Halloween, the dispatcher at the local sheriff’s department scoffs off the concerned phone calls as a series of pranks. So, Happy Halloween and enjoy the feast!

 

The FleshEater is also written, produced, directed and edited by Bill Hinzman himself. A little grassroot passion project made in the rural countryside area of Pennsylvania, where Romero’s Dead trilogy also was made. The actors consist of all from local amateurs to family members who gladly let themselves get killed brutally on screen. The little girl who’s dressed as an angel, who also gets killed, not once but twice (!), is the ten-year old daughter of Bill Hinzman, while the actress who plays her mother is actually her mother and Bill’s wife. What a cute family production and what some cool, wholesome parents this girl must have had.

 

Hinzman does a fun and entertaining screen presence, although he comes across more like a drunk, unhinged uncle who just wants to score some pussy. The amount of gore is impressively high with some great effects and the film clearly checks all the points to piss the ratings board straight in their faces and shove in as much graphic content as possible. We also have some bushy full-frontal nudity here, cringe foreplay sex scenes, and kids getting killed, as mentioned, where a speed dial to the whambulance may be necessary. Har-har, that was, of course, sarcasm.

 

This being said, I would lie if I said that the film is on the same level of production value as Romero’s films. It’s a far cry with only a quick paper thin backstory of The Flesheater character, and no character developments other than they’re body-counts in line to be killed off. We jump from one scenario to the next where random people get killed. I call this the Andreas Schnaas of filmmaking. The only thing missing here is someone taking a piss right before getting killed. The acting is lousy, the dialogues even worse. But I can’t say I was bored. It has its shoe-string low budget charm with a certain naive energy to it with a thick layer of redneck atmosphere, and it got several laughs from me. Also, watch Redneck Zombies while you’re in the right mood.

 

The film has several alternative titles such as Zombie Nosh and Revenge of the Living Dead. The original title is FleshEater, while the full title is actually FleshEater – Revenge of the Living Dead. It’s known as Zombie Flesh Eater – Revenge of the Living Dead in Germany, not directed by Lucio Fulci. And enough confusion for now. The film was released in 2022 by Vinegar Syndrome in both 4K UHD and Blu-ray, and guess what: it’s also on Tubi.

 

FleshEater FleshEater FleshEater

 

 

Director: S. William Hinzman
Writers: S. William Hinzman, Bill Randolph
Country & year: USA, 1988
Actors: S. William Hinzman, John Mowod, Leslie Ann Wick, Kevin Kindlin, Charis Kirkpatrik Acuff, James J. Rutan, Lisa Smith, Denise Morrone, Heidi Hinzman, Bonnie Hinzman
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109809/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

Grandmother’s House (1988)

Grandmother's HouseTwo siblings, David and Lynn, are orphaned after their father dies unexpectedly. They are sent to live with their grandparents who resides in a victorian home somewhere in rural California. When David and Lynn were very young, they lived in that house together with their mother, but of this they have few memories and everything from that time is a blur. When they travel to their new home, a creepy woman is standing in the middle of the road and almost causes the bus driver to have an accident. Weird…but nothing much to reflect on, right? Creepy people are everywhere. And talking about creepy people, when the siblings meet with their grandparents, they feel that something is very, very off about them. Sure, they’re sweet and nice and all that, just like grandparents ought to be, but…something’s not right. And during their first night in the house, David has a nightmare where he witnesses his grandfather killing a woman.

 

Grandmother’s House (aka Grandma’s House) is a slasher film from 1988 directed by Peter Rader (writer of Waterworld) as his directorial debut. And it sure is a little bit of an oddball movie, with twists and turns that makes it an unpredictable watch, at least if you haven’t read any spoilers beforehand. I’ll do my best to avoid them here in the review.

