A husband’s attempt to keep his sleepwalking wife from injuring herself descends into chaos as he discovers she may be in the grips of mind control.
Sleepwalker is a weird, nightmarish horror short about a man who keeps watch over his sleepwalking wife.
Director: Nathan Alan Bunker
Country & year: USA, 2022
Actors: David Sullivan, Haley Webb, Robert Michael Ryan
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt11057180/
What does Jason, Pinhead, Leprechaun and Dracula have in common? They’ve been into space. And this has to be the worst of them all. Good grief.
We’re in the year 3000 and get introduced to Captain Abraham Van Helsing (Casper Van Dien) and his small crew on a salvage space ship, looking for a large cargo ship named Dieter that has been missing for fifty years in the Carpathian Galaxy. And yes, we’re talking about the outer space. They find the ship while it’s heading towards Earth, completely empty for crew, and they decide to take possession of all the valuable stuff. They soon learn that some spooky shit has been going on when they find the only dried-up corpse left on the ship’s bridge, tied up with a crucifix in its hands. And oh man, this is unbelievably bad: it looks like they just bought the cheapest Halloween skeleton they could find and dressed it up, and God knows what went through the actors’ heads when they had to act serious when they saw it. They find a video log from fifty years ago, of a frightened Captain Varna (Udo Kier) who says that he locked himself in his cabin after some pandemic infected the crew after they cargoed a bunch of coffins in the Transilvanian station. And you can never guess who’s lurking among them on the ship: It’s the new variant Nekronomicron! Just kidding. It’s Dracula. Of course.
The first crewmember to get bit is 187. That’s not his IQ, it’s his name. He’s a goofy, stereotypical manic crack smoker and is played by none other than the 90s rapper star Coolio. And as ridiculous as he is with his hysterical overacting, at least he seems to have some fun playing a vampire from Da Hood while flashing his fangs as much as possible. The B-movie actor Casper Van Dien, known from Starship Troopers and a laundry list of straight-to-videos, seems to really have a hard time keeping himself awake as he yawns out most of his dialogues like he couldn’t give a single fuck about anything other than his paycheck. And who can blame him when you have to read lines like this while doing your best to keep a straight face:
– Transilvania? What the fuck is Transilvania?
– Transilvania is a planet in the remote Carpathian System. It’s a.. uhm.. it’s a planet of vampires!
– Vampire?? So what the hell is a vampire?
– It’s sorta like a man … only far more evil, if you could imagine that.
– All that bloodsuckin’, that’s some white people shit!
– I want to watch my anaconda spit all over your snow white ass.
And we have classic lines such as:
– I put up for your shit cuz you’re black and… ugly.
– I have to go to the bathroom! I really do!
– I… AM A VAMPAIAHH!!!
– Dude!
– Bro!
Captain Van Helsing also learns that he is related to a certain another Van Helsing from the late 1800s, and that Dracula is on his way to Earth to seek revenge. And prepare yourself for the most pathetic Dracula ever put on screen. He’s just some teenager dressed as Dracula, and is as charismatic as an average high school douchebag and as intimidating as Hello Kitty. There’s a scene where he attacks the blond chick among the crewmembers, and she really struggles to look scared and not to chuckle.
And other than that, Dracula 3000 looks like something you would find at the bottom at the barrel of the SyFy or Asylum Films catalogue, but even they would be too embarrassed to release this half-assed turkey. It also had a spot on the IMDb Bottom 100 list at one time, and that pretty much says it all. But, yeah, there’s a good amount of laughs to get from this if you’re weak for shitty and unintentionally funny films, in this case most thanks to Coolio and the string of quoteworthy dialogues.
Directors: Darrell Roodt
Country & year: Germany, South Africa 2004
Actors: Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio, Alexandra Kamp, Grant Swanby, Langley Kirkwood, Tom Lister Jr., Udo Kier
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt0367677/
A widower with supernatural abilities helps a local detective save her daughter from dark forces.
Evenfall is a thriller/horror short with an interesting concept: a detective using his supernatural abilities to help a local police woman find her kidnapped daughter. Could easily have been an interesting series!
Director: Dean Butler
Country & year: Australia, 2020
Actors: Dean Butler, Gemma Cavoli, Mariah O’Dea, James Broadhurst, Zack Inglis, Allyce Ananda, Lucia Tennant
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt12676980/
Adam Green starts working on a documentary about monster/creature artwork. Out of the blue, a man suddenly contacts him and claims he has proof of the existence of monsters. This man’s name is William Dekker, and he is a retired detective who is convinced that there’s underground monsters in a place he calls “The Marrow”. Green sees this as an opportunity to refocus his documentary into the story of Dekker and his efforts to expose these so-called underground monsters. They set up cameras in the woods nearby the hole where Dekker claims the monsters sometimes come out from, but Green and his crew are not sure whether this man is just setting up an elaborate hoax, or if he is just batshit crazy…or, maybe, if he’s actually telling the truth.
