Frankenstein (2025)

FrankensteinThe year is 1857, and the crew of a Royal Danish Navy ship sailing for the North Pole discovers a severely injured man. Suddenly they are attacked by a huge, rage-filled and violent man, more resembling a creature to the crew than a human being. After this creature has killed and hurt several of the crew members, Captain Anderson uses a blunderbuss (a 17th- to mid-19th-century firearm with a short, large caliber barrel) and manages to sink the monstrous being into the icy water. Gone for good now, right? Hah. In the meantime, the man they just saved, Victor Frankenstein, explains that the creature is in fact his own creation. And he starts to recount the story of how it all came to be.

 

Frankenstein from 2025 is produced, written and directed by Guillermo del Toro, which has been a dream project for the guy for a long time. It was initially in development for Universal Pictures, but they killed it off and then Netflix came and brought it back to life, or Frankensteined it if you will (ha-ha). And as expected it is of course a beautiful gothic film in true Guillermo del Toro-style. While the beloved and well-known story of Frankenstein doesn’t need much of an introduction, it’s still worth noting that this story have actually rarely been told in a true-to-the-book fashion. While the story was written by 18 year old Mary Shelley in 1818, there have been numerous adaptions and re-imaginings over the years. Most famously the 1931 Universal Pictures movie with Boris Karloff as the monster, which created the iconic Frankenstein’s monster look with the flat head and bolts on each side of the neck. This character is one of the most recognized horror icons, and you know who he is even if you haven’t seen any of the movies or read the novel. (Yet…despite how well known the story of Frankenstein is, though, there’s still an odd amount of people out there who believes that Frankenstein is the creature’s name…but I digress).

 

Guillermo del Toro’s version of the story has more in common with the book than many of the adaptations that’s been done over the years, but it’s still taking some turns of its own. Victor tells his story about how he grew up grieving his mother’s early death and getting hardened by his father’s abuse, and he becomes obsessed with becoming the greatest surgeon ever, aiming at being able to cure death. Certainly no lack of ambition there, and certainly no lack of egotistical narcissism either. When he actually does manage to reanimate a corpse, which is of course an incredible feat even though the poor thing just looks like it wants (and needs) to be put out of its misery as soon as possible, the spectators aren’t exactly thrilled by what they see. The Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh expels him, denouncing it as sacrilege. That doesn’t stop the doctor, because if there’s a will, there’s a way! Or more precisely, if there’s money, there’s a way, because his display also caught the attention of an arms merchant called Henrich Harlander, who offers Victor an unlimited budget to continue his experiments. And so, the body parts are harvested from hanged criminals and soldiers killed in the ongoing Crimean War, so the mad scientist can finally build his large creature to reanimate by harnessing lightning to send electric currents through the lymphatic system. And we all know that this becomes a success, creating the creature which later becomes the bane of Frankenstein’s existence.

 

Frankenstein

 

This movie is, visually, a treat from the very start to the finish. The cinematography, set designs and costumes are all top notch, but of course nothing less can be expected from a del Toro film. The cinematographer Dan Laustsen once again delivers a treat for the eyes, just like he also did in this year’s The Gorge. This is all offering up a romantically gothic banquet, perfectly scored by Alexandre Desplat’s atmospheric music.

 

Performances are overall pretty good, with Oscar Isaac as the narcissistic madman Victor Frankenstein who will stop at nothing to achieve is goal, and Jacob Elordi as the creature who is rightfully confused and scared at the start, until all the wrongdoings against him turns him into an angry beast. Although…I have to admit I was a little conflicted about the creature’s appearance in this movie, because…well…there’s nothing really monstrous about him. At the beginning he kind of reminds me a little of the Zora people in the Zelda games, with his blue-ish skin and all. He does change his appearance a bit later on as he evolves, but his looks are never unattractive. I get that this is an obviously more romanticized version, where the creature is a lot more meek than in the original story or many of the other adaptions, but it feels a little off how people then are so frightened of his appearance. He literally just looks like a big, handsome guy with scars on his face, who’s gone through some rough times. Maybe Hunkenstein would’ve been a good name for him.