 

The movie starts off with a well-trodden trope: children lose their parent, and must come and live somewhere else where things are strange and unfamiliar. A setup like this has often been used in everything from children’s movies to horror, so nothing new here. And while the grandparents seem loving and sweet, you notice that something is off, of course. It plays along with a mystery-fueled setting where certain scenes and character behavior makes everything seem even more off. While it’s apparent after watching it that several scenes and setups are made to deliberately confuse you, with the bright setting of sunlit days and a beautiful orange orchards and other picturesque locations. Yup, the countryside is indeed beautiful. It does actually feel a bit dreamlike at times, and while the mystery keeps building and you feel you know what it’s going to reveal, it still ends up surprising you. And yes, despite a somewhat slow build-up it eventually slams into full psycho-killer territory.

 

Overall, Grandmother’s House is an obscure slasher flick that despite a bit of clunkiness, provides enough surprises and twists to be entertaining and worth a watch. Best to go in blind, though, as knowing too much about the plot and turn of events beforehand is likely to ruin the experience a bit.

 

Grandmother’s House was restored and released on DVD and Blu-ray by Vinegar Syndrome and 88 Films.

 

Grandmother's House

 

Director: Peter Rader
Writers: Peter Jensen, Gayle Jensen,
Country & year: USA, 1988
Actors: Eric Foster, Kim Valentine, Len Lesser, Ida Lee, Brinke Stevens, Michael Robinson, Craig Yerman, David Donham, Joan-Carol Bensen
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097455/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

976-Evil (1988)

976-EvilIn this directorial debut of Robert “Freddy Krueger” Englund, we dial the number 976 to hear our horrorscopes. Yes, with three R’s. And anyone who dials this cursed number will hear a voice by Satan himself as he speaks in riddles how you’ll die in just a few moments.

 

In real life, 976 was an actual premium-rated telephone number that allowed people to call services of everything from Tech support, overall entertainment to phone sex. And, of course, having your horoscope read (with one R). The service also charged extra, which was every parent’s nightmare when they got the next phone bill.

 

Fun fact: Robert Englund still meets fans at comic cons who tell him that their worst grounding by their parents was when they called Freddy himself on a 976 number where Englund laid down a bunch of stock replies. He would also on occasions answer the phone for people all over America for an hour. This was at the peak of Freddy mania. Fun times.

 

One of the callers we meet here is the teenager Hoax (Stephen Geoffreys). He’s an awkward nerdy introvert on the spectrum of mentally retarded. He lives across his cousin Spike (Patrick O’Bryan), who is the polar opposite of Hoax: cool and a badass pussy magnet. And Hoax looks up to him as Spike has to protect him from being bullied. He also lives with his crazy, religious mom who doesn’t make things easier. And Spike can’t protect his sorry ass every minute as he also has a girlfriend to be with. Hoax gets frustrated, angry and now wants to show the bullies and even his mom that he’s no longer to be messed with. After a Satanic ritual and a 976 call, he gets slowly possessed by Beelzebub, develops supernatural powers and big claws to have his sweet revenge.

 

The first forty minutes or so in this “anti-bullying film” (as Englund calls it) are pretty slow and clunky, and with a script co-written by Brian Helgeland (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, Highway to Hell, Mystic River), I expected some more insanity, for lack of a better term. We have a weird love/hate relationship between the cousins Hoax and Spike to build up some dramatic tension. Unfortunately, their chemistry isn’t quite there. Spike also has a girlfriend, Suzie, who mostly looks bored until she gets attacked by spiders. We have a detective, who investigates the source of the cursed 976 call, who looks even more bored. The only one who stands out among the flat characters is the clumsy goofball Hoax as he wears the same nerdy outfit throughout the whole film, except some scenes where he’s wearing a cute pajamas.

 

The real fun is when Hoax starts to get possessed through several stages with some really tasteful make-up effects by Kevin Yagher, who also worked on the original Child’s Play and several of the Elm Street films. We also have some clever use of miniatures, and a climax with set-designs which look like something from a dream sequence from the already mentioned franchise. The direction is mostly solid with colorful, vibrant cinematography in the purest 1980s style. Robert Englund is of course the one behind the evil 976 voice, where he does his very best to not sound like Freddy Krueger. The gore is very minimal, as low-budget as this is, but the little we have is at least well done.