Digging Up the Marrow is a mockumentary-style horror film directed by Adam Green (yes, the same name as the protagonist, he is actually playing himself). The concept behind the movie is inspired by a fan mail sent to him by a guy named Alex Pardee. Later, Green met Pardee at a convention, where he shared his concept story which was about an artist that got commissioned to paint so-called real monsters. While the movie is made in pure mockumentary-style, the filmmakers actually decided to use a famous actor in the role as the crazy monster hunter Dekker, as they didn’t want the movie to come off as an attempted hoax. Thus, Ray Wise (Twin Peaks, 24, Robocop, etc.) was cast for the role. This does, of course, take away from the feeling of being “genuine” (which is usually what mockumentaries aim for), but Wise does a great job with portraying the slightly unbalanced monster hunter.
As for the effects used in the film, they’re actually pretty decent. Most of the effects used in the film were practical, based off of Pardee’s designs. The team had a bit of trouble when creating fully working animatronics though, due to Pardee’s designs being a tad bit too surreal…however, Green said he wanted to use designs that were unique, rather than doing something generic which the viewers had already seen many times before. And of course, it’s always fun seeing some dude playing a monster while dressed up in a full rubber costume!
So overall, Digging Up the Marrow is an easy watch and enjoyable enough. It is not a fast-paced creature feature flick, which should be obvious with the choice of filming it as a faux documentary, and there are more than a few dull moments. Still, it’s imaginative and compelling enough to entertain.
Director: Adam Green
Country & year: USA, 2014
Actors: Ray Wise, Adam Green, Will Barratt, Josh Ethier, Rileah Vanderbilt, Kane Hodder, Sarah Elbert, Tom Holland, Mick Garris, Alex Pardee, Jimmy McCarthy, Nic Henley, Caitlyn Brisbin, Robert Pendergraft
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt1991031/
The ghost of bad decisions haunts a drunk driver.
Hit + Run is a creepy horror short about a man (with an obvious alcohol problem) who gets haunted by the girl he killed while drunk driving.
Directors: Austin Faust, Mike Wolfe
Country & year: USA, 2020
Actors: James David West, Michael Leidel, Briana LaChelle Lantz, Emily K. Dennis, Thom Booton
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt12383904/
Mary Elnor is a young woman being accused of Witchcraft in Banfield, Massachusetts, in 1845. She is being hanged from a tree, and then lit on fire by an angry mob, who also bounds her spirit to the body of a doll before she takes her final breath.
Years later, we meet Gerry Fenn (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), who is a journalist who has gotten his reputation thrown into the gutter after being caught faking cases just to get publicity. He’s on an assignment which leads him to Boston, where he is going to look into a case of a cow with so-called satanic markings on it (which proves to be a teenage prank). Before deciding to leave the place and look for other means of stories that can give him some much-needed income, he finds the tree where Mary was hanged, and also the doll which was once “hidden” (in the very visible and big hole of the tree trunk…). He crushes the doll, and of course, then freeing the evil spirit of Mary Elnor.
After it gets dark and Gerry has decided to leave the place and return home, he sees a young girl run across the road to the tree where he found the doll earlier, and hears her speaking before fainting right in front of the tree. He takes the girl to a church nearby, and learns that her name is Alice and that she is actually deaf and can’t speak. This peaks his interest as he knows he heard her speak just moments before, and decides to stay around town to follow this strange case a bit further. Soon, Alice brings publicity from both close and far as not only does she now speak, but she claims that she was cured by the Virgin Mary, and she also starts healing people. When Gerry finds out that the so-called Virgin Mary is not what Alice believes her to be, but is instead a sinister entity, he tries to reveal what is actually the truth for once.
The Unholy is directed by Evan Spiliotopoulos, and is also his directional debut. It is based on a novel from 1983 by James Herbert, called Shrine. In the leading role we find Jeffrey Dean Morgan, whom most people probably know best as the villain “Negan” from The Walking Dead, but he also played the father of Supernatural-duo Sam & Dean. And oh boy, does this movie have a few cheesy Supernatural-vibes indeed!
The movie’s opening sequence leaves no mystery to be revealed, we already know that “Mary” isn’t the Virgin Mary, but the witch that was executed in 1845, Mary Elnor. Since we already know what’s going on, it’s hard to build any real suspense or sense of mystery, so the progress forward relies heavily on actor performances and character interactions. Fortunately, Jeffrey Dean Morgan does a solid job as the journalist who has fallen from grace and needs to turn his career around, only to find himself facing a dilemma: knowing that he’s now got a real, true case in his hands (not just another hoax), but also finding out that there’s something sinister going on, and that profiting from this case might not be the best moral decision. Thus, the lead character carries much of the movie. As for the villain, Mary Elnor herself, she does unfortunately not come off as the least bit scary. Often when she appears on screen, with her jerky movements and overly villainous treats, you almost feel like you should get your controller in hand and prepare yourself for a video-game boss battle. Like you’re watching some kind of cutscene before a fight. It does add another layer of cheese, however, and makes her appearances particularly entertaining.
