Monster House (2006)

Monster HouseIt’s only one day before Halloween, and 12-year-old Dustin James (or D.J. for short) is busy spying on his creepy elderly neighbor, Horace Nebbercracker. He sees that the old man steals a little girl’s bicycle, and that’s a habit that’s been going on for quite some time. Whenever something enters Nebbercracker’s lawn, it’s his. This same day, D.J.’s parents leave for a convention, and the teenage girl Elizabeth (aka Zee) will babysit him. When Dustin and his friend Charles Chowder play basketball outside, they end up losing it on Nebbercracker’s lawn. Ooops, we all know where this is headed. Still, D.J. tries to retrieve it before the old, cranky neighbor notices it, but too late. Nebbercracker comes out of his old house, furious like a bat from hell and wants to give these snotty brats a piece of his mind! He goes completely crazy, lifts D.J. up while shouting you think you can just terrorize my lawn?! while the boy desperately tries to claim his innocence. Then the inevitable happens: the old geezer suffers a heart attack and is taken away in an ambulance.

 

That same evening, Zee’s boyfriend, Bones, pays a visit and starts talking about rumors relating to Nebbercracker, about how he supposedly cannibalized his wife. He also says that Nebbercracker once stole his kite. Later, when D.J. spies on the now empty house across the street, he notices that when Bones leaves the house, a kite is coming out of the front door of the old Nebbercracker house. Bones goes to retrieve it, and is then dragged into the house. D.J. starts to believe that the old house is now haunted, and the next day they save a candy-selling girl called Jenny from becoming another one of the house’s victims. No one believes them about the monster house of course, especially since today is Halloween, so it’s all up to them to stop the house from claiming more victims.

 

Monster House is an animated supernatural horror comedy from 2006, directed by Gil Kenan as his directorial debut. Originally, the movie was set up to be at DreamWorks, but one thing lead to another and he ended up having a meeting with Steven Spielberg and Sony Pictures Entertainments picked up the project. The movie was filmed using a technique called motion-capture, where the actors performed the characters’ movements and lines while they were being linked to sensors. And while there were a bunch of parents that got pissed off due to the movie’s horror elements and dark themes, it received generally positive reviews and grossed $142 million worldwide on a budget of $75 million.

 

Despite being an animated PG-rated movie, it’s one that can be appreciated by adults just as much as the younger ones. It does not only have an intriguing story and a creepy mystery, it also has very charming and likable characters where they’ve done a great job at matching the perfect voices. There’s a sense of both horror and adventure, with an 80s throwback style that fits so well with everything. This being a children’s movie and all, the horror elements are still very prominent and there’s even some nods to Hitchcock’s Psycho and Rear Window. It’s got a predominantly dark theme, which gets even darker than you might initially expect, and kudos to them for having the balls to take it all out. The final part of the movie does go totally wild and proves that it aimed to live up to the title, and while this strays a bit from the more subdued horror elements from earlier in the movie where everything about the house was still a mystery, it’s a very fitting way to end it. After the final showdown we even get a cute little aww-moment.

 

Monster House is a great animated thrill ride for the young yet not-so-young audience, and I’m afraid this one was very much lightning in a bottle which we’ll never get close to seeing again. An animated movie filled with the sense of adventure reminiscent of what could be found in movies like The Goonies (1985) and filled with an actual horror story and horror elements, very much working as a perfect introduction to scary movies to a young audience…yeah, I doubt that’ll ever happen again.

 

Kenan later made the Poltergeist remake from 2015, and his latest release was Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire this year. There’s no doubt that Monster House remains his strongest entry into the horror genre. Even to this day it has kept its spooky charm, and I’m sure many of the children who were originally frightened by watching this one when it was released back in 2006, now remembers it fondly. Well, that’s at least how I remember the movies that scared me when I was a kid…

 

Monster House Monster House Monster House

 

Director: Gil Kenan
Writers: Dan Harmon, Rob Schrab, Pamela Pettler
Country & year: USA, 2006
Voice actors: Ryan Whitney, Steve Buscemi, Mitchel Musso, Catherine O’Hara, Fred Willard, Sam Lerner, Woody Schultz, Ian McConnel, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Lee, Spencer Locke, Kevin James
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385880/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

TerrorVision (1986)

TerrorVision – Hey, remember that movie? You know, the one about the little space guy. Made you cry like a butthole?