 

As much as we love the cheesy and distinct corniness of the 1980s it must be said how ridiculously dated the film is. Such as being a nerd in that decade was the most “gay and uncool” thing ever. The concept with payphones and if not novelty phones where you actually had to get your fat ass from the couch to dial the number to the local pizza delivery. Could anyone born after the 2000s even grasp to imagine? My oh my, the ole’ days… It’s funny how Robert Englund had to repeat himself during the commentary track on the Blu-ray to remind the Gen Z how insanely different the world actually once was.

 

976-Evil overall is a very mixed bag that maybe works best just as a curiosity to see how our favorite boogeyman from the 80s is as a director. Slow first-half, full popcorn entertainment with some extra cheese during the rest. The film was released on Blu-ray from Eureka Classics in 2020 with an extended version and commentary track by Robert Englund and his wife Nancy Booth, which both met on the set of the film and has been married since. How cute.

 

976-Evil 976-Evil 976-Evil

 

 

Director: Robert Englund
Writers: Rhet Topham, Brian Helgeland
Country & year: US, 1988
Actors: Stephen Geoffreys, Jim Metzler, María Rubell, Lezlie Deane, J.J. Cohen, Patrick O’Bryan, Sandy Dennis, Darren E. Burrows, Gunther Jenson, Jim Thiebaud, Robert Picardo, Paul Willson, Greg Collins
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094597/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Guinea Pig 5: Mermaid in a Manhole (1988)

Guinea pig: Devil's experimentI smell rotten fish.

 

A man credited as The Artist has recently lost his pregnant wife to cancer and lives alone in his crampy, depressing crib somewhere in the urban jungle of Tokyo. The only thing left in his vacant life is his art painting and two gossiping neighbours living in the apartment under him. To keep his sanity and inspiration going he often visits the nearest sewer system, something which we artists all do. One day while visiting the sewer, he stumbles upon a young mermaid, whom he instantly gets attracted to. Who wouldn’t. He immediately starts to draw her before he takes her with him to his apartment where he puts her in the bathtub. And it’s all kawaii from here on with a cute love story which’ll make everyone’s heart melt. Uhm, well, not exactly.

 

Because there’s something really wrong and messed up with this mermaid, you see. The Artist tells us that there once was a river where the sewer system was built on, which the mermaid seems to have been stranded on. And it appears she’s been stranded too long in the sewer which has infected her, and her body starts to fall apart in very grotesque ways because of that. The Artist is anxiously optimistic though, and does whatever he can to nurture and save her.

 

And there’s only that much I can say without spoiling the whole thing given its one-hour runtime with an actual story to tell. This is also the second last film in the Guinea Pig series which steered completely away from the snuff/found footage-style of filmmaking to the traditional approach. We have the other films in the series which focused more on splatstick comedies filled with cringe kindergarten-level humor aimed for six-year olds, and no one seemed to take this seriously other than Hideshi Hino. In other words; Flower of Flesh and Blood and Mermaid in a Manhole are those two in the series that’s worth watching.

 

Like Flower of Flesh and Blood, it’s based on Hino’s manga with the same title, and open for any interpretation as it’s sprinkled with metaphors all over the place which will leave you down in the deepest mental rabbit hole, and lost far under any icebergs. On the surface level, the film works as a tragic and morbid body-horror love story with its plenty of gore, bodily fluids and lots of worms, projected from a deep psychotic feverdream by David Cronenberg – and is a perfect watch while enjoying sushi. Yum!

 

A box-set of the Guinea Pig series was released first time on DVD outside of Japan twenty plus years ago by Unearthed Films. It’s of course out-of-print and only available if you’re willing to pay an insane ridiculous fuck off-price. As much as I’m a supporter of physical media I can’t say with a good conscience that it’s worth it. Nope, sorry. They’re not on any streaming services, but all of the films are on YouTube and a playlist can be found on archive.org.