And with all of that being said: The Unholy is not a scary movie, not even creepy. But if you can enjoy it as an easy-going popcorn flick with a little bit of B-grade cheese here and there (or like some kind of long Supernatural episode with Sam & Dean’s dad going on a solo-adventure), you’ll probably get some entertainment out of it.
Director: Evan Spiliotopoulos
Country & year: USA, 2021
Actors: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Cricket Brown, William Sadler, Katie Aselton, Cary Elwes, Diogo Morgado, Bates Wilder, Marina Mazepa, Christine Adams, Dustin Tucker, Gisela Chipe, Danny Corbo, Sonny Corbo
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt9419056/
A family struggles to cohabitate with a malevolent spirit that becomes violent whenever its presence is acknowledged.
Ignore It is a creepy horror short based on the viral NoSleep story “You’re Going to Notice a Woman in Your Home, You Must Ignore Her…”
Directors: Sam Evenson
Country & year: USA, 2021
Actors: Madison Rojas, Michael Perl, Madison Leyson, Crystal Hughes
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt11085736/
Joseph lives in the remote Canadian wilderness together with his wife Anne and their daughter Renee. They try to make a living from selling the fur of the animals they trap, which isn’t much but enough to make them go by. They feel threatened when a lone wolf starts eating the animals they’ve trapped, and Joseph decides to track down the wolf and get rid of what is threatening both their livelihood as well as their safety. When hunting down the wolf, however, Joseph comes across something far more dangerous and threatening…
Hunter Hunter is a slow burn thriller, which is offering quite an amount of atmosphere due to the cinematography and feeling of isolation in the remote wilderness setting. There are always those people who want to live away from the hustle and bustle of modern life, in remote areas and in total or near total isolation, Mountain Men-style. This kind of lifestyle is almost always very hard, where just making a living requires hard work (and some luck). The characters in this movie is no exception to this, but Joseph appears to be the most determined to never return to the comforts of modern life, while the wife (Anne) is thinking about their daughter whom she thinks should grow up under more… normal circumstances, going to school and meeting friends. With the wolf ruining much their livelihood as well, things have become harder than usual. But things won’t be as easy as just getting rid of the wolf, of course…
The film does suffer a bit from a slow start of what initially appears to be a simple man vs nature/beast story, but when you’re becoming aware of how much of a darker turn it takes, it manages to keep the tension on track. The acting feels believable and realistic, and while the characters themselves doesn’t really offer much personality or traits to make them memorable, their performances heightens the build-up of tension and foreboding.
Now, the movie’s ending is inevitably what has gotten most people’s attention, and yes…it really does pack a punch with its vicious brutality, and probably gives it the extra bite it needed. It’s not a movie for those who are not fond of slow-burners, but overall it’s a tense thriller which provides a few surprises and twists along the way.
WARNING: watch the trailer at your own risk, there’s a lot of spoilers…
Director: Shawn Linden
Country & year: Canada, 2020
Actors: Camille Sullivan, Summer H. Howell, Devon Sawa, Nick Stahl, Gabriel Daniels, Lauren Cochrane, Jade Michael, Erik Athavale, Karl Thordarson, Blake Taylor, Sarah Constible
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt2226162/
Andrea visits deceased painter Arganti’s house to investigate his cursed pantings of the crying kids, among them The Crying Boy.
The Crying Boy is an atmospheric horror short about haunted paintings (inspired by the famous “The Crying Boy” painting).
Directors: Alessandro Antonaci, Daniel Lascar, Stefano Mandalà
Country & year: Italy, 2019
Actors: Elena Cascino
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt12337710/
Dark Water focuses on the narrative of a deep-sea environment that unexpectedly manifests in the walls of a grieving women’s suburban dwelling; an impossible, flooded inner-architecture. It explores familial trauma through the darkly surreal tale of a woman who discovers an ocean within her house. The life forms that dwell in this space are both real and a manifestation of the resident’s internal psychological state, as she comes to terms with the death of her mother. Dark Water is underscored by both a sense of human loss and contemporary concerns around habitat loss within our oceans.
Dark Water is a strange and surreal little horror short!
Director: Erin Coates, Anna Nazzari
Country & year: Australia, 2019
Actors: Zachary Drieberg, Alexandra Nell
IMDb: www.imdb.com/title/tt11492724/
