The Hidden (1987)

The Hidden

It’s apparently a regular sunny day in Los Angeles, where the random middle-aged guy Jack DeVries (Chris Mulkey) brutally robs a bank and storms off in a black Ferrari. He drives in full speed like a madman through the famous Echo Park, hits an old geezer in a wheelchair while he headbangs to some hair metal on the radio, and goes pretty much into full GTA-mode. His crazy adventure is quickly going towards an end when the police blocks the road, blows his car to flames, and… the guy walks out of the burning car and gets bullet-stormed by the police. He miraculously survives and…Nothing to see here, folks, move along. He gets brought to the hospital while the police scratch their heads and struggle to come to a conclusion as to why this man, with no criminal record, suddenly snapped…and how the hell he’s still alive. On top of that, he had during the last two weeks killed twelve people, stolen six sport cars, robbed eight banks and six supermarkets, four jewelry stores and one candy store. He even murdered two kids with a butcher knife. Good Lord…

 

DeVries wakes up in the hospital, gets out off the bed and approaches the unconscious patient next to him where he spews out a slimy parasite-like creature into his mouth so he can transfer to another body and continue the killing spree journey of looting and mayhem. The police officer Tom Beck (Michael Nouri) teams up with the FBI agent Lloyd Gallager (Kyle MacLachlan) to get to the bottom of this what-the-holy-fuck case that quickly gets weirder and weirder.

 

The Hidden is really what you could call a hidden gem, and it’s pure fun from start to finish. Director Jack Sholder is probably most known for Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge and the hilarious Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies, and even though The Hidden is more action driven with elements of dark comedy, drama, and a dose of 80s political incorrectness, he does a great job stitching it together to a fast-paced and highly entertaining B-movie. With a budget of five million dollars, which is basically nothing in today’s standard, there’s many well-crafted scenes with some wild car chases, gunfights, explosions, and of course a parasite-possessed stripper going berserk while fucking a guy to death in his car. While I wish we could see more of the alien itself, our partners Lloyd and Tom makes up for it with some great and somewhat bizarre buddy-cop dynamics, which manages to drive the quite simple plot fast and steady (or furious, if you will.) It’s also worth to mention that Kyle MacLachlan brought a lot of the character in The Hidden over to his most known role in Twin Peaks as Agent Cooper three years later, and the similarities are quite striking.

 

And yeah, a direct-to-video sequel was made in ’93, and it looks like… well, see for yourself.

 

The Hidden

 

Director: Jack Sholder
Country & year: USA, 1987
Actors: Kyle MacLachlan, Michael Nouri, Claudia Christian, Clarence Felder, Clu Gulager, Ed O’Ross, William Boyett, Richard Brooks, Larry Cedar, Katherine Cannon, John McCann, Chris Mulkey, Lin Shaye, James Luisi, Frank Renzulli
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0093185/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WILD – Dutch Horror Short

Following a young family as they travel to the idyllic Dutch countryside for a quiet weekend away, when they arrive at their picturesque destination it soon becomes apparent that there’s more to this place and its creepy inhabitants than meets the eye. The locals aren’t the only ones acting strangely however…

 

Wild is a horror short that gives us beautiful scenery, a build of tension, and a… tasty ending!

 

WILD - Dutch Horror Short

 

Director: Jan Verdijk
Country & year: Netherlands, 2018
Actors: Wouter Hendrickx, Hannah van Lunteren, Jago Hensema, Jochum ten Haaf, Jan ten Haaf
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt10218886/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Girl on the Third FloorDonald Koch (aka Don) and his pregnant wife Liz has decided to buy a fixer-upper in the suburbs. Believing this will be a perfect place to raise a family, Don takes his dog Cooper with him and starts renovating their new home while Liz stays back in Chicago. As the renovation work brings a few unpleasant surprises, it becomes evident that there’s something not quite right with the house…and when a sexy young woman called Sarah appears on the property, acting all seductive and insistent, Don gets more than a handful of problems to handle.

 

Let me start by saying this: The Girl on the Third Floor is a movie that is most definitely not for everyone. While starting off with what could be interpreted as a typical haunted house story, it adds a few elements of its own that is apparently a bit…off-putting for some people. Already from the start, we see goo on the floor and around the house (which obviously is bodily fluids). It’s dripping out of electrical sockets and down from walls, while we listen to strange moaning sounds. And we get to know what all of this represents: as Don works on the renovations and gets into a conversation with a neighbor, he finds out that the house was once a brothel. While I have seen many twists on houses that partly becomes alive in some ways during a haunting, I have never seen one where a house is having an orgasm. So, uhm…that’s a new one. (And I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s actually a fetish for that kind of thing).