 

After the insanely catchy theme song, we get the pleasure of meeting the Puttermans. They are… uhm, well, a lot could be said about the Puttermans, but first and foremost, they are a family. And not just a family, but an American family, living in Los Angeles. They’re THE most American family of all time. And the year is also 1986, with its peak of technology, and being a wealthy upper-class, what can be more perfect than that? Here we have mom Raquel and dad Stan, a swinger-couple, living the American dream with their two kids, a wacky survivalist/doomsday prepper grandpa and some other middle-aged dude who should be in jail for his fashion choice. The family’s daughter, Suzy, likes to dress up as Cyndi Lauper and dates a stoner dude named O.D. (overdose). He’s an over-the-top stereotypical metal head who’d make Beavis and Butt-Head look like Jehovah’s Witnesses.

 

The family dad puts up a big satellite dish with no success. It isn’t after a lightning bolt hits the dish from the blue sky when the family can enjoy Channel 69, MTV and Medusa’s Midnight Horrorthon. C o o l. The lighting comes from a garbage disposal on the distant planet Pluton, by the way, that teleported a Hungry Beast to eventually come out of the Putterman’s TV and terrorize the family. But you just wait, cuz it gets crazier. The best way to describe TerrorVision is a live-action Saturday-morning cartoon on mushrooms, shot like a demented sitcom with three episodes stitched together. Absolute zero logic and all over the place. The only thing missing here, to put the satirical cherry on top, is a laugh track.

 

TerrorVision is written and directed by the Full Moon bat Ted Nicolaou, here under the banner of Empire Pictures. This is his directorial debut after working over a decade as sound engineer and editor on films such as The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and with his first collab with Charles Band on Tourist Trap (1979). The monster design was made by John Carl Buechler, who also made Troll the same year, another Charles Band production. Nicolaou said to Buechler as he was making the monster: make it look really stupid. The result is something that looks like if Sloth from The Goonies was mutated with a dog, Pizza the Hutt and one of my classmates from elementary school. So, mission accomplished, I’d say. The youngest actor who plays the family’s son was permitted by his Christian parents to be in the film on one condition: to not have him in the same frame with the nude paintings which you’ll see everywhere in the house. And Mr. Nicolaou sure broke that promise more than one or three/four times.

 

The film was panned by the critics upon its release, where we have a quote from Time Out Film Guide saying: — The aesthetics of trash sink to new depths of delirium in this kooky sitcom variant of Poltergeist. Couldn’t be more true though. It wasn’t until years later it found its niche audience and is viewed as a so-bad-it’s-good film, which I beg to differ. Yes, it has its clear elements of such, but it’s way too self-aware to fully earn a spot in that category. Not for everyone, but sure a wild, doozy ride if you’re in for it. It’s basically the best and worst of the pop-cultural 1980s in a nutshell, exaggerated up to the max. Maybe some Aha..hahaha’s for the adults and just mesmerizing birthday party schlockfest for the kids with some gooey light-hearted gore. It will leave an impact, nevertheless, even in the year of 2024 where 1980s throwback films are more popular than ever.

 

TerrorVision is available on a DVD/Blu-ray double feature with The Video Dead from Shout! Factory.

 

TerrorVision TerrorVision TerrorVision

 

 

Writer and director: Ted Nicolaou
Country & year: USA/Italy, 1986
Actors: Diane Franklin, Gerrit Graham, Mary Woronov, Chad Allen, Jon Gries, Bert Remsen, Alejandro Rey, Randi Brooks, Jennifer Richards, Sonny Carl Davis, Ian Patrick Williams, William Paulson, John Leamer
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092074/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

Dolls (1987)

DollsYoung Judy has brought along her beloved teddybear, Teddy, on a trip together with her father and stepmother. And Teddy is pretty much the only comfort she’s got, as both her father and stepmother sees her as nothing but an inconvenience. A thunderstorm leaves them stranded as their car gets stuck, and in frustration the stepmother takes Teddy from Judy and throws him far into the bushes, where Judy can’t get to him. This then leads to a strange scene where Judy actually imagines that Teddy comes back as a giant monster-teddy and kills both her stepmother and her father. Yeah, there ain’t any happy family vibes to find around here, that’s for sure, but who can really blame the little girl, both her stepmother and her father are assholes.