 

Aside from the two main actors of the movie, it was also fun to see the beautiful Mia Goth in two supporting roles here, first as Victor’s mother (which we see very briefly), and then as Elizabeth who is the fiancée of Victor’s brother, but also Victor’s obvious love interest. Like in all classical beauty & the beast stories we do of course get a connection between the creature and Elizabeth, as she’s very empathetic as opposed to Victor’s extreme egotistical personality. If there’s one thing I feel this movie robbed us of though, it’s seeing Mia Goth as The Bride. I honestly really thought that moment was coming, too, but it just fizzled out into nothing. Oh well.

 

Overall, Guillermo del Toro’s vision of Frankenstein is as expected a solid, beautiful gothic sci-fi adventure, and once again works both as a story of wonder and as a tale of warning about what could happen once humans are not fully cognizant of the things they create and the consequences it may bring. A tale as old as time, of humans riddled with arrogance, narcissism and greed…too often asking themselves can I, when more often they should have asked themselves should I.

 

Frankenstein Frankenstein Frankenstein

 

 

Writer and director: Guillermo del Toro
Country & year: USA/Mexico, 2025
Actors: Oscar Isaac, Jacob Elordi, Christoph Waltz, Mia Goth, Felix Kammerer, Charles Dance, David Bradley, Lars Mikkelsen, Christian Convery, Nikolaj Lie Kaas, Kyle Gatehouse, Lauren Collins
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1312221

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

Army of Frankensteins (2013)

Army of Frankensteins―We’re from the future, and it’s time to kick some Frankenstein ass.

 

And no, this is not Bill & Ted’s Another Bogus Journey to put Frankenstein into the Iron Maiden… Army of Frankensteins is a… movie… where weird shit happens, all over the place, literally. Made by a group of young, ambitious and hyperactive amateurs that apparently had the time of their lives while making it. And not to be confused with Frankenstein’s Army, which was released the same year as this. The plot for Army of Frankensteins goes, uuhm… starts something like this:

 

We’re in Virginia, the year is 1809 in the middle of a civil war. A nurse named Maggie is escaping from a group of Confederacy soldiers. She runs into some dude…and is about to have sex… suddenly, a horde of Frankenstein’s monsters show up and rips the dude’s arm off. Maggie runs screaming into the woods.

 

We jump to present time where the young grocery clerk is preparing to propose to his girlfriend Ashley. And that goes straight into the shitter as Ashley is an NPC who’s not programmed to be proposed to. She loves him though, even though the stiff and wooden high-school play-acting and dialogues is as convincing as Mr. Beast’s creepy smile.

 

After the failed proposal, Alan walks home and gets beaten by two slobs. A kid with a gun comes and rescues him and makes sure that he gets zapped unconscious so he can bring him to a warehouse lab where he wakes up, in a dentist chair. He gets met by a strange old man that he earlier met in the grocery, and yes, he is Victor Frankenstein himself. He goes by the name Dr. Tanner Finski, but he’s not fooling anyone. The twelve-year old kid is, of course, Igor (yes, really). Victor rips out his right eyeball which he puts into his Frankenmonster. After some more shit happens, an interdimensional portal gets opened that creates several dozen of Frankenmonsters before they all get sucked in and transferred back to 1865, in the midst of the battleground of the American Civil War. Of course.

 

So… where do we go from here? The script says… who the fuck knows. We just make shit up as we go along. Alan and Victor get rushed to the nearest medical tent, where Maggie also comes in. Maggie who? The maid we saw in the beginning. And Igor? He’s somewhere, getting chased by Frankenmonsters. Some soldier with one of the many epic fake mustaches takes a green serum from Igor. Alan sees visions of the original Frankenmonster’s POV. They must die…ALL OF THEM, Victor shouts before he dies. Alan teams up with Igor, Maggie and a Union soldier with a fake mustache to kick some Frankenstein ass… and a handful of Confederates/South Boys on the way, because, well, it’s the civil war, boy!