 

The story starts with a familiar construction: a couple trying to get a new life, by moving to a new location and buy themselves a fixer-upper. In this case, Don’s infidelity is what’s caused a severe strain on the relationship, and this is supposed to be their second chance. Don is quickly tempted back to his old ways when Sarah appears, and needless to say…he is giving in pretty easily to his temptations. Seductive and tempting as she may be, this makes it a bit hard to sympathize much with Don.

 

Some of the things that happens throughout Don’s attempts at renovating the house is of the typical “haunted house” bits and bobs, but there are some pretty clever ideas here and there. Especially the ghost who is the girl on the third floor, who appears with a mangled face and some kind of bondage-harness wrapped around her body. While she isn’t the only ghost there, her background story is what mostly fuels the darkness behind the house: the brothel was used by people who had dark urges, and little to no respect towards the women who worked there, often abusing them and even causing their deaths. This part feels a little unexplored, however, and what actually happened to the girl on the third floor and the other girls is mostly hinted at…although I guess this can leave more to the imagination. We know that the girl on the third floor was abused and killed, and her ghostly appearance very clearly shows us the after-effects of what she went through. Overall, The Girl on the Third Floor never manages to be scary, but it does have a fair bit of atmosphere, and pleasant visuals.

 

Fun fact: the movie was filmed in a real house, that underwent renovations during the time (but it was held off until the filming was completed). And this house was already rumored to be haunted.

 

Girl on the Third Floor

 

Director: Travis Stevens
Country & year: USA, 2019
Actors: C.M. Punk, Trieste Kelly Dunn, Sarah Brooks, Elissa Dowling, Karen Woditsch, Travis Delgado, Marshall Bean, Anish Jethmalani, Bishop Stevens, Tonya Kay, Eileah Pyrzynski
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt9026184/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

CHARLIE BOY – Horror Short

A short psychological horror about an elderly lady named Dolly suffering from a condition called Charles Bonnet Syndrome, a condition which causes it’s sufferers to experience hallucinations as their eyesight deteriorates. Unable to trust her eyesight, Dolly must decipher if what she is seeing is real, and if it poses a threat.

 

Charlie Boy is a good horror short that’s both creepy and a little sad…

 

CHARLIE BOY - Horror Short

 

Director: Matt Sears
Country & year: UK, 2016
Actors: Beatrice Howard, Mick White, Ethan Le Tocq
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt7368092/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Robert (2015)

Robert

Before Annabelle, there was … Robert!

 

And yes, we’re talking about a real doll that is (allegedly) cursed. We’re going way back to 1906 where a young boy named Robert Eugene Otto was given a cursed doll by an Bahamian servant as a birthday gift. The rumors say that she was treated badly by the Otto family, and hoped that the doll would give them misfortunes. And the story is pretty much a nothing-burger from there on. Robert got married in 1930 in France, and moved back to his childhood home in the United States with his wife where they spent the rest of their lives. Robert died in 1974 and his wife two years later. Two decades later, the doll was donated to a museum in Florida where it’s been ever since. And the legend says that he’s still cursed and causes things like car accidents, broken bones, job loss, divorce and of course mass shootings (just kidding).

 

In this film, very loosely inspired by Robert the doll, we meet the privileged rich couple Paul and Jenny, and their 12-year-old son Gene. They live in a nice house, with nothing much to complain about. While Paul works in the justice system, Jenny is a depressed, nagging, demanding, sour, pathetic bitch of a woman with a really irritating voice, and is a completely unlikeable person from the start. Nothing is good enough for her, and she sacks the housekeeper Agatha for being a little forgetful. In order to get revenge, she picks up a doll hidden in the attic that the previous homeowners left behind, and gives it as a farewell gift to their son. Robert the doll looks of course completely different in reality, and here he looks more or less like Annabelle with short hair. And as mentioned, Robert is cursed and kills people who don’t respect him, such as pushing people down the stairs and attacking with a baseball bat. We could only hope that the doll wipes out Jenny first, but we’re not so lucky.

 

Gene quickly becomes friends with Robert, who starts talking to him. His mother wakes up to strange noises at night, finds things broken on the floor, and of course suspects Gene. We see some POV shots of Robert as he lurks around the house, writes “Die” on the mirrors with lipstick, and sabotages one of Jenny’s paintings. Sounds like some decent ideas for some suspenseful scenes, but it looks more like a cheap student film made for YouTube. It tries to be a serious horror film just like a mouse trying to be an elephant.