 

The trio ends up seeking shelter by getting into a nearby mansion, owned by a charming elderly couple named Gabriel and Hilary Hartwicke. The couple immediately takes to young Judy, and when learning that she lost her teddybear, Gabriel gives her a Jester-doll whose name is Mr. Punch. Then, three more people also arrive at the mansion, seeking shelter from the weather: Ralph, a very kind-hearted dude who maybe suffers from being a tad bit naive, and two hitchhikers named Isabel and Enid, who are two more additions to the asshole-group. So, we have an innocent little girl, a nice man with a good heart, and four douchebags who are now invited to stay by the elderly couple, who are both dollmakers. The mansion is filled with toys and dolls, but these soon prove to be anything but harmless.

 

Dolls is a horror film from 1987, directed by Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond, Castle Freak), written by Ed Naha, and produced by Charles Band and Brian Yuzna through Empire Pictures. The story was inspired by a book called The Uses of Enchantment, by Brunio Bettelheim. The film was shot in Italy at Empire Studios, prior to the director’s next film From Beyond. However, due to all the effects for the dolls that were added in post-production, the movie wasn’t released until almost a year later.

 

Now, what could possibly be the highlight in a movie from the 80’s titled Dolls? Take a wild guess. This was released before any Child Play‘s, and way before any Annabelle‘s. One could look at it as a little precursor to a certain film series involving puppets, though: the Puppet Master franchise, where the first movie was released in 1989. Because this movie, just like the Puppet Master films, uses a mix of stop motion animation, puppets and animatronics for the dolls by David W. Allen, who worked on special effects for numerous films and especially several Empire/Full Moon movies. He unfortunately died from cancer in 1999, and had been intermittently working on stop motion effects for a film called The Primevals, which was actually his own production, a true passion project of his. Despite seeming like what would be a lost project for so many years, The Primevals was actually completed and released in 2023.

 

There aren’t any big names on the cast list here, but the actors are a mix of people whom you may have seen in other movies and TV Series, so it’s far from being a no-name actors movie either. The one playing Isabel for example, is Bunty Bailey, who plays the girl in the famous music video for the Norwegian pop group A-Ha’s Take on Me from 1985. Dolls was her feature film debut. Their performances are solid enough for a movie like this, which is overall childishly cheesy and with that strange tone you mostly only find in movies made during the 80’s. It’s whimsical and slightly goofy, and the effects for the dolls and puppets are of course the raison d’être for the movie.

 

Despite being a pretty fun movie, Dolls wasn’t well received by the viewers, and the fans of Stuart Gordon in particular thought it was tame and lacking in gore compared to his previous works. Well…this one’s quite different for sure, where despite the little bit of gore there is it could have been a cute little horror movie for kids. It’s charming in its own way, and overall a fun little film where the baddies gets their comeuppance and the goodies can have their happily ever after.

 

Stuart Gordon was initially interested on making a sequel for the film, but that never came to be.

 

Dolls Dolls Dolls

 

Director: Stuart Gordon
Writer: Ed Naha
Country & year: USA/Italy, 1986
Actors: Ian Patrick Williams, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon, Carrie Lorraine, Guy Rolfe, Hilary Mason, Bunty Bailey, Cassie Stuart, Stephen Lee
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092906/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

Häxan (1922)

HäxanHäxan is the Swedish word for the witch, and this is a 1922 silent horror essay film which was written and directed by Benjamin Christensen. It’s partly documentary, and partly dramatized scenes, all about witches and witchcraft and superstitions beginning from the Middle Ages through the 20th century. The film was produced by AB Svensk Filmindustri, but it was shot in Denmark in 1920-1921. It was the most expensive silent film ever made in Scandinavia, costing almost 2 million SEK (Swedish Kronor). And it shows, with its detailed set pieces and recreation of medieval scenes, and of course its lengthy production period. It received fairly positive reception, but of course the censors in several countries (Germany, France and the US) found it to be too graphic with its depictions of torture, nudity, sexual perversion, and of course the worst of all: anti-clericalism. How dare they, those blasphemers! The movie didn’t avoid the censors in Sweden either, there were a bunch of Evil Ed‘s even in the 1920’s. Before the censors authorized its release, they required numerous cuts: the scene of a hanged man’s finger being removed, the trampling of the cross during a witch’s sabbath, and several others. Fortunately, all of these scenes have since been restored to the film.