 

Guinea pig: Mermaid in a Manhole

 

Writer and director: Hideshi Hino
Original title: Ginî piggu: Manhôru no naka no ningyo
Country & year: Japan, 1988
Actors: Shigeru Saiki, Mari Somei, Masami Hisamoto, Gô Rijû
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0161638/

 

Prequels:
– Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood (1985)
– Guinea Pig: Devil’s Experiment (1985)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Cellar Dweller (1988)

Cellar Dweller (1988)It’s a dark and stormy night when comic book artist Colin Childress (Jeffrey Combs) works on his horror series Cellar Dweller. He sets his final drops of ink on a sequence where a young, half-naked damsel in distress runs through the woods and ends up trapped by a satanic, hairy monster. After Colin randomly quotes some obscure phrases from a book of witchcraft, he unconsciously manages to summon both the monster and the damsel who emerges right behind his back. While Herbert West..uhm, sorry, I mean Colin, runs frightened out of his studio, the monster kills the damsel off-screen. Since the monster was summoned from the drawing paper, Colin gets the brilliant idea to set the artwork on fire, which escalates into an inferno that kills them both. The rest of his artwork manage to survive, though.

 

Then, we jump 30 years ahead in time. Colin’s house has now become an art institute, where young cartoonist Whitney Taylor checks in to continue the Cellar Dweller series. Miss Briggs, who manages the place, is not thrilled about this, and tells her that the basement where Colin died is a no-go zone. Of course, Whitney still goes down there anyway, and she comes across an old chest which includes the same book of witchcraft we saw at the beginning. The can of worms is open again, and as soon as Whitney starts drawing Cellar Dweller, a hairy monster begins to terrorize the house’s students in the middle of the night. It’s just too bad that the killings happen off-screen, and makes me wonder if the monster costume was so heavy for the poor person inside that he was almost unable to walk properly.

 

Jeffrey Combs is only featured in the opening scene before the film goes full amateur hour. To top it all off, one of the actors, Brian Robbins, has obviously used Smilex as he has the most absurdly, psychopathic grin that is just completely out of place, to a certain point where he almost overshadows the monster. A bit impressive, though. Aside from a quick decapitation scene during almost a full hour of play time, there is not much gore to find here. The drawings by the comic book artist, Frank Brunner, are gorgeous and got its time to shine, and is actually more impressive than the movie itself. John Carl Buechler (RIP) also directed Troll two years earlier, which explains some of the similarities. And if you haven’t already, then check out Troll 2, and you’ll have a perfect schlockfest of a trilogy to enjoy and laugh at.

 

Cellar Dweller

 

Director: John Carl Buechler
Country & year: USA, 1988
Actors: Yvonne De Carlo, Debrah Farentino, Brian Robbins, Pamela Bellwood, Miranda Wilson, Vince Edwards, Jeffrey Combs, Floyd Levine, Michael Deak
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0094850/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poltergeist III (1988)

Poltergeist 3 (1988)Carol Anne has now moved to her uncle and aunt at the John Hancock Center in Chicago where she attends a special school for gifted children and visits a psychologist regularly. She would prefer to not talk about the past, but the shrink hypnotizes her to do so and can assure Carol Anne that talking about the past will make it go away. In this case it makes the dark forces enter her life again and a certain scary old man starts to manifest in mirrors and reflections. To quote Tangina: He’s back!

 

The idea of ​​placing the story in a large skyscraper works for the most part. It creates its own claustrophobic setting. I especially like the idea with the mirrors. Gary Sherman, most known for low-budget exploitation films, does a decent job with the technical aspects concidering the production problems caused by Heather O’Rourke’s sudden death at the age of 12, four months before the last day of shooting.  It almost stopped the production completely, and like «Poltergeist II», the entire ending sequence had to be rewritten. While it somehow barely worked in the previous film, it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever here and it just leaves a big question mark over your head. The movie starts actually pretty good and strong, but develops with ridiculous plot holes, messy editing and scenes that don’t go well together. Heather’s death in mind gives a more sad than satisfying end to the Poltergeist saga.