 

There is zero chemistry between the actors, with personalities like a grey rock, and it is impossible to buy Paul and Jenny as a married couple and feel any underlying danger and tension. It’s complete flat-line where one hopes that Robert kills the whole family after the first ten minutes, just to pull the plug and be done with it. The kid who plays their son Gene is possibly the worst child actor I’ve ever seen. Most of the film is painfully slow with lazy and uninspired directing, wooden acting, and the  few murder scenes are just ridiculous and goofy which gives no other impact than some great laughs. The ending is especially hilarious. So even though Robert is mainly a bore-fest, it’s a perfect film to tear to shreds and a good showcase on how not to make a movie in general.

 

And  there’s actually four sequels, believe it or not: The Curse of Robert , The Toymaker , The Legend of Robert the Doll and Robert Reborn.

 

Robert

 

Director: Andrew Jones
Country & year: UK, 2015
Actors: Suzie Frances Garton, Lee Bane, Flynn Allen, Judith Haley, Cyd Casados, Samuel Hutchison, Megan Lockhurst, Annie Davies, Ryan Michaels
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt4141368/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SUSPENSE – Horror Short Film

Having survived a harrowing plane crash, an army pilot finds himself suspended from a canopy of trees high above the forest floor by his parachute. After making contact with his co-pilot on the ground, they realize that something is stalking them in the dark.

 

Suspense is truly a suspenseful little ride, with some nice creature feature elements!

 

SUSPENSE - Horror Short Film

 

Director: Ben Burghart, Jacob Burghart
Country & year: USA, 2020
Actors: Jelani Talib, Robert Coppage
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt13123108/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rent-A-Pal (2020)

Rent-A-PalDavid is a 40 year old single man who has dedicated his life to take care of his mother, who is suffering from dementia. Since we’re in the 90’s, there’s no internet dating services or other easy ways of getting to know someone, so in a desperate attempt to find someone he can share his life with, he signs up on Video Rendezvous, a video dating service (yes, this was a real thing back then). After failed attempts and little response, he one day comes over a VHS tape with the curious title Rent-A-Pal. Deciding to try it out, he brings it back home with him and meets his new friend Andy, who is sitting in a chair and pretending to have a real conversation with whoever is playing the VHS. Finding it awkward at first and struggling to make proper replies to Andy’s lines, he soon becomes accustomed to the conversations, and to David it feels like an actual friendship. Except, it’s just a simple VHS tape…or is it?

 

Rent-A-Pal is a well crafted psychological thriller, which gets pretty dark and depressing at times. Set in the 90’s, it does a very good job on recreating the era and makes it feel genuine. The portrayal of David and his dementia-suffering mother is both realistic and sad, without being dramatically overdone. It’s like seeing small glimpses of what an everyday life can be when taking care of someone with a condition like that. It is also interesting how the movie initially portrays David as a pretty nice guy, not the clichéd “loser” type or some new Norman Bates. He is genuinely caring and kind, and in one of his video dating performances he actually gives a really good and sympathetic speech about himself and his life, and how he takes care of his mother. However, the video dating service’s cameraman asks him to cut it down and have a re-take, so the end result ends up making him look like a total write-off instead. You can’t help but feeling sorry for the guy…

 

When the Rent-A-Pal tape starts playing, you don’t really know what to expect, but it feels somewhat creepy and uncanny. There’s nothing explicitly wrong with it, it’s just a normal-looking guy sitting in a chair, pretending to be the viewer’s “friend”, asking questions and delivering simple statements and jokes. And David becomes more and more obsessed with watching the video. Andy, despite being pre-recorded, gives him exactly what he needs: someone who seems to care, someone he can talk to, someone who listens. So, it’s not real…but for David it starts feeling real, and he starts rewinding the tape to certain parts that fits with what he wants to tell Andy, and what he wants him to say. Well…we can all see a few red flags here already, right?

 

Despite David’s increased obsession with the VHS tape, there are a few instances where something feels a bit off…and Andy’s lines become a bit strange. Andy’s effect on David becomes more and more apparent, and it’s not a good one…so when David finally has a chance of going on a date with a girl who even appears to be perfect for him, Andy’s influence actually makes it harder for him to get what he initially wanted: a girlfriend. Whatever black hole of loneliness that originally filled David’s heart, it has now been filled with Andy’s toxic influence. And it makes it even harder for David to live the life he wished for. While this being a 90’s centered movie, I guess you could easily draw some parallels to all kinds of negative internet influences. People who find themselves in a bad place (whether it be because of loneliness, depression, feeling of exclusion, or other things), might find a connection with someone or something online which gives them a feeling of belonging, but eventually just ends up destroying their every chance of living the life they hoped for as they sink further and further into a harmful rabbithole. And maybe that was the intention of Andy (and all “Andy’s) all along…

 

Driven by strong performances, Rent-A-Pal is a strange and dark journey, where you always keep wondering what’s going to happen next and where it’s all going to lead.