 

While it all sounds big and epic on paper, it looks like some role-play gathering at the local woods, where you can say that, well, some people got hurt. Army of Frankensteins is full-on homemade goofy schlock from start to finish and doesn’t try to be much else. There’s some legit qualities to point out here though, such as some solid make-up effects and cheesy fake n’ heavy mustaches that never seem to fall off, even during the battle scenes. The gore is cheap and the use of green screens is what to expect. The plot gets sillier when even Abraham Lincoln chimes in, here looking like he has stage 4 stomach cancer. God bless. And yeah, then there’s Mega Man. Yup, because, why not. Pure infantile amateur-hour movie madness and fun enough if you’re in the right mood. So there you have it. It’s on your favorite streaming site, Tubi.

 

Army of Frankensteins Army of Frankensteins Army of Frankensteins

 

Director: Ryan Bellgardt
Writers: Ryan Bellgardt, Josh McKamie, Andy Swanson
Country & year: USA, 2013
Actors: Jordan Farris, Christian Bellgardt, John Ferguson, Eric Gesecus, Rett Terrell, Raychelle McDonald, Thomas Cunningham, Lucas Ross, Billy Bean, Shellie Arizu Sterling, Jami Harris Shine
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2620490/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Frankenstein’s Army (2013)

Frankenstein's Army― Only the Nazis could think of something like this!

 

Before every found-footage film, there was ― Frankenstein’s Army (not to be confused with Army of Frankensteins), the first found-footage film ever. Yes, ever! We’re going way waayy back to 1945, believe it or not.

 

We’re at the end of WW2 where we follow a small group of Russian soldiers as they’re walking through some obscure and bleak countryside in Germany. Their mission is to hunt down a Nazi sniper nest, and Dimitri is documenting the whole thing on camera as a task from the Russian government to make a propaganda film for the Red Army. For some odd reasons they speak English, because… because. But the first thing that strikes the viewer in the glossy year of 2025 is how surprisingly clean and crisp the image quality is, considering it’s shot on a 8mm. Huh. Either Dmitri is a time-traveler, or the film spent several decades in the editing room to restore the quality to pitch-perfectness before it got officially released in 2013.

 

Anyway, as they move further into the zone they get a distress call that eventually leads them into something that looks like an abandoned factory. That there’s some shady business going on here, is an understatement, where we have minecarts and a shaft filled with bodyparts. Little do the Kalinka soldiers know that this is the lair of none other than Victor Frankenstein! And say hello to his horde of freaky murderous robomonsters. It’s death metal time, baby!

 

And jokes aside… Frankenstein’s Army is the passion project of the Dutch filmmaker and storyboard artist Richard Raaphorst that was eight years in the making. The original idea was a more ambitious horror comedy with the title Worst Case Scenario which he worked on for two years. And ironically, the film ended up as a, well, worst case scenario as it was canceled after the money ran out. The only thing that was left to show was a teaser and a trailer, which got nominated for Best Movie Trailer by the Golden Trailer Awards in 2006. And that was that.

 

So… what’s next? Instead of letting the delightful steampunk zombie designs from the canceled film go to waste, they were further used in Richard Raaphorst’s next film, or plan B, if you like, with Frankenstein’s Army. To save more money, it was shot in found-footage-style on very limited locations without any use of cheap Asylum/SyFy-looking green screens. Aside from the found-footage element, this is pure old school. We can also argue that the story has as much meat on its bones as a starved Holocaust prisoner as the film works more as a proof of concept that just as well could’ve been a DLC to a Wolfenstein game.

 

And speaking of games; In 2021 Richard Raaphorst accused Capcom for stealing the design for the one of the bosses in Resident Evil Village. Nothing but a desperate marketing stunt, I’d say. The first thing that came to my mind was actually Air Man from Mega Man 2. But that’s just simple me.