 

Poltergeist III

 

Director: Gary Sherman
Country & year: USA, 1988
Actors: Tom Skerritt, Nancy Allen, Heather O’Rourke, Zelda Rubinstein, Lara Flynn Boyle, Kipley Wentz, Richard Fire, Nathatn Davis
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0095889/

 

Sequel of:
Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986) http://horrorghouls.com/reviews/poltergeist-2-the-other-side-1986/
Poltergeist (1982) http://horrorghouls.com/reviews/poltergeist-1982/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nosferatu in Venice (1988)

Nosferatu in Venice (1988)The movie opens with a group of duck hunters who happens to shoot down a bat. “It’s bad luck to kill a bat” one of them says, before one of their dogs eats it. And no, it wasn’t Nosferatu the dog ate, just a random bat. Then we jump to Venice where Professor Paris Catalano (Christopher Plummer) arrives to meet a young lady after getting a vague letter about Nosferatu. According to the letter, Nosferatu was last seen in Venice during a carnival in 1786, and legend has it that he’s still hiding in the city. Paris Catalano has dedicated his life to study Nosferatu, and is more or less the equivalent of Van Helsing. I assume they had to add a different name due to copyright, who knows. He eats dinner with the same people we saw in the duck hunting-scene in the beginning, where he gives a quick and half-hearted lecture about vampires, before he gets escorted down into a crypt under the tunnels of the city where a casket from Transylvania is located. The legend says that Nosferatu is the one who’s buried in that casket. So why not just open it, put the stake through his chest, and just be done with it? You tell me…

 

However, Professor Paris is certain that Nosferatu isn’t located in that coffin, and that he is shipwrecked somewhere. He won’t even dare to open it, in order to check if he’s right. So what’s he gonna do next? He gets a medium to summon the vampire. Nosferatu (Klaus Kinski) then stands up from a coffin somewhere on a random, obscure location and starts his journey. He stumbles into a gypsy camp where a fortune teller tells him that he’s been summoned by a young lady. He bites the fortune teller’s neck before he heads for Venice, for some more necks to put his teeth in… I guess…

 

And as you may have figured out, this movie has no relation to neither Nosferatu from 1922 nor the Werner Herzog’s remake from 1979 in any shape or form. Who knows what this movie really tries to be, but what it definitely is, is a completely incoherent mess. Christopher Plummer looks really confused here, and you can tell he has some difficulty with delivering his lines. That’s probably because there were five directors who came and left, after the first one got fired, so you can try to imagine the chaos and turmoil behind the scenes. It’s a miracle that the movie exists at all. And when even Klaus Kinski ended up directing himself in some of the scenes, then you know that everyone have seriously jumped the ship.

 

So yeah, this is one of those cases where a two-hour making of-documentary had been far more entertaining and interesting than the movie itself…

 

Klaus Kinski was perfect as Nosferatu in the 1979-remake and is probably one of his finest roles. Here, its the polar opposite. He refused to wear the same makeup and shave his long, blonde hair and approached the role with only some simple eyeshadow and puts on the iconic two front teeth when he feels like it. All the characteristics and known trademarks are gone; the hand gestures, the long fingers/nails, as if the guy refused to play the character altogether, and rather just not give a fuck and play himself instead. “Kinski in Venice”, yeah why not.. There’s zero Nosferatu about him. He acts more like a disturbed lunatic, high on whatever he can snort and who likes to hunt down and rape young women in Venice’s narrow alleys, than a fragile vampire who needs blood to survive. It’s almost comical…

 

Just to put it in a nutshell how extremely “off” Nosferatu is in this film: he’s asked if the daylight doesn’t frighten him. He answers: “It’s the night who frighten me.” So, there you have it. “Nosferatu in Hawaii” next? Despite all the retardedness, the film has its share of gothic and gloomy atmosphere and Venice looks really chilling and sinister, and seems like an unique place to shoot a vampire flick. At least, some of the five directors who tried to sail this shipwreck of a movie to the projection screen managed to add some really fine and moody imagery. And the fitting soundtrack by Vangelis isn’t bad, either. So, I’ll have to give some props in that regard.

 

Nosferatu in Venice

 

Directors: Augusto Caminito, Mario Caiano, Klaus Kinski, Maurizio Lucidi, Pasquale Squitieri, Luigi Cozzi
Original title: Nosferatu a Venezia
Country & year: Italy, 1988
Actors: Klaus Kinski, Christopher Plummer, Donald Pleasence, Barbara De Rossi, Yorgo Voyagis, Anne Knecht, Elvire Audray
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0091651/

 

Tom Ghoul