 

In 1968, Metro Pictures Corporation re-edited and re-released the film in the US, giving it the title Witchcraft Through the Ages. This version includes an English-language narration by William S. Burroughs. It is today considered an old masterpiece with its combination of documentary-style and narrative storytelling, with some very inventive and great visuals. Many different techniques are used here, including some stop motion animation scenes, puppetry, reverse motion and other special effects and creative makeup. Most of the film was even shot at night, which was almost unheard of at the time, but the director wanted the actors to be influenced by as dark and ominous a setting as possible to enhance their performances. The director himself even performed as Satan in this movie, and he honestly looked like he had a blast doing so. One of the old ladies playing a persecuted witch was discovered by the director when she was selling flowers on a street corner in Denmark, and she claimed she was the first Red Cross nurse in the country. When filming one of her scenes, she once turned to him and said The Devil is real. I have seen him sitting at my bedside. The director was so struck by this that he decided to include that anecdote into the film itself.

 

One of the best things with Häxan, is how it manages to blend the dark themes of superstition and human nature, with some dark humor and of course the very striking visuals. Despite a somewhat humorous undertone, it’s all told with a focus on the dark subjects at hand. Witches were executed for simply being different, looking ugly, being poor, and all kinds of other completely unfounded reasons which could lead people to spiral a small rumor into a massive paranoia. The poor witches were often tortured to such an extent that they’d admit to anything just to make it stop. There are several scenes during a witch’s torture and execution that are, albeit not nearly as graphic as the torture-porn movies we are accustomed to these days, pretty unnerving stuff. Visually, Häxan is a treat with so many innovative special effects, makeup, costumes and whatnot. There’s witches, possessed nuns, torture scenes, grave robbing, a Satanic sabbath where the witches are trampling the cross and kissing the devil’s behind, and…oh my, no wonder it got whacked by the censors!

 

Häxan is without a doubt a film that was ahead of its time, with its libertarian undertones. And while the movie condemns the practices during the Middle Ages and how superstition makes people treat others horribly, the film also wraps it up excellently by pointing out the parallels to modern day (which, at the time, was the 1920’s of course). It is easy to sit and laugh at how people were afraid of witches and wanted to have them executed in hopes of protecting themselves from evil, but similar misconceptions, beliefs, practices and fears can make people treat others horribly even to this day, despite how much more enlightened we have become. They may have feared witches in the Middle Ages, but there will always be witches for each era we live in, someone to place blame and hatred towards. This is something that will never get better, because humans will always be filled with fear, and too many of us need something to pin those fears on, despite how unfounded they may be.

 

Häxan Häxan

 

 

Writers and director: Benjamin Christensen
Country & year: Sweden/Denmark, 1922
Also known as: Witchcraft Through the Ages
Actors: Maren Pedersen, Clara Pontoppidan, Elith Pio, Oscar Stribolt, Tora Teje, John Andersen, Benjamin Christensen, Poul Reumert, Karen Winther, Kate Fabian, Else Vermehren, Astrid Holm
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0013257/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

THE SCARECROW – Horror Short

While decorating for Halloween, a couple is haunted by a scarecrow.

 

This is the last Horror Short Sunday before the best day of the year: Halloween! Which is on Thursday next week. Today we’re taking a look at The Scarecrow, where it’s Halloween and a creepy scarecrow is up to no good…

 

THE SCARECROW - Horror Short

 

Director: Alex Magaña
Writer: Alex Magaña
Country & year: USA, 2024
Actors: Bella Hamm, Calvin Naraghi, Steffon Palmer
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt34080977/

 

 

 

 

Dr. Giggles (1992)

Dr. Giggles If you think that’s bad, wait until you get my bill.

 

Evan Rendell (Larry Drake) is a mentally deranged man who manages to escape the mental asylum (a time when mental asylums still existed) and return to his abandoned little rundown mansion on the outskirts of the small town of Moorehigh. We learn that Rendell is the son of the town’s previous doctor, and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. His father did some pretty shady things to his patients, such as stealing their hearts and such, for reasons I won’t spoil, because there’s actually a fun little twist to the whole thing. But his approach to his patients with zero empathy, sure had its impact on Rendell Jr’s frontal lobe. So in order to continue his father’s legacy, he gets a list of names so he can sneak into the townsfolk’s homes at night to pay them an unexpected doctor visit. Dad would be proud.