 

That being said, this is still an entertaining little flick with some great claustrophobic and grim, dirty atmosphere, gory highlights, superb practical effects, attention to detail in both set-designs and the monster creatures, sprinkled with some dark humor and morbid charm. And of course, the nightmarish and demented cybernetic experiments of Dr. Frankenstein, makes this alone worth a watch. Richard Raaphorst showcases some strong and creative directing skills here, with lots of twisted ideas that could further evolve into a sequel of two. This is so far the one and only feature-length film he’s made, so… we can only hope.

 

Frankenstein's Army Frankenstein's Army

 

Director: Richard Raaphorst
Writers: Richard Raaphorst, Miguel Tejada-Flores, Chris W. Mitchell
Country & year: Netherlands/USA/Czech Republic, 2013
Actors: Robert Gwilym, Hon Ping Tang, Alexander Terentyev, Luke Newberry, Joshua Sasse, Mark Stevenson, Andrei Zayats, Karel Roden, Klaus Lucas, Cristina Catalina, Jan de Lukowicz
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1925435/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Frankenstein Island (1981)

Frankenstein IslandThe director, Jerry Warren, woke up one day and saw some hot air balloons from his window. He picked up his potato camera, pushed the rec-button, and maybe hoped he could use it in some future project. And so he did. C o o l.

 

Then we cut to a group of middle-aged men who have crash-landed with the balloons on some island. After some exploring, they stumble into some natives who only consist of young, slim ladies. They only cover their tits and asses with some leopard-bikini-clad. And they seem to have easy access to shampoo. Welcome to the wildlife.

 

You are pretty, one of the ladies says. And no, this is not really a porno, this is supposed to be a Sci-Fi horror film, if you haven’t already figured it out. They have some weird ritualistic dances as if they were high on bath salt while our group of men drools at them. Every man’s wet fantasy seems to have come true … or maybe not. Because there is a shocking secret to be revealed about these ladies later. One of the ladies gets suddenly kidnapped by a goofy-looking guy in jeans and a beanie who looks pretty much like the twin brother of Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys.

 

It’s impossible to try explaining what’s really happening here. The film is so bafflingly absurd that anyone would get a serious brain fart if trying to find a breadcrumb of logic.

 

Our men get met by two other dudes who just randomly pop up behind some bushes – one old bearded grandpa with a cane and a guy with a pirate patch. And both of these guys look like two hardcore alcoholics who have zero business being on a movie set. The strong odor of piss, sweat, booze and old spice really reeks. The one with the patch laughs all the time, drinks from every bottle he can find, and I would assume that the guy was completely hammered for real during the filming. Oliver Reed would be impressed. Because there is no freaking way that any actors near this production could act drunk so naturally as we see here. There’s also a scene where he seems to black-out as he sits by a table and the camera just keeps rolling in case he wakes up. Spoiler alert: some ten moments later he wakes up, just barely.

 

Frankenstein Island

 

400 words in, and I haven’t even got to break down the premise. Maybe because there hardly aren’t any. But like in a crowded bar somewhere in Wisconsin on a Wednesday night, a lot of unpredictable shit is bound to happen. And if a celluloid can get drunk, here you have the result. It’s incoherent, messy, absurd, bizarre and out-of-control all the way to the very last pub goer who refuses to leave after closing time. Just one more drink. One more. Burp. Okay then: We have a cheap-looking lab where an old and-ready-to-die Dr. Von (yes, with an o) Helsing lies in a hospital bed, looking confused. Who could blame him. We have some random silly scenes with more Trailer Park Boys-looking weirdos who swing with the cheapest Halloween Devil Fork the budget allowed to spend. We see a glimpse of some creepy mannequin, just because, some drops of acid-trip images, and, of course, we have Dr. Frankenstein, the man of the hour himself. Here he’s played by John Carradine, where he only pops up randomly as a hologram while he’s rambling a string of demented and nonsensical words. If his lines weren’t cryptic enough, they always end with The power… The power… The power… The power…!