 

Rent-A-Pal

 

Directors: Jon Stevenson
Country & year: USA, 2020
Actors: Wil Wheaton, Brian Landis Folkins, Amy Rutledge, Kathleen Brady, Adrian Egolf, Josh Staab, Luke Sorge, Olivia Hendrickm, Karin Carr, Sara Woodyard, Brandon Fryman
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt12274228/

 

 

Vanja Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IN A FOREIGN TOWN – Horror Short

Based on the stories of acclaimed horror author, Thomas Ligotti. A troubled man recounts a strange childhood journey to a town with no name.

 

In a Foreign Town gives us an atmospheric and creepy little story about a man troubled by a memory from his youth, one that has haunted him ever since…

 

IN A FOREIGN TOWN - Horror Short

 

Director: Michael Shlain
Country & year: USA, 2018
Actors: Yuri Lowenthal, Tony Amendola, Strange Dave, Jack McGraw, David Rees Snell, Adam Tomei
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt8717066/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grotesk (2015)

GroteskWe’re told that a radioactive slime from the moon has found its way to Earth from a space shuttle that plunges into the sea near the coast of Denmark, and infects humans and turn them into murderous mutants. One of them, with a head that looks like a rotten potato, brutally kills a random couple who are having a picnic by the beach. And after this quick opening, we have basically seen the whole movie in a nutshell which oozes of zero budget and amateur hour all the way. We then get introduced to some guy who is on his way to a campsite near the radioactive area where he has rented a trailer for the summer. We can assume that this is the film’s protagonist, but he’s more like another random dude who likes to sniff at women’s panties while jerking off. And … uhm, well…

 

… what more should one really say when there’s basically no plot to summarize. “Denmark’s answer to Plan 9 From Outer Space” it says on the DVD cover. It’s more like Bad Taste meets Violent Shit in a septic tank.

 

The film looks like pure shit, like as if the camera lens was rubbed with a layer of piss and puke before every shot, just to make the visuals as ugly as possible. I can assume that the green filter, or whatever it is, is supposed to illustrate the toxic radioactivity, but it doesn’t take long before it hurts your eyes. Don’t watch this on a big screen, just trust me on that one. We also get some goofy out-of-sync dubbing, Zombie ’90-style, and amateur actors from the bottom of the barrel who probably haven’t been in front of a camera before or since Grotesk. The effects are cheap and cheesy, the micro-budget standard one would expect. Then we have one of the movie props, which is supposed to be some kind of tracking device from the military, which is made out of a cardboard box. Yeah, really. It’s so retarded to the point that you get the impression that the film was either made bad intentionally, or by some twelve-year olds with their dads, moms and creepy uncles in the roles, but I’m not so sure.

 

And what else..? Not much, and I think you know by now exactly if this is your thing or not. But with the short running time of approx. 1 hour, it’s a cheesy fun-bad movie that doesn’t require too much of your time (or your brain cells). You can find the DVD from Another World Entertainment after a quick search on eBay.

 

Grotesk

 

Director: Peter J. Bonneman
Country & year: Denmark, 2015
Actors: Heine Sørensen, Jørgen Gjerstrup, Mai Sydendahl, Jack Jensen, Justin Metzger, Mai Edelgaard, Rune Jacobsen, Kim Kofod, Rune Dybdahl, Frederik Tolstrup, Jens Kofoed, Natasha Joubert
IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4418130/

 

 

Tom Ghoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE CUNNING MAN – Horror Short

A lonely man on a farm collects the corpses of dead animals, find out his shocking intentions in this fantasy short inspired by the tales of real-life physician John Harries (1785 – 1839), a ‘Cunning Man’ notorious for using folklore magic.

 

The Cunning Man is a nice little horror short about a “cunning man” (a cunning man or woman are practitioners of folk medicine and folk magic).

 

THE CUNNING MAN - Horror Short

 

Director: Zoe Dobson
Country & year: UK, 2019
Actors: Simon Armstrong, Ali Cook, Ian Kelly, Charlotte Jo Hanbury
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt10280634/