 

And here’s the big question; why the nickname Dr. Giggles? That’s because he giggles in a demented high-pitched note, as if someone tickles his ballsack with the tip of a feather – or getting an unexpected blowjob while standing on a podium, if you take the reference. It’s a pretty distinct kind of giggle that I believe that only Larry Drake could pull off. While it’s pretty gimmicky and goofy at times, it puts an extra flair on his twisted personality, and adds more creep factor to his stone-cold Slavic-like face. The film itself isn’t creepy for one second though, but Larry Drake makes up for an oddly entertaining villain with some cheesy one-liners. He’s maybe best known for being the antagonist, Duran, in the first two Darkman films.

 

But there’s no slasher without a big group of teens, some meat balloons, or at least a final girl. And since it happens to be the start of the summer break, the timing of Dr. Giggles return couldn’t be more perfect. Here we follow the 19-year-old main protagonist, Jennifer Campbell. She has a serious heart condition that prevents her from living out her final year as a teen to the fullest. Well, thank God that Dr. Giggles is finally in town, which she eventually will get the un-pleasure to meet. Jennifer is played by the Charmed star Holly Marie Combs, who actually was 19 during the filming, and not a 27-year-old pretending to be 19. That’s rare, as most of the teens in slashers, especially from the 1980s, look like they’re in their late 30s. Jennifer Aniston auditioned for the role as the final girl, but luckily she didn’t have to wait for long to make her big film debut in Leprechaun. Let’s have a long, sarcastic giggle for that one.

 

Although Dr. Giggles was released in 1992, it has the vibe and the standard formula of a 80s slasher. Thus, the film did not perform at the box office as the slasher genre had gone into hiatus with a severe hangover alongside with the hair metal bands. That’s a shame as there could be a fun franchise to develop here. Oh, well. Dr. Giggles is an enjoyable little slasher flick with some great gore, silly humor – and bonkers performance by, again, Larry Drake, who alone makes the film a standout. And while we’re speaking about doctors, also give The Dentist a visit for a check-up, because health is important, you know…

 

Dr. Giggles is available on Blu-ray from Shout! Factory and is maybe to be found on Tubi.

 

Dr. Giggles Dr. Giggles Dr. Giggles

 

Director: Manny Coto
Writers: Manny Coto, Graeme Whifler
Country & year: USA, 1992
Actors: Larry Drake, Holly Marie Combs, Cliff De Young, Glenn Quinn, Keith Diamond, Richard Bradford, Michelle Johnson, John Vickery, Nancy Fish, Sara Melson, Zoe Trilling
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104139/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Killer Klowns from Outer SpaceMike Tobacco and his girlfriend Debbie Stone have gone to the local lover’s lane to make out. Suddenly, they spot a strange glowing object falling down from the sky. They’re not the only ones who saw that, as the farmer Gene Green decides to find the impact site as he believes it to be Halley’s Comet. Well, he finds something quite different. A large circus tent has been raised in the place where the comet landed, and the poor farmer and his dog are captured by aliens looking like clowns. What they are? Killer Klowns, of course! Mike and Debbie arrive at the place and decide to enter the strange-looking circus, and find themselves in a bizarre place with an interior that resembles a spaceship. They’re discovered, and after being able to flee they try reporting the incident to the local police station. A large circus in the forest, and alien clowns from outer space? Yeah, that’s believable of course. Or not. But even the police must realize that something funny is happening around here, when the Klowns begin attacking the townspeople. Why they’re attacking people? Because they’re hungry! And the people they capture are encased in large cotton-candy cocoons, where they drink the mushed-up fluids from inside in true spider-style (well, not exactly, they use drinking straws). Mike and Debbie know they must defeat the Klowns, but how? The answer is simple, of course: you need to shoot them in their red nose!