 

Man, this movie…

 

And yes, we actually have a Frankenstein monster shoe-horned in here, just to put the little, golden raspberry on the top. He pops up randomly just in time to join the classic fight scene in the laboratory. And this fight scene is something else, where the retard-o-meter goes all up and even through the ceiling. It’s even worse than the catfight scene in Manos: The Hands of Fate. The best way to describe the insanity is as if there was a blind dance coordinator on the set instead of a stunt/fight coordinator. The monster also keeps arm-swatting constantly as if there was a fly in front of his face that wouldn’t leave him alone. I wouldn’t be surprised if he accidentally smacked several of his co-actors. And the legend says that he’s still to this day trying to swat that fly.

 

The film is written, directed and produced by the same mastermind who made Teenage Zombies (1959), The Wild World of Batwoman (1966) and other public-domain classics. The most amusing thing here is that Frankenstein Island was made after Jerry Warren took a ten-year hiatus from filmmaking. And during those ten years, plus five years prior, he didn’t watch a single film and had zero sense of the pulse of the horror movie business – other than he had heard rumors that horror films were profitable again (thanks to the rise of the slasher genre). The guy clearly lived in his own small bubble, completely out of touch deep in a fantasy world where the only movies that existed were his own, and thought that a film like Frankenstein Island would rise his ego. Never heard the term zeitgeist either, I would guess. The even more amusing, if not just tragicomic, is the matter of fact that Frankenstein Island looks like something from the 1950s alongside with Teenage Zombies, produced by Ed Wood. It’s so hilariously and just painfully dated, almost to an impressive level. Without knowing any of this beforehand, I’d rather believe that the Earth is flat than that this was made the same year as Halloween II.

 

Warren also wanted to make a sequel to Frankenstein Island which he described as more up-to-date, not so campy and old-time. I would even pay a hundred bucks to see that film, but unfortunately Warren died in 1988, two months before John Carradine. Double RIP. The one and only DVD release of the film is out of print and very pricey. It’s also available on Tubi.

 

Frankenstein Island Frankenstein Island Frankenstein Island

 

 

Writer and director: Jerry Warren
Country & year: USA, 1981
Actors: Robert Clarke, Steve Brodie, Cameron Mitchell, Robert Christopher, Tain Bodkin, Patrick O’Neil, Andrew Duggan, John Carradine, Katherine Victor, G.J. Mitchell
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082410/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Blackenstein (1973)

BlackensteinAh HELL Nah, It’s BLACKENSTEIN ya’ll, starring … Lori Lightfoot? Bruh..!

 

The most intriguing aspect about this hopeless misfire of a motion picture is that the writer and producer, Frank R. Saletri, was a Criminal defense lawyer who woke up one day and decided he wanted to work in the movie business and become a monster movie mogul. Yeah, we all have to start somewhere – but: he had big hopes that Blackenstein would latch on the success of Blacula (1972) and already had the scripts for two sequels ready to shoot: The Fall of the House of Blackenstein and Blackenstein III. One of the sequels would have the alternative title The Black Frankenstein Meets the White Werewolf. Sounds fun, but that never happened as Blackenstein ended up like something Ed Wood would make during his drunken feverdreams after binge drinking all cocktail bars in Hollywood. And no, that’s not the former mayor of Chicago we see on the cover, it’s none other than the legendary Joe De Sue. Joe De who? He was a client of Saletri and a perfect definition of a non-actor. But both Frank R. Saletri and first-time director William A. Levey seemed optimistic.

 

Eddie Turner is a war vet who got his feet blown off after stepping on a mine in Vietnam. The more optimistic wife, Winifred, knocks on the door to Dr. Stein’s villa and private hospital in Hollywood Hills to ask for him to fix Eddie. And just for clearance, Dr. Stein is a white dude, so don’t get further confused by the full title Blackenstein The Black Frankenstein. After Eddie get transported to Dr. Stein’s lab, the shady assistant Malcomb falls in love with Winifred, and in jealousy tries to make sure that Eddie dies by messing with Dr. Stein’s lab equipment. Well, that doesn’t go as planned as Eddie wakes up, looking like a cheap cosplay version of a familiar monster.