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a colorful sci-fi horror comedy from 1988, written and directed by the Chiodo Brothers. They also made the practical effects and makeup for the movie, much of it also carried out by other artists. Thus, there’s a ton of practical effects, rubber suits and masks. It was filmed in Watsonville, California and at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, and have pretty much been considered a cult classic for quite some time. There’s been talk of sequels, but they’ve been in development hell since the original film’s release. If there should ever be some kind of sequel, though, then at least it would be one people have wanted for some time, just like the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice movie.

 

Just looking at the title, the description, and the images of the Killer Klowns themselves, you can’t blame anyone but yourself if you watch this and expect something different than what it is. It’s pure childish, silly nonsense. Originally, the film was supposed to just be called Killer Klowns, but in order to prevent people from assuming it was a simple slasher film, they added the from Outer Space just to let people know what they were in for. Good choice. It’s obviously both a parody and a homage to the 50’s and early 60’s sci-fi classics about alien and monster invasions.

 

The special effects are the movie’s most admirable part, where the Killer Klown costumes look pretty darn good. The acting is, well, very typical B-movie fare, which suits a film like this perfectly. And as you might expect, this being alien clowns and all, there’s gags aplenty and a lot of wild stupidity with popcorn-guns, shadow puppets eating people, and a lot of other loony stuff. While it’s hard to imagine anyone finding any moments in this movie to be scary in any way, the cotton-candy cocoons with melted human bodies inside is a little bit nasty. And yeah, there is a bit of gore here but there’s nothing really over the top. The film also has a pretty cool and campy theme song called Killer Klowns, performed by the pop/punk band The Dickies. Ah, theme songs! Those were the days.

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is just as deranged, absurd, childish and sickly sweet as you can imagine. You can almost feel a sugar-overdose after watching it, despite not having eaten any candy or ice cream at all. And in space no one can eat ice cream, or so the film’s slogan says. It’s had several DVD and Blu-ray releases over the years, and can be seen on several streaming sites.

 

Killer Klowns from Outer Space Killer Klowns from Outer Space Killer Klowns from Outer Space

 

Director: Stephen Chiodo
Writer: Charles Chiodo, Stephen Chiodo, Edward Chiodo
Country & year: USA, 1988
Actors: Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, John Allen Nelson, John Vernon, Michael S. Siegel, Peter Licassi, Royal Dano, Christopher Titus, Irene Michaels, Irene Michaels, Karla Sue Krull
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095444/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

House III: The Horror Show (1989)

House III: The Horror ShowHouse III, aka The Horror Show, aka House III: The Horror Show has nothing to do with the House franchise. So what the hell is this supposed to be? Well, it’s a horror movie, I can say that. And like the second film, the house from Psycho is also displayed on the DVD cover, just to make you even more confused. This was actually also the official theatrical release poster. Now it just starts to look like a parody of the Italian films that capitalized on cheap, faux sequels. But the story behind this messy production is a tale of itself, which I’ll come back to.

 

In this relative faux sequel, we’re in a far more gritty, urban surroundings that center around the detective Lucas McCarthy (Lance Henriksen). He and his partner are on the huntdown of the deranged serial killer Max Jenke (Brion James). He goes by the nickname Meat Cleaver Max and he has body counted the city for too long. The party’s over when he gets captured and thrown in the electric chair and fried to the nether. And as Lucas has dedicated too much time and mental health to this homicidal clown, he can now at least take a deep breath, relax and maybe spend some more time with his family. Dream on, pal, because the horror show is far from over.

 

Because you see, Mr. Meat Cleaver comes back as a trickster demon with a mix of Beetlejuice and Freddy Krueger to fuck so much with his head to the point that the line between reality and not becomes a big fat blur. And since Lance Henriksen is a top tier working actor who can say a thousand words just with his facial expressions alone, it’s hard not to believe all the fucked-up visions he starts to see while he tries his very best to be in the moment with the family. He already struggles with PTSD and nightmares where our killer chops the head off a young girl, which he blames himself for. Now it’s up to Lucas to call a ghostbuster and chase down the ghost of Mr. Meat Cleaver, before he goes totally insane and loses both his mind and his family.

 

The strongest cards here are Lance Henriksen and Brion James. They’re both very intense and intimidating actors who are like thunder and lightning on screen, and give their 100%. Brion James is maybe not the most familiar name, but you certainly know his face. A great, charismatic character actor who died way too early at the age of 54 of a heart attack. RIP. There’s also some fun, practical effects here which gives some Elm Street vibes, that also the DVD covers refer to and actually got right. An overall entertaining supernatural slasher worth watching with a strong beer and fresh-made popcorn. Just make sure to pick up the Blu-ray from Arrow Videos for the complete uncut version.

 

So, House III/The Horror Show is far from the shitshow you’d expect considering the circumstances – especially when one of the screenwriters is credited as the legendary, the one and only Alan Smithee himself. The film manages to stand on its own feet for what it is. So what did actually go so horribly wrong here, apart from the fake, clickbait title? The film was originally going to be a third entry in the House franchise, but when a new distributor came on board (MGM) they wanted to go for another approach with killer Max, where they saw a new potential iconic villain like Freddy Krueger. Yeah, you don’t say. They were maybe into something here though, as this was Brion Jame’s favorite acting gig of all the 178 films he starred in. That never happened, of course.

 

Director David Blyth (Death Warmed Up) from New Zealand was fired a short time after the production started and was replaced with newcomer James Isaac. And again, despite the circumstances, he does a decent job, I would say. He also made the schlock classic Jason X (2002) and a couple of other obscure horror films before he died of blood cancer at age 51. RIP. The script was changed to the point that the original screenwriter, Allyn Warner, had no interest in being associated with the film, and thus painted himself behind the notorious Allan Smithee pseudonym. And since both Allan and Allyn sounded too similar, and Alan was at that time apparently written with two L’s, he was credited with one L. Just in case.

 

The film was released as The Horror Show in America, and as House III in other countries. And of course, it was a flop, despite having the same modest budget, of 3 million dollars, as the previous two films. House III/The Horror Show followed up with House IV in 1992, a direct-to-video sequel to the first film. I’ve yet to see that one, so maybe another time.

 

House III: The Horror Show House III: The Horror Show House III: The Horror Show

 

Director: James Isaac
Writers: Allyn Warner (as Alan Smithee), Leslie Bohem
Country & year: USA, 1987
Actors: Lance Henriksen, Brion James, Rita Taggart, Dedee Pfeiffer, Aron Eisenberg, Thom Bray, Matt Clark, David Oliver, Lewis Arquette, Terry Alexander, Armand Asselin
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097527/

 

Prequels:
House II: The Second Story (1987)
House (1985)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

House II: The Second Story (1987)

House II: The Second StoryIn this odd little sequel we meet the young couple, Jesse and Kate, who move into an old mansion, which is not the same house we saw in the first film, just to point that out. The house has been a multigenerational home for Jesse’s bloodline, and I can bet I’ve seen the exteriors of that building in numerous movies, without being able to mention a single one. Anyway – Jesse’s parents were murdered when he was a kid, and after some exploring they find an old picture of his great-great-grandfather where he’s holding a crystal skull while standing in front of an old temple. OK, he was the real Indiana Jones. C o o l.

 

And things slide straight into weird land when Jesse and his best friend Charlie decide to…uhm…dig up his dusty corpse to get the crystal skull. Because why not. After some digging, they get met with a skeletal zombie simply credited as Gramps, but no need to worry, cuz he’s friendly, even though they tried to steal the crystal skull from him. Whatever, because nothing here makes any sense either way. Now that he’s been resurrected, barely, he joins the life of Jesse and Charlie and lives in the house’s basement.

 

And… lives go on, until things get even weirder. Because we also need a kind of a villain shoe-horned in here, and Gramps has a nemesis from the old west who also wants to claim this crystal skull. And now that the house has opened several portals to alternative dimensions, it’s a matter of time before our villain finds his way inside the house.

 

House II: The Second (NeverEnding) Story is a cluttered mess overstuffed with camp, molded cheese and zero logic. The most noteworthy is the horror elements that are mostly wiped out. We have two half-rotted skeletons, one friendly and the other not so much with his skeleton horse, and that’s pretty much as far as the horror goes. The first one also had its overtly goofy aspects, but here it goes overboard with childish acting, a series of nonsensical scenes just thrown at each other. Several sets and scenes also gave me some Full Moon/Empire vibes, which is not a bad thing. And then we have some innocent, cute-looking claymation puppets, one of which looks too alike the Luck Dragon from The NeverEnding Story (1984). The only link this sequel has to the original is a house that has portals to other dimensions.