 

Blackenstein wakes up in some random dungeon we’ve never seen before and shuffles his way through the lab as he makes some weird snoring sound where the term sleepwalk through gets its fullest meaning. We see him walking through some empty hospital corridor in the slowest pace possible to drag out some extra screentime, until he approaches a patient we see gets killed by the monster behind the bed curtain in silhouette. And the effects are probably more lousy than you’d expect.

 

There’s absolutely nothing that works in this turkey, other than Blackenstein being a perfect study in inept filmmaking while having some cheap laughs. Sunny days suddenly transform to thunderclapping nights and actors who perform the stiffest and driest dialogues in the style of a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. No colorful and offensive ghetto talk here, unfortunately. The editing is a trip in itself which makes Blackenstein teleport himself back and forth to his dungeon cell between his murder sprees, completely unnoticed. And why would he go back to his cell? I guess the script just said so.

 

We also have a brief shot of some bare breasts and a complete random scene in a bar with some comedian.

 

Blackenstein didn’t hit the pulse on the blaxploitation market and writer Saletri wouldn’t work on a film again, nor his client Joe De Sue got any phonecalls from Tinseltown. Saletri still wrote several scripts which included two Sherlock Holmes films titled Sherlock Holmes in the Adventures of the Werewolf of the Baskervilles and Sherlock Holmes in the Adventures of the Golden Vampire where he had Alice Cooper in mind to star as Dracula. Sounds completely batshit and epic. And speaking of Sherlock, Saletri was later a victim of an unsolved murder mystery when he was found dead in his mansion (formerly owned by Bela Lugosi) in 1982. The police described it as gangland style. So maybe it’s fair to ask what some of his former clients have been up to lately. Let’s start with the guy he failed to make a movie star of, Joe Dee… what’s his name again?

 

Blackenstein

 

Director: William A. Levey
Writer: Frank R. Saletri
Original title: Blackenstein The Black Frankenstein
Country & year: USA, 1973
Actors: John Hart, Ivory Stone, Joe De Sue, Roosevelt Jackson, Andrea King, Nick Bolin
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0069795/

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

Frankenhooker (1990)

Frankenhooker (1999)Jeffrey Franken (James Lorinz) is a young medical student whose fiancee, Elizabeth Shelley, gets overrun by a lawnmower at a backyard party and gets shredded to pieces. The only thing left of her is her head, which he puts in the freezer. He’s determined to get her back in some way, and arranges his garage into a typical “mad scientist” lab. Then he drives around New York’s dark streets to pick up the finest hookers to assemble body parts for his new girlfriend.

 

Obviously,  troubles start right from when she wakes up, with a mentality of a whore and all the body parts stitched on her. She escapes the garage and gets loose on New York city and all she can say is: Need some company? Looking for some action? Got any money? And then she enters a bar where she meets the pimp of the missing hookers who notice a certain tattoo on her new arm..

 

With a title like «Frankenhooker» you may expect the worst, but if you’re familiar to Frank Henenlotter’s movies you know what you’re getting yourself into. With the limited amount of resources and small budget, he really knows how to use it and combine horror with comedy. Frankenhooker is probably his best one and the most lightened, entertaining and overall the craziest. And like Henenlotter’s previous films, the darker and sleazy streets of New York are portrayed in a authentic way. Shot without permission during the night with real hookers in the background gives his films a more realistic look.

 

James Lorinz is great in his role as Jeffrey. He reminds me of a milder version of Herbert West. He’s sympatethic and really feels bad for killing streetwalkers to collect the body parts, but he really wants his loved one back. The more he slips into desperation and obsession to fix his fiancee back to life, you just feel sorry for him. Patty Mullen as the Frankenhoooker isn’t bad either. She’s not as serious as Lorinz, but her facial ticks and overacting fits the tone and her scenes are entertaining  as hell.

 

And of course, how can you not love a movie with exploding hookers?

 

Frankenhooker

 

Director: Frank Henenlotter
Country & year: USA, 1990
Actors: James Lorinz, Joanne Ritchie, Patty Mullen, J.J. Clark, C.K. Steefel, Shirl Bernheim, Judy Grafe, Helmar Augustus Cooper, Joseph Gonzalez
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0099611/

 

Tom Ghoul