 

And what is up with the old DVDs that display the house from Psycho on the covers? And if my ghoulish little brain isn’t already confused, the cover says Endelig uklippet!which is Norwegian for The uncut version!. Huh, yeah right. I assume they misunderstood this for being House III: The Horror Show, which ironically didn’t get a fully uncut release until 2017.

 

House II is overall a fun, charming little whimsical 80s cheese flick most suitable for the youngest audiences. Very light-hearted, oddly entertaining, and family-friendly that could easily be aired on Disney Channel alongside with Mr. Boogedy. The polar opposite could be said about the unofficial sequel that is the aforementioned House III: The Horror Show. Because when that film starts rolling, it’s time to get the kids in bed.

 

House II: The Second Story House II: The Second Story House II: The Second Story

 

Writer and director: Ethan Wiley
Country & year: USA, 1987
Actors: Arye Gross, Jonathan Stark, Royal Dano, Bill Maher, John Ratzenberger, Lar Park-Lincoln, Amy Yasbeck, Gregory Walcott, Dwier Brown, Lenora May
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093220/

 

Prequel:
House (1985)

Sequel:
House III: The Horror Show (1989)

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

House (1985)

HouseRoger Cobb is an author who has just inherited his deceased aunt’s house. The same house where his only son Jimmy once disappeared without a trace, and where his aunt died by hanging herself. Nice. Must be a place full of wonderful memories. Aside from also being separated from his wife, his publisher keeps pressing him to write another book, and he plans to write a novel based on his experiences in the Vietnam war in the hopes of using this experience to deal with some of the trauma. He decides to live in his aunt’s house in order to start working on said novel. Soon after moving in, he begins having nightmares about his dead comrade from the war, and strange phenomena occur in the house. He also starts having flashbacks of Jimmy’s disappearance, where he saw something pulling him down the swimming pool. His late aunt claimed that it was the house itself that took him, which does sound preposterous, but being inside that house now and experiencing all these strange things, Roger is not so sure his old aunt wasn’t right after all.

 

House is a comedy horror film from 1985, directed by Steve Miner with screenplay by Ethan Wiley, based on an original story written by Fred Dekker. The film is produced by Sean S. Cunningham (the man behind the original Friday the 13th) and is the first in the House film series. The exterior shooting was done at an estate now known as Mills View, a Victorian style home built in 1887. At the time, the house was owned by two Los Angeles firemen. The production designer and crew spent about four weeks on modifying the manor, where they repainted the entire exterior, set up a wrought iron fence, and attached foam spires to the roof. Seven monsters were designed for the film, including a zombie, demonic kids, a flying skull-faced monster and all kinds of ghoulish creatures. Both puppetry and animatronics were used in the film, and also some stop-motion and the good old actors in rubber suits.

 

This movie is from the 80s, and like so many films from this decade, it’s filled with the most delicious-tasting cheese. The tone is for the most part quite jovial and lighthearted, where our protagonist gets haunted by all kinds of strange monsters popping out from here and there. It’s kind of a goofy mess, but never gets boring. The monsters in the movie are definitely the highlight, with some really inventive ideas. While it does go for a darker approach with the zombiefied version of Roger’s former Vietnam war buddy, it also goes totally bonkers with a funny ghoulish monster-version of his ex-wife. Too bad the crazy creatures didn’t give us some gory death scenes, as the film is a lot more closer to a family-friendly approach than a full-out horror one.

 

House is definitely a cheesy and fun horror comedy movie, which spun two sequels that doesn’t really have jack shit to do with each other. So in that regard, they’re not movies you have to watch in sequence, as they are actually quite dissimilar. This one is perfect if you want some mindless old-school fun with a typical 80’s charm.

 

House House

 

Director: Steve Miner
Writers: Fred Dekker, Ethan Wiley
Country & year: USA, 1985
Actors: William Katt, George Wendt, Richard Moll, Kay Lenz, Mary Stavin, Michael Ensign, Erik Silver, Mark Silver, Susan French, Alan Autry, Steven Williams, James Calvert, Mindy Sterling
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091223/

 

Sequels:
House II: The Second Story (1987)
House III: The Horror Show (1989)

 

Vanja Ghoul